by Danni Roan
Chapter 17
Over the next five days, Ellery dragged himself out of the haven of his room and walked his children to school. They were quiet around him, uncertain how to behave after his recent hermitage.
The morning sun on his skin seemed almost painful, as each glistening blade of grass, bejeweled with a drop of dew reminded him that another day had dawned without his beloved. Still Miss Haven was right, he had to go on living, if for nothing else than his children.
Each afternoon he met the children again at the schoolhouse walking them home, often in the company of their teacher Mr. Gatlin, a frequent guest at the boarding house where his wife still worked.
“Pa, are we gonna live with grandma and grandpa forever,” Mark asked one afternoon as they made their way toward home. “I like it and all, but I’m tired of sharing a room with Georgie, he sings in his sleep.”
Ellery looked down at his son, remembering the home he had built back in Virginia for his family. Each child had their own room, a quiet place away from the bustle and noise of the city.
“Don’t you like staying at the boarding house?” Ellery asked his older son.
“It gets kind of busy,” Mark replied. “I mean the people are interesting and all, but sometimes I wish I could find a bit of quiet like.”
Ernestine’s proposal of a few days ago drifted back into Ellery’s mind and he wondered if he actually went through with it, if it would be best for the children. He knew they would have someone around to care for them. Perhaps it was time he put his pain aside and gave the children what they wanted.
“I don’t know if there is any place else available at the moment,” Ellery’s words were soft, mere whispers of his thoughts, but his son grinned up at him, anyway.
“Actually, I heard that the banker and his wife are planning on moving closer to his daughter,” Alyssa said. “He’ll be renting his house out so that he and his wife can be closer to their new grandbaby.”
“I don’t want to move,” Georgie spoke up. “I like living at the Boarding House, and besides where will Ernie go? We can’t leave Ernie,” he finished, his chin quivering as he thought of leaving the woman behind.
“I’m sure Miss Haven could come with us,” Ellery assured the boy, laying his hand on his son’s small shoulder.
***
“Miss Haven” Ellery looked across the dining table that evening. “Would you mind taking a little stroll with me after we finish eating? I’d like to discuss a few things with you.”
“Of course Mr. Olson,” Ernie smiled. “I’ll get the children started on their homework then we can go.”
“You two go on,” Polly chimed in looking down the table at Grady and Becky, “I’m sure between us we can get the children started,” she grinned. “Besides you look like you could use some fresh air Ernie,” she added.
Ernie nodded her thanks to the other adults at the table, wondering what Mr. Olson wanted to discuss with her. She knew she had been bold earlier that week when her devotion to the children had gotten the better of her, but now she worried that the man had taken offense and would send her packing. The children needed her, and even if Mr. Olson had been taking meals in the kitchen with the family and walking his children to and from school each day, she didn’t trust him not to slip back into the depression that had overwhelmed him for so long.
A half hour later, she was wrapped in her shawl and stepping out into the street of Biders Clump.
“Georgie’s report on how the town got its name turned out very well,” she blurted nervously as they turned down the street toward the general store. “What a strange story,” she continued hurrying on. “I suppose many folks traveling the Oregon Trail grew weary of it and chose to stop and bide in various places though.”
“I grew up here,” Ellery said with a bit of a nod. “I knew the story from the time I was a boy. Seems that one man, long ago, just stopped when he saw the mountains out there and decided to bide until his team, or his spirit was ready to tackle them.
Then as more wagon trains came along, folks who needed a place to stop awhile joined up around that clump of trees near the church. Before you know it, this was a trading town and soon a major way station along the trail.”
“But I don’t understand why it is Biders, plural, not Bider’s, possessive,” Ernie sighed biting her lip as she worried over the problem.
“That’s simple,” Ellery said, a hint of laughter in his voice. “It wasn’t about the clump of trees that the first wagon stopped near. It was about the folks who ended up here, coming together, and gathering into one big clump to make something of this place that mattered.”
Ernie smiled, her hazel eyes dancing with delight at the explanation. “I see, everyone helping each other and looking out for one another is what made Biders Clump what it is today.”
“Exactly,” Ellery agreed offering his arm as he turned to cross the street.
“I just thought you’d like to know that Georgie got good marks on his paper,” Ernie finished her voice falling flat with nothing more to say.
“Miss Haven I wanted to talk to you about our conversation the other night.”
“Oh, that!” Ernie fluttered her voice a nervous buzz. “I was out of line, I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have spoken to you like that.” Her heart beat faster as she worried that he was going to send her away.
“No, no,” Ellery mused. “I think you did the right thing. I’ve been selfish, wallowing in self-pity, and depression, and I need that to stop for the sake of my children. That’s why I’d like to take you up on your offer and get married.”
The world seemed to spin as Ellery’s words sank into Ernie’s numb brain. He wanted to go through with it, wanted to marry her so she could care for his children.
“Miss Haven?”
“I, I, I don’t know what to say.”
“It was your idea. Then today coming home Mark was saying how he’d like to have his own room and that he wished he could have a quiet space of his own. Georgie of course didn’t want to go if you weren’t going too, and well, I just thought.” He looked up shrugging as no more words came.
“But where will you go?” Ernie asked. “Will you return to your old home and job?”
“No, I think I’ll stay here in Biders Clump. The children are settled, and my parents aren’t getting any younger. I can work at the boarding house when it’s busy and possibly find odd jobs the rest of the time. I heard a rumor that Mr. Williams is moving into the old Sparak home, so he can be closer to his daughter, and I could rent his place until I found something of our own.”
Ernie nodded, her mind whirring with the idea of marrying a man she didn’t love or really even know, so she could remain with the children she already loved. Was the trade off worth it? Was living in a loveless marriage a fair trade for keeping each of the Olson children in her heart?
“If you can work that out, I would be willing,” she finally said. “How do we start?”
Ellery ran his hands through his hair wondering if he was doing the right thing. He wanted what was best for his children, but didn’t believe he was good enough on his own to provide for them. Mark was tired of sharing with his little brother, and Alyssa felt her father wasn’t really there.
He had made a mess of everything and could only hope that this decision wouldn’t make things worse. It was obvious that his children liked and appreciated Miss Haven. If marrying her would mean they had more stability in their life, it would be worth it. His heart was already gone, and he knew he would never love again, so what harm would it do?
“I’ll head over to the bank and have a talk with Jasper Williams,” he finally said. “We’ll talk to the children after everything is settled.”
Ernie nodded wondering if they should talk to the children first, but held her tongue. It was obvious that the man before her was still fragile, and she didn’t want to do anything that would jeopardize his forward motion.
“I’ll see you later than,” Ernie agreed tu
rning and heading back toward the boarding house. This was the kind of chance she had longed for, and now it was here. She could have a home of her own, a family that she never had to leave behind, and a man who would at least listen to her if never love her. “God, I hope I’m doing the right thing,” she whispered as she stepped up to the two-story house she now called home. “Let it be so.”
Chapter 18
“Mr. Olson, don’t you think we should discuss this with the children?” Ernestine asked a few days later as she walked along the street with Ellery. “They may not take the news well.”
“No, it’s time I start acting like their father again,” Ellery said, giving a shake of his head. “I’ve been absent too much, and now that I know what direction to go, I’m sticking with it. Pastor Dalton agreed to meet with us this afternoon, and we can make the announcement at dinner tonight. The children will be happy once they are settled in the Williams’ home and know they have two people dedicated to their care and a home of their own.”
Ernie’s stomach quivered wondering if the man was right, but not sure how to articulate her doubts. “It will be an adjustment for everyone. I hope it won’t be too difficult.”
“Mark is already struggling with having to share a room with his brother. I know there is nothing wrong with them having to share,” he added a slight grin tugging at his lips. “My brothers and I shared for years, but the children were used to having a space of their own back in Virginia, and I think it will be better if we move quickly. I know Ma will never admit it, but she isn’t up to dealing with all these children under foot when she’s trying to run a busy boarding house. As the weather continues to warm through the summer, it will fill up every night and that means mouths to feed.”
Ernie stopped at the bottom of the stairs leading to the bright red doors of the little white church on the far end of town as she studied Ellery’s face. “Are you sure?” she said quietly. “I mean really sure?”
“I’m sure,” Ellery nodded. “I haven’t been much good to anyone lately, and you’ve grown attached to the children even as they have grown to depend on you.” He cleared his throat at the confession. “I need to know they’ll have someone there for them if I slide again.”
Ernie nodded slowly feeling the tug of her dark hair in its tight knot pulling at her scalp. She wanted what was best for the children and had seen firsthand how bad things could get with the man. “All right,” she agreed taking his arm and hefting her skirt in her other hand as she placed a foot on the stairs walking willingly into a new life.
***
“This is a serious endeavor,” Pastor Dalton intoned as Ellery led Miss Haven to the front of the church. “Ellery, are you sure you want to go through with this? There’s no hurry you know?”
“I’m sure Dalton,” Ellery said. “It’s best for the children.”
“And what about you Miss Haven? You haven’t been in Biders Clump long, but you are now one of my parishioners, and I feel a duty to you.” Pastor Dalton turned his portly form toward the woman. “Are you sure you can agree to marry a man who may never be able to love you?” The preacher’s eyes were kind but concerned and Ernie lifted her chin boldly.
“I’m sure Preacher,” she said. “I have my eyes wide open going into this situation, and I believe God brought me here for just such a reason.”
Pastor Dalton shook his head of graying hair. “I spoke to Ellery at length,” he sighed, “there’s no reason to rush into this. Take some time, get to know each other.”
“Pastor Dalton my children need someone who will care for them, someone who will be there even if I’m not. Mother and Father aren’t getting any younger and could be gone sooner rather than later. I don’t want my children to be alone in this world. Miss Haven has determined that she would rather not be separated from my brood once they reach an age where they no longer need her. This way, she can stay, care for them, and be a part of their lives long into the future.”
Ernie turned smiling up at Ellery as she realized that he understood her desire to be allowed to love his children. “He’s right,” she spoke her amber gaze searching his. “I’ve been a governess since I was eighteen, and the pain of leaving children behind again and again is too much. I already love these children; if we wed, I’ll care for them as if they were my own no matter what happens.”
“I reckon your mind is made up then,” Pastor Dalton conceded. “Just remember that the two of you will need to come together as one. You’ll have to stand together in watching over the children and each other. There’s a reason the vows say in sickness and health, for richer or poorer and the like. Do you understand?”
Ernie gazed into Ellery’s eyes for a moment more then turned to the preacher as together they replied with I do.
Pastor Dalton closed his little prayer book with a snap then reached out a hand. “I suppose that’s good enough then,” he grinned. “I now pronounce you man and wife.”
Ernie blinked at the preacher. She hadn’t expected a fancy wedding or ceremony. She hadn’t even bothered to put on her best dress, but this seemed the shortest wedding in history.
Ellery shook hands with Pastor Dalton, the simple country preacher grinning at him the whole time, as it sank in that he was now married to Miss Haven.
“I’ll be praying for you both,” Dalton said turning them around to face the way they had come. “I’m sure the children will be thrilled.”
Ellery walked Ernestine down the aisle, not quite sure what had just happened, but feeling a sense of relief about the deed. If he failed as a man, as a father, at least his children would have Ernestine to lean on.
Chapter 19
“We’ll talk to the children at supper tonight,” Ellery said as the new couple walked slowly along the boardwalk, never noticing the silent figure that dodged away from the church hurrying toward the livery stable.
“I hope they won’t be upset,” Ernie offered shaking her head.
“Why would they?” Ellery couldn’t track the woman’s thinking at all. “They obviously love you already, and they’re getting a place of their own until I can figure out what comes next.”
Ernie turned troubled eyes to the man beside her. Children didn’t have the reason of adults. They were often easily confused and let their emotions rule them. “I hope you’re right,” she finally sighed.
Ellery put the negative thoughts aside. He felt that he had finally done the right thing, and that even if he fell into depression once more he wouldn’t fail his children. Ernestine was willing to be a part of their lives, a better part than he could be. Everything would surely go off without any trouble at all.
***
Ellery walked the children home from school itching to tell them the good news. He felt lighter than he had in weeks, more confident and able to deal with daily demands as he headed toward the schoolhouse to collect the children.
He had spent much of the day working with his father, cutting firewood, cleaning the barn, or moving furniture for his mother, all the while wondering at the odd looks his father gave him. His muscles ached, but he felt more alive than he had in ages, and he could barely wait to tell the children the news before they arrived back at the house.
Entering the boarding house, amidst Georgie’s chatter, the scent of fresh baked gingerbread welcomed the small family and Ellery smiled hurrying the children along toward the kitchen and their after school treats.
“Good afternoon children,” Ernestine greeted the band. “Miss Polly has gingerbread and milk ready.” Her eyes met Ellery’s as she shifted the baby on her hip and nodded.
“Children, I have something I’d like to tell you,” Ellery began as the children took seats at the long table in the kitchen. “Mother this concerns you as well,” he added waiting until his mother poured her tea and joined them.
“What is it Ellery?” Polly said a nervous rumble in her stomach making her take a sip of tea.
“Today Miss Haven and I wed,” the lean man blurted. “We found a
house to rent in town and we’ll all be moving there this weekend.”
Silence hung in the air as stunned eyes turned toward Ellery. Dark green gazes searching his face with doubt.
“What?” Polly said blinking, her blue eyes full of shock.
“We got married,” Ellery repeated. “Now we can have a place of our own and won’t be underfoot all the time. Mark, you can have your own room, and Georgie you can sing all night long if you want to.”
“Why?” Mark asked, his delectable treat forgotten.
“So you can have your own room, a place all your own where you won’t have guests hurrying in and out at all hours. Miss Haven will be there with you just like now, and I’ll get a job or something.”
“You can’t,” Alyssa’s eyes flashed. “How could you?”
“Alyssa it’s for your own good,” Ellery insisted, shocked at the reception of his words. “Besides, I know how much you like Miss Haven.”
“I hate you,” Alyssa shouted jumping from her chair and glaring at her father, her small hands wrapped into fists. “I hate both or you,” she finished tears filling her eyes as she raced out of the room and up the stairs.
“Oh my,” Polly said looking at Ellery as George stepped through the door.
“I don’t understand,” Ellery turned looking at Ernie. “What just happened?”
“I was afraid of this,” Ernie dropped her gaze wondering if she should have spoken up sooner. “Change is never an easy thing. I’ll speak with her.”
“We’ll go together,” Ellery said as Polly took Sophia from Ernie. “This is going to work.”
“George?” Polly whispered worried about their son and his oldest child.
“Maybe Byron was right,” George’s voice was a rough sigh, “Maybe I shouldn’t have meddled.”
Chapter 20
The transition from Boarding House to a new home was not easy, and Ellery felt exhausted by the constant fight and spite of his daughter.