by Danni Roan
“How’s George?” she asked her grip not slacking.
“He’s awake,” Ellery replied feeling the strain and stress ebbing as he held the woman close. The simple touch, the gentle gesture seemed to go straight to his heart, and he closed his eyes accepting the comfort and care she was offering.
Ernie pulled back placing her hands on Ellery’s face and gazing into his eyes. “How are you holding up?”
Ellery’s lip twitched upward on one side and he met her gaze. “I’m fine,” he assured wanting her to know he meant it. “Pa’s awake, but Doc is keeping him for a spell to make sure it was only the heat that caused his collapse.”
Ernie took her first deep breath since Becky had come to get her and leaned into Ellery for a moment collecting herself as relief washed over her. “Thank God,” she sighed leaning back and taking Ellery’s hand as they headed for the kitchen. “Sophia’s sleeping, so you come have some coffee and tell me everything. Becky’s worried half sick.”
Ellery followed Ernie down the hall shocked at the sudden familiarity he felt toward the woman. They had been living in the same house for months, and now even shared a room, but he had kept her at a distance only to realize today how much she should mean to him. He didn’t love her; he had no romantic inclination, yet his heart swelled with appreciation for who this woman really was.
“Ellery!” Becky gasped as they entered the room. “What’s the news?” she fluttered.
“Pa’s awake,” Ellery said, taking the seat that Ernie pushed him into. “Ma is staying with him, and the Doc is gonna watch him today. He said it could have been the heat that caused Pa to pass out, something about his blood getting too hot or such. He’ll keep him for a bit, but he’ll be home tomorrow.”
Becky pressed a hand to her chest. “I hope that’s all it is. George isn’t getting any younger.”
“No, neither of them are,” Ellery agreed hanging his head as he realized what a burden he had been to his parents. “I’ll do better at helping out around here.”
Ernie placed a cup of coffee before Ellery then poured fresh tea for her and Becky as the steady drizzle fell outside. She was pleased to see that Ellery hadn’t gone to pieces and noted something in his face she hadn’t seen there before: determination.
She was still shocked at her behavior earlier when she’d hugged him, but her heart had been on her sleeve, and she couldn’t have done less. He needed a physical connection, needed the comfort a hug provided, and she had needed to know that he was holding up to the sorrow and strain of the day. Only time would tell if George was truly fine, but in the mean time she would do all she could to help her new family and the people she had started to love.
Chapter 25
George came home that evening accompanied by Polly and the doctor.
“Are you going to be all right Grandpa?” Mark asked as the children gathered around him in the living area where his supper had been served.
“I’m gonna be just fine,” George grinned. “I just got too hot, and I’m not as young as I used to be. Maybe I should have listened to Polly and had more water and less coffee this morning.”
“I’m glad you aren’t dead,” Georgie said climbing into George’s lap.
“Me too,” the old man chuckled. “Now don’t you kiddies go getting all worried, folks have spells sometimes it don’t mean nothing.”
Georgie wound his arms around his grandfather’s neck hugging him tight. “We’ll look after you grandpa,” he said kissing a grizzled cheek.
Ernie smiled at the children, her heart aching for the fear this event had caused them.
“They’ll be fine,” Ellery said joining her in the doorway. “They have to realize that just because they lost someone they loved the world doesn’t end.”
Ernie turned looking up into Ellery’s face surprised at his words.
“We all have this one life to live and no matter how painful it may be at times, we can’t give up. I’m sorry I’ve been so useless,” he added. “I’m eternally grateful for you coming here and looking after us all.”
Ernie gazed into Ellery’s dark hazel eyes pleased and surprised by his words as her heart pressed toward him. She could love this man if he would let her. If he would only open up and be the man he truly was. Perhaps in time they would be more than two individuals sharing a home and caring for the children they both loved.
Ellery studied the woman before him seeing a light in her amber eyes that he hadn’t noticed before. He could feel the affection she had for him, and suddenly wondered if it could be more. He had agreed to be her husband thinking they would ever be strangers in the same home, yet now he was seeing her in a different light.
Ernestine Haven-Olson was so much more than a governess. She was a loving heart who had adopted his family as her own. She had risked much agreeing to this bargain, and he suddenly realized this gamble could be so much bigger if he were willing to try.
“Becky has dinner ready,” he hedged not ready yet to explore his feelings for the woman before him.
“Come on Grandpa, you can sit with me,” Georgie said taking his grandfather’s hand as the children followed them to the busy kitchen.
Ernie returned to the kitchen, helping Becky and Grady place several large potpies on the tables along with bread, butter, and a pickle. They had found the simplest meal possible preparing it and putting it in the oven before Polly had returned.
Polly, George and the rest of the family moved to the table nearest the oven, and George reached out his hands as his family joined him in prayer, but before he could start Ellery’s voice lifted carrying only to their ears.
“Dear God,” Ell spoke, “thank you for this family and the love that is shared around this family. Thank you for bringing my father home tonight, healthy and well. Bless this food to our bodies tonight and give us the strength to love as you loved us. Amen.”
Everyone looked up at Ellery, sweet surprise on each face. It had been a long time since Ellery had turned his heart over to God, but now he did it willingly, realizing that he could not control his world only love and do his best from day to day.
“Pa, are you feeling alright?” Alyssa asked leaning toward her father as Ernie began serving.
“I’m feeling better than I have in a long time sweetheart,” Ellery admitted. “I’m sorry I haven’t been the father you needed for so long, but I promise to do better.”
Alyssa looked between her father and Ernie for a moment certain she was missing something but unsure what it was. She had been so frightened when Mr. Gatlin had walked them home from school that day explaining that her grandfather was ill. It hurt too much to think of something happening to anyone in her family, and it had slammed home that no matter how hard she tried to protect her heart she would always be in danger of losing someone.
Quietly toying with her dinner as she stole glances at those at the table, she thought of how she had treated Ernie and guilt mingled with shame in her chest.
She needed to talk to Ernie. She needed to apologize for her outburst earlier, but it was so hard to take yet another change. Alyssa, young as she was, realized that living her life in fear was not living at all.
The boarding house was loud as guests chatted, and meals were finished. The rain had finally stopped and a cool evening beckoned those who had been cooped up in their rooms all day. Soon the tables were empty, and Ernie rose to help Becky deal with the mess.
“Polly you go have a seat in the office with George while the children do their homework,” Ernie urged with a smile. “Becky and I can take care of this tonight.”
“I’ll help,” Alyssa volunteered surprising everyone. “I’ll finish my homework later.” She added looking at Grady who offered one of his brightest smiles.
“Thank you,” Polly said taking George’s arm. “I think that would be wonderful, don’t you George?”
“Seems like a good plan to me.”
“Mr. Olson?” a woman hurried down the stairs peering down the hall whe
re George and Polly stood. “I’m leaving on the evening train can you fetch my bags?”
“I’ve got it!” Ellery all but shouted pushing past his parents as the children dove into the office. “Pa, until Doc Walker says otherwise, I think I’ll take care of the luggage.”
George Olson nodded a soft smile playing at his lips. “I’m glad you’re here son.”
Chapter 26
Something had changed. It had been nearly a month since George Olson had collapsed at the train station and though the doctor had cleared him to get back to work Ernie had seen a profound change in Ellery.
The man she had married to provide stability for his children had changed. He no longer seemed to second-guess everything he did, and he worked harder than ever helping his father, tending to needs around the Boarding House and caring for his children.
He had reconnected with his children in a real and meaningful way, and the longer Ernie watched him, lived with him, grew to know him, the more she realized she was losing her heart.
It was as if the storm on that fateful day had washed away the doubt, pain, and fear Ellery had lived under for so long, and as the sun returned, his heart had awakened growing stronger each day.
The children became dearer each day to Ernie, and she smiled at their antics though at times they would test her as children often did.
Another big change was in Alyssa’s attitude as the girl had finally accepted Ernie as the woman of the house. She knew that the child would never love her the way she had her own mother, but the fact that they could talk, work together, and get along meant more than Ernie could express.
“I’ve been thinking,” Ellery said one night as they stepped into the living area of the rented home, addressing the whole family. “I think we need our own house.”
“I thought this was our house,” Mark said.
“No we’re only renting this house,” Alyssa corrected. “Pa pays for us to live here, but it belongs to someone else.”
“Where would our house be?” Mark asked shifting his reader on his lap.
“I thought I’d ask Pa about building a house on the back lot of the Boarding House. That way we’d all be close, and I could continue to work there. Once it was built, we wouldn’t need much else.”
“Would I have my own room?” Georgie asked giving his brother a hard look.
“Yes you could have your own room,” Ellery laughed.
“And will Ernie go there too?” the boy asked taking Ernie’s hand where it rested on the couch.
“Ernie is going to be with us always,” Ellery said softly, his hazel eyes seeking hers. “I don’t know what we would do without her.”
Ernie felt her cheeks heat at the words, and her heart fluttered at the look in Ellery’s eyes. Could he be learning to care for her even as she was falling in love with him?
“Yes I’m going to be with you all,” she said looking down at Georgie. “I think it would be wonderful to have a place of our own.”
Ellery smiled. “Would you help me with the plan?” his eyes drew her gaze once more. “It will be your home as well, and you should have some say on to how things are done.”
Ernie gaped, blinking at the man for a long moment. No one had ever asked her opinion on how she wanted to live before. For so many years, she had either lived in a single room in a boarding house or a room in someone else’s home. Could she really have a place to call her own? “Thank you,” she said her voice thick with emotion.
Ellery smiled, hearing the emotion in Ernie’s voice. The woman had been more than a blessing to him and his family, and he realized that as heartbroken as he still was over the loss of his beloved Alice, that his heart was growing stronger each day, slowing softening to the possibility of love.
He was in no hurry, no rush to explore the new feelings that were growing for Ernestine. He needed time to discover exactly what it all meant, and to be sure, that she at least would entertain the chance.
“I think I’d like living behind the Boarding House,” Alyssa said looking between Ernie and her father. “I can go over and visit grandma anytime I want to.”
“And I can have cookies all the time,” Georgie added making everyone laugh.
“I think it’s a good idea,” Ernie agreed. “We’ll all be closer to those we love.”
“I’ll talk to Pa in the morning,” Ellery nodded. “Now you children get ready for bed while Ernie and I see if we can come up with a plan.”
“Come on boys,” Alyssa said closing her books and moving to the parlor door. “How long will it take Pa?” she added twisting toward Ellery.
“If I can get enough people to help, we could be in our new home before the first snow.”
“I’ll help,” Georgie chimed. “Me and Mark both.”
“I’m sure you will,” Ernie laughed. “Now go get ready for bed, and I’ll be along to say prayers in a minute.”
“Are you sure this is a good idea,” Ellery asked as the children left. “Building a house can be stressful.”
“I think it is a wonderful idea,” Ernie smiled. “We know we can’t stay here forever.”
Ellery nodded his mind racing. “I’m glad you agree. I don’t know what I’d do without you Ernestine.”
Ernie stood surprised when Ellery joined her stepping up to look into her eyes.
“You would go on,” she said looking up into his hazel eyes. “That is what we humans do. We go on. When one leaves this world, another arrives. As some sorrow, others rejoice. Young people marry, babies are born, and others pass through the vale into glory. It’s beautiful, joyous, and devastating all at one time.”
Ellery ran a hand over Ernie’s cheek, his fingers gazing the soft skin of her throat. “I guess there is nothing we can do about it either,” he mused, his eyes studying her face.
“Not a thing.”
Ellery brushed his thumb along Ernie’s jaw line, leaning in and brushing a kiss on her cheek before releasing her and walking away.
Chapter 27
Ernie stepped behind the screen in the corner of the bedroom and slipped out of her dress, unlacing her corset and sliding it over her hips, her mind buzzing as her body went through the familiar motions without thought.
Over the past few weeks Ellery had been more present, yes present was the word she wanted. He no longer slipped from the house in the wee hours to walk aimlessly, or ignored his family for hours on end. The incident with his father had broken something loose in the man she has married, and now tonight, after that unexpected show of affection, she wondered exactly how profound the change had been.
Ellery was helpful around the house, taking time to chat and work with his children, and even helping her when something heavy needed to be moved.
“He’s just being appreciative,” Ernie assured herself in the softest of whispers. “He’s glad I’m here to care for the house and children. It doesn’t mean anything.”
Shaking her head, she rolled her stockings down her legs, folding them neatly then pulled her nightgown over her head. Something was happening in this home, something unexpected but welcome. Ellery was beginning to live again, and Ernie’s heart skipped with excitement. She had prayed so much for the man, and the fact that he was now a true part of this family again made her soul sing.
The room was dark as Ernie slipped into bed pulling the warm quilt over her and settling her tired body on the comfortable mattress.
“Good night,” she said into the night, smiling when Ellery rolled over and returned the wish.
A new home, a family of her own, and someone she could talk to from the heart had been given to Ernie even if she still didn’t have love. She could give love even when she didn’t receive it in return. Her heart was big enough to give all she had, but deep inside it longed for something more. Ellery had changed so much in the weeks since they had married. Would he ever be able to look at her with the affection of a husband and not only a grateful man?
“Things are changing Ernestine,” Ellery spo
ke just as Ernie was drifting off to sleep, and her eyes flew open as she turned to face him. “I don’t know what comes next, but for the first time in half a year I can see a future.”
Ernie didn’t reply, simply listened as the man beside her spoke. Something told her he didn’t need her to say anything, but simply listen and be there for him. A moment later, her suspicious were rewarded when he spoke again.
“I feel like a new day is dawning for all of us. The children are doing well, I have the opportunity to help my parents and start over.”
Ernie could hear the hope and sorrow mingled in Ellery’s voice and even in the darkness could see the sadness in his hazel eyes.
“Whatever comes next Ellery, I’m here for you. When I agreed to this, it was for the welfare of the children, but now I know it was also for you. Perhaps I answered your father’s ad to come and work as a governess, but God had a deeper purpose for me. I’m here for you. I’m your friend and hope to always be someone you can turn to in any need.”
Ernie caught a glimpse of a smile in the darkness, and her heart skipped a beat again. Ellery’s smiles were so rare, but they had slowly been making an appearance more often.
“Thank you,” Ellery whispered his fingers pushing a strand of hair behind her ear. “I didn’t want anything to do with you when you first arrived in Biders Clump, but now I’m truly grateful you came. I’m sure Pa didn’t have all of this in mind,” he waved his hand around the room, “when he wrote to you, but I think it has worked out well.”
Ernie nodded, still feeling the brush of his fingers on her ear as she listened. Could love grow in such rocky soil, she wondered. Was it possible that in loving the man’s children she had also grown to love him, flaws and all?
“I don’t know what tomorrow might bring Ernie, but I know that I’m glad to have you at my side.”
“Ellery, you don’t need anyone to help you. You’re a strong man if you only let your heart guide you. I’m thankful to be here as well, but even if I weren’t, you could manage. God is on your side.”