“Hear, hear!” said Honoria.
“It seems as though I shall never find a safe haven such as this.” Diana couldn’t stop the low sigh that pushed from her chest.
“Pish. Safety is boring.” Honoria sipped the last of her tea and put her cup down with a snap.
Laughing, Mrs. Fallcraft put her cup down as well. “Her ladyship is correct. When I came here, I was barely twenty and already widowed. My parents planned to wait out my mourning period and marry me off to some rich old man. I couldn’t bear the idea, so I ran with what fortune was left to me. Bad weather forced me off the road to this abandoned castle, where I found two young boys who had also run away. They were twelve years old and had come all the way from Eton. Together we built this school with the help of the earl who’d left the property vacant. The Earl of Buckrose had to do quite a lot of legal work to change his entailment and give this place to the school. It has not always been easy, but here it still stands. It has been quite the adventure. I know that if you are under my Horsemen’s protection, you have been through a lot. Take the advice of an old woman. Do not let the bad that has befallen you close you off to the good that awaits.”
It was perhaps the sagest advice Diana would ever receive. “I hope I can take your advice and have as wondrous a life as you, ma’am.
* * * *
Diana dressed in a yellow gown for dinner. Its low-cut neckline was far more revealing than she was used to, but she admired herself in the glass before she went down, and thought how nice it was to look like a real lady.
The way Jacques looked up at her from the bottom of the stairs made any momentary worry over her gown disappear. His admiration sucked all the air out of the room, and Diana had to remind herself to breathe.
“You are stunning,” he said, offering his arm for escort into dinner. “Why did you not join us in the parlor before dinner?”
“It took longer to dress than I expected.” It was a half-truth. Diana was still leery of socializing with the Horsemen. However, her meeting with Mrs. Fallcraft had changed her opinion of them more than she’d expected, and eased her mind.
As soon as Jacques had finished helping her to her seat, Sebastian asked, “What did you think of our Mrs. Fallcraft, Miss MacLeod?”
Diana took a sip of the wine. “She is a remarkable lady.”
“We had a lovely time.” Honoria had already drunk more than half her glass and the footman refilled it. “We heard much about the school and not nearly enough about the four of you.”
Even Alex smiled at that. “I’m glad to hear we are not completely exposed by the headmistress.”
Dove was served as a first course. Diana’s stomach grumbled. “Mrs. Fallcraft only divulged that she was very fond of each of you and that perhaps one of you might take over for her when she retires.”
Alex’s smile faltered. “I suppose it is inevitable that one day she will not be able to continue.”
“She is getting on in years and it’s a rigorous schedule,” Oliver said.
Nathaniel looked at Oliver. “What do you say, Oli? Ready to take the reins?”
“What makes you think she was referring to me? I’m no teacher.” Oliver stabbed his poor dove brutally and it was a good thing the bird was already dead.
“Oliver is too short-tempered to be a headmaster at Buckrose. He’d do better as the headmaster at Eton.” Sebastian laughed and ate his food without looking up.
“There is no need to be insulting.” The dove slid across Oliver’s plate. Finally, he gave up on the utensils and tore into his food with his fingers.
Sebastian continued without lifting his gaze. “Can you imagine the thugs that would come out of Buckrose with you in charge?”
Waving his dove as a pointer, Oliver said, “I could do it. I just have no desire to. I’m certainly smarter than the three of you.”
“That is certain.”
Diana was both amused and surprised by Alex’s agreement and the nods from the other two Horsemen.”
Honoria asked, “Exactly how smart are you, Mr. Graham?”
“I don’t know how to answer that, my lady.” He’d devoured his dove and wiped his hands on the napkin.
A footman came with a bowl of warm water and placed it on the table beside Oliver. It must have been quite normal for him to eat with his hands. Diana kept her giggling behind her hand as he washed and dried his fingers.
Undaunted, Honoria put her fork down. “Well, for example, are you as smart as Miss MacLeod?”
Putting his index finger to the side of his head, Oliver stared at Diana. “Can you do complex calculations in your head, Miss MacLeod?”
“Is that important?” Diana leaned back while the footman cleared her plate and brought soup. Spices filled the dining room, and she struggled to wait for everyone to be served before taking a taste.
Jacques cocked his head. “I think Miss MacLeod is embarrassed by your directness.”
“I apologize. I don’t mean to put you on the spot, miss. I just wondered how your mind works. Some people must do all things on paper. Some do it all in their head. I have often struggled with putting my work to paper, but I am quite adept at giving a complex calculation its final result.”
Everyone focused on Diana. The thought of crawling under the table appealed to her. “If I answer, can we change the subject?”
Oliver smiled. “It will depend on your answer, I should think.”
All gazes remained focused on her. “Oh, for pity’s sake. I can do calculations of a complex nature both in my head and on paper. I can tell you every discovered element and all the known and some unknown properties of each. I have not written any papers because women are not taken seriously in the scientific field. Further, I am adept at most forms of mathematics, physics and alchemy.”
“There’s no need to brag,” Oliver quipped, and everyone at the table laughed, including Diana. He turned back to Honoria. “Miss MacLeod might be smarter than me, my lady.”
Nathaniel put his spoon down. “Oli writes poetry as well as prose.”
Grinning, Diana said, “I have no talent for words, Mr. Graham. Perhaps we may call it a draw.”
He raised his glass to her. “You are a good sport, miss.”
Jacques’s admiring gaze landed on Diana and sent a warm wave through her. In her experience before they were taken to France, men did not care for women who were smarter than them. With the two men who had courted her, Mother had been very specific about not talking science. She had tried, but as soon as one of them mentioned her father’s work, she’d expounded on his experiments. Of course, Mother had been right. They ceased courting after that.
When he finally pulled his gaze away, Jacques looked at Alex. “Before we came in for supper, I noticed it has started snowing again. This will delay finding Caron, I assume.”
Alex pushed his plate back before propping his elbows on the table. “It is damned inconvenient. The only good thing is that if we can’t get around to find him, he can’t be moving much either. You are safe for the time being, Miss MacLeod.”
“That is something.” Diana didn’t feel safe. The only time she had any sense of security was in Jacques’s arms. She quickly pushed those thoughts down before her blush gave her away.
Honoria slapped the table. “If there is no danger imminent, I suggest we see if this old castle has a good bottle of whiskey in it.”
Sebastian laughed at his dining partner. “Are you a great admirer of a fine whiskey, my lady?”
“Well, I have taken the trouble to marry three times, and I like whiskey more than men.” Honoria winked at him.
The table erupted in laughter.
Alex called the butler. “Mr. Bates, will you bring a Scotch and an Irish to the parlor?”
Mr. Bates bowed and left through the servants’ door.
Jacques held Diana’s cha
ir as they all exited. He leaned in and whispered in her ear. “What about you, Diana? Do you enjoy a good whiskey?”
His breath on her skin sent a thrill of delight through her that settled low in her belly, and she longed for privacy. Wondering whether he would come to her after the others had gone to bed was a delicious morsel that she would savor. “I have never tasted whiskey.”
“Well then, you shall either love it or hate it, my sweet. Very few people are ambiguous about a fine whiskey.”
Turning put her only inches from his chest. She could lift on her toes and press a quick kiss on his lips. The dining room was empty save for them. The wicked thought simmered so violently, she followed through. His mouth was both soft and strong as he recovered from his shock and kissed her back.
His hand settled on her hip.
Having been a captive, she should have hated the possessive touch. Yet his touch was as welcome as coming home. She relaxed back on steady feet, but it took a moment for the world to stop spinning. “Do you love or hate whiskey, Jacques?”
Chest rising and falling quickly, he gave a fast glance around the empty room. “At the moment, I could completely forget what whiskey is and just remain drunk on you for a lifetime.”
She may have gone and fallen in love. It was foolish and she should regret it, but she couldn’t, not even for a second. “And normally?”
“Normally, I am a great admirer of a good whiskey.” His gaze drifted to her lips.
If she could will him to kiss her, she would.
Honoria called out from the parlor across the hall. “Diana, my dear. Where are you?”
Jacques smiled and dotted a quick kiss on her nose. “Shall we join the others?”
Her breath shuddered more than she would have liked. “I suppose we have little choice.”
He stared at her a long moment, his eyes holding a question he did not voice. Offering his arm, he said, “We had better go before I do something extremely foolish.”
The parlor, like the study, was very large and filled with books, though these were less diverse and leaned toward legal matters. Diana tried the Irish whiskey; it was sharp on her tongue and burned its way down her chest. She could see why some people didn’t care for the strong spirit, but she liked it. However, by the time she finished the small glass, the world seemed to tip in a silly way. “I think I shall retire for the evening. I will see you all in the morning.”
Honoria followed her out, and they climbed the stairs. “We must strengthen your constitution, Diana.”
“You may stay and enjoy the whiskey with the men.”
“My purpose is to keep you safe.” Honoria’s serious tone was out of character, but comforting.
“Thank you, my lady. You are too good to me.” Diana kissed Honoria’s cheek and stepped inside her room, where she collapsed on the bed.
At some point Cecilia came in and put her in her bedclothes, but it was a foggy memory.
Chapter 15
Jacques wanted to go to Diana during the night, but it had been obvious the whiskey had gone to her head, and he was not a man to take advantage. In the morning he’d searched the house for her, but not found her.
Panic had begun to set in when he spotted her walking in Mrs. Fallcraft’s garden. It was the place where they had always visited his father’s headmistress in the summers. This was the first time he’d ever stepped into the garden in winter.
Diana walked along the edge of the garden wrapped in brown fur and cutting a path through several inches of snow that had fallen overnight. The snow continued, and as long as it did, Alex was probably right about Diana being safe. Still, he worried about her being alone.
“Shall I join you or would you prefer privacy?” He kept his hands clasped at his back to avoid his need to reach out and touch her.
“You are most welcome.” A soft pink blush brightened her cheek.
“I know I have no right to dictate, but it would be better if you did not walk alone until all of this madness is in our past.”
“And you believe this will eventually be past?” She kept her hands inside the fur and her gaze ahead.
He didn’t like her avoiding his gaze, and stepped in front of her. “I do believe it.”
Cocking her head, she smiled and finally brought her gaze to his. “As you believe you will spend Christmas with your parents. To make that happen, you will have to be on your way very soon.”
“My parents will be disappointed, but I sent a note yesterday explaining that a dear friend was in need of my help. I told them I would come as soon as possible. They will understand.” Leaving Diana was not an option he would entertain, not while she was in danger, not ever.
“If you left today you could be with them on the holiday. They are probably missing you—and what of His Grace’s family? You should both be home. The Duke of Kerburghe is packing to leave today. You should go as well.” She put more distance between them and walked toward the fountain.
Reaching out, he held her arm. “Michael has many children, who need their father to be home for the holiday. Preston and I are not in that situation. His mother and Millie are in the country with my mother and father. They are all safe and happy. Our place is here with you until you are safe, and then Preston will go to his wife.”
Emotion raced across her face. “And you will go to your parents.”
“I will go wherever you are, Diana. I’ll not leave you.” It was time she knew how he felt.
Tugging her arm back, she bit her bottom lip. “I cannot be what you want.”
Lord, how he longed to nibble on that lip. “I want you just as you are.”
The rough scratch of her voice tightened with raw emotion. “In spite of all I’ve done and been through, I will never be a mistress to anyone. I may be alone in the world, but I feel my parents inside me watching.”
Shocked that she would think him such a rake, he released her arm. Had he been so vague in his desire that she would believe he only wanted a mistress? Jacques chased after her, past the fountain, toward the castle, and caught her near the small veranda. “Diana, stop.”
Obeying, but keeping her back toward him, she held her shoulders rigid.
“Please look at me.” His own heart raced as if he’d run miles rather than just across the tiny garden.
Diana turned with tears streaming down her face. “It occurred to me this morning that we had spoken twice about your desire not to marry. I wish I was more like the girl in the dining room last night or the one who asked to be held through the night. She was too bold and perhaps gave you the wrong impression. I don’t blame you. I’ve behaved like a woman of little morals. What else were you to think?”
Jacques didn’t know if he was angry, hurt, or stupid, but he could hear no more of this. “Stop talking, Diana.” He backed her up to a wall that separated the veranda from the garden. “I think and have thought nothing wanton about you. I love you, Diana MacLeod. You taking the kiss you wanted last night was one of the nicest moments of my life. Holding you while you sleep is my greatest honor and sweetest memory. I hope you will always take from me exactly what you need. You never have to ask me for my lips to kiss or my arms to hold you. I shall make love with you at even the hint of your desire. I long to bring you pleasures you cannot yet imagine, and I will do so as soon as you give permission. I could never and will never leave you, Diana. You are a part of my soul now, a deep imprint that can never be washed away. I am an ass to have led you to believe I would make you my mistress. You could never be my mistress, and I shall never have one. If you want me as I need you, I will take you across the border a few miles and marry you as soon as it is safe to do so.”
She swallowed and stared at him with wide, tearful eyes.
Unable to resist, he pressed his lips to her throat. “Tell me what you want from me, goddess.”
The snowstorm grew heavier,
a blanket of white all around them.
“I want you.” Barely audible, she said the words and buried her face in his chest.
Jacques slid his arms under her fur cloak and pulled her tight against him. His body tightened with desire. “Does that mean you will marry me, Diana?”
“If you still want me when this is all over, I will marry you, Jacques.” Her heart beat against his chest.
The moment when one world disintegrates and another is born is both beautiful and catastrophic. Jacques’s beliefs about what his life would be crashed down around his ears. A cacophony of wind, rustling trees and beating snow marked the moment, while peace, security and love settled in the spaces left empty for so many years. She hadn’t said she loved him, but Diana would not marry for any other reason. “You have made me very happy.”
She studied him. “You don’t look happy. You look a bit… I’m not really sure how to describe that look.” She ran her hand along the side of his face.
Leaning into her warm palm, he turned his head and kissed her bare wrist. “I probably look as surprised as I feel. It is a dream to imagine you beside me for a lifetime.”
Worry tugged at the corners of her mouth and dimmed the light in her eyes. “I hope you will not be disappointed.”
“Never.”
Impossibly, the snow came down even harder.
Diana made no move to seek shelter beyond his embrace, but he had to get her inside before they were found in spring by the garden wall. “Come, before we are frozen to death standing here.”
* * * *
Two days later the snow finally stopped, and the sun came out.
Sebastian rushed into the breakfast room winded and soaked. “Pardon my appearance.” He bowed to Diana and Honoria.
Standing, Alex tossed his napkin on the corner of the table. “What’s wrong? Did you find him?”
“No. Not yet, but William Farmer has been found.” Sebastian gave his coat to Mr. Bates, who handed the Horseman a towel and a hot beverage.
“Where, when?” Alex narrowed his eyes.
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