“What do you want to do?” Brad asks, looking at the map. “There’s Space Mountain, the Haunted Mansion, Pirates of the Caribbean—”
“Which one isn’t a roller coaster?” I ask. “I’d like to work up to that.”
“You’ve never been on one?” Liam asks.
“I have. It made me sick.” I don’t tell them it was also the moment Corey declared his love for me. I may have to avoid all roller coasters today. I do not need another reminder of him.
Garrett laughs. “Oh, shit. I’m not sitting next to you then.”
“Pirates of the Caribbean looks cool,” Liam says.
The sign says it’s a thirty-five-minute wait. “Get used to it,” Brad says. “It’s spring break, and the lines will only get worse throughout the day.”
We weave through the ropes, then enter a dungeon-like building. “At least they make the line interesting,” I say, glancing at all the Jack Sparrow stuff.
When it’s finally our turn, the four of us are seated in the back of a boat. “You’re not scared, are you?” Liam asks.
“It’s a kid’s ride,” I say. Five minutes later, I’m eating my words when the boat takes a short but steep plunge. I grab Liam’s arm hard. “Uh, sorry.”
It’s dark, but I see him smile.
Brad and Garrett take off to Thunder Mountain Railroad. Thankfully, Liam doesn’t press me into going. I’m not ready for a roller coaster yet. Instead, he has fun humiliating me by making me ride things like Dumbo, the teacups, and the carousel. I’m having fun, though.
We take a hundred stupid selfies. Even one in front of the castle. Bria texts all of us to meet up for lunch and then Garrett makes us go with them to the Buzz Lightyear ride. “You have to try it,” he says. “Brad and I have been on it three times already.”
“Buzz Lightyear?” Liam says. “Really?”
“Don’t give me that look,” Garrett says. “Just wait, you’ll get addicted to it, too.”
I lean close to Liam. “What do you think they’d say if I told them you rode Dumbo?”
He covers my mouth with his hand. I laugh and bite him playfully.
Once we’re on the ride, I get why the two of them liked it so much. It’s a target shooting game. I score 300,000, beating all of them. Brad and Garrett get right back in line.
“My feet hurt,” Bria says. “Can we sit for a while?”
Crew points up. “How about the people-mover thing. Seems like a good place to sit and relax.”
We go with them. It doesn’t take long to get on, and the four of us get our own car. Liam and I sit facing Crew and Bria. The elevated train takes us all over Tomorrowland, weaving in and out of the building that houses Space Mountain. I hear the screams of people riding the roller coaster.
“No way am I going on that one,” I say. “They can’t even see where they’re going.”
“There are lots of other things to do,” Liam says.
It’s completely dark, so I can’t tell if he’s upset about it or not. “Are you mad that I don’t want to go on roller coasters?”
“No.”
“You can go with the others, you know. You don’t have to babysit me.”
“I like hanging out with you, El. I don’t need to ride them.”
We emerge from a dark tunnel. Crew and Bria are making out. Bria pulls away. “Oops, sorry.”
Crew says, “I think I like this ride the best of all.”
I wonder if Liam wanted to kiss me in the dark tunnel. Or hold my hand or put his arm around me. Because it’s all I think about. And not just here on this train. It’s all I’ve thought about for days.
But he hasn’t touched me since. His words from that night keep echoing in my head. I can never have this. What did that mean? Whatever his father did to him made him feel like he could only date women like Ronni. But why?
After five more hours and nine rides—including four more times on Buzz Lightyear, because, come on, I had to defend my title—we’re in the van heading to our hotel.
“You’re all checked in,” Bruce says when we arrive, handing us our keycards. “Tom took your luggage up.”
I peek into the bar. Garrett is hitting on a pretty woman. “He doesn’t waste much time, does he?”
“Looks like he’ll be putting a sock on the door tonight,” Liam says.
“Where will that leave you?” I say, feeling guilty again. “You should stay in my room. It’s really yours anyway.”
“No.”
“Liam, we’re adults. There are two beds, or a bed and a couch. What’s the difference which room you sleep in? We should see if we can switch our room to one with two queen beds. You shouldn’t have to sleep on uncomfortable couches anymore.”
“Garrett and I switched to queens over a week ago. The couches were killing my back.”
“We’ll swap with him then. We have both keys; you can give him mine later.”
In the elevator, he eyes me speculatively. “Are you sure, El?”
“I’m sure. I feel bad I didn’t offer sooner. It’s not fair to Garrett.”
He hesitates. “I promise I won’t—”
“I know.” I exit the elevator. “Just make sure to put the toilet seat down so I don’t fall in at night.”
“I’ll do my best.”
We get to his and Garrett’s room first. “Perfect. Two queens.” I see my things on the floor and cock my head suspiciously. “Did you tell Tom to put my stuff in here?”
He laughs. “Did I tell him to put your suitcase in here with Garrett’s shit? No, El. He must’ve accidentally switched our bags and put mine in your room.”
My stomach growls loudly.
“You’re hungry.” He checks the time. “It’s getting late. We better hit the hotel restaurant before it closes. We can swap things around after dinner. Hey, which bed do you want?”
“The one farthest from the window. I hate morning light.”
“Fine by me,” he says, leading the way to the elevator. “I don’t sleep much anyway.”
“What do you mean, you don’t sleep?”
He touches a finger to his temple. “My mind is always full of shit.”
I smile. “Writing music in your sleep?”
He ignores my question, and I wonder if the shit his mind is filled with is that of monsters, not music.
Chapter Twenty-three
Liam
Crew, Bria, and Brad are sitting at a table in the corner of the restaurant, looking as tired as I feel. “Anyone see Garrett? I need to swap keys with him.”
“Maybe he’s still in the bar,” Ella says.
“We’ll check after dinner.”
Everyone orders something simple, burgers or salads. It’s been a long day.
“Where are we going to run tomorrow?” Ella asks while we eat. “There’s no beach nearby.”
“There’s a trail,” I tell her. “I asked the waiter when you went to wash up.”
She seems pleased. I’m getting into running, as she hoped I would. I’m keeping up with her for three miles. “There’s always treadmills,” she says. “I bet this place has a great fitness center.”
“Run inside? No way.”
She picks at her salad while I inhale my cheeseburger. “It gets super cold in New York in the winter,” she says. “What will you do then, or are you going to stop running when we get back?”
“That’s up to you.”
“Me?”
“Are you going to run with me when we get back?”
She smiles. Maybe she’s been wondering what will happen when the tour is over. I’ve been wondering the same thing. Will she still want to see me? After being with her every day for almost a month, I can’t imagine what it will be like going home and not having her with me.
Brad gets a call from Katie and waves goodbye, taking his food with him.
“I can’t believe the tour is more than half over,” Bria says. “This has been a lot more fun than touring with White Poison.”
Crew
leans in. “That’s because you’re touring with the right guy.”
“There’s never been anyone more right for me,” Bria says. She pulls out a notebook and jots something in it, then she shows Crew. He nods and writes something.
He looks at us. “We have to go.”
They leave their half-eaten food and go out to the lobby.
“What just happened?” Ella asks.
“They’re writing lyrics. It happens like that. You’ll get used to it.”
“They’re really good together, aren’t they?” she says. “They’re wonderful singers, but as a couple, I’ve never seen two people more dedicated to each other. They are lucky.”
I turn away, not wanting her to see how distant I become when talking about things I can never have. I push my plate aside. “I’m finished.”
“Was it something I said?”
“I’m tired, aren’t you? It’s almost midnight.”
“I guess we should find Garrett.”
Garrett’s not in the bar. I text him but get no response. “Let’s get my suitcase out of your room, and I’ll text him to pick up his stuff and the key when he gets done doing whatever he’s doing.”
Her cheeks flush. We both know exactly what Garrett’s doing.
In her room, I say, “Good thing we’re switching. There’s no couch in this one.” I pull the suitcase behind me as Ella follows me down the hall. I tap my keycard to the door and open it, letting Ella step through first. She stops abruptly, and I bump into her. We’ve walked in on Garrett and a woman. She’s naked and straddling him on one of the beds. They don’t even notice us. Ella backs up, pushing me out the door before shutting it gently. Her expression makes me double over, laughing.
“What?” she asks, mortified. “That was messed up.”
I catch my breath. “I don’t think I’ve ever seen anyone turn that shade of red before.”
“What are we going to do?”
“Sleep in your room, I guess.”
“But there’s only one bed.” She looks at the door, knowing there’s no way to retrieve her belongings. “And I don’t have my suitcase.”
“We’ll make do. Come on.”
Back in her room, she stares at the king-sized bed. “How is this going to work?”
I get an extra blanket from the closet and throw two pillows on the floor. “There. Easy peasy.”
“You’re not sleeping on the floor, Liam. If anyone should, it’s me. I’m not paying a single penny for this trip.”
“Because you’re my guest, and guests don’t sleep on the floor.”
She picks up the pillows and puts them back on the bed. “It’s a king. We’ll share it.”
I try not to smile. “You want me to build a barrier down the middle? Maybe something with a trip wire?”
“We’re adults, Liam. I think we can sleep in the same bed. Except …”
“What?”
She peers down at her clothes. “I’ve been wearing this all day. I can’t sleep in these.”
I put my suitcase on the dresser and open it. “Pick whatever you want. I’ll get your stuff first thing in the morning. Better yet, we’ll switch rooms, like the original plan.”
She peruses my clothes. I don’t miss how her hands linger on some of my favorite shirts. Does she like them as much as I do? She pulls one out and laughs. “I thought for sure you’d have thrown this away by now.”
It’s the shrimp shirt she made me wear in St. Augustine. I’ll never throw it out. I won’t ever wear it again, but it will always be in my closet.
“I’ll wear this one.” She pulls out a pair of my boxer briefs. “And these.”
She ducks into the bathroom. The shower turns on. I know she’s getting naked, and my dick gets hard. The thought of her in there has so many things going through my head. What makes me go flaccid is when I remember she knows about me. I might have been drunk the night I told her about my dad, but I remember the words. Surely she’s filled in the blanks. She’s knows I’m dirty. She knows I’m not boyfriend material. Hell, I’m barely fuck-buddy material. Unless that fuck buddy is Veronica Collins. But I don’t want Ronni. I never did. I wanted a release. Any time I’ve ever been with a woman, all I’ve wanted was a release.
It’s different with Ella. I crave more. The problem is, it’s something I know I can never have.
She comes to bed with damp hair. My T-shirt goes halfway down her thighs. I swallow hard. Not only will I never throw away that stupid shirt, I might sleep with it under my pillow.
“I’m going to shower, too. You can borrow my phone charger if you need to. It’s on the nightstand.”
“Thanks.”
I pause in the bathroom door. She gets on the bed and crawls over to my side for the charger. Her shirt rides up, and I glimpse my underwear. Holy shit. Does she have any idea how incredibly sexy that is?
She catches me ogling and instantly gets under the covers.
I take the fastest shower in history, not wanting her to think I’m in here whacking off even though I want to. Even though my balls are as blue as the sky at high noon. She’s wearing my fucking underwear.
Three minutes later, I cross to my suitcase wearing only a towel. She’s doing something on her phone. Her head stays down, but her eyes follow me like the eyes of a woman who wants a man. But how could she after what I told her? Even if she could get past my fucked-up life—I can’t.
I pull on sweatpants and brush my teeth, then get into bed, making sure to give Ella the vast majority of space. The last thing I want is for her to feel uncomfortable. A sick feeling washes over me. I switch off the light. “You know you don’t have to worry,” I say, hoping she understands my meaning.
“I know. I trust you, Liam.”
She taps on her phone a while longer, then puts it down and settles into her pillow. Her breathing becomes slow and steady. She’s falling asleep. I wonder if she knows how lucky she is that she can do it so quickly. Then again, we had a long day.
I’m too hot in the sweatpants, so I remove them, careful not to wake her. I’m glad I put on skivvies underneath. I’d hate for her to wake and find me naked in bed next to her.
Two hours later, I stare at the clock for the hundredth time, wishing I had a bottle of whiskey. Sometimes when I can’t sleep, I turn on the TV, but I don’t want to wake her. She makes a few noises and turns toward me. I can see her face by the light of the clock. For the next hour I watch her breathe. She’s so peaceful that it brings me joy and hurts at the same time. But the best part is that her peace somehow brings me some, and I drift off.
Hours later, I squint against the sun coming through the window and realize the hand on my chest isn’t my own. My heart beats rapidly. I’ve never allowed this before. I don’t move, and it dawns on me that it’s because I don’t want her to wake up and take her hand away.
She’s lying on her side, her hair covering her eyes, shielding it from the light. Her pillow is inches from mine. Her face is close, and I can feel the warmness of her breath. But her hand is the only part of her touching me.
I look at the clock, amazed I slept for six hours. I can’t remember a time I slept through the night when I wasn’t in some kind of liquor-induced coma. I love having her next to me.
I stare at her full lips and remember kissing her. I don’t kiss women. I’m twenty-four years old, and she’s the only one I’ve ever truly kissed. I tried a few times in college, but it was awkward and forced—me trying to prove something to myself. I don’t kiss women.
Her eyes open. It takes her a few seconds to remember why I’m in bed with her, then she pulls back, embarrassed. “Sorry, habit I guess.”
“Corey?”
“Not really. I’m a cuddler, but he never liked it. He said I was too restless, and he’s a light sleeper. I guess it’s why we never moved in together.” She laughs softly. “When I think back, there were so many signs that we shouldn’t have been together.”
“Then why stay with him?”
“I fell in love. That’s what you do, right? Fall in love, get married, have a few kids.”
“You want kids?”
“Sure. Doesn’t everyone?”
I stare blindly at the ceiling. “Some people shouldn’t have them.”
“God, Liam. I’m sorry.”
“You said kids, plural. You want a big family? Do you come from one?”
“It’s just me. I had a sister once. We were twins, but she died at birth. My mom thinks it’s why I’m such a cuddler, because I had nine months in the womb with my sister.”
“I’m sorry.”
“I don’t remember her obviously, but my whole life it’s felt like something was missing. How can I miss her when I didn’t even know her?”
I close my eyes and let my head sink into the pillow. “I miss my brother.”
“Is he back home?”
I shake my head.
She sighs. “Oh, no. How old were you when it happened?”
“Almost twelve. Luke was fifteen.”
“Twelve. Wow. It’s a tough age for any kid, let alone when you lose a brother.”
“You have no idea. It was all his fault.”
She touches my arm to comfort me, but I jerk away.
“Liam, you can talk to me.”
“No, I can’t.”
“I know what happened to you. At least I think I do.”
I sit up abruptly, and the sheet falls away, exposing the scars on my outer thigh. I cover up, but she sees them anyway. I turn away. “Then you know how truly fucked up I am.”
“If you really think that, you’ve let him win. He’s taken so much from you already. Don’t let him take your future.”
“I don’t even know what that means, El.”
“It means you can have anything you desire, Liam. A happy life. Love. If you want it.”
I crane my neck around and stare at her. “You don’t know what you’re saying.”
She puts a gentle hand on my back. I flinch, and she takes it away. “I know exactly what I’m saying. I want to know what you’re going to do about it.”
Chapter Twenty-four
Ella
Reckless Invitation (The Reckless Rockstar Series) Page 13