by Xana Jordan
“I’m not sure. Stacy hasn’t called me yet. She left later than she had planned this morning, and is probably busy being swept up by her aunt’s family. They love to talk, according to Stace. Why?” Cade asks as we go help his dad carry more ornament and decoration boxes into the house.
“I was just wondering what the doctor told her this morning. When I saw Blain at the grocery store a little while ago, he hadn’t heard from her at all. She wasn’t answering his calls or texts, just like last time.”
Cade places the box he is carrying on the floor next to the tree box, and stands up. “I’m sure it’s all fine. You know her mom and dad always have a ton of things going on over Thanksgiving. They’ve probably got her busy doing things for them, but I’ll ask Stace about it when she calls me tonight. Don’t worry, man. Now, let’s get this mess over with before Mom decides to have Dad put out more decorations for the yard.” He nudges my shoulder, and carries the next box into the living room, me following behind him.
It’s supper time when we get everything out and in its place at Cade’s house. His mother, Sharon, sends a few pies home with me so she won’t have to bring them over to our house tomorrow. Cade’s family, including Michelle, and my grandparents, who flew in on Monday and are staying until after Christmas, will be celebrating Thanksgiving together at our house. I may end up in a food coma before the day is over with the way Mom, Grandma, and Sharon cook. I secretly hope there are enough leftovers to take back to school with me.
After supper is over, Grandma and Mom stay in the kitchen to make sure they have everything ready and prepped for tomorrow, while the rest of us hang out in the living room. Dad and Granddad are going over their strategy for the Christmas decorations while I scroll through the channels, not really looking for anything in particular. My concentration isn’t really on television, or decorations.
Finally tired of flipping aimlessly and listening to Granddad talk about his golf game, I say goodnight to everyone and head upstairs to shower and go to bed. It’s been a long day, and I’m exhausted, but I just can’t seem to go to sleep. Lying on my bed, staring at the ceiling, I finally give up and text Xana.
ME: Hey, Sweetness.
I wait for a long time, and as I’m just about to give up and go to sleep, Xana texts me back.
SWEETNESS: Hey.
ME: How are you? Have a good day?
There is a little pause before she responds.
SWEETNESS: Mom kept me busy. I’m ready for bed.
ME: I bet she did. You wanna talk?
I stare at my phone, begging it to chime with a response from Xana. Please. Talk to me, Sweetness. Please.
Just when I’m about to give up, my phone rings. Xana.
“Hey, Sweetness. I’m glad you called,” I greet her, and slowly let out a sigh of relief. Relief that she called, and relief that she’s talking to me.
“Hey, Noe,” she says quietly into the phone. She’s used the nickname she gave me in high school.
“What’s wrong, baby? Talk to me.”
“I’m fine. Nothing’s wrong.”
“Xan. What did he say? I can hear something is wrong, so just tell me. I’m here,” I encourage her, begging her to talk to me.
“He said,” she sniffles and her voice becomes shaky. “That I have what they call polycystic ovarian syndrome,” she says, and I can hear how upset she really is.
“I’m coming over, okay? It’s not late, so please don’t argue,” I warn her. Surprisingly, she doesn’t protest at all.
“Okay,” she says quietly, and hangs up.
Xana is waiting on the front porch when I get to her house. She’s dressed in sweatpants and the same purple Wildcat hoodie she used to wear when she watched me in pre-season baseball practice. Standing there under the porch light, she’s even more beautiful than I remembered.
As I exit the car, Xana begins walking toward the me, so I open the door for her. When she reaches the car, I open my arms and she wraps me in a hug so tight I don’t think she’ll ever let me go.
“Hey, Sweetness,” I whisper, and place a kiss on top of her head. She raises her head from my chest to look up at me, tears forming at the corners of her eyes.
“Let’s go,” I tell her, then place another kiss on her cheek, and help her into the car then do the same.
Reaching over the console, I take her hand in mine and give it a gentle squeeze. She looks over at me, her face glowing under the street lights, and squeezes my hand in return. She continues to keep a firm grip, and I notice I’m rubbing my thumb across the back of hers.
It’s quiet as we leave her neighborhood. Some houses have already put up their Christmas lights. It’s only ten o’clock, so there are still people out and about. No words are needed between us as we continue to drive.
Reaching the ball field parking lot, Xana looks over at me. “Our place,” she whispers.
I nod at her and park the car. We both get out, and I reach into the backseat to grab the blanket and thermos Grandma sent for her. She’s always had a sweet spot for Xana, even though they’ve only met a few times.
We walk over to the dugout and get settled. We sit on the bench, and I wrap the blanket around us, my arm holding her waist underneath it.
“What’s that you’ve got there?” Xana asks as she nods toward the thermos in my lap.
“Gran sent you a little something.” I remove the cap and unscrew the lid. Pouring a cup full, I give it to her.
Xana takes a deep breath, inhaling the hot chocolate steam. “Mmm,” she murmurs, her eyes closed. “How did you know?”
“Never forgot a thing about you. I still know you,” I tell her and run my nose along her cheek. I can feel a tear fall from her eye, and I kiss it away.
“Tell me what he said, Xana,” I whisper in her ear. “I’ve got you.”
“Polycystic Ovarian Syndrome,” she tells me. I looked it up while Grams was making the hot chocolate, so I have a decent idea of what she’s talking about.
“The cysts that ruptured were pretty large and did a little damage to my ovaries. It’s also why my periods have been so messed up that I have to take the pill to help them.” Xana takes a sip of the hot chocolate and stares at the cup. I wait for her to continue, knowing that whatever it is has her pretty upset.
I pull her a little closer to me and she continues, “He said that it should be a lot more difficult for me to get pregnant than normal.” Xana takes a deep breath, and leans her head on my shoulder. “I’ve never really thought about having children. I just figured I’d have them one day, but I’ve never been one to dream about it. But knowing that I might not ever get that chance, even if I wanted to…”
I set the thermos down on the bench beside me, and run my free hand over her hair. I can feel the tears on her cheek as I smooth the hair away from her face. “Shhh. Let it all out, baby. Let it all out.” I take the cup from her hand, place it beside the thermos, and hold her tightly.
Xana grabs my shirt in her hands, and starts to sob into my chest. I run my hand over her hair, and hold her tightly. “That’s it, Sweetness. Let it all out on me,” I tell her in a low, hushed voice. I can’t imagine how hard this is for her to deal with. But, regardless of what she thinks right now, we’ll get through this together.
Thanksgiving break came and went very fast, but it was a nice break from school. Talking to Noel about the results was such a relief for me. He always knows when to say something, or when to just let me talk. It meant so much to me that he came over and took me out of the house to discuss everything. I was tired of pretending things were fine, and I was fortunate to have avoided Stacy and Blain’s questions, for the most part. I know they meant well, but I just wasn’t ready to talk about it with them.
Since I’ve gotten back to school, I’ve practically locked myself in my room and smothered my brain with studying. Hopefully, it will pay off when I take my finals next week. Sometimes I feel like my brain is about to start bleeding, but I just keep on studying. Noel, Cade,
and Stacy have tried to get me out of my room once in awhile, and most of the time I’m able to talk my way out of it. Studying gives me focus, and that’s what I need right now. I need to stay distracted.
I have a little over a week left before finals, and I can’t wait to get them over with. I’ve gotten my schedule for next semester figured out with my advisor. This semester isn’t over yet, and I’m already dreading the next one. How in the world am I going to get through it?
I’m interrupted from reading my Microeconomics chapters, when Stacy brings Cade and Noel into the room. I thought they were going to watch movies over at the guys’ dorm, and I had planned to use that time to study more. It looks like plans have changed.
“Hey, Sweets! Put those books away, ‘cause we’re watching movies!” Stacy walks over and closes my textbook. I glare at her as she and Cade breeze over to the counter where the television is. I really don’t feel like being around people. I need to study.
Noel walks over to my bed and stands in front of me. Smiling, he leans over and takes the books from me and places them on my desk before returning to the side of my bed. He kicks his shoes off, and motions for me to scoot over so he can sit with me. Knowing not to argue, I scoot over a little and Noel sits down, his back against the headboard. He wraps an arm around my shoulders and I have no choice but to move closer to him. Oh, coconuts does he smell good.
Cade sets the movie up in the DVD player then cuddles up with Stacy on her bed. Stacy has turned the lights off, leaving only the light over the sink area on. It’s cold and rainy outside, and I admit it’s perfect weather for movie watching. The three of them have picked out a few superhero movies, one of them being Thor. I have a feeling that one was picked just for me. They really must want me to stop studying.
Halfway through the movie I find myself laying on on my side against Noel, my head lying on his lap. Cade and Noel were discussing something about the movie, but I’m feeling so tired that I just give up and fall asleep.
I am woken up from my nap by Noel shaking me. One hand is moving the hair out of my face, and the other is shaking my back. “Xana, wake up. Your phone is ringing.”
I sit up and rub the sleep from my eyes as Stacy hands me the phone from my desk. Not looking at the caller ID, I answer. “Hello,” I say, my voice scratchy and unsteady.
“Hey, baby. I’m in the lobby. Come check me in.” It’s Jeff. Jeff is in the lobby. Still not quite fully awake, I need to make sure I’m not imagining it.
“Jeff? You’re here at school,” I ask him, making Noel look at me questioningly. I avoid his gaze and stand up from the bed.
“Of course, I’m here. Were you expecting someone else, Alexandra? You have another boyfriend that comes to see you?” He is pissed, but I don’t understand why.
Hastily, I try to smooth things over and apologize. “No! No, that’s not what I meant, Jeff. I fell asleep watching a movie, and I wasn’t completely awake when I answered. I’m sorry I upset you. I didn’t know you were coming today.” I start looking for my ID so I can go check him in.
“Just come check me in,” he demands before hanging up on me. I shouldn’t have questioned him like that. Note to self: Always check the caller ID, and always answer after you’re fully awake. I hang up the phone, throw on some flip flops, and rush out of the room, ignoring Stacy’s aggravated looks.
Hurrying to the lobby, I can only hope Jeff has had time to calm down before I get there. It’s been so long since I’ve seen him, that I am not quite sure all of this isn’t a dream. Reaching the end of the hallway, I turn the corner and smile at Jeff, standing by the check-in counter. The smile on my face falls, and I become very nervous when I see the angry expression dominating his face. Oh, crap. I didn’t think about how I looked before I ran out of my room. How am I going to talk my way out of this?
As I reach him at the desk, I hand my ID over to the resident assistant checking people in and out. She takes both of our ID’s, looks at them, then motions for us to sign the guest ledger as she places his in the right box. We sign in, then I take mine back.
Jeff then takes my hand, and practically drags me to my room, never saying a word to me. This isn’t going to be good.
“I’m really glad you came to see me, Jeff. It’s a wonderful surprise,” I tell him, hoping he’ll see how much his being here means to me. However, Jeff only looks me over and frowns before looking forward again. His hand squeezes mine, and doesn’t let up.
When we reach my door, Jeff throws the door open, and pushes me inside. I stumble and nearly fall, when Noel catches me, which catches Jeff’s attention. I can see the anger flash in his eyes, before he laughs and says, “Slow down, Alexandra. I’m not in a hurry.” His voice is laced with irritation, even though he’s trying his best to pretend I’m just clumsy.
I can feel my face turn red and I avoid everyone’s gaze, laughing at myself. “Gah, I really am a klutz sometimes.”
“Hey, Jeff. We didn’t know you were coming today.” Stacy walks over and hugs him.
“Yeah, man. We haven’t seen you in a while. It’s been too long. That restaurant must have you chained to the office,” Cade jokes as he shakes Jeff’s hand. I can’t believe Stacy hasn’t called him out on it. She’s usually never this...friendly.
“Yeah, work’s been crazy, but Dad insisted I take the day off to come see Alexandra, so here I am.” Jeff smiles the smile that always charms everyone. He’s really handsome when he smiles like that. His dark brown eyes and dark brown hair frame his face.
I move to stand beside him when Noel speaks. “So, Jeff, what are you two going to do while you’re here?” Noel leans against Stacy’s desk, his eyes never leaving Jeff.
“A bunch of the frat brothers are having a party, so we’re going over there,” Jeff informs them. Jeff looks down at me and says, “Go change and fix your hair. We need to leave in thirty minutes.” I quickly nod my head, begin to gather the things I need, and turn on my flat iron before leaving for the bathroom.
Xana leaves the room so fast, you would think she was on fire. Noel sits down in my desk chair while Cade and I sit on my bed, leaving Jeff to look around for the remote. When he finds it, he makes himself comfortable on Xana’s bed, and begins flipping through the channels, looking for something to watch.
“How are you enjoying being graduated and done with school?” Cade asks Jeff. Distractedly, Jeff looks our way.
“Oh, it’s pretty amazing. Not having a schedule to follow. Being able to come and go as I please,” he says before looking down at his cell phone. He types something and places it back on the bed.
“It’s really nice to be my own boss.” Jeff looks down at his phone, and picks it back up, quickly typing a response to someone. Who is he talking to?
I can see Noel’s jaw and fists clenching as he tries to remain calm. “What kind of restaurant does your family own, Jeff?” Why Noel asks, I’m not sure. He already knows the answer.
“We run a steakhouse in Texarkana, on the Arkansas side,” Jeff says, paying more attention to his phone than the expression on Noel’s face.
“You still drive that red Camaro, man?” Cade asks him. “That was a nice car.” Cade gives Noel a slight nod, one I almost don’t notice.
“Nah, “ he tells Cade and puts his phone down on the bed again. “I traded that old thing in and bought a better car.”
“What kind?” Noel asks him.
“I got a nice, red 2015 Lexus RC.” Jeff looks at his phone, yet again, types another message, and puts his phone away when Xana enters the room. Before she has a chance to shut the door completely, Jeff’s attention focuses on her.
“You forgot to fix your hair, Alexandra,” Jeff reminds her, his voice rather sharp. It’s all I can do to keep my mouth shut, even with Cade’s hand on my leg to hold me down.
“No, I’m just about to fix it. It won’t take me too long,” Xana explains as she hurriedly begins to straighten her hair.
Noel’s face turns red and his jaw drops
as he watches Xana begin straightening her hair. He quickly stands up from my desk chair, and looks at me and Cade, his face one of barely controlled fury. This could be really bad.
“Stace, could you check me out? I need to go back to my room and work on a paper.” Noel’s voice is calmer than I expected.
“Sure,” I tell him and look to Cade. Patting him on the leg, I say, “I’ll be right back, okay, Hot Stuff?”
“Okay,” he says. Leaning forward to kiss my cheek, he whispers, “I’ll watch the douche. Get Noel out of here so he can calm down.”
Noel and Cade pass some silent agreement between them, they nod to each other, and Noel walks to the door, me following behind him. He quickly slips on his shoes, and leaves the room.
As soon as we are far enough away from my room, Noel grabs my arm and drags me into the empty community lounge.
“WHAT THE EVER-LOVING HELL, STACE? Does he always talk to her like that? Is he the reason she started straightening her hair, and stays away from everyone? You saw him throw her into the room, right? SHIT!”
Noel begins to pace the floor and pull on his hair with both hands. He looks like he could kill and cry all at the same time. I wait a minute before I answer, in case he starts ranting again.
“He wasn’t like that in the beginning. He was good to her. I’m not exactly sure when it started to change, or even why. I have to admit that even I didn’t know it was this bad. I’m not sure about her hair, either, but I think he is the reason.” I uncross my arms and grab onto his arm, in order to stop his pacing.
“How did I not see this before?” I’m not sure if he’s asking me or himself this question. I have to wonder the same thing about myself.
“You know how good she is at keeping things to herself. And he really hasn’t been around us this semester. Cade and I are usually gone on the rare occasions when he’s been here.”