Broken Pieces (Leaving You, Finding Them Book 1)

by Tammi Lynn

  Contents

  Copyright

  Dedications

  Acknowledgements

  Description

  Chapter One

  Chapter Two

  Chapter Three

  Chapter Four

  Chapter Five

  Chapter Six

  Chapter Seven

  Chapter Eight

  Chapter Nine

  Chapter Ten

  Chapter Eleven

  Chapter Twelve

  Chapter Thirteen

  Chapter Fourteen

  Chapter Fifteen

  Chapter Sixteen

  Chapter Seventeen

  Chapter Eighteen

  Chapter Nineteen

  Epilogue

  Tammi Lynn

  Copyright

  Copyright © Tammi Lynn, 2019. All rights reserved.

  No portion of this book may be reproduced in any form without permission from the publisher, except as permitted by U.S. copyright law. This book is a work of fiction and any resemblance to persons, living or dead, or places, events or locales is purely coincidental. The characters are products of the author’s imagination and used fictitiously.

  Dedications

  To my baby boy Evan Anthony, you are my world, my heart, my whole entire life. Having you saved me from going down a long and dangerous road.

  You will always come first. I love you Bubbs.

  Acknowledgements

  To my mom Marilyn. For listening to me a few months ago telling you about a story I wanted to write. Even all the down and dirties, and being the amazing mom you are you went and grabbed me a huge thick notebook and said, “Here, write it all down.” Three months later and I have my first ever book. Thank you for believing in me and loving me, and for never judging me even with all I have put you through. You are an amazing woman, with so much love in your heart.

  To Evangelina and Sonya. First off…”What!” and “Taaaammmmi!” I love you guys! You are the best friends and chosen sisters I could ever have and your the best Tia’s to Evan. Thank you by helping to make this book possible. For keeping me excited and wanting to read more. For believing in me.

  To Nichoal Snively-Dickey. My BBFF (Best Book Friend Forever) I’m so glad we became friends through our favorite facebook groups and have a love for the same books. This book literally would not have been finished without you. Thank you for being my book taste tester and letting me feed you chapter at a time. Your reviews and enthusiasm kept me going and inspired so much of the story, I could literally stare at a title chapter for an hour. Talk with you for five minutes and have to get back to the computer. Thank You.

  To M. Sinclair. I can’t even begin to know how to tell you thank you enough for taking me under your wing. I was excited but lost and you did what a lot of other people wouldn’t have done, in guiding the way. To staying up late with me to get it finished and become a reality to the publishing world, to reading my damn mind. Seriously though you also helped in bringing these characters to life. You are an amazing author and I look up to you and everything you can teach me.

  I can’t forget to thank some of my other favorite authors. You helped me become comfortable in a world I had felt alone in. Getting to live through the worlds you weaved were inspirational and made me okay with what I felt inspired to write. C.M. Stunich, Tate James, Meagan Brandy, Raven Kennedy, Coralee June, Jaymin Eve, and lots, lots more, Thank You!

  Description

  Contemporary RH

  Mia is a single mom from Arizona who has been stuck in an on again off again relationship for the past fourteen years. Knowing she has to get away from her ex Andreas(Dre) to fully be free of him, she packs up their thirteen year old son and moves states away to Sammamish, Washington.

  Her intent to start a new life and better things for her and her son Miklo are the first things on her mind. But when they arrive at their new home to be greeted by four hot new neighbors? She can only hope for it to be a good sign that she is on the right track. Or it will at least make things a lot more fun!

  Can Mia mend the broken pieces of her heart, or will Dre continue to hold onto it? And what role will her new neighbors Jayson, Roman, Jesse, and Cade play in her new start?

  Broken Pieces is book one in the Leaving You, Finding Them series. It’s a fast burn contemporary RH with possible triggers of emotional abuse, swearing, and adult content 18+ appropriate. Book one will have a small cliffhanger to bring on the progression of the story.

  Chapter One

  Leaving You

  “Come on, Miklo, sing with me. This is one of your favorite songs!” I look over at my thirteen-year-old son in the passenger seat next to me, He looks at me and rolls his eyes, turning to stare out the window. I didn’t think my rendition of Bruno Mars, Treasure was that bad, and I’ve done just about everything I can in the confined space of the truck to get him to smile. He’s mad at me, and I understand. Uprooting him from Phoenix, Arizona to move states away to Sammamish, Washington was not in his list of things he wanted to do.

  We had to leave, though, I needed a chance to start new. A chance to change my life for the first time in fourteen years. At nineteen, I’d met Andreas Davila, and I would have never guessed that a single party, a chance meeting, would have led to him being such a massive part of my life. I couldn’t regret it even if I wanted to. Nine months after that night, we were gifted Miklo, my world, and reason for living. The problem? I fell hard, and he did not. We barely saw him for the first three years of Miklo’s life. Some point after that, he started coming around more, wanting to see the baby… and me. Falling in love with a man, you barely saw or talked to, who is by definition a player, is one of the hardest things my traitorous heart has ever put me through. Dre didn’t have time or a place for me in his life, but it took time to realize that. It took time to realize that amongst his multiple girlfriends and three other children, that I wasn’t a priority.

  Every time we were together, it seemed perfect, hugs and kisses while telling me I’m beautiful no matter how I was looking at the time. That beautiful smile on his stunning Puerto Rican face had me melting and forgetting about everything else that was keeping us apart. It got to a point after about five years that I finally told him I loved him. A big step for me. He didn’t say it back at the time but did soon after when we started drifting away again, pulling me back in, keeping me close.

  This cycle seemed to be never-ending.

  Fourteen years of heartbreak, and I knew I had to leave. I had to get far away. I couldn’t keep watching the man I knew and loved, move on to marry someone else while trying to keep me tied to him. In all those years, even with multiple moves, I was never more than three hours away from him. A days drive at most to and from. Too close to stay away and not close enough for him to always be around. Yet every time we would be on the outs, and I’d take Miklo to see him, he’d somehow pull me back in. His actions brought me to lows that I couldn’t have imagined were possible. Depression and anxiety led to disastrous effects all because of the connection and love I developed for him. He gave me whiplash and the consequences of his treatment weren’t going away anytime soon. Do you know what it’s like to have a man tell you he loves you and wants you... only to accuse you of shit you never did? Ignoring you because he could? Making you feel as though you’d never be enough? It wreaked havoc on a person.

  I decided to give up on making my baby boy smile for now. I hear a text come through and decide to pull into the closest gas station since we need to fill up anyway so that I can check it.

  Baby Daddy: Shawn Mendez, Stitches.

  It’s a YouTube video link, and that doesn’t surprise me
, we’ve always loved and fought through music. We would send each other music videos or clips to express how we’re feeling.

  Miklo gets out of the truck with me and looks at me, “Mom, money please to get a drink?”

  “Yeah, Bubbs.” I take ten outta my wallet and hand it to him. “Get me something too please.”

  Watching him walk into the station, I try to keep the tears from falling. This has been one of the hardest things I’ve ever had to do. Leaving when my heart wanted to stay. But I needed to be strong for not only myself but for my son as well. He’s had to watch me go through those emotional ups and downs, loving and hating his semi-absent father. He watched me reach rock bottom. I’m determined to never reach that point again, and this was the only way I feel I could completely take myself out of Dre’s clutches. To go on with my life and hopefully find someone who loves me without caution and with their full selves, someone who makes me feel as if I’m enough. Who makes me feel as though I deserve the love I logically know I do.

  Grabbing my phone while the gas is pumping, I send him a text back.

  Me: Jussie Smollett, Good Enough.

  An unbidden tear decides to fall, and I start thinking back to one of the good times with him. The times when he made my heart feel full, and like we might actually be able to be together.

  Two years, three months ago…

  I’m in my bedroom watching Netflix when I hear a knock on the door, and Miklo goes to answer it. “Mom! Dad is here!” I head out to the living room and see Dre there with one of his big panty-melting smiles. His long curly hair is down, and I love it when he wears it so messy. Half running to him, he grabs me up in a hug my legs coming up to wrap around his waist, and he spins me.

  “Happy Birthday Baby!” he says, giving me a quick kiss on the lips. I didn’t even think he remembered. I hadn’t gotten a call or text from him in over a month, so this sudden appearance had my heart wanting to burst.

  “Thank you.” I kiss him back as he lets me down, his arm staying around my waist, keeping me close.

  “What are you doing here? Not that I’m not glad you are.” I can feel my smile reaching from ear to ear. My love is here.

  “I came to celebrate my girl’s birthday with her.” Not wanting to ruin the moment, I decide not to mention the fact that he calls more than one woman, his girl. Instead, I hug him.

  Bringing up the hand that isn’t wrapped around me, he hands me a cupcake I hadn’t noticed him holding before. “Time to make a wish beautiful.” I take it from him, and he pulls a lighter out of his pocket to light the single purple candle sticking out of the top. I close my eyes and wish for the one thing I would love at this moment. I wished Dre was mine... that we could always be together.

  After spending some time in the living room with Miklo, we headed into my bedroom and lay on the bed. Dre grabs the tv remote and puts on one of our favorite movies, Bonnie and Clyde. We once watched it together over the phone, him at his house and me at mine. It had made me feel close even though we had been an hour apart at the time.

  Grabbing my waist and pulling me closer to him, I snuggle into his chest, wanting him to never let me go. I wanted to savor it while I could because I was waiting for him to tell me he has to go. He never stays long.

  “I love you, Babygirl.” He whispers into my hair, and my heart starts to pound with all the extra attention and affection.

  “I love you too. Do you have to leave soon?”

  “Nope, I’m here to stay the night with you.” He never stays the night, and I try to contain myself and not act too insanely excited about it. I lose to the excitement and with a very girly squeal, jump up and on him to straddle his waist. Leaning down, I smother his face in kisses, till with a laugh he grabs me and flips us over, my back now to the bed and him above me. “Your mine, always.”

  “What about Lisa?” Not wanting to bring her name into the conversation I still need to know.

  “What about her? I don’t even want to be with her and plan on letting her know this week. You’re all I want Baby.” I can’t believe he’s saying this, but I want to believe that his words are true and I want to forget the past of broken promises threatening to take this moment away. I decide not to let them and just stay in the here and now in the love of my life’s arms.

  We had a fantastic night, one I will never forget ending with kisses, and I love you’s. After he had left, I walked back into my room, lying on the bed and kept replaying the events from the night before in my head. After he’d been gone for about half an hour, I had received a text.

  Baby Daddy: Lips Of An Angel, Hinder.

  I try not to pull all of the meanings out of the song he chose. The lyrics about it being hard to stay faithful, trying to worm their way in my head. I shake my head. I was not going to think like that. I sent him a text back.

  Me: Meghan Trainor and John Legend, Like I’m Gonna Lose You.

  I shake the memory as Miklo starts walking out of the gas station back to the vehicle. I wipe at the tears that escaped not wanting him to see them, and pull the pump out of the truck to place it back where it goes and get in the car.

  Miklo hands me a polar pop cup, before buckling in. “Thank you, Bubbs.”

  “Yup.” Putting his earbuds in his ears he starts up some music and begins texting someone on his phone.

  It hurts that he’s hurting so much right now. I wish there would have been an easier way to do this without having to uproot him from everyone and everything he knows. This was a last resort, I’ve failed too many times before, and need to be able to let Dre go. To find a new life, a new love, someone who thinks I’m enough. I need to be able to find myself again, retrieve the pieces of myself I lost in the years I gave them to someone who didn’t care to keep them.

  Pulling out of the gas station, I head back to the highway and our journey. We have about six hours left to drive before we reach our new house and a fresh start. My mind begins to wander as I drive, and I’m taken back to the day that brought me to my rock bottom.

  Two years ago...

  I’m on the phone with Dre, and we have been talking about Miklo going and staying the weekend with him when he all of a sudden gets quiet on the other side of the line. “What’s up? You got quiet on me.” I start to get a sinking feeling in my stomach.

  He sighs. “Baby, I asked Lisa to marry me, we’re going to get married in four months.” My heart feels like it’s dropped out of my chest. What did he just say? And how can he say it while calling me Baby in the same sentence?

  “Wait. What? But you just told me a few months ago that you were going to leave her? That all you wanted was me, that I was yours.” Tears immediately start pouring down my face. Miklo looks over at me with concern on his face from the other end of the couch we’re sitting on. Not wanting him to see me cry, I get up and head to my room, close the door and sit on the edge of the bed.

  “You are mine Baby, but I need to marry one of my kids’ moms, and she has my two youngest. We already put down a deposit on a new house, we move in a month before the wedding.”

  I slip from the edge of the bed down to the floor, my back resting against it, my body feeling as if it’s starting to go numb. “I can’t believe you’re saying any of this Andreas. I would have married you. I love you. I want to be with you.”

  “Nothings going to change, we can still keep being as we’ve always been. I love you too, but I’m sorry I’m going to marry her.”

  I try not to choke on my sobs, the tears now dripping in earnest down my chin. “Like we’ve always been? You mean with us never getting to see you, and when we do it’s for a short amount of time, with you usually having to sneak over? That’s not enough Dre. I need you, I want you, and I don’t want to be the other girl. Why can’t I be enough for you?”

  “Baby, don’t cry. I do love you.”

  “But not enough, never enough to actually want to keep me.”

  “Stop saying that. You always say that.”

  “And your act
ions always make it true.”

  I can almost hear the shift in his demeanor over the phone, and I just know the situation is about to be turned and he doesn’t fail to disappoint. “Whatever Mia, you probably have another guy over there right now. Whose voice did I hear earlier huh? Who’s over there?”

  “No ones over here, I never have anyone over. You heard the tv, me and Miklo were watching a movie.

  “Yeah, right. Watching a movie with Miklo. You’ve probably been holed up in your room screwing this other guy while our son is in the other room.”

  “Stop it, Dre! That’s not true. No one is over here.”

  “You probably always have guys over when I’m not around, drinking and hanging out, fucking them.” He always does this, always starts accusing me of things I don’t do. Turning the situation around and making it as if I’m the one creating the problems between us.

  “Dre, you know that’s not true, why would you even say that? You know you’re the only one I want.”

  “What about that guy last year, huh? The one you had told me about.”

  “That was a long time ago, a one night stand, and we hadn’t talked in six months. You had just had the new baby with Lisa.”

  “Doesn’t mean there haven’t been more guys since him. I’ve seen guys flirt with you Ma, I bet you’re all over them right back when I’m not around to see. So who’s over there now? What’s his name?”

  “There’s no one here, stop it, please.” I can feel anxiety, making my chest feel as though it is going to collapse.

  “What’s his name? Is he right beside you now with his hands all over you?”

  “Please stop.” I let the phone fall to the floor no longer able to listen to him accuse me of things I’m not doing. What right does he even have to blame when he is the one who always has someone else, who just told me he was going to marry someone else? I curl into a ball on the floor, continuing to cry and am barely able to hear his continued rants through the phone from where it fell. After a while the phone goes quiet, he must have realized I was no longer on it, and a text comes through.