Petra shook her head. “I might be drunk when you get home later,” she said. “Full disclosure.”
I smiled at her. “Are you gonna be okay?”
She nodded. “Of course,” she said. “We’re still on for dinner?”
“If you’re not too wasted,” I quipped, and Petra snorted.
Walking to campus by myself felt surprisingly lonely, but I hustled as quickly as I could without breaking a sweat. By the time I got to class, everyone else was there but I wasn’t quite late. Just as I slid into my seat, Professor Marks came striding in. He looked gorgeous in a tailored blazer, dark shirt, and slacks, and my mouth went dry when our eyes met.
The hot, intense memory of our kiss flooded my mind and I bit my lip and looked out the window so I wouldn’t blush beet red.
“Now,” Professor Marks began, and already my mind was wandering away from the subject matter and onto his gorgeous body. “Let’s begin our discussion of Mrs. Dalloway.”
I did my best to pay attention, but it was all too much – thinking about Petra and the boy drama that she was dealing with. Thinking about Professor Marks and the predicament that we were in.
Even thinking about my tech core seminar, and how I was supposed to manage turning my grade around.
“Eden?”
My head snapped up and I realized that Professor Marks – and everyone else in class – was staring at me.
I flushed. “Sorry,” I said. “What was that?”
Professor Marks sighed, looking deeply disappointed and I squirmed in my chair.
“Nevermind,” he said icily, then turned to the girl who had flirted so brazenly with him the week prior. As soon as he asked her a question about Mrs. Dalloway, my attention began to wander again.
When class was over, I walked out of the room with the others. As I was nearly in the hall, I heard Professor Marks clear his throat.
“Eden,” he said quietly. “Would you mind staying behind a minute?”
Furiously gnawing on my lower lip, I turned around and blinked at him.
“Yes,” I said. “I mean, no – I wouldn’t mind at all.”
Professor Marks gave me an odd look, and I swallowed hard as I walked back into the classroom and took a seat in front of his desk.
“Is everything okay?”
“Sorry?” I asked. “Um, with what?”
“With you,” he said. “You’re normally very good at contributing to our discussions in class, and today I sensed that something was on your mind.”
I took a deep breath and got to my feet. “I’m fine,” I lied. “I just ...”
“You just what?” Professor Marks asked. He walked closer to me, until we were standing mere inches apart from one another. “What is it, Eden?”
The way he said my name sent a ripple of desire through my body.
“Nothing,” I said. “I just have a lot on my mind, that’s all.” And I want a hug, I thought impulsively.
It wasn’t like I could say that, though – it would be incredibly inappropriate.
Professor Marks, however, didn’t move away and I inhaled deeply enough to smell his cologne. The woodsy, masculine scent made me instantly calmer and I blushed happily. Without even thinking about what I was doing, I leaned into his body, leaned against him, until he wrapped an arm around me and held me tightly.
I burrowed in closer, burying my face in his neck and sighing softly as his grip on me tightened. The steamy memory of our kiss came flying back in full technicolor and I had to bite the inside of my mouth to keep from moaning – that was how badly I wanted him in that moment. I felt excited and nervous and guilty and aroused, all at once, and I could tell that Professor Marks did, too.
The sound of footsteps in the hall made me leap backwards, as if my skin was scalding hot just from touching him. The brief contact between us had been enough to make me feel better and my heart was thudding.
I wanted more, damnit, and I wasn’t going to be happy until I got it.
“Thanks,” I said softly. It was terribly inadequate, but it was all I could do – and then I darted out of the classroom before Professor Marks could reply.
Outside, despite the sun beating down, it was freezing cold and I shivered, shoving my hands in my pockets and wishing that I’d brought my gloves or even my go-cup for a hot coffee from the student union. I stared at the science building across campus, knowing that I should go, but I couldn’t make myself do it.
If I didn’t go to my tech core seminar, my grade would be in serious trouble.
I knew that, deeply.
But my body seemed to feel otherwise. My stomach was doing nervous flips inside of my body and my heart was thudding. There was no way in hell that I’d be able to go to my tech class and sit down like a normal person. I’d no doubt be twitching and vibrating the whole time, high on my contact with Professor Marks.
Next week, I told myself as I strode off-campus in the direction of my apartment. Next week, I’ll go and pay attention and everything will be fine – I’ll even get an A, I bet I can still pull that off at this point.
At home, Petra was curled up on the couch in boxer shorts and a t-shirt. She lifted her head when I opened the door and blinked sleepily in my direction.
“Hey,” she said. “How’d it go?”
I shrugged. “Fine,” I lied. “Feeling any better?”
Petra sat up and stretched, then rubbed her eyes with both hands. She checked her watch and frowned at it, then turned up at me and smirked.
“Did you skip your class for me?” She teased.
“Uh huh,” I lied again, hating myself for doing it.
“Look at you, Miss Rebellious,” Petra said in the same teasing voice. “Hey, I was thinking – let’s not go to campus for dinner tonight. Let’s do something else.”
“Like what?” I asked her.
“Well, you never told me about that brewpub where you went the other week, remember?”
I frowned.
“That bad, huh?” Petra made a face. “Ede, I know you’re not a beer person, but was it really that terrible? They have great reviews on Yelp,” she added.
No, I thought to myself. It’s not that they were bad, it’s that we’d go and all I could do would be to think about Professor Marks and what happened when he and I left. Or worse – we could even see him there! – and then what would I do? How on Earth could I even begin to tell you about it, when I can’t even wrap my own mind around what’s going on between the two of us!
Petra chuckled at my silence. “Okay, then,” she said, shaking her head. “No brewpub. It’s not like Uber is super-cheap right now, anyway.” She frowned. “What about Chinese? We could go to Golden Wok, that buffet, remember?”
I did remember – Golden Wok had been a place that Petra and I had haunted in our freshman year because it was cheap. The buffet was incredible: it had sushi and stir-fry and even a chocolate fondue fountain with fruit for dessert. Golden Wok was always filled with Oakbrook students – Petra and I had even used to joke about how they would go out of business if something happened to the college.
But thinking about it almost made me a little sad – it made me remember, yet again, how Petra and I were growing up and moving in different directions.
“I remember,” I said slowly. I peeled off my coat and sat on the edge of the couch. “You’re not worried about running into Evan?”
Petra smirked. “Let him see me,” she said, tossing her hair. I had to admit that maybe a day of lounging around with mimosas had done her well – she looked as pretty and well-rested as I’d ever seen her. Looking at her now, I realized for the first time in my life that I was no longer jealous of Petra.
Although we’d been best friends from pretty much the immediate start, I couldn’t have ignored the stark differences between us. Petra was blonde and blue-eyed, with a slim, athletic build that made her look like a dancer. She was bubbly and witty and perky and fun – basically everything that I wasn’t. I’d spent so much time o
f our friendship wondering why she even wanted to be close to me.
I was very different from her – short and stocky (my mom had always tried to soften that by saying that I was a real woman, with curves) and plain brown hair and brown eyes. Shy and anxious, nerdy and bookish.
We were total opposites, even. I’d envied her appearance, always wishing that I was slimmer or blonder or cute.
Ever since Professor Marks had shown interest in me, though, I realized that I felt just as beautiful as Petra looked.
“So, Eden,” Petra said, pulling me out of my thoughts. “Golden Wok?”
I nodded decisively. “Golden Wok,” I said.
Petra grinned. She got to her feet and walked into the kitchen where she took another bottle of wine from the fridge.
“But first, I think we should do some serious day-drinking,” she said. “Because Chinese food always tastes better when you’re drunk.”
“Sounds good,” I said, even though I wasn’t much of a drinker.
I figured that if booze would help me forget about Professor Marks and my growing obsession with him, then day-drinking was the best idea that Petra had ever had.
14
Will – Thursday
My ... encounter with Eden that morning had left me so shaken that I’d completely forgotten about asking Peter, my TA and grad student, to handle the freshman seminar later in the day. When I showed up, he threw me a confused look.
“Don’t mind me,” I said, aiming for nonchalance. “I’m just going to sit in the corner and grade papers. I thought that being in my office would invite conversation,” I added in a low voice as I thought about Gina.
Peter looked relieved and I wondered if he’d been hoping that I would show, if only to observe him.
“No problem,” he said. “Just let me know how I do, okay?”
I nodded.
Peter got the class underway – he was trying to go over the basics of literary criticism to give the students a small explanation of each school of theory – and immediately, my attention went straight to Eden. The way she’d sighed softly and sort of leaned against me, pressing those curves into my body. I’d felt her tits and her hips and her ass, all brushing against my body, and I had been paralyzed with lust and desire. The urge to take her in my arms and kiss her roughly had been so strong that I almost hadn’t been able to push it aside – when she’d muttered ‘thanks’ under her breath and fled the room, it had almost been a relief. I’d watched her scamper away, well aware that all I wanted was more.
God, she was driving me insane. At the brewpub, she’d accused me of being hot and cold with her ... and while that was partially true, if unintentionally so, she was far worse. One minute she stepped in and gave me those big doe-eyes and batted her lashes at me.
And the next, she ran off like a frightened deer.
I had to clear things up or else I was truly going to lose my mind. I’d never spent this much time worrying about a woman before, and while it had been kind of fun initially, it was draining. I was living in such a perpetual state of horny arousal that I was going to explode if it kept going.
Had this been Eden’s goal all along, to make her professor lose his mind?
She seemed sweeter than that, but maybe there was a beautiful devil lurking beneath that sexy angelic exterior.
The freshman seminar flew by. I wasn’t paying a tremendous of attention, as my mind was primarily occupied by none other than Ms. Eden Cooper, but the few moments I looked up I was surprised to see the students responding far better to Peter and his instruction than they ever did with me.
Maybe they’re not all dumb after all, I thought as I watched. Maybe they’re just intimidated. Maybe they just need to connect with someone in their own generation for a change.
“So, how did I do?” Peter asked afterwards.
“Great,” I said. “They really seem to like you.”
“Oh, yeah?”
I nodded. “Yes,” I said. “In fact, I’d actually like you to handle this course for me for the rest of the semester.”
“No shit,” Peter said. “That’s awesome.”
I nodded. “You deserve it,” I told him. “And to be honest, I could really use the break for extra office hours.”
Because I don’t already spend enough time daydreaming about Eden and her sweet little pussy, I thought to myself as I walked away. I went into my office and shut the door behind me – I’d been careful to do that ever since my last talk with Gina – and sighed as I sat down at my desk.
Before I could think twice about what I was doing, I pulled up my email and hit ‘compose’. Eden’s address was at the very top of my contacts, which I took to be an omen.
Hey, I wrote. Hope you’re doing better. I hope whatever was bothering you is gone now.
I leaned back in my chair and stared at the screen, wondering if I should send it. This was, after all, from my Oakbrook College email account.
But it was innocuous. It was a professor, checking up on a student. And if I sent it from my private Gmail account, well, then it would look suspicious.
So, I guessed it was better to stay here and send it from my official account.
As soon as I hit ‘send’, though, I felt an immediate twinge of regret.
Eden’s response came seconds later.
Feeling really overwhelmed. Should not have done that today. Sorry.
Sent from my iPhone
I swallowed hard. What had been bothering so much?
And did I have anything to do with it?
Coughing slightly, I typed a reply before I could really think about what I was doing.
I’m always good to talk to my favorite student.
My heart thudded in my chest. Was I really doing this, doing something so colossally stupid that I couldn’t comprehend it?
When her reply came, I stared at the screen for a long time.
Really? Because I could talk more.
Sent from my iPhone.
“Fuck,” I muttered under my breath. “Of course, you could.”
15
Eden – Thursday
“Hey,” Petra said, and I looked up to see her peering at me. “Are you even listening?”
“I’m sorry,” I said as I shoved my phone back down in my lap. The two of us were sitting at Golden Wok, with a pile of empty plates before us. After we’d spent a few hours on the couch, drinking wine (well, that mostly had been Petra ... I’d had one glass), we’d bundled up and walked across campus, then across the street to the shopping center where Golden Wok was perched between a CVS and a grocery store that had shuttered years ago.
“Is everything okay? You keep checking your phone,” Petra commented. She reached for an egg roll and swallowed it in two bites, chewing with her mouth open and reaching for her glass of water.
I nodded.
“Worried about your mom or something?”
“What? I mean, no,” I said quickly, remembering the lie that I’d told Petra days before – that my mom had gotten the flu and it was hitting her pretty hard.
I felt terrible lying to her. I’d never been a good liar – not even at white lies, like “oh, that looks fabulous on you” instead of “that dress makes you look like a hippo”. It just wasn’t in my DNA. I was Eden Cooper, sweet and untouched.
Or naïve and dumb, if you wanted to look at it that way.
At any rate, I knew that sooner or later, I was going to have to stop.
There was no way that I could have told her the truth, though. I wanted to – I desperately did. We’d shared so much in three and a half years that keeping a secret from her now was literal torture.
I would have told her, too, if it had been anyone in the world other than Professor Will Marks. If news got out that he, a professor, was involved with me, a student ... well, I knew it would mean more than just the end of his career. That was the kind of scandal that would follow him for the rest of his life, and I cared for him far too much to want to put him in danger
like that.
Which was ridiculous: we barely knew each other.
I didn’t want to think about the word love, even though that was what I felt in my heart.
What a mess.
“Anyway, I think we should keep going after this,” Petra said. She had just returned from the buffet with a platter of sushi. “Like, let’s maybe find a bar or something – I bet we could find a ladies’ night special somewhere if you’re worried about money. Or just let me pay for you,” she continued. “But I’m having so much fun with you, I can’t remember the last time we did this.”
I shifted uncomfortably in my chair. I felt bloated and fatter than usual from the four plates of fried Chinese-American food I’d consumed in a short amount of time, and I wanted nothing more than to go home and lie in bed.
And think about the emails that I’d exchanged with Professor Marks. A hot thrill ran through my body when I remembered that he’d reached out first.
That he wanted to make sure I was okay.
Was it possible that he really cared about me?
Another rush of emotion came at me, flooding my senses, and I knew that I had to find out.
Or at least, I had to be by myself for a while until I could figure this out on my own.
“I’m not feeling well,” I said suddenly. Petra’s head snapped up and she looked at me.
“What’s wrong?”
“I think I just need to go for a walk,” I said. “You don’t mind, do you?”
I could tell by Petra’s face that she did mind – very much – but after a moment, she shook her head.
“No,” she said. “You’re fine.”
“I’ll see you at home,” I said. “I really hope you feel better soon.”
“General Tso always helps,” Petra said. She waved her chopsticks at me and I left her there, sitting in the middle of Golden Wok, surrounded by food.
I didn’t feel great about what I was doing, but being in that hot, stuffy, cramped little Chinese restaurant had been driving me crazy and I knew that I wouldn’t be able to relax until I was out in the cold, night air. The winter chill refreshed me and I stuck my hands in my pockets as I walked away from the bright lights of the shopping center.
The Temptation: A Professor Student Romance (Forbidden First Times Book 6) Page 9