Elizabeth reached out tentatively with her hand, drew it back, put it out again and rested it on top of his clasped hands.
"William, please—stop punishing yourself. Yes, I loved Peter, but you have never come second best to him. Believe me when I tell you that you are the man I love, now and for always."
He looked up at her: their eyes met, then he pulled her into his arms and held her close.
“Then why did you send me away?" he asked her. "Did I express myself so badly? Or . . ."
"No William, no. It wasn't your fault, I promise."
“Then why?" She was silent for a moment.
"I can't tell you, I'm afraid," she replied eventually. “It's because it isn't my secret. Can you accept that?"
He smiled. "I believe I can accept anything if you will kiss me again. Only this time, promise not to run away."
"Never again, Mr. Darcy," she whispered against his mouth.
Much later, Darcy said to her, "Will you think me very arrogant if I say that there were times when I thought that you were becoming fond of me?"
And here Elizabeth blushed, thinking of how she had kissed him during the fireworks.
“But there seemed to be a barrier which I could not cross,” he added.
“There were a number of people who suggested that you might be interested in Mrs. Clarke," confessed Elizabeth.
"And you believed them?"
"She is very attractive, and you obviously knew her well," pointed out Elizabeth, very ready to concede that Mrs. Clarke was the most beautiful woman on the face of the earth now that she knew that Darcy was hers.
"And after all, every time I visited her, it seemed that you came to see her too."
"My darling," said Darcy grinning, "did it not occur to you that I might have another motive for visiting Crystal Cottage?"
Elizabeth looked puzzled for a moment, then blushed and said, "Oh!"
"Oh, indeed! Whenever I came here, either I was cornered by your father, or surrounded by your sisters when the only one that I really wanted to see was you. To track you down at Crystal Cottage seemed an obvious plan. Who told you that I was interested in Valerie?" he asked curiously.
"One of my informants was your employee, so you see—"
"Mrs. Younge!" exclaimed Darcy. "I'll wring her neck when next I see her!"
"Oh no, pray do not, for she was so very kind to me and Lydia during our stay in Ramsgate."
"I'll take you back to Ramsgate again soon," promised Darcy, taking hold of both her hands and kissing each finger in turn, in a way that she found disturbing and pleasant both at the same time. "But this time, I trust that I will not have to worry about whether you are attracted to George Wickham, or any other man! I wonder if you realize how jealous you made me? "
"Oh?"
"Yes, but then Miss King informed me that she had discovered Wickham and your sister alone in his rooms. I knew I could never convince Lydia to leave Wickham, so I convinced Wickham to marry her.”
“Oh Mr. Darcy, is there no end to your kindness?" cried Elizabeth, hugging him.
"Let me get on with my tale," he said firmly. "I want to finish it so I can kiss you senseless."
Having no fault to find with this, Elizabeth held her peace and allowed him to go on.
"Having arranged things for Wickham, I had my interview with him. I cannot recall ever being so angry before. I paid his debts and I arrange for your sister to have another thousand pounds, in addition to what your father will give to her."
“I'm sorry I misjudge you," said Elizabeth regretfully.
"Oh but you helped me. Far, far more than you know. You gave me another perspective on life. And now my darling, I have told you my story, and I am anxious to proceed with another matter." He made as if to pull her onto his knee, but saw that a shadow had fallen across her face. "What is it?" he asked her, sensing her distress but not knowing the cause.
"I have just realized, William, I am so very sorry, but I don't see how we can marry after all," she murmured, looking down at her hands.
"Oh really?" he replied. He did not seem noticeably dashed. And why is that, my love?"
“It's my family,” she said, distressed. "How will they manage without me? Oh, I know that Jane has coped very well in my absence, but that's a different thing to having to look after matters all the time. And Papa doesn't want to care for the estate, he wants to keep to his studies, and as for all the others . . ." Her voice faded.
“My dear Elizabeth, for an intelligent woman, you do talk a lot of nonsense," Darcy replied firmly. “It will be my privilege to care for your family. I intend to see to it that they have a housekeeper, a governess and a steward and Jane shall have the opportunity to marry Mr. Bingley is she chooses. And do not forget that she and Bingley will be living three miles from Longbourn. And now that I have allayed your fears, my sweet. . .”He took hold of her hands.
“Are you sure, William?" she asked him anxiously. "Just think of the expense." Suddenly she thought of something else. "Oh and the necklace! You paid for my necklace!"
"Think of it as a bridal gift," he smiled, "although I have to admit that at the time I had not realized that I would be the lucky man!"
"Then why. . .?" she began.
"Why did you pay for it to be repaired?”
“It was on impulse, mainly. I really had gone in to buy something for a lady—a present for Georgiana in fact—but after I had made my choice. . ."
"Well?" she prompted him.
"I have to confess that I couldn't endure the memory of your grief-stricken face,” he admitted, "and from then onward, I found myself thinking about you more and more. In any case, I cannot think of any way in which my money would be better spent!"
He would certainly have pulled her into his arms that moment had not the door into the little sitting-room opened, to reveal Wickham and Lydia standing on the threshold. Lydia's face was flushed most becomingly, and she looked better than she had done for some time, whilst on Wickham's countenance was an expression that Darcy had never seen before.
"Wickham?" exclaimed Darcy, as he rose to his feet.
"Good day, Mr. Darcy," said Lydia.
"How wise of you to interrupt him, my love, before he said something unsuitable for our chaste ears," drawled Wickham looking down at her. Then he took hold of Lydia's hand and looking up at Darcy said, almost challenging, "Wish me happy, Darcy."
"Of course," said Darcy, clasping Wickham by the hand, whilst the two sisters embraced. "But only if you will do the same for me."
"My very best wishes to you too,” Wickham said quietly.
It was agreed that Wickham should stay at Netherfield Park with Darcy for the time being. Elizabeth invited them to come and have dinner that evening, after which they would both seek interviews with Mr. Bennet. She walked with Darcy to the bottom of the drive, leaving Wickham to bid farewell to Lydia in the house.
As they were walking arm in arm, very slowly so as to postpone the moment of parting for as long as possible, Elizabeth said thoughtfully, "William—do you think they will be happy?"
She stopped abruptly.
"I have guessed that their wedding will need to take place before ours. Wickham's conduct. . ." He broke off.
"He did wrong, but Lydia did too," answered Elizabeth. At least they are together now. But even so, I feel a sense of responsibility."
"Enough of that," said Darcy decidedly. "You are not responsible for them. It is their life now."
They walked along in a deeply contented silence, until at last Darcy spoke again. "Elizabeth, there's one more thing I would like to know.”
He pulled her into his arms. “I want us to belong together for always."
Her response to his kisses left him in no doubt that his sentiments were entirely reciprocated.
on Archive.
The Ramsgate Affair Page 12