by T. O. Smith
"Hey, hey – don't leave." Thor softly spoke as his massive frame knelt in front of me. I squeezed my eyes shut, my head beginning to hurt. "Stay with me, sweetheart. Look at me – focus on me, yeah? It's just a panic attack – it’ll pass." He soothed.
I snapped my teary eyes up to his, hating that hot tears were sliding down my cheeks – hating that he was seeing me so vulnerable and weak. But for the first time ever, I wasn’t alone during one of my anxiety attacks.
Thor was here with me – strong and steady.
"Breathe." He coaxed. "It'll pass." He assured me. "I know it hurts, but just breathe."
He reached out and pressed his hand to my upper back right where it hurt, applying gentle pressure. I sobbed as I sucked air into my lungs. "Keep breathing, Lex. You're going so good, sweetheart."
Once the pain eased, and I could breathe normally, I swiped at my cheeks. "Sorry." I croaked.
"Nothing to apologize for, sweetheart. Everyone goes through their own shit. If I came on too strong, I'm sorry." He apologized, sounding genuinely sorry for his actions.
I grabbed his hand in mine when he got ready to stand back up. I wasn’t ready to go back into that bar, and after what had just happened, I didn't want to be alone.
My head tended to go to really dark places after an anxiety attack. I couldn’t stand the thought of being alone right now.
I was desperate for company.
“Thor, can you, um – can you please see if Trixie will let me off for the night, and then get me out of here?" I begged him. Fuck it all. I was taking him up on his offer. I just had to do something – fucking anything – to distract me.
"Your place?" He asked me, his eyes meeting mine.
I shook my head. "This is my place," I whispered. His eyes flashed at that news, surprise lighting up his blue eyes. "Wherever you live, that's fine," I told him.
He leaned forward a pressed a kiss to my forehead. I closed my eyes, my heart thumping erratically in my chest at the tender gesture. "Wait here for me." He ordered. "I'll be back." He tapped my chin with his knuckle, forcing me to look back up at him. “And keep those eyes open – name things that you see if it helps – but don’t go into your head.”
With that, he squeezed my hand before dropping it, striding back into the bar to go talk to Trixie.
With one last worried look towards Lex's still slightly shaking form sitting on the ground, I dashed back inside of the bar, going to find Trixie. She was serving drinks, the crowd already beginning to rush in for the night. "Where's Lex?" She asked me.
"She's not feeling good," I told her. Trixie stopped mixing the drink she was working on, looking up at me with a single eyebrow arched. I knew she didn't buy the shit I said for a second. I sighed as I roughly ran a hand down my face. "Trixie, she had an anxiety attack," I told her quietly, knowing if anyone would understand it, she would. I had witnessed how drained and exhausted she was after one, had watched Alex talk her out of her head, forcing her to focus on him.
Trixie's face fell, guilt flashing in her eyes. I wasn’t sure what the guilt was for, but I didn’t question it. I knew she had been talking to Lex before Lex had sprinted outside, so maybe she had said something that triggered the attack. But I knew I had already overwhelmed the woman before Trixie ever came up to her.
"Tell her that I said to take the rest of the night off." She informed me. I breathed a sigh of relief, honestly worried about the woman waiting for me to come back outside to her. "Take her somewhere, Thor, but don't force her—"
I cut her off with a roll of my eyes. "Seriously, Trixie, I'm not an asshole." I reminded her.
She flashed me a smile. "I know." She told me. "Let Alex know that you're leaving."
I nodded once before I took off for the table Alex was sitting at. Grave and Grim had joined him. Alex looked up at me. "No need." He told me before I could open my mouth. "I can read lips." He reminded me. I rolled my eyes. That goddamn military training was helpful, but it could seriously get on my nerves sometimes "Get her out of here. Just remember we've got church at nine in the morning." He reminded me.
"Got it, VP," I said, turning on the heel of my boot to head back out the back of the bar. I saw Alex slide from his seat before I left, heading towards the bar to no doubt help Trixie serve the patrons.
Lex was leaning back against the wall with her arms draped over her knees. She was watching her surroundings cautiously, her breathing already evened out. She looked up at me as I stepped out of the back door. There was a slightly lost look in her eyes, and it tore at my soul.
"You're good." I gruffly told her as I held my large hand out to her to help her up from the ground.
She placed her smaller hand in mine, allowing me to gently pull her up. After placing my hand on her lower back, I led her around to the front of the bar where my bike was parked. I slid on and handed her my helmet.
"What are you going to wear?" She asked as she looked down at the helmet in her hand.
"My skin," I answered. She rolled her eyes at me, but her lips twitched with a smile. There we go. Now, I just needed to keep her out of her head. "Now, get on," I instructed.
She scowled at me, but she put the helmet on before she slid on behind me. She instantly wrapped her arms around me, and my dick twitched in response in my jeans. Every bit of her was soft, and the way her breasts pressed against my back and the way her thighs felt against me – fuck, I’d never wanted someone so damn badly. Locking my jaw, I gunned my engine before I took off down the street, my shoulder-length, blonde hair blowing behind me.
When we pulled up to my quiet, little house, I shut my engine off, letting her slide off before I did. She stared around her in amazement. "Holy crap." She breathed. "It's beautiful out here, Thor." Fuck me. I loved the way my name sounded on her lips.
I shrugged, stuffing my hands in my pockets. "My dad left it to me," I told her. "He built the house himself, dug out the pond, built the dock. Never hired help. Only help he had was me."
"It's incredible." She told me, looking up at me with those beautiful, green eyes. Damn, I was a sucker for them.
I inclined my head towards the small cabin. "Let's go inside. I could use a beer."
She followed me up the porch steps onto the wrap-around porch, her eyes running over the woodwork. I unlocked the front door and opened it, flicking on the light to the right of me as I did so. "What brought you to Hope, Lex?" I asked her as I headed into the kitchen, going straight to the fridge where I knew I had a cold beer waiting on me. If I didn’t have anything else in my fridge, I always had beer.
I popped the top off of one and held it out to her. She took it with a small thanks. I opened another one for myself. "Needed a change of scenery." She vaguely replied.
I arched an eyebrow at her as I took a long drink of the ice-cold liquid. That was a load of bullshit if I ever heard any. "Nobody decides they need a change of scenery and decide to move to Hope, Texas," I told her bluntly. She wouldn’t meet my eyes, and that was her giveaway. "San Antonio, Houston, Dallas, hell, maybe even Texarkana, but not Hope," I told her.
Her eyes flashed with nervousness, and I knew right then that she was on the fucking run from something or someone. I set my beer on the counter as I leaned my hip against it, crossing my burly arms over my wide chest, keeping my gaze steady on hers. "What are you running from, Lex?" I bluntly asked her.
"Nothing." She defensively snapped at me, narrowing her eyes at me as she squared her shoulders, ready for an argument.
I was all too ready to give one.
"Like hell it's nothing." I snapped back at her. Her eyes flickered towards the front door, and I took a threatening step towards her, daring her to make a run for that front door. She wouldn’t get two steps before I fucking stopped her. I don’t know why I felt so damn protective towards her, but I did.
"Don't even fucking think about it, Lex. You came running here. You're bringing whatever the fuck you're running from right to the fucking Savage Crows' doorstep. So
fucking start talking." I ordered.
"It's not your goddamn business." She sneered at me.
"Like hell, it's not." I snarled at her. "We run this goddamn part of the country, sweetheart." I reminded her. This is why I didn't have a fucking old lady. They're too much goddamn trouble – too much fucking drama – and they don’t ever fucking listen. "Every fucking time someone comes running to Hope, they bring all of their fucking trouble with them, and my fucking club has to play the fucking knights in shining armor. So fucking spill, sweetheart, so we have a goddamn head start on this shit."
"I don't have to fucking answer to you." She snarled, slamming her beer bottle onto the counter as she turned on her heel and stormed away from me towards the front door.
"Lex, you take another goddamn step, and I promise to God, I will fuck you until your legs don't work anymore," I warned her.
She flipped me off over her shoulder, still power walking towards the front door. Rage rushed through my veins. "Fuck you, Thor." She barked over her shoulder.
That was it.
I lost my fucking cool.
I stormed after her and gripped her arm, yanking her back against me. I threw her over my shoulder as she screamed at me, beating on my back, but her hits didn’t even affect me. "Put me the fuck down, Thor!" She yelled.
I smacked her ass – hard. She squeaked in alarm. "Shut the fuck up, Lex." I snarled as I stormed off to my bedroom, dropping her unceremoniously onto the bed. I shrugged my cut off, pointing my finger at her angrily as she moved to get up. "You fucking move, Lex, and I swear to you, I will bend you over my fucking knees and spank your pretty little ass until it's red and covered in my hand prints, you got me?"
Her eyes widened in shock at my words, her eyes darkening to the prettiest shade of dark green I had ever seen in my life. I pulled my t-shirt over my head, tossing it to the floor as I toed out of my boots, kicking them to the side. Her eyes flickered to the wall nervously, unable to look at me.
"Eyes on me," I commanded.
She snapped her eyes back to mine, her chest rapidly rising and falling as she became more and more turned on by the sight of me undressing in front of her. Her eyes raked over my tattoos, her gaze burning into my skin. It was like a blazing trail of fire, and it warmed me like nothing ever had before.
"Do you want this?" I asked her once I was completely naked, slowly stroking my cock as she stared at it, licking her lips.
"Yes." She whispered, snapping her eyes up to mine. "Thor, please." She begged, beyond the point of caring, of being ashamed. And I fucking loved it – loved how much she wanted me.
I moved towards her, yanking her boots off of her feet before I quickly began to remove the rest of her clothes for her until she was lying on my bed, completely naked.
And fuck, she was gorgeous. I always had a thing for thicker women, and this woman, in particular, was fucking perfection for me.
I didn’t do snacks. I did fucking meals.
She moved to cover her breasts and her stomach where there were stretch marks, but I shook my head, gently grabbing her wrists before I pinned them to the bed, raking my eyes over her beautiful form.
"Thor -"
"You're fucking beautiful," I assured her, leaning down to press a tender kiss to one of the stretch marks on her belly. She moaned, arching up into me. It was clear that she had once been a pretty big woman, but she had lost most of the weight, though she was still pretty thick.
And I fucking loved it.
"I'm going to release your wrists," I told her. "Don't cover yourself up, or I'll tie them behind your back," I warned her.
Her breath hitched in her throat as she nodded. I took her lips in a soft kiss, but it didn't take long for me to start drowning in her. She was addicting – fucking captivating. I deepened the kiss, tangling my tongue with hers. She wrapped her arms around my neck as she opened her thighs, letting me rest between them. I ground against her, drawing a long moan the back of her throat as she arched her back, pressing further against me.
I let my hands run over her, squeezing gently in some spots. I pulled my lips from hers, moving them down her body, trailing my tongue as I went. "Thor." She moaned, reaching out to tangle her fingers in my blonde hair.
"I'm going to take care of you," I assured her. "Just trust me, Lex."
She swallowed thickly and nodded. I effortlessly lifted her body and moved her further up the bed. Then, I grabbed her hips and lifted her pussy to my mouth, sliding the flat of my tongue between her folds. She cried out my name, her hands fisting into the bed sheets.
It was a beautiful as fuck sight.
When she finally came in my mouth, I set her back down on the bed, trailing my lips over the stretch marks on her stomach until I came to a jagged scar. It looked like a knife wound. Her body immediately tensed beneath me, but I quickly ran a soothing hand down her curves, relaxing her beneath me again despite the rage surging through my body.
I would kill whoever the fuck had the audacity to stab her – to mar her perfect skin like this.
I pressed a tender kiss to the scar before I moved on, moving up her body until my lips could take hers in a deep, all-consuming kiss.
"Fuck – condom," I grunted right as I was about to slide into her. My arms were shaking with the restraint to not just say fuck it. I rarely stayed at my house – always at the clubhouse instead – so, I didn’t have condoms here.
She shook her head at me. "I'm clean." She assured me. "And I swear, I can't have kids."
Questions flashed through my mind, but I buried them. "Fuck." I groaned, knowing I was taking a huge risk, but the opportunity to have her raw – nothing between us – spurred me forward.
I slid into her, groaning softly as her walls tightened around my dick. She wrapped those thick thighs around my waist, tightening them, squeezing my hips. I wrapped an arm around her, using it to brace my body off of her as I reached down and grabbed one of her ass cheeks in my hand.
Then, I fucked her until her legs collapsed next to me, no longer able to hold them up.
And I didn't stop there. I fucked her for hours, forcing myself not to come until she was completely spent beneath me and the sun was breaking over the horizon.
I was a man of my word, and I had warned her that if she took another step towards that front door, I would fuck her until she couldn't walk.
I collapsed next to her, instantly reaching over to draw her into my arms as I pulled the blankets over us. She tensed slightly, but I ran my calloused hand down her back, soothing her, relaxing her against me. "Just go to sleep," I told her quietly, pressing my lips to the top of her head.
Fuck it all, I wanted her – over and over again.
Fucking hell. The guys were right. Lex would become my old lady.
I was getting attached – all fucking ready.
I sat on Thor's front porch in one of his rocking chairs, silently sipping at a cup of coffee as I waited on him to come back from his clubhouse.
When I had woken up this morning, there had been a note on Thor's pillow that stated he had church, and he would be back later with food.
So, unless I wanted to walk miles back to the bar, I was stuck here. I had no money for a cab fare.
There was no doubt in my mind that Thor was going to try to wheedle answers out of me about why I had come running to Hope, but I was hoping he wouldn't. I really didn't want to talk about it.
I didn't want to talk about the kind of hell that I had come running from. I didn't trust any biker club after the one I had just barely managed to escape.
Hell, I was still on the run for my life.
I looked over as Thor pulled into the yard, his bike rumbling loudly, announcing his presence. His massive frame stood up from the bike, striding towards the porch immediately. "You're up early." He commented as he moved towards me.
I shrugged. "Couldn't sleep." I lied.
Truth was, I could sleep, but I suffered from nightmares and flashbacks. I normally only got about
an hour to an hour and a half of sleep each night. God only knew how I was surviving on such little rest.
Though, I had actually gotten a lot more sleep last night – well, this morning, actually – considering Thor and I didn't go to sleep until the sun was rising. I didn't want to think about the reason why – the answer was terrifying in itself because I didn't want to think of Thor as safe.
He couldn't be an option for me. He was part of a club, and I had sworn off of club members for the rest of my life.
"You ate yet?" Thor asked me as he held out a hand to help me up from the rocker that I was sitting in.
I cautiously placed my hand in his as I allowed him to pull me up from the chair. "No," I admitted. "I normally only drink coffee until work."