Lexi walked over to the bed and climbed up, setting herself at the corner of the mattress with her legs dangling over the edge. She looked at me warily for a second before speaking. “How did you do that to your hair?”
My hair? That’s it?
Oh, thank God.
I ran my fingers down my braid. “Well, it’s kind of like a regular braid, but you start with a little bit of hair and keep adding more as you go.” It was a pathetic description of how to do a French braid, but the best I could offer.
“Do you think you could do it to mine?”
“I don’t see why not.” I walked over to my dresser to get a brush.
“You don’t have to do it now,” she said, though I could tell she wanted me to do just that. “I’m going out with my friend Cindy tomorrow, and I thought that maybe you could do it for then.”
I tucked one leg beneath my rear end as I sat behind Lexi on the bed. “How about if I practice now and then I’ll be really good at it for tomorrow?”
“Okay.” I heard the smile in her voice. She scooted further back onto the bed, her legs straight out in front of her.
I pulled the brush through her hair a few times to remove any knots then went to work on the braid.
“Daddy and Jeff can do regular a braid, but not this kind.”
“Well, as long as they know how to do a regular braid, I can teach them how to do this for you.”
“Do you really think so?” She attempted to turn her head around to look at me, but I held her steady.
“If I can do this, anyone can.”
“Did your mom teach you?” Her wistful tone made my heart ache.
“No, a friend taught me when I was in high school. The whole basketball team wore our hair like this for games. I practiced on anyone who would sit still for me, but it took me a long time to be able to do my own hair.”
We chatted about hair and other girly things while I finished the braid. “All done.” I wrapped an elastic at the end. “Why don’t you check it out?”
She jumped off the bed and ran to the dresser in order to peer into the mirror above it.
“Here.” I stood and went to my purse to retrieve a compact. “Turn around.” Lexi turned, and I held the hand-sized mirror up in front of her and explained how to look into it so she could see the back of her head. She struggled at first, but her beaming smile told me when her eyes finally made contact with what she wanted to see. Before I knew what was happening, she thrust herself at me and wrapped her arms around my waist.
“Thank you so much.” She looked up, her green eyes shining. “I love it. You can do it again tomorrow, right?”
“Definitely.”
“Thanks so much, Sabrina,” she repeated, and squeezed me tight once again.
“Hey, what’s going on in here?” Dan’s voice bellowed from the doorway.
“Sabrina did my hair for me, Daddy. See?” She turned around so the back of her head faced him. “Don’t ya just love it?”
“It’s gorgeous,” Dan said, dragging out the last word, which caused Lexi to break out laughing. “But aren’t you supposed to be in bed? I distinctly remember tucking you in a while ago.”
Her laughing stopped abruptly. “But Daddy, it’s not like I have school tomorrow.”
“No, but you’re going out with Cindy tomorrow morning and I don’t want you to be a grumpy pants.”
Grumpy pants? Did I just hear Dan McMullen, athlete extraordinaire, master seducer, say grumpy pants?
Lexi’s bottom lip stuck out in a pout. “Can Sabrina tuck me in?”
Dan looked surprised by the question, then his eyes met mine and he said, “That’s up to Sabrina.”
Lexi turned to face me, her eyes hopeful. “Will you?”
“Sure honey, come on.”
We walked across the hall to her room and she climbed into bed. Once she settled in, I pulled the covers up and tucked them under her chin.
“Thanks Sabrina. Good night.” She rolled onto her side and snuggled up.
“Good night Lexi. Sleep tight.”
She closed her eyes and I backed out of the room, turning the light off as I passed through the doorway. I suppressed a scream as I backed into the solid wall of Dan’s chest. His arm grabbed at my waist to steady me, but if anything, his touch made me more off-kilter. I sucked in a deep breath before turning around to face him.
“Sorry.” I took a step back, putting some much needed space between us. I looked down to his leg. “Did I hurt you?”
“No, not at all.” He took a deep breath. “I was hoping we could finish our conversation.
I didn’t have to ask what conversation he was talking about. “Okay.”
“Downstairs?” His eyes glanced towards Lexi’s door. Without another word, Dan started toward the stairs and I followed.
Flopping onto the couch, Dan laid his crutch on the floor next to him. He stretched his injured leg onto the couch, his back resting on the arm, his other foot on the floor. I settled into the oversized chair across from him and watched as he rubbed his thigh directly above the brace.
I stood again and walked over to him. “Let’s take this off for a while.” My fingers went to work on the Velcro closures. I removed the brace and tucked a pillow beneath his knee. “Better?”
“I thought I had to keep it on at all times.”
I shrugged as I settled into the chair once again. “Yes, to keep your leg immobile, you should, but I’m here to make sure you don’t make any sudden moves.” I said the last sentence in a cheeky tone.
“I’m sure you will,” he said around a smile. Suddenly my words took on an entirely different meaning. I felt myself blush, but kept quiet. “Well, in any case, I thank you for giving me a reprieve from that thing.”
“You’re welcome.”
Dan’s gaze met mine again and the light-hearted tone disintegrated. He looked so serious I almost didn’t want to hear what he had to say.
“Also, thank you for taking care of Lexi. I really appreciate it.”
“You don’t have to thank me for that. It was nothing.”
He shook his head. “It wasn’t nothing. I mean, it might have been nothing to you, but it was definitely something to her.” He ran his fingers through his hair, then clasped his hands behind his neck and stared at the ceiling. When his eyes met mine again, they were so filled with sorrow, my throat tightened.
“I try my best, so does Jeff, but we’re just not…” he gestured, then shrugged, “…women.” I would have laughed at that statement if the subject matter weren’t so serious. “Anyway, that braid thing you did…her friend Cindy wears her hair like that a lot and Lexi loves it. I bought a book on how to do it, but couldn’t make heads or tails of the directions.”
My heart softened with every word he uttered. “I can teach you how to do a French braid,” I offered, before he spoke again.
“Really?” He looked nervous about the fact.
“It’s easy. As long as Lexi is willing to sit still and you’re willing to practice, you’ll have it down in no time.”
“I’d appreciate that.”
Dan’s gaze shifted to his toes and he pinched his bottom lip between his thumb and forefinger. He seemed to be pondering something and I settled myself further into the chair, tucking my legs beneath me, while he did.
“It just kills me that the two things she wants most, I can’t give her.” I arched my brow. “A mother and siblings.”
I was shocked by his admission and had to fight my first instinct to utter some awful sarcastic reply. The fact that I didn’t say the first thing that came to mind scared me more than the fact that I find him more attractive by the minute. When it comes to his relationship with his daughter, Dan is so sweet it’s hard not to respond.
Time to move onto a topic of conversation that makes him sound more like the scoundrel I know him to be.
“You never finished telling me about Lexi’s mother.”
He took a deep breath and let it out slo
wly, dragging his fingers through his hair at the same time. “When Marie found out she was pregnant, she wasn’t happy.” He looked straight at me and explained. “She’s a model and was afraid the pregnancy would ruin her figure.” He rubbed his brow. “I don’t know how much of this you want to know.”
“Whatever you feel comfortable telling me.”
He seemed to think about that for a minute before he spoke again. “When she told me she was pregnant, I was shocked, as I think I mentioned before.” I nodded and kept silent, encouraging him to continue. “She was furious and actually searched me out in the locker room before a game.”
“She just barged into the locker room?”
He chuckled. “Not exactly. She knocked on the door and had someone get me. She told me about Lexi in the tunnel. Needless to say, my mind was not on the game that day. I kept thinking about the baby. By game’s end, I had decided that the best thing would be for Marie and me to get married and raise her. She had other ideas,” he added dryly. “She didn’t want me or my baby.” He chuckled, but there wasn’t a trace of humor in it. “And she told me so in no uncertain terms.”
“So what did you do? I mean, obviously you convinced her to have Lexi.”
“I bribed her,” he blurted out, then stared at me as if waiting for me to lash out at him. When I didn’t, he relaxed a little and continued. “I offered her a half million dollars plus training expenses afterward so she could get her figure back.” He rolled his eyes.
“And she agreed?”
“Not at first, but eventually yeah, she did. A half million dollars is a lot of money.”
“But you said she was a model.” I hear model, I automatically assume big bucks.
“She was, but she wasn’t a supermodel or anything. Besides that, like athletes, modeling careers are generally short.” He shrugged. “So she took the money and ran.”
“Literally?”
“Practically. She took off two weeks after she gave birth to Lexi.”
“And you haven’t seen her since?”
“She came back when Lexi was one. It was in the legal agreement my lawyer drew up that she had to sign off rights after giving birth, but she had a year to reconsider. He had to contact her to come in and sign again. Lexi and I were there too. She barely looked at her.”
“What a bitch.” When I realized I said that out loud, I cringed. “Oh God. I didn’t mean to say that.”
Dan laughed. Not a small chuckle, but a full-blown belly laugh. “I always could count on you to tell it like it is.” He wiped at his eyes and sobered. “Whatever she is or isn’t, she’s gone and I’m left to explain things to Lexi.” He shifted his weight and the therapist in me went on instant alert.
“Are you okay?” I jumped out of my seat, but he stilled me with a raised arm.
“I’m fine. I mean, my leg is fine, but my butt went numb.”
I settled back into the chair. “Sorry, there’s no therapy to fix that.”
He snapped his fingers. “Shucks.” Our eyes met and held and my entire body broke out in goosebumps. I quickly averted my gaze.
Why does he affect me like this?
Dan must have sensed my unease and he continued his story. “Up until recently, it wasn’t an issue. Lexi had me and Jeff and Mrs. Evans, not to mention my entire family. I don’t think she realized anything was missing. A lot of her friends’ parents are divorced, so I guess that’s why she never questioned it. But somewhere along the way, she realized that her friends have both a mother and a father somewhere. So we were eating one night and she just blurts out, ‘where’s my mommy’ and I nearly choked on my burger.”
“What did you tell her?”
“I thought about telling her she died, but I’ve seen enough movies to know the lie would come back and bite me in the ass one day. So I just told her Marie left. I think ‘went away’ was the exact phrase I used.
“I’m just not sure how much more to tell her at this point. She’s only eight. I don’t want to lie to her, but I think she’s too young to know the truth.” He pinched the bridge of his nose as he continued. “I don’t want to weave some fairy tale for her to believe in, but I also don’t want her to know the ugly truth. I’m sure there’s a middle ground somewhere in there, but I’ll be damned if I know what it is.” He dropped his hand to his lap and his eyes met mine once more. “The problem is that once she gets a question in her head, Lexi doesn’t quit until she gets an answer.”
Dan
I stared at the ceiling and replayed my night with Sabrina over and over in my head. When I saw that braid thing she did to Lexi’s hair, it felt like someone punched me in the gut. And then when she tucked her into bed, it was almost too much.
I thought I got it together during our walk downstairs, but then I ended up spilling my guts to her. I still can’t believe it. Only my family knows the whole ugly truth about what happened with Marie. And I didn’t do it to convince her that I’m some kind of saint…sharing it with her just seemed right. Her reaction made me love her even more.
It’s obvious she cares about Lexi, but part of me is worried about what will happen if I can’t make this work. It’s obvious that Lexi has gotten pretty attached to Sabrina. What happens if once she’s done here, she just goes away and we never see her again? I’ll have to talk to her about that.
This is a complication I hadn’t thought through when Jack helped me concoct the plan to get Sabrina into my life again. Besides Mrs. Evans, there hasn’t been a woman around my house on a regular basis. I haven’t had a real girlfriend since Marie and I didn’t think it would be right to get Lexi attached to someone I’m not serious about. So I guess it’s inevitable Lexi would gravitate toward any female, especially since she’s asked about her mother.
I shook my head. That’s not totally true. I don’t think Lexi would give her affection to just anyone. She’s a pretty smart kid, and seems to know when someone is being nice to her to get to me and when they genuinely like her. I think she’s spent enough time around the ballpark to tell the difference. My chuckle echoed in the quiet room. Lord knows Sabrina falls into the latter category. If she had her way, she’d spend more time with my daughter than she does with me.
Although things have been better lately. That wary look isn’t in her eyes anymore and her words have lost their sarcastic bite. I think it’s safe to say we’re friends now. Now I just need to convince her to take that friendship to the next level.
8
Sabrina
I couldn’t fall asleep for thinking about all the things Dan had told me. I’ve always considered myself a modern, free thinking woman, but I can’t understand how a woman could nourish a child inside her body for nine months, give birth to her, and then walk away like she doesn’t exist. It’s bad enough when a man walks away from his flesh and blood, but to me, it seems so much worse when a woman does it.
I really admire Dan for all he’s done for Lexi. The mere fact she was ever born speaks volumes about his stubbornness and determination. He was only twenty-three when Lexi was conceived. I assume most men would have simply let Marie get the abortion she craved instead of shackling himself with a baby while he was in his prime…especially when he was just starting his career.
His little settlement with Marie must have taken a large chunk out of his earnings back then. Maybe I’m not giving the males of our species enough credit, but I think what Dan did was extraordinary.
My problem now is that I have to remember to keep these soft feelings for Dan the father out of my dealings with Dan the sexually active, couldn’t-be-faithful-to-save-his-life man.
The sun was not welcome through my window the following morning, nor was the knock on my door that had actually stirred me from a restless slumber in the first place. I nearly shouted “come in” in order to avoid actually getting out of bed, but remembering where I was, I quickly decided against it.
“Just a minute,” I yelled as I reluctantly flipped back the covers and dragged myself out of bed.
I cringed when got a glimpse of myself in the mirror. My hair looked like a rat’s nest and it’s a wonder I can focus through my red, puffy eyes. My shorts and tank top aren’t something I usually greet people in, but right now, I’m too damn tired to care.
I opened the door and found Lexi on the other side. “Good morning, Sabrina.”
I didn’t want to contradict the child, so I simply said, “Hi, Lexi. How’s it going?”
“Great.” Her eyes glanced first up then down the hallway before she whispered, “Daddy told me not to wake you, but you said you’d do my hair today and Cindy’ll be here to pick me up soon.”
“What time is it?” I asked around a yawn.
“Nine o’clock.” As if on cue, the grandfather clock at the top of the stairs started ringing its hourly tune.
“Oh man, I’m supposed to have a session with your dad now. I can’t believe I overslept.”
Lexi shrugged. “No big deal. He’s downstairs eating breakfast. So, can you do it?”
She jumbled the last two sentences together and it took my sleep-riddled brain a second to figure out what she was talking about.
“Your hair?” She nodded enthusiastically. “Sure. Come on in.”
Lexi hopped onto the bed while I retrieved my brush and an elastic from my dresser. I climbed on the bed behind her and brushed the knots out of her hair.
“You look tired,” she said.
I nodded and started braiding. “I had trouble falling asleep last night.” As if to punctuate my words, I yawned again.
“Are you married?”
Whoa! Where did that question come from?
“No.”
“Neither is my dad. Do you have a boyfriend?”
“Not right now.”
“Neither does my dad.” She chuckled. “Have a girlfriend, I mean.”
I think I know where this is going and I’m going to do my best to change course. “So what are you and Cindy going to do today?”
“Her mom is taking us to Magic Land. I’m gonna go on the rollercoaster. Do you like rollercoasters?”
On the Mend (Carolina Waves Series Book 1) Page 5