When Dan and I started dating, I’d never questioned the fact that our relationship wasn’t very physical. We kissed and touched, but he rarely went past second base. I assumed he was being respectful of my inexperience, but obviously there was more to it.
For a moment I thought he was going to crumble, but instead he said, “I can’t, Bri. I just can’t.” He sprang from the bed and adjusted his pants. “I’m sorry. It’ll be worth the wait. You’ll see.”
I felt like an idiot…a totally humiliated idiot. He should have been the one trying to get me to say yes, not the other way around.
“I better go,” Dan said, his voice laced with regret.
“But…”
He gave me a quick peck on the cheek, careful not to touch me anywhere else, or allow me to touch him. “I’ll see you tomorrow.”
He left without looking back.
A week later, I learned about his various indiscretions. Ever since then, I’ve wondered who finished what I had started that night.
14
Sabrina
“Where are you going?” Lexi asked.
“Home.” Before I could explain, my cell phone rang. “Just a minute,” I told her as I answered it.
My mother was on the other end of the line wanting to know what time I planned to arrive. And, since it was my mother, the call lasted slightly longer than I’d intended. When I turned back to Lexi, I found her father standing where she had been, looking gorgeous, out of breath, and furious.
“You’re leaving?” he accused more than asked.
“I…” I started to explain, but stopped. I don’t have to explain anything. Instead of answering, I went back to packing.
“So that’s it?” he said. I peered over to find him, as I knew he would be, hands on his hips, looking dangerous. Not that I would think for a minute he’d physically hurt me, but mentally, emotionally…that’s another story. “You’re just leaving? Quitting?”
I turned and fully faced him. The look on his face almost made me laugh. Disbelief, anger, and what I could only describe as panic molded his normally perfect features into a comical mask. As much as part of me wanted to keep him in the dark, I decided to confess my plans.
“I’m going to my mother’s,” I explained in a patient tone. “I’m off this weekend, remember?”
“But Lexi said you were going home.”
“Don’t you call your mother’s house home?” My brow arched. He nodded and some of the tension drained from his body. “I didn’t get a chance to explain it to her because my phone rang. I didn’t mean to upset her.”
Dan walked to the bed and sat on the edge, right next to my suitcase. “Well, she was upset.” He rubbed his eyes. “Dammit, I didn’t mean for this to happen.”
“What?”
“I didn’t think she’d get so attached to you.” He pinched the bridge of his nose between his thumb and forefinger. “Obviously she has.”
I didn’t know what to say to that, so I returned my attention to packing.
“I’ll have to talk with her while you’re gone,” Dan said, more to himself than to me.
“You know the routine well enough to attempt it on your own tomorrow.” I looked at him to make sure he was listening. “But don’t push yourself too hard. If it hurts above a five, don’t do it.” He looked distracted, but he nodded. I rethought my plan of action. “On second thought, give yourself a break tomorrow. I’ll be back Sunday. We’ll fit in a session then.”
That seemed to catch his attention. “When are you coming back?”
“Sunday evening. I’m not exactly sure what time. If you have plans…”
“No. No plans.”
“Okay, I’ll see you then.” I zipped my duffel bag.
“It’s a date.”
I know it’s just an expression, but the words still bothered me. “No, it definitely is not a date.”
Dan almost smiled, but must have thought twice when he saw the aggravated look on my face. “Okay then, it’s an appointment.”
I could live with that and told him so. Tossing my bag over my shoulder, I asked where Lexi was. “I want to say good-bye.”
“She’s in the kitchen with Mrs. Evans.”
Dan followed on my heels as I started out of my room.
I found Lexi perched on a stool at the island, eating a bowl of cereal. “Hey, Lex.” When she turned to face me, it was obvious she’d been crying. I felt awful, but quickly reasoned with myself that I have nothing to feel bad about. Not really. She simply misunderstood. And even if I was leaving for good, it boggles my mind that she’d be so upset. After all, I’ve only been here a few weeks. What’s going to happen when I’m leaving for good? It makes me wonder what Dan’s women treat her like if she’s gotten so attached to me in so short a time.
“You’re really going?” she asked, her face sullen. Her big green eyes shifted to my duffel bag.
“I’m going to visit my parents, but I’ll see you Sunday night.”
Her eyes brightened. “You’re coming back?”
I nodded then nearly fell as she launched off the stool and threw herself at me, wrapping her arms around my waist. “I’m so happy,” she mumbled against my stomach.
I might normally have been annoyed, or at least slightly embarrassed, but Lexi is so sweet, I can’t help but find it endearing.
Somehow I managed to pry her arms from around my body and step back. “Take care of your dad, okay?” She nodded. “Make sure he doesn’t do too much.”
“I will.”
“I’ll see you Sunday.”
“Okay.”
“Have a safe trip,” Dan added.
“I will,” I said around the lump in my throat.
I took one last glance at Lexi my chest tightened. I closed the door behind me and headed to my car.
I wish I had a daughter like her.
Whoa! Where did that come from?
I slammed the car door with more force than was necessary. Don’t get me wrong, I like kids. I love holding little babies and breathing in their sweet scent, enjoy talking with toddlers, and just hanging out with older kids, but what I love most is handing them back to their parents when I’m done. I don’t consider myself very maternal. Sure I can take care of children for short periods of time, but that’s vastly different from being responsible for their every need, their very lives for that matter. Never, in all the years of friends and relatives having children, have I wanted one of my own. So, why now?
That question occupied my mind all the way home.
Dan
After Sabrina left, I hung out with Lexi in the pool, which basically consisted of me sitting on a raft watching her swim around. I had to talk to her about her reaction to Sabrina going home, but needed her full attention first.
“Hey Lex, you about ready to get out?”
She picked her head up and looked at me through pink goggles.
“Five more minutes?”
“Sounds good,” I said. “You coming to the game with me tonight?”
The Waves are at home for the next ten days and I figured I’d stop in and watch a game. I’ve put off visiting this stadium this long because I know it won’t be as simple as stopping in and watching them play. I’ll visit the guys in the locker room, talk to PR, and probably end up in the booth giving the journalists—and the fans— a rundown on my progress. I’ve also put it off because I didn’t want to have to hobble around the stadium on crutches…or God forbid, have someone drive me around on one of those little golf carts.
“Yeah,” she said.
“Do you want to stop for some fritters on the way?”
“Yes!” She jumped up and down and pulled her goggles off.
There’s a little shack on a backroad near the stadium that make the best crab fritters I’ve ever tasted. True South Carolina native, Lexi loves them, too. We usually go every day before a home game, but for obvious reasons, haven’t been there at all yet this season.
“Let’s get out now and
dry off. I want you to try to relax a little, maybe take a short nap, before we go. It might be a late night.”
I know my chances of Lexi taking a nap are slim to none. That only happens when she’s sick. But, if she lays down for a little while and rests, so can I. Paddling my way to the edge, I slid off the raft, and carefully walked up the stairs. I had gotten permission to take my brace off while showering, and figured it would be okay to remove it so I could float in the pool for a bit. I don’t want to make any sudden moves and totally fuck up my leg again.
I wrapped a towel around my waist and grabbed another one for Lexi. When she made her way to my side, I dried the excess water from her hair, then wrapped the towel around her shoulders. She hopped into a lounge chair and sat back. I sat on the edge of her chair, still trying to figure out what I was going to say about her reaction to Sabrina going home for the weekend.
“I want to talk to you about something,” I said.
She rubbed the towel across her cheek. “About what?”
“How upset you were when Sabrina told you she was leaving.”
“I thought she was going for good.”
“I understand that, but you know that just because she wasn’t leaving for good this time, eventually she will be, right? Sabrina is my physical therapist and she’s here to get my leg fixed so I can play again. Once that’s done, she’ll go home.” It killed me to say all that. Lord knows I don’t want Sabrina to go, but I have to prepare Lexi in case it does happen.
Lexi looked down at her lap and twisted the towel in her fingers.
“But I don’t want her to go.” She looked up at me. “I like Sabrina. And…” Looking back down toward her lap, she pulled the towel tighter around her shoulders.
“And what?”
She shrugged. “I just like her and don’t want her to go.” She scrunched her nose. “When she does leave, do you think she’ll call this time?”
I’m sure she was going to say something else, but didn’t push it. This conversation is awful enough. Besides, whatever she’s thinking will eventually come out. Lexi doesn’t keep too much to herself.
“I know you like her, and I know she really likes you. I’m sure she’ll keep in touch when she does leave for good.”
“You think so?”
“Sure.” I wasn’t sure of anything where Sabrina was concerned, but Lexi seemed to believe me. “Come on, let’s get changed and relax for a little bit. We’ll put a movie in and snuggle on the couch.”
Lexi abandoned me shortly after we entered the stadium. We ran into John Kasprzyk’s wife Natalie and his daughter Ava, and the girls begged to hang out. Since they haven’t seen each other since my injury, I let her go.
I made my way down to the locker room and was greeted with the ribbing I’d expected. When all the smack talk was done, I got the guys up to date on my progress. With all that out of the way, everyone settled back into their pre-game routine, and I joined two of my best friends, Jack Reagan and Cal Chase at the end of the room. My locker sat between theirs, so I settled into my chair to catch up.
“All that bullshit you said over there true?” Cal asked.
“Of course.” I smiled. “Seriously, it’s a lot better. Sabrina said I’ll definitely be ready for spring training.”
“And how are things going with Operation Sabrina?” Jack asked.
“I’m still working on that,” I said.
Before Jack could ask a follow-up question, Eric Griffin, one of the team journalists, approached.
“Hey Dan,” he said. “How’s the leg?”
“Eric.” I shook his hand. “It’s good. Coming along.”
“Would you have a few minutes to stop in the booth and let the fans know how you’re doing?”
“Sure. I need to pick some things up at the office, but I can come up after that.”
“See you then.”
Once Eric left, I filled Jack and Cal in on my leg and they gave me the inside scoop on the season to date. I’ve been following the team, but watching the games doesn’t give you the whole story. They seem optimistic about the Waves going to the Series this year. I’m happy for the team, but pissed off because I’m sitting on the sidelines.
“I’ll let you guys finish getting ready. I have to stop and see Hannah before I hit the booth,” I said, referring to the head of public relations for the Waves. “She emailed some potential appearances I want to find out more about. Since I’m here, I figured I’d talk to her in person.”
“If you’re up to it, a few of us are visiting the children’s hospital next Tuesday,” Cal said.
“Sounds good. Text me the details.”
I’m glad to be mobile again so I can at least get back to some of the PR aspects of my job. And I know the children’s hospital is near and dear to Cal’s heart, so I’m happy to help him any way I can.
After saying my good-byes, I left the locker room and made my way toward the PR office. It’s an odd feeling, leaving the locker room before a game and heading away from the field. One I hope to not feel permanently for a long time.
15
Sabrina
I love my family, but right now they’re driving me crazy. If anyone asks me another question about Dan, I think I’ll scream.
Coming home seemed like a great alternative to staying cooped up with Dan, but now I’m not so sure. In honor of my homecoming—like I never travel the whopping sixty miles to visit—my mother invited some people over for a barbecue. Within half an hour, everyone knew about my working with Dan, and within an hour, they were aware of our past relationship.
Of course, my family and close friends had already known, but my mother’s neighbors were awestruck by the fact. The funny thing is that some of them had met Dan back then, they just hadn’t taken notice of him. I wasn’t going to tell them that, though. My mother, however, had no qualms about doing just that.
“You remember John, he was here for Kevin’s graduation party. You yelled at him for parking in front of your house.”
John Roberts, my parent’s neighbor of umpteen years, and possibly the most tactless and annoying man I’ve ever met, perked up at that piece of information. “Oh yeah,” he said as he nodded slowly. “Now I remember. He was a great kid. Really down to earth.” John turned his attention to me. “Don’t take it personally that he didn’t stick with ya, Sabrina. With so many babes throwing themselves at him, you can’t expect a guy to stick with just one. Especially someone like you.”
See what I mean? No tact.
I forced a smile, excused myself to freshen my drink, and took the opportunity to sneak into the house. I didn’t realize I’d been followed until my brother, Kevin, put his two cents into the conversation I’d been having with myself.
“What the hell was I thinking?” I asked myself, out loud.
“You were probably thinking that you could run away from Dan again.” Kevin’s voice startled me so much I actually jumped. My heart threatened to pound out of my chest.
“Kevin!” I screeched. “You scared the crap out of me.”
“Did I intrude on a private conversation?” His eyes twinkled.
“As a matter of fact, you did.”
“Sorry,” he said, looking anything but.
He sat at the kitchen table and pushed the chair across from him out with his foot, inviting me to sit. I looked at him for the space of several heartbeats before obliging.
“You okay?” he asked, his brow furrowed.
I attempted to swallow the lump that had formed in my throat so I could give him a verbal answer. It wasn’t working, so I simply nodded.
“Sure?”
My shrug said all that I couldn’t. Kevin is the only person who knows the whole ugly story. Being two years older, he has always been my confidante and protector. He even offered to “pound the shit out of the bastard” ten years ago, which I found really touching, because they had become good friends while Dan and I were together. Although the offer was greatly appreciated, I declined.
“You know, my offer still stands,” he said, only half-teasing.
“I don’t know, Kevin, he’s bigger than he used to be.”
Dan tops off at six foot two and Kevin stands half an inch taller. Physically, their bodies are similar, broad shoulders, narrow hips, powerful arms and legs; if anyone could “pound the shit” out of Dan, it would be Kevin. But for some reason, I don’t want Dan hurt. Sometimes it kills me to watch him work through the pain in therapy, a reality I don’t want to explore.
“Yeah, but I have rage on my side.”
“Rage?” I laughed. “I like that.”
Kevin ran a hand through his blond hair and sighed. “Talk to me, Sabrina. You’re obviously upset.”
“It’s just all the questions, the comments. I had to get away from them.” I looked toward the door.
Kevin wasn’t buying it. “What’s going on with Dan?”
“Nothing,” I answered, perhaps a bit too quickly.
“Are you two back together?”
“God no!”
“Then what’s wrong?” His blue eyes, a shade lighter than my own, cast me a warning glare. “And don’t tell me nothing, because I know it’s something.”
Sometimes it really stinks when people know you so well.
“He kissed me.” I cast him an are-you-satisfied-now look, hoping he’d drop the whole subject.
“Anything else?” I shook my head. “Just a kiss?”
“Just a kiss.” I didn’t feel the need to tell him about the heavy petting that had been going on, nor the fact that I don’t know how far things would have gone if Lexi didn’t appear.
“So what’s the problem?”
I wanted to tell him that there wasn’t a problem, but (a) he wouldn’t believe me and (b) I really need to talk to someone. I sucked in a deep breath and let it out slowly.
“I just don’t want to go there.” I averted my gaze from his. “I wouldn’t be able to survive it again.”
“You never got over him, did you?”
On the Mend (Carolina Waves Series Book 1) Page 10