"I'm doing the lad a favor."
"Yeah," she said. "I'm sure you are. Just like a man picking up adollar bill is doing the street cleaners a favor."
"You don't understand my noble motives," I said, "so I will not talkabout them anymore. Tomorrow we start rehearsing the new act."
* * * * *
Well, sir, it was absolutely amazing the way Horatio picked that actup. With his dexterous, invisible help Mystiffio performed like theparagon of all prestidigitators. Alice added a jolt of high-voltageeye-appeal to the ensemble, by smiling sweetly and wearing a blacksatin bathing suit that had been designed by some patriotic person whobelieved in saving material to the point of cutting down onessentials.
I was sure, for the first time in my stretch in this loony business,that I had an option on a nice private little gold mine.
And I wasn't going to let anything upset my cartful of golden apples.
"Okay," I said. They were rehearsing on the stage of an empty theaterwhich was owned by a guy I'd done some favors for. "You look prettygood, but don't let it go to your head. The act needs a lot of work.Keep at it. I'm going out to get a sandwich."
Alice put her hands on her hips and looked down at me.
"Everything is fifty-fifty with you, isn't it?" she said. "We do thework, you get the money. Nice even split."
"Careful, beautiful," I said. "You'll die of your own poisons, if youdon't look out." I waved to her and left. After I'd had a bite to eat,I went to see one of the biggest agents in the business, the guy whobooks all the acts into the Capitol in New York.
"Look, Morry," I said, when his secretary had ushered me into hisoffice, which was big enough to hold the World Series in, "I've reallygot something terrific lined up."
Morry looked up at me and his little eyes were uninterested. He yawnedand dusted a fleck of dust from the sleeve of his coat.
"What is it?" he asked.
"It's a magician's act that--"
Morry shook his head. "Magicians are dead. Who wants to see rabbitspulled out of a hat?"
"This is different. This guy is good."
"All right, he's good," Morry said. "So what? We can't use him."
"But you ought to at least see the act," I pleaded. "It's got a honeyof a girl, too."
"Girl?" Morry glanced up and there was a flicker of interest in hislittle eyes.
"Yeah, a honey."
"Well," Morry shrugged. "I can't promise anything, but we do need anact to fill in a spot within a week or so. But whatever I get has tobe good. I can't send bums to New York."
"I know. I know," I said. My heart was hammering with hope. One breakon the Stem and I'd be set. "When will you catch the act? Tomorrow beall right?"
Morry nodded.
I went back to the theatre walking about three feet from the ground. Ifelt I was in at last. It was a funny feeling I couldn't analyze, butI knew I was going to be in.
* * * * *
When I walked into the little office back stage I found Alice theretalking to Horatio.
She was saying, "There should be _something_ you could do for theArmy, Horatio," as I walked into the office.
Horatio was standing by the desk, shoulders slumped. I had to looktwice to make him out against the background of the desk and wall.
Alice shut up when she saw me.
"Horatio and I were just talking," she said.
"Yeah," I said. "Now Horatio and I are going to do a little talking.Make yourself scarce."
Alice left and I turned to Horatio.
"What kind of a line was she giving you?" I snapped.
"Why, gosh, Mr. Flannigan," Horatio stammered. "She was just trying tohelp me. She's just as interested in getting me into the Army as youare. She's a wonderful girl, Mr. Flannigan."
There was something in his voice that brought me up with a jolt. Thekid had fallen for the girl as sure as I stood there.
"Now, look," I said gently. "You really want to get set with UncleSam, don't you?"
"Why, sure."
"Then listen to me. I'm doing everything I can for you. And I've got adeal all lined up. I was just over at the Army recruiting station andI think everything is set. Not right away, but pretty soon."
"Gosh, that's wonderful."
"Now you know who your friend is." I came over beside him and put myhand on his shoulder. "I got a little piece of advice for you that Iwant you to take to heart. Stay away from this kid, Alice. She's nogood for you."
"Now just a minute. You can't--"
"I'm sorry, kid," I said. I let my hand fall from his shoulder. "MaybeI shouldn't tell you, but--"
"Tell me what?"
"It's only for your own good I'm doing this. That pretty little blondeis just going to play you for a sucker. She's already married."
Horatio gasped. He must have been pretty sold on the girl.
"I don't believe it," he cried.
"It's God's truth."
"Who is the man?" Horatio cried brokenly.
"Mystiffio."
"Mystiffio!"
I nodded slowly. "It's a tough break, kid, but the sooner you forgether the better." I had already decided I'd get rid of her. Shewouldn't be hard to replace. Horatio was my gold mine and I didn'twant anyone to do a scorched-earth job on him.
"But she never told me," he muttered.
"Naturally," I said. "She'll probably even deny she's married to himnow, but don't let that fool you."
"No, sir," Horatio said. "She won't make a sucker out of me." Hisanger must have subconsciously affected his visibility mechanism forhe was visible and his lean jaw was hard, but there was a hurt look inhis clear blue eyes.
"That's the boy," I said. "Just remember who your friends are and youwon't go wrong."
"I won't, Mr. Flannigan," he promised solemnly.
* * * * *
The next afternoon Morry arrived to see the act. He was dressed in anatty pin stripe suit and he wore a big yellow carnation in thebuttonhole, but his sallow face was impassive.
I escorted him down the dark empty theatre to the front row.
"Just hold your breath now," I told him. "I'll have the act on stagein a jiffy."
He yawned and glanced at his watch.
"I haven't got long," he said.
I went backstage and found Alice.
"Hurry up," I said. "Morry is waiting."
She looked at me as if I'd just crawled out from the wainscoating."I've just talked to the kid," she said. "He thinks I'm poison. Whatkind of a yarn have you been feeding him?"
"Me? Why, honey, that hurts. Do you think your Uncle Patrick wouldbreathe an unkind word about you?"
"Well, it's mighty strange," she said. "He won't even tell me what'sbiting him."
"I wouldn't pay any attention to him," I said. "Perhaps it's all forthe best."
"Hmmm," she said, eyeing me shrewdly.
"Come on now, be a good kid and get things rolling. A lot depends onthis you know."
I went back and joined Morry.
Well the act was terrific. Mystiffio had Morry's eyes sticking outinside of thirty seconds. I hadn't told Morry about Horatio. I figuredI'd let that angle ride for a while.
But Morry was really impressed.
"The guy is good," he said. "The things he does don't seem humanlypossible."
Of course he didn't know that most of the effects were being createdby the invisible Horatio but what he didn't know wouldn't hurt him.And he didn't miss Alice, either. When she came on stage in her cute,abbreviated little costume, he straightened up and opened his eyes.
"The kid is nice," he murmured.
"Are we in?" I demanded.
"Can't say yet. I gotta talk to the act but I'd say your chances werepretty good."
I almost swooned with happiness. The break I'd been waiting for all mylife was here at last. The golden apples were about ready to drop intomy lap.
* * * * *
When Mystiffio finished his routine I took Morry backstage. I foundAlice.
"Here she is, Morry," I said. "And she's just as nice as she looks." Ishoved Alice toward him. "Be nice, baby," I hissed in her ear.
Morry took one of her little hands and his eyes were
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