by Tiffani Lynn
Gavin shoots right up. “Kayaking? That sounds awesome!”
“We’ve got two two-person kayaks,” Mike explains.
Before anyone can say anything, I look pointedly at Mike and inform him that Gavin will be in my kayak. I don’t want any issues and if he’s with me it’s less likely to happen.
Mike leaves Summer a note and we all load up in the kayaks. We’re all having a blast as we make our way across the water. The only time we stop is when Thomas spots the telltale bubbles of a manatee underwater. So we pull up close to the bubbles and wait. Sure enough, a gigantic manatee surfaces right next to us. It’s the coolest thing ever and I wish I had a camera on my son’s face when he realized how huge that thing was. When the big guy sinks back down, we kayak through a narrow canal and into Three Sisters Springs where the water is crystal clear and most of the sand is white. We circle around the area and then back out to the river again. As we’re leaving through the narrow canal, a group that’s swimming rather than kayaking comes in and delays the guys behind us. When Gavin and I make it to the river he begins paddling as fast as he can. “Gavin, stop! We need to wait for them. If you stop paddling, we can just float until they come through.”
Gavin turns to me and says, “I don’t care. We should leave them. We don’t need them.” The seriousness of his expression shows me that he really means it.
For the third or fourth time in two days I’m wondering who this kid is. I lean in toward him. “Gavin, don’t you dare embarrass me again. Don’t repeat what you said, and if your paddle touches the water before I tell you to use it again, I’ll take away your Xbox for a month when we get home,” I hiss.
His head snaps around to the front and he doesn’t turn back around until we get back to Mike’s. When we pull up to the dock he’s out of that boat and stomping to the house before he can even get his life jacket off.
“All right, what did we miss?” Mike asks good-naturedly.
“Just my son being a brat again. I don’t know what to do with him. He’s never been like this before. I’m sorry, I’m going in to talk to him. I’ll see you guys inside.”
When I reach the house, Summer’s in the kitchen getting a drink. I don’t have to say a word and she doesn’t either. She just points to the guest room and I storm in after him. Gavin has stripped off his life jacket and left it in a lump on the floor. He’s sitting on the edge of the bed facing the window with his arms crossed over his chest and a nasty scowl on his face.
I close the door and go around to that side of the bed. “What’s going on, Gav? You never act like this. You’ve been so rude since we arrived, even though everyone has just tried to help us have a good time.”
“It’s him. I hate him!” he yells.
“Him who?” I ask, afraid of the answer.
“Thomas,” he says in a sing-song voice that’s mean and annoying.
“Why? He’s been so nice to you.”
“Because he’s a jerk.”
“Gavin! Why would you say that?” I’m mortified and hurt and surprised that he feels so strongly. Thomas has been wonderful with both of us. Even though Gavin’s been a total brat since almost the moment they met, he’s still gone out of his way to make sure Gavin has fun.
“I don’t want to be around him anymore. I’d rather go home and have all those people drive us crazy.”
“I don’t know what to say to you right now, son, except that I’m embarrassed and disappointed. You’re about to get your wish because I can’t handle this anymore. Stay here until I come back.”
“Fine,” he snaps at me.
I stalk out of the room and spot Thomas on the back porch with Summer and Mike, so I open the sliding glass door.
“Thomas, can I have a word with you?” My voice is quiet, but I can’t hide my irritation and probably not my sadness either.
“Sure.” Before he can get up and move, Summer and Mike stand and pass by me to go inside. I push the door closed and sit on the chair next to his and look out at the water.
“I’m going to rent a car and take Gavin back to my place. I can’t deal with this right now. I’m so sorry for his behavior. He’s never this rude or moody.”
“What’s going on?” he asks, his voice soft. It’s obvious he’s trying to be understanding.
“I don’t know, but he says he doesn’t like you. I know you’ve done everything you can to make him like you and he’s not budging for some reason. I just know that even as pissed as I am at him right now, I have to take his feelings into consideration. Maybe introducing you to him right after the drama in Miami wasn’t a good idea. I’m not sure if it’s an emotional issue or something else, but I don’t think I can date you, no matter how much I want to. He’s been the most important part of my life for eight years and I can’t push that aside right now because I met someone I care about. He has to come first. Gavin may get over it and he may not, but until he does, I can’t ask you to wait for me. I’m so sorry you’ve gone to all this trouble for us and it turned out so awful. If I could hit rewind, I never would have come with you. I hate how he’s treated you.”
“I’m a grown man, so although I’m not happy about how things have gone down, I can handle it. I don’t want you to go but if you need to, then I understand. However, you aren’t renting a car. I’ll take you. I just ask that you let me have a few words with him before we leave.”
“I’m not sure that’s a good idea.”
“I’m not going to be mean to him or try to punish him. I just want to make a few things clear.”
“Talking to him and driving us home sets you up for the possibility of more crap from my kid.” My eyes burn from fighting tears and I can feel a headache coming on.
“It’s a chance I’m willing to take. There are a few things he needs to hear from me and as far as driving you home, I want to make sure you get into your place without issue in case there are still reporters waiting.”
I turn toward him and reach up to his jaw, running my fingers softly down the stubble there. “You’re a good man, Thomas Wade.” Before I change my mind, I kiss him softly and head to the bedroom to gather our things. Once our stuff is ready, I motion for Thomas to go into the bedroom and say what he needs to before we leave. When Thomas comes out, followed by a sulky Gavin, I say goodbye to everyone. Then we climb in the truck and head south, officially breaking my heart.
14
Thomas
There are times when life makes no sense to me. I thought that the biggest issue I would face if I pursued Simone was going to be attitude from her when she’s under a lot of stress. It never occurred to me that her son might not like me. I’ve always prided myself on being great with kids. But I didn’t have a chance with him. Gavin took one look at me and decided that he wanted nothing to do with me. I’m not sure what their family dynamics are or how he took to his stepmom when she first came around, but I never had a chance.
Although, to be honest, I’m not sure if I want one if he’s often like that. If I ever acted like he did as a kid my dad would have whooped my butt. No excuse would have been good enough to act the way he did. I understand that his mom was in was a hostage situation and his aunt Luci was shot and he was overwhelmed by those things, but his reaction still seemed extreme.
Simone said she couldn’t ask me to wait for her and I won’t, but what she doesn’t understand is that I wasn’t exactly looking when she came along on any of the three occasions I found her. I’ve haven’t been on the prowl in a long time. The only reason I decided to push for more with her all of a sudden is because she turned me on, pissed me off and made me want to protect her, all in ways I’ve never felt those things before. How do you just walk away from the chemistry and the pull we have toward each other over the attitude of an eight-year-old boy? The only person I know who might understand is my mom. She not only raised my brother, my sister and me, but she also pretty much raised Summer and we all turned out pretty good.
I’m staying with my parents for about anot
her week, but don’t really want to make this a topic of discussion with both my parents, so I text my mom.
Can I take you to dinner tomorrow? Just you and me?
It doesn’t take her more than a minute to answer. Sure. Everything okay?
She knows me so well. Yeah, but I need your help to make sense of something.
Okay. See you at Pane Rustica at 6:00. Will that work?
Yeah, that’s good. See you then.
After a restless night of sleep and a busy day apartment hunting, I pull into the parking lot at Pane Rustica and see that my mom is already here. Punctuality is her thing for sure. My mom and I have always been close, not in a way that we can’t cut the cord, so to speak, but in a way that shows mutual respect and love. She’s got that with all of us kids, including Summer. When I spot her smiling face, relief filters through my system and I know that everything will be alright in the end…even if I don’t get the girl.
She’s already seated and when I approach, she stands and hugs me like she didn’t see me over coffee this morning. “You’ve got me curious, Tommy. What’s going on?”
I chuckle. “Let me order a beer and then I’ll fill you in.”
She waves for the server, obviously too impatient to wait for her to return on her own. The server comes over, takes my order and skitters away.
“Do you know Simone Sayer?” I query.
“Summer’s friend? The writer?”
“Yeah.” I nod as I take the beer from the waitress when she returns and I tell her to give us a little bit before we order. She nods and takes off again.
“Can I just be blunt about everything?”
“Of course. You can tell me anything,” she reminds me as she leans forward on her forearms to listen more intently.
I go on to fill my mom in on almost everything. I don’t say that we had a one-night stand out of respect for Simone, but I do mention that we had amazing chemistry when we met the first time. My story includes the Miami drama and the Gavin-is-a-brat mess and finishes with the conversation I had with Simone on the back porch before I drove her home. My mom’s eyes never leave mine and at each change in the story my mom either smiles, grimaces or frowns.
When I finish, she says, “Let’s order our food. Give me a minute to process everything you just told me.”
I nod and pull out the menu. Once we place our order, I sit back in my chair and take a slug of my beer and wait. My mom also sits back with a sigh before she proceeds.
“There are a lot of parts to the story you just told me, so let me break down my response. First, I’ve met Simone on several occasions and I like her. She’s beautiful, talented and confident. Absolutely perfect for you. You’ve always needed a woman who is independent and passionate. Instead you always brought around the needy, insecure ones. You’re too much man to settle for a weak woman.
“Second, I remember Summer talking about Simone’s divorce and custody battle. It hasn’t been easy for her. She’s put that boy at the top of her list since the moment she found out she was pregnant, which is the way it’s supposed to be and something I admire about her. The problem with that is, because he’s been her priority since she’s been divorced and Gavin hasn’t had to share her with anyone else—not siblings and not boyfriends—he doesn’t know how to share her. When Simone’s friends are around, they pay attention to him too, which means they don’t divide her attention from him, so he’s not jealous of the women.
“Because you’re the first man she’s ever introduced him to, he saw you as a threat. I’ll bet a million dollars that when he watched the news with his dad, he heard like the rest of us that you’re the one that saved his mom. That makes you an adversary. It’s not rational, but he’s eight years old, so it’s not going to be.
“It seems to me from the way you tell the story, Gavin had some fun with you in Crystal River and put a stop to it when he realized he was letting himself enjoy your company. He doesn’t hate you, but he wants to. Simone is a good mother so I’m sure she has dealt with his behavior now that they’re home, but probably not how your father or I would have done it.”
She shrugs one shoulder and takes a drink of her wine before continuing. “But then again, times have changed and spanking is no longer acceptable. It was a good idea that you didn’t step in and try to bargain with him or even discipline him; that would only lead to trouble.”
“I talked to Gavin before they left, alone.”
“What did you say?” She cocks her head to the side, curious.
“I sat down on the bed next to him. He was spitting mad, Mom. I told him that I’m sorry their visit didn’t work out and that I care a lot about his mom and wish he would give me a chance. He didn’t budge. In fact I think it made him madder that I didn’t go in there and yell at him or something. The last thing I said to him was that I wanted him and his mom to be happy. Then I left it at that.”
“Did you tell Simone what you said to him or could she hear you?”
“I didn’t tell her. I doubt she could hear us, but I don’t know. I felt like I had to say something to him, but rationalizing with a kid that young isn’t easy.”
“Believe me, I know.” She grins at me over her glass of wine and then surprises me with what she says next. “I don’t think you should give up, but I also don’t think you should pressure her. Do you love her?”
“It’s too early to say for sure, but I can tell you that I care about her and can see a future with her that I haven’t been able to see with anyone else prior to meeting her,” I confess.
“That’s fair. It’s also worth exploring. So my suggestion is to send her a text and let her know that you’re thinking about her. Wait a few days and ask her how she’s doing. Try texting and a soft approach from a distance and see how that goes. Don’t give up unless she tells you there’s no hope. Don’t stalk her and freak her out, but let her know in little ways that you aren’t going anywhere.”
About that time my mom’s blackened shrimp and my seared salmon are placed in front of us. When the server leaves, my mom lifts her glass and I follow suit and we clink glasses as she says, “To my son, still needing his mother.” I roll my eyes and she laughs. We’ve always been pretty tight so I try to think about myself in Gavin’s shoes and I’m not sure I would’ve acted much different.
15
Simone
The last week has been tough. Gavin’s been moodier than usual, even after we got past his punishment for being a little turd when we were with Thomas. Puberty doesn’t come this young, does it? I hope not. I’m not quite prepared for it and I can’t imagine things getting much worse at this point.
For the first time in a long time, Gavin is reluctant to go to his dad’s house and I can’t figure out why. He’s usually the kid who likes the change of going back and forth. This time we fought about it and he even tried to get out of the car at school drop off while he was still crying about it. I have no idea where all this emotion he’s been displaying is coming from. I haven’t said a word about Thomas and everything else has been normal at our house since that trip. Even the reporters disappeared the day after we came back from Crystal River.
The good thing about Gavin being gone and writing with a broken heart is that I seem to be writing deeper and pouring more emotion into this story than the last one, so that’s going to make it really good. I keep thinking about Thomas. No, that’s not right. I keep obsessing about Thomas. I’m cataloging everything I miss about him. Sure, we don’t know each other well and we didn’t get a ton of time together, but when someone is right for you, you just feel it all the way to the marrow of your bones.
When I lie in bed at night, I think about how he touched me, how me moved inside me and how he held me when the sex was over. My ex-husband never held me that close or that long when we were done. He always gave me a peck on the cheek and rolled over to snore like a freight train. Thomas has the best arms. They seem to take the weight of the world away and they did just that for me after Luci was s
hot.
That’s not the only or main time he crosses my mind either. I had my music on shuffle yesterday while I was writing and “The Dock of the Bay” filtered through the speakers, and my brain automatically shifted to the long ride home with Thomas. I wish I could go back to those couple of hours and listen to his voice and experience his laughter all over again.
The time with him was so short and so strange compared to every other day of my life that it almost feels like some crazy dream. Seriously, a one-night stand, a horrible blind date, a hostage situation, and a bratty kid who ruins what could be a perfect weekend. How do all those things happen in real life or even in just a few weeks’ time?
Groaning, I lean back in my chair and run my fingers through my hair. I need to stop thinking about Thomas and get to writing. My phone dings, indicating a text message. I flip it over and gasp. It’s from Thomas.
“Just want you to know I’m thinking of you.”
My fingers tap on the desk next to my phone, itching to reply and tell him I’ve thought of nothing else but him since he dropped us off, but I can’t lead him on. Whatever is going on with Gavin isn’t going to settle down any time soon so I need to ignore the text and go back to writing. I slide my finger over the text, prepared to delete it, but something tells me not too—probably the sadistic part of my brain that craves pain or something.
It’s been two weeks since I last saw Thomas and my heart doesn’t ache any less than before. Gavin has been back from his dad’s again for several days and is worse than when I dropped him off. Things are so bad that I even got a call from his teacher today saying he’s being sent home with a note.
After the call from the teacher, I start the spaghetti sauce and leave it on simmer while I go pick him up. When we return, Gavin goes straight to his room, drops his book bag and comes back to the living room. The television pops on and he flops on the couch. This is not our normal routine. The rule is homework comes first and then he can watch television. I set the pot full of water on the stove to boil for noodles, walk out to the living room, grab the remote and turn off the television. “Mooooommm,” Gavin whines.