A lump built up in my throat. I struggled to breathe. Did she blame me for this? Had she thought I abandoned her like Mother?
“Claire!” I yelled.
She jumped but remained silent, trying to refocus on the papers. I no longer desired to face her, but I had no other options. Ezra had left me, and I knew we needed each other. Father’s death could not put a wedge between us.
I opened my mouth, and finally Claire looked directly at me.
“Did you find Nina?” she asked calmly.
I contorted my face, debating whether this was a rhetorical question. She had found out from Jessalin about the attack on our lives, and she had given the order for us to come home. I barely had any time in between the commotion to find our mother. I wondered what kind of answer she wanted from me.
In a whisper I said, “No.”
She shook her head and wiped her eyes.
“I hope you thanked Circe for your life. You were nearly killed out there looking for a woman who doesn’t love you,” she replied bitterly.
I bit down on my lip. I could see the rage in her eyes. I could see the color in her cheeks. Who knew how long she had spent crying on this day, but now rage fueled her every action.
“Claire, I’m sorry. I should have stayed,” I said, inching closer to her.
She crossed her arms.
“Do you have any idea what it was like? Do you? To wake up and find out your father is dead? Meanwhile my sister off on another island, looking for the mother who lied to us. Imagine how that felt, Clara!”
Tears formed in my eyes. Without knowing what else to say or do, I rushed to her and wrapped my arms around her. I cried into her shoulder, and though at first she did nothing, she finally embraced me. She formed a fist, gently hitting my back, and finally broke down into tears.
I buried my face into her robe, sobbing and apologizing. I could feel her tears dripping down my back as well.
I cried until my body could not produce any more tears. Once I stopped she seemed to as well, and I finally released her and looked at her tear-painted face.
“I do not so easily forgive you, Clara, but on this day… For Father’s sake, I will,” she said, frowning.
I sighed and dared to ask the question I feared the most.
“How?” I asked in a whisper.
She grimaced and in a word confirmed my greatest fears.
“Murder.”
The word sounded foreign to me. Perhaps I had misheard or misunderstood. Murder? Someone murdered our father? My thoughts raced to Elias and Alesia, but neither of them were still living.
I thought back to Ren, how I had found his lifeless body in the dungeon. Did a murderer remain on the loose?
“Murder? Are you certain?”
The words left my lips before I could realize the weight of them. More questions consumed my mind as I waited for Claire’s response. Had she been the one to find him? That kind of discovery would surely scar someone for the rest of their life. Had she not suffered enough already?
“Yes, he was stabbed. It was most likely the work of a professional,” she said.
Her calmness alarmed me. The idea of a ‘professional’ doing this left me to wonder who else Elias had been in contact with prior to his death. We had not been able to determine how far his support extended.
“Who knows?”
“The Council and the Watchers. I wanted to ensure your return before making the news public. There’s so much that needs to be done. I must take his place, prepare for the funeral, lock down traveling between the islands. I—”
“Claire, slow down,” I said.
“I can’t! Father was my world. When I believed you and Nina to be dead he was my everything. Now I must live in a world without him. Our people must live in a society without him. This cannot be a slow process. We need a leader to guide us, and Father left that job for me.”
I stood up and paced.
“I will find who did this. I promise you,” I said, forming my hands into fists.
“Not alone. First, the funeral… then we find the killer,” she replied firmly.
I nodded, but I could not sleep soundly at night knowing a murderer roamed freely. Someone perhaps even more evil than Isaak had done this to my father. Now they would pay the price. Claire did not want me to work alone, but I already knew two men who could aid me. Two men who had already killed on my behalf before.
“Where… is he?” I asked, gulping.
She rubbed her temple. “I can take you to see him.”
Then in a whisper she added, “If you’re ready.”
Another tear rolled down my cheek. Of course I was not ready. I never wanted to be ready to see my father’s lifeless body. It was a child’s worst nightmare come to life. I also knew it to be the only way of accepting his death. To accept that nothing and no one, no amount of magic or faith, would bring him back to us.
I nodded my head before I could convince myself otherwise.
Claire stood up, wrapping her arms around herself, and walked in front of me. I wondered where the others were, why we were alone, but they too mourned a great loss. Everyone here had worked with my father, day in and day out. They had years of memories while my time with him felt like a sliver of a minute.
We walked together in silence to see our father again. To see him for what might be the last time. To see him in a way he would have never wanted us to witness.
I thought I had escaped death in Rajoor, but one life had been traded for another. I lived to see another day, but my father had paid the price.
6
Phoenix
Father’s body lay on a wooden table.
Claire had led me to a room I never knew existed. We stood in a room with his body and a doctor. The doctor waited for our approval to unveil the body. The blood had stained through the white fabric that covered him.
“Ready?” Claire asked, looking directly at me.
I hesitated, but both of them stared at me, waiting for me to give my permission. I nodded as slowly as I could, wondering how much longer I could drag this out. How could I be ready for this?
The healer lowered the fabric enough for us to see the face and chest.
I knelt over, vomited, and held my stomach, moaning between wretches. How did Claire remain strong though all of this?
When I was certain I had finished I straightened my back and moved away from the vomit. I dared to look at my father again.
I avoided looking at his face and instead stared at his chest where a wound remained evident. Someone had stabbed him directly in the heart. It seemed they had used a weapon instead of magic so a Watcher could not track their movement. They had most likely done it while he had been asleep so he could not fight back.
This was no coincidence that someone in my family had been targeted again. Would me, Claire or Mother be next to fall as victims?
“Clara, there’s something else you should know,” Claire said.
I looked away from my father’s body.
“They found a wilted rose in Father’s room. It was… lying in the blood. Someone left it there… to mock us,” she said with her nostrils flaring.
To mock us… I thought, remembering how I had received notes about Claire’s disappearance.
I stared at blood that had tainted the white cloth. As bizarre as this murder was the fact the murderer left something behind told me two things. One, the murderer knew their audience, who they wanted to hurt. And two, they wanted to make a statement. Everything from the time our father would be killed down to the wilted rose had been planned.
“Clara?”
Claire’s voice snapped me back into reality. While Claire faced the consequences of a death I worked on compiling the evidence, trying to put together the pieces of the puzzle. Except we did not have all the pieces to the puzzle yet. This was no kidnapping. Murder was a different line entirely that had been crossed.
“You were right, this was done by a professional,” I said, shuddering
at the realization.
Claire inhaled deeply.
“There’s something else you must know. Zachariah here,” she said, pointing at the doctor, “was present when they examined Ren’s body. He was poisoned… It seems he consumed the petals of a white rose. The petals are deadly. I’m… I’m sorry, I know you were close to him,” Claire explained.
I stared at Father’s body. His death had happened so soon after Ren’s, and Claire was right. I had been close to both of them.
My mind wandered, trying to understand how or why Ren had consumed something so deadly. He had known white roses to be deadly, but he had also threatened me with one. Had he been desperate enough to hide his secrets to kill himself? Or had someone else forced it down his throat?
At my silence, Claire continued, “The Council reconvenes tonight. Everyone will have their role to play in ensuring we do not lose control of the island. As for now, I must find Lukas. He and the other Watchers need to ensure no one leaves the islands for the time being,” Claire said.
“What should I do?” I asked.
“Stay with Ezra. I trust he will protect you. Do nothing foolish, Clara,” she said firmly. She stared me down momentarily, as if debating whether I had already set a plan in action.
I winced, and she turned around and approached the door.
In a whisper, I said, “I”m so sorry…”
She opened the door and left without another word. I feared I would be repeating that sentence countless times to her. Though she had stopped yelling at me I believed she still blamed me just as I blamed Mother. It was too much to take in.
I faced my father again. The doctor ignored me entirely, continuing on with mixing together a potion of some sort in the background and humming to himself.
I knelt down, closed my eyes, and laid my head against Father’s body. I did something I had not done in a long time, something I still had my doubts about.
I prayed.
I prayed to Circe, and this time when I prayed to her I meant every word. I doubted a goddess would help me find a killer, but it seemed like the right thing to do at a time like this.
First Claire’s kidnapping and now my father’s murder. Elias and Alesia were dead, but it seemed they had triggered a set of tragic events to conspire.
I thought about the men who had attacked us in Rajoor. Were they part of a conspiracy that Elias had started? Would they finish the work he had begun? Elias had proved to be heartless enough to kill if necessary.
Perhaps the men from the tavern had been fueled with a desire for revenge. Though Elias was dead, perhaps his death had ignited a larger fire.
I will find your killer, Father. No matter the cost, I will find the person responsible. I thought, squeezing my eyes shut tightly.
“Clara, it’s me,” a familiar voice said.
I opened my eyes and glanced back. Gemma stood in the doorway dressed in a black gown. I gulped at the realization for why she had come for me. Claire had warned me the Council would reconvene tonight, but I had not left my father’s side. I could not bear the thought of leaving him. I had already left him once before. I could not do it again.
“Come, I will help you dress,” she said gently.
She held out her hand, and I stared at her blankly. This had not been the way I wanted to return to Gemma. This was not how I wanted the others to see me. It seemed cruel to have Claire run a meeting tonight while our father’s body laid lifeless.
“I… can’t,” I whispered.
Gemma inched closer and said, “You will be amongst friends. Claire needs you. We need you.”
I stood up, wobbling as if holding up the full weight of my body was too much for me. I took her hand, wrapping my arm around hers, and took one last look at Father. My father. The only one I had known, the one I would never have again. The one I was now being forced to live without for the remainder of my years.
Gemma led me out of the room, and I tightened my grip on her arm. I wanted to scream at the top of my lungs. I wanted to break something.
“Don’t do anything foolish…”
That was exactly what I wanted to do. I had lived twenty years without my father, and shortly after our reunion someone had ripped away our future together. He would never see his daughters marry or meet his grandchildren. He had been stripped from his right to grow old.
We reached the guest bedroom, the one Ezra had taken me to during my recovery. I supposed now with Claire’s permanent return this would be my room. It still seemed foreign to me like I did not belong here.
Gemma released me and approached the closet, searching through the dresses.
I bit down on my lip until I tasted blood. Meanwhile Gemma held up a black dress to me and gestured for me to put it on. She spun me around, unlacing the back of the dress I currently wore. I slipped out of it slowly, allowing her to do the majority of the work.
I was a child again, depending on my mother to help with my clothes. Except my mother had never been very dependable. I had gotten dressed all on my own countless times.
At last Gemma turned me to face the mirror.
The dress was long, and the top featured black lace around the collarbone. The long sleeves felt warm against my skin, reminding me despite how numb I felt I was still alive. I was more alive than my father ever would be again.
I stared at my reflection, watching as Gemma combed my hair back and braided it neatly. She swung the braid over my shoulder, seemingly pleased with the makeover.
No amount of dresses or perfect hair could hide what I saw in my face, however. My eyes were swollen, my mouth seemed to be stuck in a permanent frown.
Gemma squeezed my shoulder and turned me around, forcing me to look at her. Her familiar face was more comforting than that of my own reflection, the reflection of a woman I did not recognize anymore.
Firmly, she said, “You are Clara Kanelos. You are strong, loyal, and smart. You are a fire, a storm, a force that should not be reckoned with. This is who you are. Don’t let your despair on this day tell you otherwise.”
I offered a weak smile, remembering she had told me something similar when we first met. Only this time she told me who I was, not Claire. This time she believed in me, and if nothing else perhaps I could hold onto her words. It was what Father would have wanted.
“Now come,” she said, releasing me. “We should not be late.”
We stepped out into the hallway. The palace was not as silent anymore. I could hear the chatter of people nearby. I half expected to hear Father’s voice amongst them. I kept looking ahead with each step we made, inching closer to the meeting room, half expecting to see my father standing at the entrance.
He wasn’t there.
Gemma led me into the meeting room, and for the first time since my return I was reunited with everyone in the Council.
I released Gemma’s arm and joined Declan, who sat in the back row of the seats, waiting for me to take my spot beside him. His eyes were still red, bloodshot, and the smell of alcohol reeked from his new attire. I wondered if Claire knew he had been drinking within the palace walls. What recklessness were we prone to on a day of overwhelming grief.
I scanned the Council table, which had suffered great losses recently. Three seats remained empty, those that had once belonged to Elias, Alesia, and Jhase. While Elias and Alesia had been more harmful than helpful to the Council, the impact of their death was not lost on me. Their death meant two more seats that needed to be filled, and amongst all the faces in the room I did not see Maceo’s return.
Everyone took their assigned seats, and the room became quieter than usual. I noticed Bellona amongst the councilors. Last I had seen her she was burdened with her husband’s affair and his sudden death. She avoided eye contact with me, but she seemed calmer. For the first time she and I had a lot more in common. We both lost someone special to us. We both felt pain, and now I would know for myself what burden death was to carry.
Another face on the Council caught my attention: A
lec. He sat in his designated seat like nothing had changed, but he and I both knew that was far from the truth. Claire had promised him freedom from this job and this island. It seemed that promise was not guaranteed. My father was dead, Claire was in control of the Council now, yet Alec remained.
Then there was Dorian. He had been a more recent addition to the Council, but he too had been affected by my father’s death. His eyes wandered from one face to another at the table as if assessing the damage that had been done.
“Hello there,” Lukas whispered to me as he entered into the room, taking the empty seat beside me.
He placed his hand on my leg and squeezed gently. I stared at him in a different light. He had killed and buried his own father. He and Bellona, despite the tragedy, were here today. Perhaps not all fatherless children were lost. Perhaps they understood better than anyone what a tragedy like this did to a family.
I returned my gaze to the table, realizing there were at least four of us here without a father. Claire and myself, Lukas, and Ezra. We all had lost something precious in our life. Something a child should not have to lose, yet we had no control over.
“Attention!” Claire yelled, clapping her hands together.
Ezra and Gemma took their seats, and I finally looked to my sister. She stood at them wont of the table as she had during past trials. She too had changed since I last saw her. Someone had combed through her dark hair, now allowing it to flow over her shoulders in a more gracious manner, and she wore a black gown with sleeves that showed her shoulders.
Everyone in the room wore black. The room was decorated as it had been when we lost Elias. Tonight we grieved another loss, a much greater and tragic loss.
Claire had stood in front of Father’s chair before, but tonight was different. Tonight would be the beginning of a new era for all of us. As quickly as one leader had fallen, another one emerged from the ashes.
Clara and Ezra Page 4