I shuddered at the memory of the flames we saw in town. Stefan knew it too. The recent murders left the locals looking for someone to blame, and until Claire caught Stefan they would not rest.
“I can help with the wedding,” I said.
Claire shook her head.
“No. Stefan or ones of his allies are likely to strike on my wedding day. You and Lukas are to ensure the wedding is heavily guarded. Alas, my wedding might still lure out a killer,” she replied.
Declan sighed.
“This isn’t right, Clara! Funerals and weddings have been overlooked in fear of a killer still on the loose. With or without Stefan locked away, we’ll have to open the ports again to the public. Sooner rather than later. They need to travel again. They need to hold onto what little of their ordinary lives remains,” he said.
“Keep the spots guarded that way we know who’s traveling and to where,” I chimed in.
“Yes, you are both right,” Claire said, though her eyes wandered.
“Claire, see to it that Alec’s body is removed from the foyer. Then go with Dorian to fetch Cedric. That boy needs his mother, especially today. And Gem will need her son before she says goodbye to Alec,” she added.
Declan and I exchanged glances, and I simply nodded in response. She waved me off, though as I left I noticed Declan remained in the room. The joy of bringing a baby into this world was clouded by the havoc Stefan caused.
I made my way back to the foyer, though to no surprise Alec’s body had not been removed. Gemma remained holding him while the others continued to watch and whisper to one another. Perhaps it was the shock that left them unable to think clearly. Alec, like my father, would never come back from this. I would have to convince Gemma to let him go before I could bring her child here.
My eyes fell on Ezra. during all of the commotion I had not gained a moment to tell him about Ahna’s death. Surely he was aware of it by now, but he hadn’t been there with the rest of us. He had not seen her body lay in a room amongst assassins. And he did not know what she had meant to us, to our mission. She had saved Lukas’s life.
Ahna’s child had not been with Claire. I assumed he remained in the nursery, and I doubted Claire would have left him unguarded. Even so, I needed reassurance that no harm would come to that baby. If nothing else Ahna would have wanted Emrys to survive.
I approached Ezra and squeezed his arm.
In a whisper, I asked, “Will you go to the nursery, and check on Ahna’s baby? I’ll have Lukas tighten security around the palace. Stefan will likely attack while we’re vulnerable.”
“Of course,” he replied. He kissed me on the forehead and hurried to the staircase without hesitation.
I refocused my attention on Gemma. She continued to cry and rock Alec’s body back and forth. I had already seen several families destroyed because of Stefan’s bloodlust. I could not let what remained of Gemma’s to fall victim.
It pained me to see her like this, remembering all too well how it felt. I also remembered the regrets she had revealed about ruining her marriage. Alec had never been a bad husband or father. And despite his own beliefs, he had never truly lost the woman he loved. He had simply stopped fighting for her.
“Gemma…” I said, moving closer to her.
I knelt down and placed my hand on her shoulder. She groaned and moved back, tugging Alec’s body with her.
“Gemma, please… We have to bury him. He deserves a proper burial. Let him go. You can visit him again… anytime you like. He’s gone from this world, but he’s still here in these walls. He won’t be forgotten.”
“Your mother killed him!” she screamed, sobbing.
I sat down on the floor. Her words weighed me down, like a boulder had just been placed on my back. But she was right. My own flesh and blood had killed Alec. Nina had even confessed to it. She had possibly killed my father as well. But like Claire, perhaps I needed to separate my mother from the person Nina had become.
Nina Nasso was a killer. She would face the death penalty for the level of treason she had committed. She could no longer be my mother after the events of today. Not to me, not to Claire or Daphne, and certainly not to anyone else.
In a whisper, I said, “She was my mother… but not anymore.”
42
Keeping a Promise
Gemma cut into a wound that had not healed. She sat beside me with Alec’s corpse while my mother remained alive in the dungeon.
I hated my mother. It was more than any kind of resentment I had carried for her in the past. This was more than her controlling my life, hiding my magic, refusing my freedom.
I was a woman now, and I finally saw Nina for who she was. The history between us did not blind me from the blood on her hands. She would die for her crimes, and death seemed like a kind sentence. She would not experience the loss of someone close to her. But who was close to her? Stefan? Her allies? Nina had lost herself in a quest for power.
Calmly, I said, “I have to bring Cedric here. He doesn’t know what’s happened to his father. Do you want him to see this?”
“No!” Gemma screamed, loosing her grip on Alec.
I extended my hand out, offering it to her.
“Come here. Sit with me. Let the men take Alec. Let us bring Cedric to you so he can be with his mother. Please, Gemma, don’t let him see this.”
Sniffing, Gemma said, “I will ensure your mother dies for this, Clara. She will die! But before she dies I will find what she loves and crush it.”
She let go, and without waiting, Lukas and Dorian lifted Alec’s body.
Gemma laid down, throwing her head on my legs. She continued sobbing, and I watched as the men carried Alec upstairs.
I tried not to think about the words Gemma said. The sad truth was my mother would die without anyone left to love. I didn’t know who matter to her anymore. I had once believed she cared for me, but we both knew that was far from the truth.
Once the men carried Alec out of sight I struggled to help Gemma stand. Bellona offered assistance and together the three of us ascended the staircase. None of us said a word. I did not have the words, not for Gemma’s loss and not for Bellona’s suffering. Tonight and the days that would follow would weigh heavy on everyone.
I led Gemma to my bedroom, and Bellona left to fetch a dress for her to wear to the funeral. Alec’s funeral would be a private one, and I doubted word of his death would be shared with the locals until the morning.
I could only pray that no one from Stefan’s alliance would try anything while we mourned our loss. Hopefully Stefan would be preoccupied. Whatever numbers he had on his side, he had still lost people today. One of which, Nina, I imagined would be a heavy loss. They had tried to rescue her, and now I doubted they would try for a second time. She was lost to them.
Gemma sat on my bed, crouched over and sobbing. I decided against saying anything, remembering that I might not be the person she wanted to be with at the moment. Despite the fact that I had done nothing wrong, I was directly related to the woman responsible for Alec’s death.
Gemma had to be thinking it too. Everyone was thinking it. And despite Claire’s relation, she shared no pity or love for Nina. She had believed Nina to be did for twenty years. Tomorrow her old belief would be a fact.
Come on, Bellona. I thought, listening to Gemma’s cries.
As much as I wanted to support Gemma, I thought only of leaving the room. I needed to breathe, and I felt as though I would suffocate if I spent many more time in this room. I could not find the courage to tell Gemma I was leaving. I barley felt in control of my own body. One moment I was standing, staring at the door, and the next moment I was closing the door behind me and letting out a sigh in the hallway.
The hallway was empty. It was silent again as it had been when Father passed. I leaned against the wall, depending on it for support, though slowly I began to fall. I wobbled until I sat on the floor, breathing like there was a lack of oxygen. Breathing, breathing, and breathing… b
ut I had no idea what it was to lose that privilege entirely.
The floorboards creaked, and I looked up, expected to see Bellona. Instead it was Ezra, who frowned and joined beside me. I did not have the words for him either. I rested my head on his shoulder, and he wrapped his arm around my waist.
“That could have been Dorian or me or… you,” I whispered.
He squeezed his hand tighter against my dress.
“Stefan is good at what he does. He might be the best man for the line of ‘work,’ but he makes mistakes. He entrusted people like Kade and Nina —people with secrets. We will find him, Clara, I promise you that,” he said firmly.
I half believed him. But then I thought about Lukas, Father, and Alec —all people inside the Council who Stefan had attacked with seemingly no trouble at all.
I thought about Claire’s wedding and her unborn child. I doubted Stefan would idly sit by while Claire married the love of her life. Attempts on her life had already been made in the past.
“You know how I feel about promises,” I said.
“Then allow me to make a promise I can keep. I promise to love you till my dying breath. I promise to be with you through the brightest and darkest days of our life,” he replied.
“How can you—”
“Marry me,” he said.
I lifted my head away from his shoulder and looked at him. Alec had died today. They had arrested my mother again. And somehow Ezra managed to propose marriage despite all of this. He had not been present at the manor to see my magic brutally kill a man. If I didn’t know who I was anymore, how could he be so certain?
“Ezra… my magic is dark. I killed a man to save Lukas. My mother is involved with killers. How could you possibly think of marrying me?” I asked, wiping a tear from my eye.
Footsteps approached, and I glanced over to see Bellona as she entered into my bedroom. She did not question why Ezra and I remained in the hallway while Gemma was on her own. Gemma had lost a man she loved while I was still able to hold onto mine.
Ezra chuckled, caressing my face.
“Your magic does not scare me. We’ve seen our loved ones die. Jhase and Alec… Their loss has reminded me our time in this life is limited. I believe we’ll catch Stefan, but I fear who else may die before that happens. Our lives are constantly being threatened. If I should die, I want to die knowing you have my last name,” he said.
I stared down at the ring on my hand. I did not know whether to laugh or cry. Marriage had never been a possibility with Ren. Nina had controlled my life during that time. I also realized I no longer had anyone to give me away. My father was dead and soon my mother would join him. This decision was entirely mine and mine alone. The kind of decision most women my age would die for.
“Marrying you would be the best decision I ever made,” I whispered.
“Then what’s stopping us?”
I opened my mouth, but he leaned forward and kissed me. I could think of numerous things stopping us. The fact that tonight we buried a friend and tomorrow sentenced my mother. Claire’s wedding would be arranged with haste now that she carried a child. We would have to ensure our wedding did not overshadow hers. I had no dress, no idea of when we would marry, and no experience as a wife.
Somehow the touch of his soft lips against mine made those reasons fade. They faded, but Ezra and I both knew we could not run from these questions, from these problems on the horizon.
Ezra pulled away from my lips, and I found myself longing for him. I longed to kiss him again, to tell him I loved him, and to be in his arms. I looked into his eyes, and I knew despite the darkness in this world he was right. Did we have to wait for everything to be perfect to have each other? Would our timing ever be appropriate?
He cleared his throat, and I realized I had not given him a direct answer. He asked a lot of me, and I did not know after the events of today if I was mentally fit to answer him. We had lost so much, but through it all we still had each other. I did not want to die at the hands of Stefan without having Ezra as my own.
I smiled and said, “I love you. Of course I’ll marry you.”
His face lit up and he kissed me again, this time more quickly. He stood up and offered his hand, helping me to my feet. I felt my heart pounding against my chest. Bellona was in the room behind us with Gemma, doing the job I was supposed to be doing.
We had a funeral to attend, but for this moment, however long it may last, I felt alive. Ezra and I had something that Stefan could not kill with weapons or magic.
Ezra kissed my forehead and whispered, “We should get ready for tonight. See you soon, my love. Be careful.”
He turned around and walked to his room. I stood still, watching as he entered the room and shut the door behind him. I did not want him to go. I did not want to go anywhere tonight. I wanted to stay in his arms, the last safe place in this world.
I sighed and accepted tonight I could not be so selfish. I knocked on the bedroom door and waited. It was time to face the darkness.
43
Already Dead
Dressed in all black, I stood in the same room where I had visited my father’s corpse. This time Alec laid on the table. They had placed a white piece of fabric over his body. Everyone stood around the table, huddled together in the small room. Claire had decided an inside funeral was the safest way to mourn Alec without interference.
Gemma stood across the table from me with Cedric. He was a handsome boy with hair like his father’s. He sucked on his thumb, staring at the body in front of him. Unlike his mother, whose face was painted with tears, he did not appear to be crying at all. Perhaps he was too little to understand his loss. Gemma had explained the tragedy to Cedric privately.
I stood with Ezra on one side of me and Lukas on the other. These men were the closest thing I had to family besides Claire. I shuddered for a moment, thinking who this could have been any one of us lying o the table tonight. It just so happened to be Alec.
“I will always be there when you need me…”
I bit down on my lip, remembering what Alec had said in Rajoor. He had said we were family too. He had stayed on with the Council, despite his own desires.
Ezra brushed his hand against mine, and I allowed our hands to intertwine. Perhaps it was inappropriate for a funeral, but it felt innocent and comforting.
Everyone stood silently, taking in the reality of it. Alec was gone from this world. He was free from his duties as a councilor, but his freedom had come at a price. He was the reason Dorian stood with us here today, alive and well. He was the reason Nina had been captured. Alec’s sacrifice had saved not one, but perhaps countless lives tonight. There was no telling what Stefan would have done had he been reunited with Nina.
The funeral ended and everyone said their goodbyes to Alec one last time. Amongst everyone else in the room I had known him for the shortest amount of time. I had once accused him of kidnapping Claire, and more recently I had dared to think of him as a murdered. Instead he had been the most harmless man I knew. He had been true and loyal to the very end. He had told me his secrets, and now he lay to rest with them.
Everyone left the room except for Gemma and Cedric, who stayed behind, holding each other. Not even Dorian stayed behind, and I could not blame him. Gemma needed space.
I walked the hallway with Ezra at my side. Alec’s funeral did not distract me from what awaited my mother tomorrow. She was locked in the dungeon for the time being, but come tomorrow nothing could save her. I could not pity her as she had brought this upon herself. Instead I pitied myself and Claire. We would lose yet another parent.
And Daphne… I thought, remembering her accusations. Perhaps I pitied her too if she truly shared a relation to Nina. She had come to the palace seeking answers, but I wondered if she knew all the hid behind Nina’s mask.
“Here you are,” Ezra said, stopping in front of my bedroom.
“Good night,” I whispered, forcing a smile.
He let go of my hand, and I entered
my room as quickly as possible.
Tonight I would sleep without him, and I, like Gemma, needed the space. I needed to lay in the darkness and imagine a world without Nina. The woman who had raised me on her own for twenty years. The woman who had turned out to be more of a monster than Isaak. Though she wasn’t dead, I had to accept my mother, the one I had known, was already dead.
The woman we would sentence tomorrow was filled with darkness. She had no family, no morals, and perhaps no one who would miss her when she was gone.
I had to believe our world would be better without her living in it.
In the morning I still dressed in black. I mourned for my father and for Alec, and today in particular I mourned for my mother. The woman I had convinced myself no one would miss, but I, more than anyone in the Council, knew Nina Nasso. I still remembered her as my mother, despite the atrocities.
I walked through the hallway, offering a weak nod and smile to my friends, but my focus remained on Nina. It seemed early on in her life she had chosen a destructive path. She had ruined lives in the process of climbing for power. Was that worth dying for?
I entered the meeting room and sat alone as the others filled in. I noticed Lukas sat in Alec’s chair. He gazed over at me, but I had no words. Alec was impossible to replace in this short of a timeframe, but Lukas’s presence at the Council’s table sent chills up my spine. Was this what Stefan had wanted?
I remembered what it was like to sit at that table, holding the final say over someone’s life. I shuddered and thanked Circe it was not I who would sentence my own mother to death.
Claire entered the room and took her seat. She appeared calm, much calmer than me, and without hesitation she made the motion for a Watcher to bring in the first prisoner.
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