by Dez Burke
He suggested that her agent call him to set up an audition. “There’ll be a full production set with video equipment and a handful of other actors alongside so that we can do a few screen tests. I think you’ll be perfect for one of the parts,” he said.
His green eyes had raked over her with more than mild appreciation. Angela had felt surprised at his personal interest. He was good looking, with only slightly receding wavy blond hair tied back in a ponytail. She didn’t know what to say when he invited her out to dinner with him later that week.
“It’ll give us more time to discuss the upcoming role and everything entailed in getting it. From where I’m standing right now, I can say your chances of landing the part are all but foolproof,” he said.
Yes, but at what price, Angela wondered shrewdly, recognizing the game for what it was. “My agent will call you. I just landed a part in a crime series so I’m happy for more opportunities. And as for the dinner...I’ll let you know soon.”
But Angela knew her answer would be a very firm ‘no’ to his invitation.
Kirk was influential, but she wasn’t interested. She’d vowed from the start not to sleep her way into anything. Or to be coerced into doing something she didn’t feel comfortable with. She would get roles based on her merits and nothing else. She would be polite and nice to him, but nothing more.
ANGELA SIGHED AND TOOK a quick gulp from the glass of wine she held. Why was it that when she was meant to be at her happiest, thoughts of Shane crept up in her mind?
Tonight at the casting party, she should be celebrating her newly acquired lead role in the crime series which would start filming over the next few months.
She’d been shocked and overwhelmed to be picked. She didn’t know how it happened. The people at the studio and the TV company told her they’d been impressed by her past roles in the one small feature film and on stage.
She was exactly what they were looking for in the character, they said. After they'd seen her at the auditions, they didn’t bother to look at anyone else. It was sealed when they watched the tapes again and they’d wasted no time in giving her a callback.
Now that she’d been signed on, she couldn’t wait for production to begin. She already had the script and the rehearsal schedule. Anyone else in her position would be walking on a cloud.
But just when she least expected it, she’d think about Shane and the smile would falter on her lips. Her heart would thump with an agony that made her feel breathless.
Oh God. She couldn’t take this.
If she went on this way, she knew she’d break down one day, and give in to tears of pain and regret at the fact that the one thing able to complete her happiness was gone forever.
I don’t want you to fall in love with me. In the end we’ll both go our merry way.
Those were one of the first things he ever told her. And that was the one part of the bargain she hadn’t been able to keep her side of.
“Great party, Angela.”
Angela spun around at the deep, familiar voice breaking into her thoughts.
“Kirk! What are you doing here?”
He held his arms out for an embrace. Angela hesitated for a moment before stiltedly walking into a hug that seemed drawn on too long. Smiling politely, she drew back.
He waved his arms about expressively. “You didn’t think I’ll let your big day go without helping you celebrate?” He smiled warmly down at her, looking with appreciation at her body encased in a beautifully styled gown. “You look fabulous.”
Angela was surprised and touched to hear the sincere note in his voice. “Thank you, Kirk. That means a whole lot.”
“Will you dance with me, Ms. Neil? It’s not every day you can celebrate your first big role in Hollywood.”
“You’re right,” she said with a reluctant smile.
Nodding, she put her hand in his and followed him to a clearing in the crowded dance floor of the club as she decided to make a better effort at enjoying the cast party. She couldn’t change the past now anyway.
SHANE DIDN’T NOTICE any of the stares the other guests at the club gave him. Some recognized him, and some simply stared for the sake of his scars. He’d had his hair cut today; something to keep the unruly mane more tamed and yes, less able to conceal his disfigured side. No more masks, he’d vowed. In more ways than one, he was laying himself bare.
In his hands were a bunch of beautiful red roses. He felt a little out of place in the brightly lit club filled with the fun-loving crowd, but he hid it well. He’d taken care in his dressing, wearing something semi-formal and trendy. He’d wanted to look his best when he showed up, trying to win Angela back.
But then when his eyes found her at the other end of the room, what he saw made his heart constrict.
Lord she was beautiful. Like a dream.
She wore a strapless black number that emphasized the gentle slopes and valleys that were her curves. Her hair was pinned up in a fashionably messy bun, with tendrils teasing her shoulders and nape. Her neck was bare of jewelry and all she had on to complement the outfit were tiny gold bracelets on her left wrist, a slim gold watch on the other, and strappy high heels.
Her face was in profile and she chose that moment to turn her face in his direction. There seemed to be a cloud of sadness beneath her beautiful eyes, her full lips pursing slightly as she seemed to sigh before taking another glass of wine.
He wasn’t sure what made her look so sad, and lonely. All Shane knew was that he could sense it. And every part of him wanted to rush to her side and chase that look away. Replace it with a smile of happiness and contentment, all which he hoped to give her and more.
Ignoring the low murmurs of a couple standing nearby who hadn’t stopped staring since he arrived, Shane began to make his way over to Angela.
And then Shane saw him.
Shane felt his hands tighten on the bouquet of roses as Kirk opened his arms for Angela to move into them. He stopped dead in his tracks and viewed their exchange. He watched the tell-tale flush on Angela’s face as her hand was taken in Kirk’s. Then they shared a look that seemed intimate and even tender. Shane had to keep from dashing through the crowd and forcibly pulling Angela away.
But he didn’t do that.
Instead, he stood there in the middle of the floor and watched Kirk lead Angela away to dance. She stepped shyly into Kirk’s embrace as they began to sway to the sultry music. Her hand rested on Kirk’s shoulder, while her other was held in Kirk’s grip which was also around her waist. Kirk whispered something in Angela’s ear and she threw her head back and laughed.
He couldn’t do this.
He must have been out of his mind. Coming down here, believing that anything he said would make a difference.
As if.
Angela would do just fine without him. He would only be an unwanted distraction. A man who’d rather pay a woman to play his girlfriend, than try to date in a normal relationship. Shane hadn’t wanted either him or the woman to get emotionally involved, hence his decision to get a fake girlfriend.
But now he realized he had not only become emotionally involved, he’d become totally fucked.
He couldn’t live without Angela. But he couldn’t stay. Couldn’t let her know he’d been about to make an utter fool of himself in front of this crowd of people.
Shaking his head at his own stupidity, Shane turned swiftly and made for the exit.
SOMETHING MOVED THE hairs on the back of her neck, sending a chill down her spine that Angela couldn’t shake off. That was when she looked up, her eyes searching the crowd.
She was just in time to see an unmistakable figure turn and begin to walk in the direction of the exit. Angela’s heart almost stopped beating.
Shane.
It had to be him. She knew that shape of head anywhere; that well-formed slope of broad shoulders and the way he carried himself. His hair was far shorter, and he seemed a little leaner in his perfectly tailored suit. But just one glimpse and she knew her e
yes, heart and mind were not deceiving her.
“Would you excuse me a minute Kirk,” Angela said somewhat dreamily, as she slipped from the surprised hold of her dance partner.
By the time she was walking swiftly from him, she’d already forgotten he existed, her mind solely on catching up with the retreating figure.
She couldn’t call out for him because of the noise from the crowd and the music. All of a sudden, she wished she could make the whole club part down the middle so she could make her way to him faster.
Shane was here.
He’d come for her.
But why was he leaving? Please, come back! Her heart cried over and over.
He must have seen me with Kirk, and drawn his own conclusion, Angela realized. She could only imagine how it must have looked. All she could think of was that he’d made it here, in front of all these people just so he could see her. Her heart swelled and broke at the same time, knowing he’d felt he wasn’t welcome and decided it was best to leave.
By the time she made it outside, she was breathless. She looked to the left and right of the street and was just in time to see Shane at the end of the road, entering the back seat of a black, chauffeur-driven Audi.
No, stop!
Angela felt swept by the feeling of helplessness as she made to run faster but saw the car already begin to drive away. In moments it was disappearing around the corner and she stumbled to a halt on staggering heels, her heart heavy and bleeding with loss.
She was too late.
Chapter Thirteen
Angela went to see her father that weekend and he looked better than the last time which was weeks ago. She knew she’d find less and less time to be with him once shooting for the first season began. She was so happy to see him looking stronger and now sitting out in the roofed patio of the facility, enjoying the gentle breeze entering from the garden.
He couldn’t talk much, which was fine since Angela was happy to do all the talking. She needed a listening ear even more than she needed words of advice, which was why she was there. Her younger sister Sasha had been a pillar of support. Sasha heard all Angela had to tell her about Shane, and had only one conclusion: what’s it worth to you to have him back, she’d asked?
Angela had never known Sasha could be so wise. Sasha had laughed when Angela had said exactly that. “Not wise, sis. I’m just thinking with my heart, which is what you should be doing. If it’s worth more to you to move on with your life than to go back and see where things go with you and him, then by all means, move on with your life. But if not...”
Angela had found the answer to that days later when she’d got on the plane to Nashville, ostensibly to see her father before she got too busy with her new role. But on the plane trip, her every waking thought and dreams were all about Shane. How in such a little time, he’d come to mean the world.
Knowing he’d flown out to see her at that party, had warmed her soul. The fact that he cared that much gave her a twinkle of hope that there could be more than she’d ever dared to hope for.
“Dad, I’ve met someone,” she said softly now, and saw her father nod encouragingly.
“Yes. I heard some talk about that. Folks around the hospital saying stuff. Not that they knew I could hear them. Mostly gossip about a racecar driver millionaire – the one who’s paying the bills to this place. I thought you two were done.”
Her father spoke very slowly, but she heard every word clearly. She placed a hand on his which held the arm of his chair. “How could we be done when we really had nothing to begin with?” she said sadly before telling her father all that had happened.
“It was always just about business; no strings attached,” she finished on a deep sigh. “He picked me banking on the fact that I wouldn’t fall in love with someone like him. He didn’t want me to. To him, I’d be more likely to stick to the plan than any other woman he could have picked. At first, it galled me that I’d managed to prove him wrong. I didn’t stick to the plan at all.”
Her father looked pensive for several minutes. “You’ve made your choices, dear, and I don’t say I approve of most of them. I’m glad you kept to your honor and wouldn’t sleep with him for money. I’m not glad you were so pushed to even agree to such an arrangement. But it did help you get closer to him, to see the kind of man he really was because he’d have no cause to pretend with you. With you he could act real since he never planned on for keeps and wouldn’t need to impress you. And you still think that from what you saw with him, you’d like to give it another try?”
“I think I definitely deserve to give it another try.”
“There’s only one way to find out,” her father said shrewdly, smiling and squeezing back on her fingers. Angela nodded in silence, her eyes brimming as she found strength in her father’s support and the gentleness in his smile.
She could do this. She would try. The love she felt inside was more than worth the fight and this time backing down was not an option.
ANGELA’S CELLPHONE rang as she left the assisted living facility.
“Angela Neil,” she answered.”
“Angela, it’s Lloyd. Shane’s dad.”
The world shifted under her and she stopped walking. She hadn’t spoken to Shane’s parents since the birthday party.
“Lloyd! What’s wrong? Has something happened to Shane?”
“Oh no, nothing like that. I’m sorry for scaring you gal. Valerie and I were wondering if you would like to join us in the corporate box Sunday at Bristol.”
“Bristol Motor Speedway?” Her voice croaked.
Oh shit! No, it couldn’t be...
“You don’t know, do you?” Lloyd continued. “Shane’s racing on Sunday. Just like old times. We’d like you to be there with us if you can make it.”
White hot fear coursed through her, making her almost unable to speak. The thought of Shane racing again had never crossed her mind. The idea of Shane back in a racecar terrified her.
More than she’d ever been in her life.
“Yes! Yes, of course I’ll be there.”
“Great! The ticket and all the information you’ll need will be at the will call window. Race day can be a mess, so get there early. We’ll see you then, sweetheart.”
“Thank you, Lloyd for inviting me. It means more than you know. I wouldn’t miss it.”
THANKFULLY, SUNDAY’S weather turned out bright and sunny. Angela didn’t know much about stock car racing, but she knew enough to know driving on a wet track couldn’t be good. Since Lloyd’s call, she’d managed to work her way up to a major panic. In all the time her and Shane had spent together, he’d never mentioned returning to the track.
She wondered why now?
What had prompted him to suddenly slide behind the wheel of a racecar again? Did he have a fucking death wish? All she knew was that nothing would keep her away from the track today. If anything were to happen to him, at least she’d be close by.
But nothing was going to happen. He would be fine. At least, this was what she kept telling herself every five minutes.
When she’d arrived at the luxurious corporate box, Lloyd had hurried across the room to greet her, explaining that Shane had already joined his crew and car down in the pits. She nodded, inwardly relieved not to see him before the race. Shane needed to stay focused and her showing up unannounced might be a distraction. Possibly a very unwelcome one.
“Thank you for coming, honey,” Valerie said, drawing Angela into a hug. “It will mean a lot to Shane to know you’re here today.”
Angela frowned and shook her head. “Oh, I don’t think we should tell him I’m here. We haven’t seen each other in awhile. It would be better if he didn’t know.”
Valerie patted her hand and gave her an understanding smile. “Don’t be silly dear. Lloyd already radioed Beverly down in the pit to let her know you’ve arrived. She’ll tell him. Trust, me Shane would want to know. I know my boy.”
An icy ball of fear formed in Angela’s stomach.
Angela looked at her in surprise. “Why would I be mad?”
Valerie glanced over at Lloyd before speaking. “We’ve known all along about Shane’s little plan to convince us he had a girlfriend; and that his recovery was going better than it really was.” She let out a long breath and put her hands on her hips. “There! I said it. You happy now, Lloyd? I didn’t want to tell you, but Lloyd insisted that we should be honest with you.”
Angela’s mouth fell open in surprise.
What? How?
Lloyd squeezed Angela’s shoulder in reassurance. “Now, now, don’t worry. It wasn’t anything you did or didn’t do. We had an undercover spy working for us.” He snickered at the thought.
“Who?” Angela asked, not convinced. “I can’t believe you knew all along.”
“Bess,” Lloyd answered.
“Bess? Oh my God! Why didn’t you two say anything? I feel like such an idiot.” Could her humiliation get any worse! “What did Shane say when he found out?”
“We didn’t tell him,” Valerie replied emphatically. “And don’t you tell him either! After all, what would be the point? The end result was the same. We got what we wanted-our son back. Alive, healthy and well. And more importantly living again. Everything worked out in the end, so why upset him?”
Angela looked back and forth between the two of them; loving parents who would do anything for the sake of their son. A thought dawned on her.
“You sly devils! Let me guess. The planned intervention at your birthday party was a fake too. Right? You were only trying to spur him into taking action of some sort. You never intended to do that.”
They both had the decency to look a little ashamed.
“Well of course it was a fake!” Valerie finally admitted with a sheepish grin. “What kind of a mother would plan an intervention for their son at their own birthday party? How embarrassing for everyone. And not one bit fun. We allowed the plans for the upcoming intervention to ‘leak out.’ That little gossip Bridget tells everything she knows and a great deal she doesn’t. We knew Shane wouldn’t like the thought of everybody sitting around telling him how worried they were about him. We hoped it would be enough of an incentive to get him to make some changes in his life. On his own. And he did.”