Ammo and Enchiladas

by BA Tortuga

  “I think that sounds amazing.” He put his hand over Trav’s a moment. “You good?”

  “I am. I’ve got the bill too, as long as I can get the rest of the dessert basket to go.”

  “Are you sure, man?” he asked, pleased down to the bone. “That’s damn kind of you.”

  “Don’t tell anyone at the jail, okay?”

  “I promise.” He crossed his heart. Travis stood when they did, so Lex hugged him. “Thanks, man.”

  “I love you. Be careful with you, huh?”

  “I will. I promise.” He didn’t lie, but he wanted to. He wanted to comfort both of them, but the simple fact was he was a cop. That wasn’t going to change.

  He’d grown up knowing that was what he was meant to be. Serve and protect. Hell, he imagined Brant got it, but the thing with Matty was bringing up all manner of stuff in him.

  Lord, now he was comparing his lover to what? An unused pool? Damn.

  He touched shoulders with Brant on the way to the parking lot. “You okay?”

  “I am. Glad we have tomorrow off together.”

  “Me too.” The world seemed to have sped up since they moved in together. They could so use some downtime to just be.

  He’d never really understood how complicated meshing a Monday through Friday, eight-to-five schedule with a four-two where you were called out to ghost the detectives on your twos.

  They stopped at his truck, Brant grinning. “See you at home in a few, huh?”

  “I would say race you, but you know, cop.”

  “If you stop me, do you promise to frisk me?”

  “I do. Thoroughly.” He loved teasing Brant.

  “Fair enough. I want to be able to accuse you of drastically inappropriate behavior.”

  “Well, I can think of a dozen inappropriate things just off the top of my head.” Lex reached out to touch that fine, flat belly. “Come on, lover. Home.”

  “Yes, sir. I’ll meet you there. You be careful.”

  “Ditto.” He got into his truck, feeling weirdly like they needed to go together. It wasn’t but a few miles.

  His gut was going a million miles a minute, and he knew it was the shooting that had set it off. He had a little trauma himself, he guessed. The bombings had just proven bad things piled on each other.

  That whole situation had shaken a lot of foundations.

  He followed Brant home, drumming his fingers on the wheel. The radio was a constant hum and buzz, and he only listened with half an ear. Instead, he focused on Brant’s taillights, willing them to get home safe.

  Lord, he was acting like they were in the middle of a motherfucking zombie apocalypse. Lex took a deep breath, forcing his shoulders down from around his ears. Right. Almost there.

  Why the hell were all the lights in the house on? You could see right inside. His heart kicked into high gear, adrenaline flooding him.

  Brant parked and got out of the SUV, heading to the front porch.

  Lex screeched to a stop behind him, then hopped out. “Brant, wait! Did you leave all the lights on?” He put his hand on his sidearm.

  “Nope. I’m sure it was Steve.”

  “Steve?” Who the hell— “Your neighbor?”

  “Yeah. He asked if he could borrow some chicken broth. He was in the midst of making enchilada sauce.”

  “Chicken….” He still pushed in front of Brant to unlock the door, checking all possible danger areas before proceeding.

  “It’s fine. He’s got issues with the dark. It’s no big deal.”

  “Yeah.” Lex moved methodically, ignoring Mouse and not losing focus until he’d checked every room. Then, and only then, did he relax. Secure.

  Brant fed the cats and closed the blinds, moving nice and slow, like there wasn’t a damn thing wrong.

  When he was done checking the house, Lex grabbed a beer out of the fridge, feeling… mad wasn’t the right word. More freaked-out.

  “It’s just Steve. He’s a dork.”

  “That scared the crap out of me, baby. I was all worked up anyway. Work.”

  “Did something happen at work? Are you okay?”

  Lex sighed, not wanting to tell Brant but wanting to be honest. “There was a robbery shooting today. Gas station. The victim is stable at UNM, but it shook me.”

  He saw Brant pale, but that was the only reaction. “That had to have sucked. Seriously.”

  “It was harsh. The perpetrator got away. They have more on CCTV than yours, so I imagine we’ll get him.”

  “Good. Good. This is crazy, all the assholes. People are desperate. I think they’re also looking for the easy way out.”

  “Exactly. That’s why you have to learn to be more careful, huh? They could see right into the house, no? Someone could case this place in a second.” Lex wanted Brant to be cautious with the house.

  “I didn’t do it, man.”

  “The blinds were up when you weren’t home, though.”

  Brant blinked at him. “You were still here when I left.”

  “I—was I?” Shit. He was getting soft. “Okay, well, I’ll check when I leave.”

  “Good deal. We’ll be home tomorrow. Together.”

  “We will.” He moved to hug Brant, glad the man wasn’t all mad and stiff. “Sorry. Sorry, I wigged out.”

  “It’s hard to turn it off, I bet. Cop brain.” Brant came right to him.

  “It is.” He held on, letting Brant’s warmth soothe him. Brant touched him, petting him in long, slow strokes, and for a second he thought about accusing Brant of treating him like Mouse, but then the thought tickled him, making him laugh right out loud.

  “What are you laughing about, butthead?” Brant asked, pinching his butt.

  “How I’m like one of the cats.”

  “I feed you better.” Brant shook his head. “And I never threaten to skin you.”

  “True. I would make a shit rug.” He kissed Brant’s neck. “Speaking of cats. I’ll give out treats.”

  “Kiss me first.”

  “You got it.” Kissing Brant never got old. Lex had a feeling it never would.

  When he stepped back, Brant blinked, swayed a little. “Damn, honey.”

  “Cats. Treats. Then we’ll go to bed and, uh, I can frisk you.” Was it silly to keep that joke going?

  “If I’m really, really bad, can we do a cavity check?”

  Oh. Oh, good one.

  “I think it might be mandatory. Just for my safety.” They moved apart, one to deal with the cats, the other to turn off lights and fill water bowls.

  “You looking forward to tomorrow?” Brant grabbed two bottles of water.

  “I am.” He wasn’t sure they were even going to do anything. Maybe work in the yard.

  Maybe they could go shop for a hot tub. He liked the inflatables. Easy to move, and they could get a two-man one, which would save on water.

  “Good deal, honey. Me too.”

  “Come to bed with me, baby.” He grabbed Brant’s hand, ready to go get sexy.

  If he tried real hard, he could wear them both out until damned near lunchtime.

  Chapter Twenty-Four

  “SO HOW’S the live-in situation?”

  That was a question tons of people seemed to ask Brant over the last few weeks. Coworkers. Dr. N.… Bridey.

  Now Travis.

  His answer was always the same.

  “I don’t know.”

  “Uh-oh. Not exactly glowing praise, my friend.”

  He sighed and shrugged, although how was Travis going to see it over the phone? “He’s just really busy.”

  As in every day off, Lex was called in to trail Detective Blah or learn from Detective Boring. It was a little like living alone, but with more food in the fridge and more security system shit.

  Mouse saw Lex more than he did, and he was getting damn grumpy about it.

  “He should take the test soon,” Travis said gently.

  “I know. I’m not bitching.” He was… well, he hadn’t known he was lonel
y until he’d not been for a few weeks.

  “Bitch away. It used to drive me crazy when Matt’s schedule didn’t match with mine. He had this one assignment where he worked with some bank in Japan. He was up all night.”

  “I remember that. God, I thought you’d both lose your minds.” But that was one assignment. Not forever.

  “You have to tell him, sweetie. Do you want to go to coffee? Or cake or something? We could go to the Flying Star.”

  “Oh… I don’t know. I’ve had a few beers. I’m just going to stay here and watch the TV.”

  “I can come get you.”

  Oh, that was a temptation. “I could so go for a big piece of cake.”

  Travis laughed, sounding delighted. “I’m on my way.”

  “I’ll get dressed.”

  “Dude. It’s six thirty. At night. You’re not dressed?”

  “Shut up. The cats wanted to snuggle, and I—” He was pouting. He knew it.

  “Oh Jesus Christ. I lost my husband and I was less of a little bitch.” Travis cackled.

  “Fuck you. Come get me.” He hung up, heading to the bedroom to get dressed. Good thing he hadn’t taken a pill too.

  His phone rang, and he grabbed it. “You can’t be here already, man.”

  “Who?” Lex sounded utterly confused.

  “Oh, sorry. Travis is coming to get me for cake. Is everything okay?”

  “Yeah. Yeah, I was just calling. I’m on my break.”

  Brant put the phone on speaker so he could get dressed. “Having a good evening?”

  Lex chuckled. “Yeah. Having a taco, so I thought I’d call.”

  “Cool. Beef or chicken?” He wasn’t even sure if Lex was scheduled today or on call.

  “Beef.” Lex sighed. “Damn it. No tacos for me. Love you, baby.” The line clicked off.

  “Yeah. Bye, Lex.” Jesus.

  Mouse jumped on the bed, one of Lex’s socks in his mouth.

  “Seriously?” He grabbed it, narrowly avoiding getting bit. “One, you are not a dog. Two, you are mine. Remember who feeds you.”

  Mouse meowed plaintively.

  “He’s busy. He’s saving the world and shit.” He yanked on his shirt. “I wish Matty was here, kit. I’d ask him if he thought I was too boring to be with a police officer.”

  Mouse rolled to his back, batting the reacquired sock with both front feet.

  “Yeah, yeah, is that your entire opinion?” He grabbed his boots and pulled them on. “Matty would tell me to suck it up, and I wouldn’t know if that meant dump him or deal.”

  Mouse purred, coming to rub on him as if asking him to stay home.

  “Spoiled beast. I’ll be home later. In theory, Lex will too. Maybe.” He petted that furry belly, then headed back to the front room, ready to make sure all the blinds were closed.

  The temptation to leave them open was huge. Stupid, but huge. He didn’t really want to freak Lex out, maybe annoy him a tiny bit. Maybe enough to fight him a little, remind him that they had fire. They did, didn’t they?

  It wasn’t only because they’d lost Matty and he didn’t want to be alone and Lex had needed a place to stay, right?

  No. No, Lex was calling him on his truncated lunch break. Just because. Roommates didn’t do that.

  He was being ridiculous, and he had a couple of beers in him. He needed to put his head on right. Needy bitch was not a character trait he evinced well.

  Brant saw Travis pull in, so he locked up and headed out, thinking carrot cake in a big way. He texted Lex, just a Trav is here. I locked up and closed the blinds.

  It wasn’t a huge declaration of undying love, but it wouldn’t start shit, so it would work.

  Chapter Twenty-Five

  LEX KNOCKED on his parents’ door, feeling so frickin’ weird he didn’t know what to do. Mama had asked him to come for lunch, and he really had no way of saying no, even if he’d really wanted to spend the whole day with Brant. He had a lot of making up to do for missing his days off with his lover.

  Christ, he was tired.

  “Mijo! Why’d you knock?” She grabbed him and hugged him tight, the smell of spice and sugar so familiar he wanted to cry. “Come in. Come in. Did you bring your friend? I made tortillas and beans.”

  “Brant is at work, Mama. He wants to take you out for supper one night next week.” He found himself smiling, the curtains more faded but the same, the sound of a Chihuahua barking in the back room a constant in his young life. “What puppy do you have now?”

  “His name is Cucuy. He still tries to run out the front door, so I put him away when someone is coming.”

  “Papa needs to put the screen door back on.”

  “Ai. He says he’s going to Lowe’s to get a fancy one. A storm door.” She rolled her eyes. “You know him, huh?”

  “I do. He’s working?”

  She nodded. “At the garage. I think he plays dominoes all day and pretends he’s fixing cars. You look tired. How’s the new job? Come and eat.”

  Mama’s answer to everything—come and eat.

  Of course, he lived for her tortillas and refritos.

  “I am tired. I’m pulling doubles, really. They have me on a regular shift, then training for detective. Leo really wants me to push up.” He was grateful for that, but man, he hadn’t expected to be putting in so many hours so soon after moving.

  “Oh, that’s nice, no? You been wanting that for a long time. I’ll light a candle on Wednesday. I made a quilt for you, for your new house.” She fixed him up a bowl of beans and handed him a pile of hot tortillas. Add butter and salsa and he was in heaven.

  “Did you? What’s on it?” He loved her soft but usable quilts. His one from when he was a kid was still here on the twin bed he’d slept in.

  “You sent a picture of the living room, so I used the colors from that. It’s stars and cowboy boots.” She blushed and fluttered a little. “You want to see it?”

  “Of course I do, Mama.” Why had he put this off so long? He grabbed her to hug her when she moved past him. “I missed you.”

  “I miss you. So glad you’re closer.” She kissed the top of his head, smoothing his cowlick. “Eat, mijo. It’s good for you.”

  “Gracias, Mama.” Lex put salsa and cheese in his beans, then buttered a tortilla.

  Oh God. Brant cooked like a dream, but there was nothing like his mama’s beans. They tasted like… hope, faith, and love all mixed together.

  And lard. The key was lard.

  Mama came out with a Southwesty quilt—the fabrics were Kokopellis and Zia suns and chiles. Cowboy boots were interspersed with stars, and he surprised himself by getting a little misty.

  “Mama. It’s beautiful.”

  “You like it?” She reminded him of when he was younger and Papa would bring her a new dress—nervous and pleased and eager.

  “I do. It’s gorgeous.” Brant was going to plotz. It was so damn cool. “Brant will love it. Hold it up. I’ll text him a picture.”

  She beamed at him, and Lex knew he’d said exactly the right thing. Lord, she needed to know he cared, and he felt like a real asshole for not coming to see her.

  It wasn’t even that she was going to be ugly about Brant. For fuck’s sake, she’d known he was gay for years, but living with someone, that was different.

  Lex thought it was a matter of degree. Once he hadn’t seen her for a certain amount of time, it was just too hard.

  “Do you need anything else for a housewarming? Kitchen stuff?”

  “Uh, I can’t think of anything, Mama. I want to get Brant something, though. He likes to cook outside….”

  “Yeah? Like a smoker?”

  “He has a big gas grill. I’ve seen him smoke with a hotel pan and some woodchips….”

  She nodded to him, but she wasn’t listening. Grilling was Papa’s job—chicken, steaks, brisket, carne asada, green chiles. The carnitas were Mama’s job.

  “Anyway, a smoker is a good idea.” He rolled beans into another tortilla.
/>   “Good deal. See? I’m not worthless, am I?”

  “Of course not, Mama!” He was shocked to hear her say it.

  She winked at him. “Maybe a little bit, hmm?”

  “You make tortillas. You’ll never be worthless. So, what all is everyone up to? Tell me everything.”

  Mama came to sit, taking a tortilla for herself. “Oh, everything is the same—Aunt Flora is on the hunt for another man, and Uncle Teddy is back on the wagon.”

  “How’s mis hermanas?” His siblings only talked to him when they needed advice from the cop brother.

  “Angela is trying to have a baby. Francesca is working too hard, still. Chicago. Can you believe it? Our little Franny in a big city?”

  “She’s liking it, huh?” He would have to call her, make sure she was eating.

  “She’s busy. She called the other day for my tamale recipe. She’s cooking for friends.”

  “Good for her.” He’d always known Franny would go far from New Mexico while the rest of them stayed. She had wandering eyes and a knack for PR. She made them proud.

  Of course Angela was a nurse at Pres, was married to a radiologist, and was stupidly happy.

  He reached for his mom’s hand. “I love you.”

  “I love you, mijo. Why don’t you come take a nap? Just half an hour, hmm? You can have your old bed, or even just here on the couch.”

  “Oh, Mama, I can’t. I want to be home when Brant gets there. I owe him some of my time off.” He grinned at her. “I would love to take some food to him.”

  “Are you sure? I would wake you up. And of course, you can have all the food you want. I’ll make another batch of tortillas while you nap.”

  “Okay, okay.” Brant wouldn’t be home for ages. He could have a tiny nap. Without Mouse yowling at him.

  “Good boy. Go lay down. I’ll wake you. I swear.”

  “Thank you, Mama. I need to be out of here by three.” It gave her such pleasure to do for people.

  “I will do it. You sleep.” She patted his shoulder. “Go on. Turn the TV on for noise if you need.”

  He was so tired he did just that. He set the alarm on his phone for two forty-five, putting it right next to the bed. Then he curled up under his quilt and fell asleep as soon as his head hit the pillow.