by Caris Roane
She thought he had to be joking or at least seeing what he wanted to see. He was a bit prejudiced after all. But she didn’t care. She met his gaze. “You look amazing. I wonder if your hair will grow back on this side of your head. Though, I have to say I’ve always loved the way this looks. Your tattoos, everything.”
When he started to pull out, she told him to wait then quickly reached for the washcloth.
“Good idea,” he said. “Given what just happened, this is going to be a flood.”
“You kept releasing, didn’t you?”
He shook his head in wonder as he tucked the washcloth between her legs. “I did. It was incredible.”
When he gained his feet, she lifted up on her elbows just to look at him. She sighed gustily.
“What?” he asked.
“You’re gorgeous. My eyes hurt looking at you.”
He grinned. “Well, that feeling is damn mutual.” He leaned down and kissed her. When he rose up, he looked around. “With the way we create a storm between us, I’m always surprised the room isn’t whipped to shreds. But nothing is out of place.”
She watched him head slowly to the bathroom, allowing herself a moment to savor his strong, physical body. When he disappeared within, she closed her eyes intending to doze a little until he got back.
Instead, she fell into a profound sleep.
Later, she awoke to an odd pressure on her arm, but she didn’t want to wake up. She was incredibly tired. The previous night had been a trial, of working with Warren to keep Julio and Glissane from taking over Savage, as well as the healing efforts that followed. Her reserves were depleted.
But the odd pressure continued.
Blinking slowly, she forced herself to wake up. “Warren?” She spoke his name on a hoarse whisper.
Try not to wake him up, Kiara. This is between you and me.
She leaned up on her elbow and squinted into the dark. Wavy, light gray smoke floated in the air near her. She was so tired and her head felt fuzzy.
You’re confused.
She switched to telepathy as well. Yes.
Let me enhance my form.
The lines coalesced. Is that better?
She recognized the intruder and her heart constricted. Tonya? What are you doing here? She pulled the sheet up to her neck.
Tonya was still alive and still married to the man Kiara had just slept with. It all seemed so wrong despite Tonya’s dementia. She wondered once more how Warren had born his wife’s illness and suffering.
Tonya smiled, a wavering line of mist that gave her a ghoulish appearance. Don’t be embarrassed. Warren has needs I can’t possibly fulfill. But there’s something you must know. If you stay with him, he will die.
A gasp left Kiara’s throat. What? How? I mean, how do you know this?
She swept a hand through the air dragging the bizarre mist with it. Because I’m connected to the afterlife, of course. I’ve seen the future. Warren dies in a terrible altercation with Glissane but only if you stay with him. If you leave, he will survive. Search your heart, Kiara, you’ll know I’m speaking the truth.
From the beginning, Kiara had believed her time with Warren had an expiration date. She wasn’t a wolf and at the very least, with everything Warren had endured, the man deserved a wolf to serve as his alpha female.
She was a witch, someone he could never fully trust. A witch had scarred him on his first week of arrival in Five Bridges. She knew on a deep level, Warren undoubtedly carried a level of distrust toward her.
I know you’re right.
The mist formed another smile. But at almost the same moment, Tonya’s ghostly form began to writhe as though fighting a battle. She watched Tonya’s neck jerk back and as had happened before, her mouth opened wide and black smoke poured out.
The ghost-form vanished in a sudden swirl of mist, then nothing.
Kiara, now fully awake, eased down on her side then rolled onto her back. There was a faint odor in the air as well, something like the pungent scent of tomato leaves.
She folded her hands across her chest. Her heart had begun to ache. She’d called her time with Warren a stolen season. But in this moment, the reality of her situation hit her full-force.
She loved Warren, body and soul, dreams and desires, from one end of heaven to the other. He was her man, the one she would choose if she had the ability or right to choose.
But she didn’t.
This was Five Bridges and so little was fair in their shared five territories, including the differences in their alter species.
How she’d fallen in love with a wolf, she would never fully understand. Yet it wasn’t ‘the wolf’ she loved. It was Warren himself, the fine, sacrificial man she’d come to know, always doing what was best for his pack and for Savage.
He’d stood by his wife, tending to her once-a-week for eight long, difficult years. He’d watched her waste away to nothing, with never a hope she’d recover and become the woman he’d once loved and who he needed by his side.
He didn’t even recognize her as the woman he’d fallen in love with and married, a surfer-girl with strength and joie de vivre until an alter serum had stolen her human life. Her transformation had rendered her a helpless, demented patient in a Revel Territory asylum.
Though Kiara’s heart broke, the time had come and there was only one decision to make. She would have to leave Warren for good.
~ ~ ~
That night, Warren sat on the heavy wood bench at the foot of his bed, hands clasped between his knees, eyes glued proverbially to the floor. He focused on taking air into his lungs because he swore he’d forgotten how to breathe.
One long, deep breath in.
Release.
Take in more air.
That’s it.
He began to shift, just the initial part during which his ears elongated, and fur prickled at their tips. With his wolf-hearing at the fore, he detected a thousand different sounds coming from all parts of the compound. He began separating them out, picking up a sound, casting it aside until he registered Kiara’s footsteps on the stone of his long foyer.
When her footsteps ceased, he knew she’d levitated. He mentally followed her up into the air as she flew east. Her refuge wasn’t far away, less than a mile. She would go there, but only to pack up then she would leave Savage. She would turn the management of her refuge over to another witch capable of managing her complex security spell.
She’d said these things as though reciting a page out of an encyclopedia. She’d said his wife had come to her during their day’s sleep.
He had no reason to doubt anything she’d told him. He was certain his wife had appeared and prophesied his doom.
The black smoke, however, disturbed him, though he wasn’t certain why. His first assessment had been simple. The demented state had created an anomaly in the visitation. After all, she shouldn’t have been in a ghostly state in the first place. She was still alive.
He rubbed his forehead. A pain had formed between his eyes and was now sending lightning strikes into his brain.
He retracted his intense wolf hearing until it returned to a human version of normal.
But Kiara was gone.
Gone.
The pain in his head sliced straight down to his heart and cut the damn organ in half.
He rose up off the bench, mouth wide. He was grateful he’d made certain his quarters were sound proof because a howl left his throat that sounded like nothing he’d ever heard before. His howls hit the walls and rang in his ears creating an echo that increased the pain in his head.
He hurt into the soles of his feet, the marrow of his bones.
What came to him, ringing back with each new howl was the certainty he’d lost the only woman he’d loved in the past eight years.
He loved Kiara.
He loved her.
Dammit, he needed her. The past few days, working beside her, sharing his storm power with her in bed or in battle had forged a bond he didn’t want to
break. It might not be the permanent alpha bond, but it was there, something only the two of them had ever shared.
For his own sanity and to give fuller expression to his grief, he needed to let his wolf come. He went to his private track below his bedroom. He’d built it with plenty of head clearance for leaping and two dozen massive boulders to break up the monotony of the otherwise oval space with sand for a path.
With a single thought and eight years of practice, he shifted into his wolf form.
He made two circuits and landed on the tallest pile of boulders then howled again. The same strained resonance continued as he gave full voice to his grief.
Kiara was gone.
She’d left him to save him.
He knew it was the right thing to do as well, but he felt ripped in two. He’d lost the best part of himself when she’d walked out the door.
He ran for an hour, howled then ran some more.
When he’d exhausted himself, he ordered a meal to be brought to his room, showered then made the decision to see Tonya for himself. If there was any way that he could ask her about what she’d seen in the future, he had to try.
~ ~ ~
Kiara found herself standing in front of the grotto pool in her refuge and staring into the water without any sense of how she’d gotten there. She sighed like she was throwing a boulder off her chest.
She was doing the right thing. There could be no question about that. According to what Tonya had seen in the future, if Kiara stayed anywhere near Warren, her presence would somehow draw Glissane to her and Warren would be killed.
She could ensure Warren’s safety while ending a relationship that had spiraled out of control. She loved him, she always would, but he couldn’t bring a witch into his pack.
She leaned over the edge of the pool and watched as her tears fell into the dark water and created ripple after ripple. The small waves distorted her face but reflected perfectly the state of her heart.
A sob caught in her chest. She swore it got stuck over her heart and created so much pressure she was sure something inside her would physically break.
Her knees gave way and she dropped to the floor beside the edge of the pool. She bent her arms over the stone seat and began to cry. She felt as she had the night she’d entered Five Bridges, her first night as an alter witch. She’d had to say good-bye to her human life and it was a pain like nothing she could have ever predicted.
She’d savored her time with Warren. But right now, as her soul turned inside out from the loss of his companionship, she wished she’d never met him, or worked beside him or shared his bed.
She’d known her future with him was a non-starter in the first place. She’d also stupidly thought that having sex with him would be a lovely memory she could cherish. Instead, she’d given her heart to him in the process and the thought she could never be with him again made her weep harder still.
Chapter Twelve
Three days had passed since Kiara’s departure. Warren sat on a stool beside the map table in his war room, staring at nothing.
His life had become a fog, a thick pea soup of not hearing what was said to him and of not seeing anyone distinctly. He felt veiled by a profound grief that was an echo of what he’d known when he’d learned of his wife’s disorder and had placed her in the Revel asylum.
He’d been putting off going to see Tonya, but the time had come. He needed to talk to her about what she’d said to Kiara. But he’d been dreading the moment. Even after eight years it was still hard to be with her in her current condition.
“Alpha Warren.”
The sharp tone had Warren lifting his head off the palm of his hand. He squinted, and the face finally took focus. “Fergus? What are you doing here?” He rubbed his fingers over the last remnants of the scars above his newly opened eye. He looked different now, more normal, though some scarring remained. He could see perfectly well from both eyes and he was grateful. But even his restored vision reminded him of what he’d lost.
“Your people have been calling me all evening.”
“Why would they do that? Is everything all right over at Julio’s compound?”
“Everything’s in order. We have three candidates for alpha and there will be a dominance battle tomorrow night at the Sand Pit. Representatives from each of the twelve packs will be there.”
“Good. That’s good.” He rose from his stool. He didn’t want to talk to Fergus right now. The man was happily bonded to his alpha-mate. “I have to go see my wife.”
“What are you talking about? Your wife?”
Right. He’d forgotten. No one knew about Tonya. Only Kiara. He waved a hand. “Got things on my mind.”
Fergus glanced around. “So, where’s Kiara?”
He shifted to look at Fergus, frowning. “I don’t know. She had to leave, so she left.”
He was going to move past Fergus, but Fergus caught his arm. “Warren, look at me.”
Warren was an inch taller than Fergus, enough to look down at him. He met his gaze, but he wasn’t really seeing him.
In a low voice, Fergus said, “Tell me about your wife.”
“I don’t know why I said that. I don’t have a wife.” In some respects, he didn’t.
“You said you did and something tells me you weren’t lying. Talk to me.”
Warren couldn’t think of a reason not to tell him. He returned to his stool and slumped back down on it. “She’s in an asylum in Revel Territory.” He told Fergus the rest as well as the fact Kiara knew about her.
Fergus kept saying ‘Christ’. Sometimes he said ‘Jesus’. More than once he whispered a string of invective. “Why didn’t you tell me before?”
“What was the point? She’s dying. Or she has been for the past year. Her nurses have no idea why she’s still alive. It’s been a nightmare.”
“Is that why Kiara left? You told her about Tonya?”
The fog was still there, flowing in and out of Warren’s mind. He had to think hard with each question Fergus asked. He shook his head. “No. She was here, she was with me, the night after Julio’s death. I was going to ask Kiara to become my alpha-mate. That’s when she told me Tonya had visited her, in the form of an apparition—”
“Wait, what? How could she do that if she’s not dead?”
“I don’t know. She’s come to me as well, usually not with good news, either. She’s living a half-life. The asylum doctors say it happens, not with every case, but with some.”
Fergus moved to a stool adjacent to Warren and sat down as well. “I can’t believe this, but it sure as hell explains what’s going on with you. Your pack is worried. They say you run for hours during the day on your private track. They’ve heard you howling.”
Right. His apartment was soundproof, but not his track.
“You’ve got to pull yourself together. Your pack needs you. So, what can I do to help?”
“I don’t know. I miss her. I didn’t think I’d ever feel this way, but I don’t want to live without her, even though she’s a witch.”
“You love her.”
Warren turned toward Fergus. “I do, and dammit, I don’t want to go back to the way things were before she came into my life. I didn’t know how alone I was.”
“So, don’t.”
“What do you mean?”
“Don’t go back. Go find Kiara and bring her home. She belongs here. Our wolves love her for her sacrifices, she knows about your wife and understands, she’s the woman for you. Hell, I don’t think I ever saw you smile, at least not like that, until you were with Kiara. Mary said the same thing.”
Some of the fog began drifting out of his head. Small rivulets of hope started moving in. “There’s a problem. Tonya told her if I stayed with her, I would die. That’s why she left.”
Fergus once more released a string of choice words. “Go see Tonya. Maybe she has something more to add, some way out of this mess.”
Warren knew it didn’t work that way, that it was hard to get Tonya t
o focus on anything. But he’d been planning on seeing her tonight as it was. “I’ll do that.”
“Now.”
Warren’s lips quirked. “Fine. Now. I was going over there anyway.”
Fergus left shortly after and Warren headed to his rooms to get changed. Once the decision was made, more of the fog peeled away.
Fergus had said he should bring Kiara home. Given his state of mind, he’d begun to think he didn’t have much of a choice. Life without her seemed to be an abyss out of which he’d have to crawl every night of his alter life unless he changed things.
She’d fulfilled him, pure and simple. He didn’t want a life in Savage without her.
If it was true his life was in danger if she was near, then they’d deal with it, create a security system to keep them both safe, whatever needed to be done.
First, though, he needed to see his wife.
~ ~ ~
Kiara moved around the refuge as though she had lead weights attached to the bottom of her feet. She didn’t know a body could feel this way, like she was sinking into the earth with each step she took.
Three days had passed since she’d told Warren she was leaving. But she hadn’t. Instead, she’d remained cloistered inside the refuge. She simply hadn’t been able to make herself leave Savage altogether.
She’d already acknowledged she was grief stricken, so she accepted she’d be feeling this way for a long time.
She showered and dressed for the night. Her chef was bringing her a tray with coffee and a lemon-blueberry muffin.
She might drink the coffee.
Later, when she opened the door to take the tray, she felt an odd chill pass through her. She glanced around, but her living room was calm and peaceful. The chill passed.
“You okay?” her chef asked. The sincere concern in the wolf’s tone tightened Kiara’s throat. “Yes, I’m fine. Thanks for bringing this to me.”
“Ralph and Susie headed back to the Strip. They’re rebuilding the club. The Tribunal has approved funds to repair damage to the clubs affected by Julio’s attempted take-over.”
“Well, that’s something.” Mostly she thought the Tribunal useless. But she also knew with so much corruption rampant throughout Five Bridges, and within the Trib itself, Donaldson’s hands were all but tied.”