by BobA. Troutt
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Dead Limbs and Leaves
The Seasons of Life (a Psalm)
Through the awakening of spring, I find myself with a journey ahead. With the sweet fragrances of the spring flowers and the songs of the birds surrounding me, I find peace and serenity within the newly fallen rain. I can smell the dust in the air as the rain slowly blankets the earth with each raindrop that falls. Carefully, the gentle breeze of the wind blows through the trees, stirring the new leaves. As the wind dances about, the sunlight pierces through, bouncing off each leaf, with sounds signifying it is spring!
I shall find my way for my heart is in the hands of a true and living God directing my steps. His spirit too shall move within me as the wind ballets in the trees. His love shall overshadow me as the sunlight bounces about the leaves. Although those things which are behind me may never be again, only humble steps forward shall I endure with His helping hand. I may be a man, but with a frail child’s heart I will endure. It may be that path I have chosen to follow, but it is within Him that I trust and believe to bring me through the seasons of life.
Spring is as the youth of us all, fresh, clean, vibrant, full of life and with the promise of adventure. There will be times that I will walk the clouds with Him. Soaring like an eagle, holding my head up high. But there are the times I will feel alone when He appears not to be around. The dark valleys of life surround and overtake me, smothering me with darkness. It is then with only a bit of light that I may see from my darkness of troubles. In my heart, spirit and soul, He calls me by my name saying, “Come, my child, and walk with me.”
I shall find my way to conquer and achieve what lies before me. My God shall guide my path and I will endure. Troubles, troubles, troubles get behind me in the name of the living God. Be gone. Break away and surround me with the light of Heaven. It is when I climb out from my darkest hole; I lift up my sorrowed heart in song and loose my spirit to dance upon the morning horizon. I am free. I am free is the song of my spirit, as I shall rest upon the edge of night. My Lord, my God when He looks upon me will be pleased. If I choose to go alone, there may be times I walk upright, stumble, crawl, and I fall. That is not all that important, but I must pick myself up and choose to go on. No matter what comes my way, how dark the night, or how bad the storm, I must and will endure and go on. It will be the choice that I choose which will make the difference in me.
It is within the newly fallen rain that has showered down upon the meadow and across the hillside that I smell the fresh breath of life. The valley is green with life and an abundance of hope. It is in a short time that I shall grow older, as spring will pass and summer will come.
I find the seasons of my life shall grow as the grass, weaken as a young tree in a storm, and age as the moss on the banks of the creek. I have a new promise of a continuing hope that I may endure the harshness of the heat of summers, long droughts, and dried weeds. I may error to defeat that shall challenge me from time to time, but I will overcome that which lies before me, for my God and I are as one. With the freshness of spring my life slowly turns toward summer, I find myself a bit older now, my youth is all but the memory of moments past.
Stir dry winds, stir upon the earth. Dry up my bones as the creek beds and rob my joy from me. Oh summer, you may have me but in the fall, I shall bounce back. I, too, will be wiser, oh summer, and find rest in the coming of winter. And if by chance we shall meet in some golden meadow, it’s not me who shall send the rain. My God shall rescue me. Rain, oh rain, my God, quench this thirst in my soul that shall bring back the newness of life. Summer may enter with trying times, periods of troubles, struggles and battles along the way. But, it is through those times and on the battlefield that one learns to survive. I shall find rest in the hands of my God. The heat of the day may linger, lands may be dry, and the earth may begin to crack as the scorching sun appears. But, my God is still in control.
I shall look up into the hills from where the waters fall. There I shall find my strength in my weakness, and the keeper of my soul shall find grace. The battle is not over, the war has not been won, but I have received the victory for I have delivered my heart unto His hands.
I have found an energy that flows in the creek with a power so untold that I find myself walking in its bed, with dust clinging to my bare feet. Oh my Lord, my God, deliver me for I have wandered from the path. Set me free from the sands of hell. Let my soul be as the eagle once more or the daffodil of spring that flies in the winds. Lead me back o’ Lord I pray.
Through my youth, I foolishly prayed at an empty well where the water was tainted and musty. I have so failed. Oh Lord, let my feet rise above the scorched, parched creek bed. Let me wash my feet, humble me again. Guide my steps, oh Lord. Lend me your ear that I may cry as my heart sorrows.
There have been many times, within the seasons of life that it seems I have walked alone. Take my hand, oh Lord, lest I fall. Lift me, oh Lord, with your love and touch my troubled journey that I may endure to the end. The dust behind me may settle in the showers of the rains, the Lord only knows my heart, for it is He that breathes within me. I may walk it alone and my body may quiver and shake. It is when I lose it, He puts it back together again.
The meadow may be changing its color to reds, yellows, and browns. I have looked back in times where I have fell and fallen short. But, I am assured in my heart that my God, my Lord, is with me. He is in my tears, laughs, fears, and loneliness. In my mistakes and faults, He is with me to help me through. He is my all. All that is, is what’s behind me. All that I have been is in the passing of summer that autumn shall begin.
Through the changing of the seasons, from summer to fall, I am surrounded by all new worlds of bright colors and deep blue skies. Aged now, through life’s timeless battles, I have stepped forward from a child to an old man. Though my walk may be bent and my steps slower, my vessel is like a beached ship upon a sandy shore. The hull is cracked, the mass is ripped, and it sits alone on the beach as the waves of the sea crash in on it. Little by little and day by day, as time goes on, my body slowly breaks away. Crash goes the waves against the ship as the tide comes in. God as my Captain, I shall set sail again, not upon these watery banks, but in the blue skies above. Hear my cry, oh Lord, my God, and let my spirit sail amongst the bluest skies. Let the sun be my wheel and the clouds my bow and I shall float on the blue skies. Hear my cry, oh Lord.
I am not as young as I once was. I have slowed down in my time. I’m looking at things differently than I did years ago. I don’t take for granted anymore the sweet fragrance of flowers for I cherish each new day. As the rain softly beats upon my face, I don’t run. I get wet. I smile in my heart for the storm cloud I fear not. As the warm rain runs down my face, I know it won’t be long. The dust doesn’t bother me anymore and I can walk in the dry creek, and be refreshed. Oh Lord, oh God, I have called upon you. You have never failed me, but many times I have hurt you. Whatever it may be, no matter how it turns out, you are the first and the last, my everything. Let me cry, oh Lord, I pray my soul that you’ll not dry my eyes. Let me wet this earth with my tears that you may know the tears of disobedience. Let the tears of my sins flood the earth with your grace, and let me fly like the sparrow that fell once more.
As the stirring of the brisk autumn breeze speaks to my heart and bones, I know it won’t be too long. The magnificent colors of the flowers and trees paint a brilliant masterpiece, assuring me the time of age will soon come. As the artist paints and the poet writes, there is a still peace in my heart, in the cool of the autumn skies. As the autumn trees shed their leaves of many colors, they cling to the earth as I come to realize I shall not pass this way again.
There have been many of life’s bridges, some short and some long. It’s not what has passed under the bridges that count, but it is the bridge itself—my God who has helped me cross over. Some bridges have burned, some are left to burn, and som
e are yet to be crossed. It is my life that I have lived, some of it good, a lot of it bad. I made my choices, but it was the Lord who was always there. I find the stirring of joy in my heart like the freshness of the autumn breeze.
As I stand upon the peak of the mountain looking out and addressing the Heavens above, I then look up into the sky and watch patiently the passing of the geese. I know that it is a matter of time that I shall be on my way.
Autumn soon passed and winter set in, and I have but a short journey left. My hands are frail and wrinkled, and my walk is but a crawl. I’m bent over now more than before. My hair is white, my beard is long and wavy, my heart is weak, but my voice is still strong.
Winter came early, the ground soon covered with snow, and I looked out across the snow-covered fields that once were green and gold. As the sunlight gracefully dances across the snow, it glistened like diamonds; I hunch my shoulder and slip on my coat. I wonder if there will be another spring, with the chirping of the robin for me to see. But my heart lets me know with a slight chill inside.
The nights are longer and the darkness seems blacker than ever before. The coldness of winter runs throughout my body as the still night draws near. You know, it’s funny as I lie here and rest, I can smell the sweet fragrance of the flowers of spring. I can see the bright lights of summer along with the brilliant colors of autumn. Isn’t that funny! They seem so different this time. As the coldness of winter lingers on, I close my eyes. I once again stand high upon the peak of the mountains and patiently watch as the geese fly by.