“And she’d rather live without a husband?” Patience asked.
“Well... The way I heard it, she’d rather live without the fighting,” Mary replied. “A marriage takes two, dear, and she wasn’t used to Amos’s ways any more than he was accustomed to hers. There is always another side to the story.”
Patience brought the dress back to the table where she had better light and sat down to begin hemming the sleeves.
“Noah and Thomas came to stay with us because we had the room,” Mary went on. “Besides, the boys were both working with Amos in the carpentry shop, so they all knew each other well. When their mamm jumped the fence, they had the choice to go with her, or to stay with us. They both chose to stay.”
“Is he like a daet to them, then?” Patience asked.
“More like an older brother,” Mammi replied. “He’s protective. He gives advice. They’re as close to kinner as he’ll ever get, I suppose.”
How many women had just walked away from the men in his household? Amos’s wife abandoned him, and Noah and Thomas’s mother did the same. From what she could see of these men, they were kind and decent—and lonesome. Men needed some nurturing as much as anyone—maybe even more so when they seemed the strongest.
Mary rapped on the kitchen window. “Rue, stay away from there!”
“What’s she up to?” Patience went to the door and saw Rue stop short at Mary’s call. Rue had been headed toward the horse corral. She looked just like any other Amish girl now in her little pink cape dress, except her hair was shorter, with bangs in the front, and she still wore her flip-flops.
“Come back inside, Rue!” Patience called.
Rue turned and came back toward the house, dragging her feet and glancing over her shoulder a couple of times.
“I wanted to see the horses,” Rue said as she came up the steps.
“The horses aren’t for playing,” Patience replied. “They could squish you.”
Rue sighed and came indoors, her little flip-flops making a slapping sound against the bottoms of her feet.
“You can take those off,” Mary said. “Go barefoot.”
Rue stepped out of the sandals and walked away from them.
“Put them in the mudroom, dear,” Mary said. “We all have to pick up after ourselves, or else we’ll have nothing but mess and confusion.”
Rue looked up at Mary mutely, her eyes suddenly misting.
“It’s okay,” Patience said, and she scooped up the sandals herself, depositing them in the mudroom next to the men’s big boots. “Are you hungry, sugar?”
Rue smiled faintly at the endearment. “Yeah...”
“Come have a taste of some flatbread,” Mary said. “Come on, it’s okay. Come try it. Supper is ready soon. We’re just waiting on the men.”
Outside, she heard the sound of a buggy’s wheels crunching over gravel and the cheerful rumble of deep voices. The men were home. Rue came dancing across the room, a piece of flatbread in one hand, and she stood in front of the closed screen door, waiting.
Patience gathered up her work and put it into a sewing basket. The dress was nearly finished—two more hems and it was ready to be worn. When she’d cleared her work off the table, the door opened and Amos came inside.
“Something smells wonderful, Mammi,” Amos boomed out, and then he looked down at Rue. “Hello, Rue.”
Rue stared at him in wide-eyed silence.
“You can’t be so noisy with little girls,” Mary said, shaking her head. “Now, you wash up and sit down, Amos.”
Amos cast Patience a rueful look, but did as Mary asked of him. Noah was next to come inside, and he squatted down to say hello to Rue.
“I like that dress,” Noah said with a smile.
“It’s okay,” Rue said. “I can run in it.”
“Well, I like it,” Noah replied. “Did you know that I’m your uncle?”
Rue shook her head.
“Well, I am. I’m Uncle Noah. And when Uncle Amos gets too noisy, you just tell me, okay?”
Rue shot a look toward Mary, and Patience chuckled.
“Mammi can take care of that, too, I’m sure.”
Noah grinned in Patience’s direction and stood up to go wash his hands when Thomas came inside. His gaze moved over the kitchen, stopping at Patience for a moment, and he gave her a small smile. He had already washed, and he had a package in his hand—a white plastic bag.
“I brought something,” Thomas said, turning to Rue.
“For me?” Rue whispered.
“Yah, for my little girl,” Thomas said, and handed her the bag.
Rue opened it and pulled out a cloth doll wearing a purple Amish dress and a bonnet. She looked at it for a moment, then tears welled in her eyes.
“No,” she whispered.
“What’s wrong, Rue?” Patience asked, bending down next to her.
“No!” Rue said. “I don’t like it! I don’t want it!”
“It’s a beautiful doll, sugar,” Patience said. “I think it’s lovely.”
“I don’t!” Rue shook her head. “I want a Barbie. I want a Barbie with long hair and pretty dresses.”
A Barbie... Patience didn’t even know what that was. When she looked up, she saw Thomas standing there awkwardly, his gift rejected. He took off his hat and ran a hand through his hair.
“What’s a Barbie?” Patience asked.
“An Englisher toy. The kinner love them...” Thomas put his hat on a hook and heaved a sigh. “I’m sorry, Rue. We don’t play with Barbies here.”
Tears spilled down Rue’s cheeks, her lower lip trembling, and Patience scooped her up in her arms, cuddling her close. Rue pushed her wet face into Patience’s neck and let out a trembling sigh. The discarded doll lay on the floor next to the crumpled plastic bag.
Thomas looked at her with a helpless expression on his face. He bent down and picked up the doll and bag. He wadded the bag up in one hand, and placed the doll on the corner of the table.
“I thought I’d try,” he said, his voice low.
“Give it time,” Patience said. “She’ll play with it eventually.”
Maybe. Unless she decided to blame all things Amish for the depth of her loss.
“Yah.” Thomas lifted his hand as if he wanted to pat his daughter’s back, and then he let it drop. “Would you stay for dinner, Patience?”
“I don’t mean to intrude on your family time,” Patience said.
“No, it would be...helpful,” Thomas replied. “If you wanted to, at least.”
“Sure,” she replied. “If it would help.”
* * *
Thomas picked up the doll and carried it into the other room. He looked down at the fabric body, with the little purple cape dress that was a perfect imitation of the dresses worn by the women in their community. The doll had brown hair made of string that disappeared behind a crisp white kapp. Lovina Glick had sold it to him—one of several she had for sale. There had been one doll with blond hair like Rue’s, but she’d been wearing a black dress, and Thomas thought she’d like a purple dress better.
He’d shown the doll to Noah and Amos, and they’d thought it was a great idea, too. He’d wanted to make his daughter happy, and her reaction cut him more deeply than he wanted the others to know.
When he came back into the kitchen, Rue was sitting next to Noah at the table, and Patience was in the kitchen with Mammi.
Noah gave Thomas a sympathetic shrug, silently offering some emotional support.
“Rue, why don’t you come help me?” Mammi called. “We need someone to wash carrots. Do you think you could do that?”
Rue looked over hesitantly.
“The water is nice and cold,” Patience added. “It would feel so nice on your hands.”
Rue climbed down from her chair and headed over to where the women were working
, and Thomas met his brother’s gaze.
“I asked her about the doll,” Noah said. “She says she likes the rooster better.”
Thomas smiled at that and shook his head. “She’s a stubborn one.”
“A lot like her daet, might I add,” Amos said, coming to the table with a stack of plates. “You were never one to settle into anything without a struggle. Look at what it took to get you home and Amish again.”
Thomas had to admit that was true. He’d had to go out there and make his own mess of mistakes before he could see that the Amish life was the one for him. So maybe expecting a more submissive personality from his own daughter wasn’t realistic. That possibility was also daunting. It was one thing for a man to accept his own mistakes in his journey home, but quite another to face the likelihood of his daughter doing the same.
“I’m going to pick three more carrots!” Rue said, running for the door. Thomas watched her slam outside, then looked over at Mary and Patience.
“Oh, she’s fine,” Mary said. “It’s good to have young ones help. Besides, they have more energy.”
Mary looked out the window, then rapped on the glass.
“No, Rue! Not those! Those are cucumbers!” Mammi called. “Over more...more...by the tree, Rue! Yes!”
Patience stood at the counter mashing potatoes, and he saw the smile tickle her lips. She glanced up and met his gaze, her eyes glittering with humor.
“She’s gone to see the chickens...” Mary sighed, turning back to the stove. “The Englishers really don’t teach their kinner how to fetch things, do they?”
Patience laughed. “She’s new at this.”
Mary muttered something Thomas couldn’t make out, and he chuckled. “She’ll come back with carrot tops, you know.”
Four-year-old Englishers didn’t know how to pull carrots, and he got up from his seat and headed to the side door to see how she was doing. But when he got there, all he could see was a single, dirt-covered carrot, several more carrot tops, as he’d predicted, but no Rue. She wasn’t in the garden or at the chicken coop, either. His heart sped up, and as he scanned the property, he spotted her over by the corral.
“Rue!” he called.
Rue looked over her shoulder, but didn’t stop moving closer to the horses. The unbroken stallion was closest to the fence, and Thomas’s heart stuttered to a stop.
“Rue!” he barked, sounding a whole lot gruffer than he even intended. The girl stopped. She didn’t turn, though, and she seemed undecided about what she was going to do. He didn’t have time to find out.
Thomas headed out of the house and then strode across the yard in Rue’s direction. She saw him coming, and instead of turning back, she climbed up on the fence and thrust her hand out toward the stallion.
The horse, whether in response to the unexpected hand, or to Thomas’s thundercloud of a face, shied back just as Thomas arrived and slipped an arm around Rue’s waist, plucking her neatly off the fence.
Rue set up a howl, and he stalked back toward the house, his daughter under his arm. His heart was hammering hard in his chest, and when he got to the side door, he was met with four mildly surprised adults staring at him.
“She went for the horses,” he said, putting Rue down. She immediately collapsed into a pile, wailing her heart out.
“That’s very dangerous,” Amos said. “And she didn’t listen.”
“I’m telling you,” Mary said, fire in her eyes. “It’s those Englishers and their lazy way of bringing up their kinner. No discipline!”
But Thomas wasn’t actually convinced of that. Rue couldn’t be blamed for not knowing the dangers around her. She hadn’t been raised with horses and chickens and carrots that came from the ground. She knew about cars, crosswalks and not to talk to strangers. Not much of that applied here—not on a daily basis, at least.
And yet, he was the daet here, and everyone was looking to him to decide on what should be done. It wasn’t just a misunderstanding—she’d willfully disobeyed. She had to be disciplined, but the prospect of doing so clamped a vise around his chest.
“Come, Rue,” he said firmly, picking her up and setting her on her feet. Then he led her out of the kitchen and up the stairs.
Rue continued to cry, but he could tell at this point that her crying was mostly put on for effect, and she watched him with teary curiosity as he led her up to the bedroom she shared with Mary.
He set her on the side of Mary’s bed, and she sniffled and wiped her eyes.
“Why didn’t you obey?” he asked, sitting down on the edge of the bed next to her.
Rue didn’t answer.
“There are rules in this home, Rue,” Thomas said slowly. “And they are going to be different rules than what you had with your mamm. You won’t have to worry about the same things. There will be no day care, or holding a rope, or electrical sockets. But there are dangers here, too. And those horses are dangerous. They could crush you.”
“I wanted to hug him,” Rue said.
Thomas felt that rise of frustration. Why did she have to be so different? Why couldn’t she see reason? Obviously, small kinner weren’t going to be as rational as when they got older, but even the little Amish kinner knew better than to try to hug horses in a corral. They learned quickly from the adults around them.
“He could have bitten you,” Thomas added. “That horse has very big teeth.”
Rue pulled her fingers back into a small fist and licked her lips.
“You must never disobey like that again,” Thomas said firmly. “What did your mamm do when you got in trouble at home?”
Rue blinked up at him.
“Did you get sent to your room? Did you get put in a corner?”
Rue didn’t answer. Had she been corrected at all?
He looked around the room. He had to make a point, or else she might get herself badly injured next, all because of uncurbed defiance.
His gaze landed on her suitcase, and he rose to his feet and went over to it. Rue’s gaze followed him, and as he opened the case, her entire body lurched forward.
“No!” Rue shouted.
Thomas pulled her pajamas out of the case and laid them on the edge of the bed.
“I am going to leave you your pajamas, but I am taking the rest of your old clothes until you can listen better. When you are able to do as you’re told and obey the first time, you can have your suitcase back.”
Rue’s eyes stayed fixed on the case, filling with tears. The color had gone out of her cheeks and her hands trembled. “No...”
He could already feel how deeply this was cutting the girl, but he’d made a decision and he had to stand by it. Kinner didn’t benefit from parents who swayed with the wind, and she had to learn to listen, if only for her own safety.
“Yah, Rue,” he said firmly, picking up the case. “Now, you will come downstairs for your dinner.”
Rue turned her back on him and laid her head down on Mary’s pillow with a shuddering sigh. She didn’t cry again, but she didn’t turn to look at him, either, and he stared at that tiny form, filled with his own misgiving. Was this going too far?
But he’d made his decision, and he couldn’t go back on it now, so taking the suitcase with him, he left the room and deposited it inside his closet. When he came back down the hall, he looked in Mary’s room again and Rue hadn’t changed her position. She lay on the bed, so small that she barely took up a corner, her entire body curved around her knees, and her tangled blond hair spread across the white cotton of Mary’s pillow.
“You can come down for dinner, Rue,” he repeated.
“No,” Rue said.
So he carried on down the stairs. The meal was on the table, and Amos and Noah were both seated already. Patience was just putting a bowl of gravy on the table when she spotted him.
“Is she coming to eat?” Mary asked.
“No, she doesn’t want to,” Thomas replied.
“What did you do?” Noah asked. “A lecture?”
“A lecture, and—” He swallowed. “I took her suitcase.”
“Just as well,” Mary said, coming to the table. “Those clothes are inappropriate for our girls anyway. If she’s going to be one of us, those clothes had to go. The sooner the better.”
Patience didn’t speak, but there was a tightness around her mouth that betrayed an opinion, and she dropped her gaze.
“Let’s pray,” Amos said, bowing his head. “For this food we are about to eat, make us truly grateful. Amen.”
“Amen,” the rest of them murmured, and there was the rustle of food being passed and the clink of dishing up.
“Was I wrong?” Thomas asked, turning toward Patience.
“You’re her daet,” she said simply.
“But was I wrong?” he pressed. “I know what Mammi thinks. I want to know what you think.”
Patience accepted the bowl of mashed potatoes from Noah and handed them to Thomas.
“Those clothes are more than something she likes,” Patience said, her voice low so that only he could hear her. “They are her last link to her dead mamm.”
He knew that, and he hated the way she’d caved in like that when he took them. He wasn’t going to burn them—and he knew plenty of men who might in the same situation.
“If she’d liked the doll, I might have taken that away. But something had to be done.”
“I agree...”
“Any ideas?” he asked.
Patience shrugged weakly. “She’s lost too much. I don’t know. Maybe other kinner to play with—to see how they’re expected to behave—might help.”
And that seemed to be the only answer that kept coming back—she needed other kinner in her life, and the sooner the better. If he was already married, there would be siblings, but as it was, he’d have to find her some playmates one way or another.
Thomas accepted a plate of chicken from Mary and took a leg, then passed it to Patience. She took some white meat and passed it along.
“Ben Smoker asked if one of us would help him with a broken gate tomorrow,” Amos said.
The Nanny's Amish Family Page 7