“I got overly attached to a turkey when I was a kid,” Ben said. “I named it and begged my daet not to kill it for Christmas dinner.”
“Did he save it?” Thomas asked. Was there an elderly turkey running around their farm because of a small boy’s love?
“What? No...” Ben shrugged. “We’d raised that turkey specifically for Christmas dinner. So my daet butchered it. It took me a full year to forgive him, though. And by the next Christmas, I still carried a small grudge against him. But we had a family of ten kinner to feed, plus the guests who’d come by. That turkey was food, and there was no getting around it.”
A family with ten children... That was the kind of family an Amish man dreamed of. That was the kind of family that would give Rue the siblings who would help her feel her place in this community. They’d belong to each other... Or that was what he’d thought, at least. Thomas looked at his friend thoughtfully for a moment.
“Do you wish he’d saved it?” Thomas asked, at last. “I mean, you know that they had to eat it, and all, but do you wish he’d done it for you?”
Ben’s expression softened and he rubbed a hand through his scraggly beard. “It would have meant the world to me if he had.”
A family with ten kinner, and a boy’s heart had still turned to the Christmas turkey. But even with all that family around, a loving gesture for one little boy would have made all the difference for him.
“Look, if you want to sell me the bird, you can tell her that it went to a farm, and I’ll cook that rooster myself,” Ben said. “If that helps you in getting rid of it.”
“No,” Thomas said. “Rue has already decided that Toby is part of the family, and I’ve been informed that we don’t eat family. I suppose we shouldn’t let neighbors eat family, either. It’s the spirit of the thing.”
Ben chuckled. “Fair enough. Well, I just wanted to make sure that we were square between us, Thomas.”
“Yah, we’re fine,” Thomas replied. “Thanks.”
Ben nodded and turned toward the door. Thomas watched him go, then picked up the sandpaper once more. But this time he stared down at it, his mind spinning.
Was it possible to love his daughter so well that she found the roots she needed without brothers and sisters? Maybe he’d been defining family wrong... Sometimes families looked different because of how life had unfolded. He was a single daet, and his mamm was returning to the community... Maybe Rue needed to see his mamm loved well, in spite of the hard times, in spite of her changed views. Maybe Rue needed to see a wife loved deeply, whether or not she could have babies. Maybe the family Rue needed to see wasn’t the traditional Amish family of a mamm, a daet and a large group of siblings. Perhaps his daughter needed to see their family just as it was, complete with imperfections, hurts, hopes and devotion. And maybe, just maybe, Patience could be a part of it...
She didn’t want to be the one who held him back from the family she thought he wanted, but there might be a way to convince her that if she agreed to be his, he wasn’t settling at all—he was reaching for the highest happiness he could hope for on this earth.
“Noah!” Thomas brushed off his clothes with a sweep of his hands, and headed for the door that led to the sales shop.
An older Amish couple were just leaving, and both Noah and Amos looked up.
“I know this is a lot to ask since I’ve been taking so much time off for my daughter, but would you mind if I left a couple of hours early today?” Thomas asked.
The clock on the wall showed it was nearly three o’clock, and school would be letting out in a matter of minutes.
“What’s the rush?” Amos asked with a frown.
“I’m going to do something that might be incredibly stupid,” Thomas admitted. “But then again, it might be wonderful.”
Noah exchanged a look with Amos and both men grinned.
“So you’re going to propose, are you?” Amos asked.
Thomas shot them an irritated look. “I’ll make up the time. However, this goes, I’ll need to be working—either to save for a wedding, or to drown my sorrow.”
“Don’t let us keep you,” Noah said, gesturing toward the door. “And I’m praying for the wedding, Thomas. She’s a good choice!”
Thomas headed for the door and refused to look back. He knew that Noah and Amos meant well, but right now he didn’t want their good-humored ribbing. What he wanted was to get to the schoolhouse and see Patience... Because that was where his heart already was. He needed to see her once more, hold her hand again, and if she’d accept him, pull her back into his arms for good. He didn’t know if she would accept him, but he was adding his prayers to his brother’s.
Gott, I believe You’ve shown me the wife for me...if only You’d bring us together.
Chapter Fourteen
“Bartholomew, you may ring the bell now,” Patience said.
If she had to be honest, she’d been looking forward to the sound of that clanging bell overhead, too, and not just because she was tired. The kinner were wonderful—three first graders, and four eighth graders, with a spattering of kinner in the grades between. They were good kids—smart, eager and funny. She was looking forward to this year together, and it would be better still when she could finally put her heartbreak behind her.
But today, her pain was very, very fresh.
Bartholomew, an eighth-grade boy, opened the door that revealed the bell’s cord and gave it a hard pull. The bell clanged above them, and the kinner jumped to their feet, chattering away excitedly.
There were a couple of buggies waiting for some smaller kinner who had too far to walk, but most of them would walk home, their lunch boxes swinging at their sides and backpacks holding their first homework.
“Goodbye, Teacher,” said Naomi, a little girl not much bigger than Rue was. She had similar straight blond hair pulled back into a ponytail and she smiled up at Patience adoringly.
“Goodbye, Naomi,” Patience said with a smile. “I’ll see you tomorrow.”
Naomi dashed out, her older sister and brother already outside the schoolhouse, and Patience tried to soothe the sadness that welled in her heart when she thought of Rue. One day, she’d be Rue’s teacher, but it wasn’t quite enough. Not for the love she already carried for the girl. To be called Teacher would be an honor, but to be called Mamm...
She pushed back the thought—it wasn’t wise to let herself think of such things. She knew better than to allow herself to long for things that couldn’t be hers.
“Have a good day, Patience,” one of the mamms called into the door.
“Thank you! You, too!” Patience called back.
She went down the rows of desks, picking up bits of garbage on the floor and straightening a chair or tucking a paper inside a desk. She stood and looked around. This was her classroom, and it would mean something different to every student she taught, but to her, it would be a refuge—somewhere she could be something more.
The front door opened again just as Patience bent down to pick up a little carved horse. It was Naomi’s, and Patience had made her promise to take it home and not bring it back to school again. But she hadn’t confiscated it. She wanted to give Naomi the chance to do the right thing.
“Patience?”
She froze at the sound of Thomas’s voice, and then looked up, breathless. Thomas stood in the doorway, then the door swung shut behind him, leaving them alone. She held the little horse in the palm of her hand, and she put it down on the top of Naomi’s desk.
“Hi...” she said. “I wasn’t expecting you.”
“I know,” Thomas said. He wound his way through the desks toward her, and when he got to her, she felt the tears well up inside her. She’d pushed her heartbreak back all day for the sake of the kinner, and now facing him...
“This isn’t fair, Thomas,” she said. “I’m trying to be strong—”
“Patience, let me tell you about something, and then I promise that I’ll leave you be. But hear me out.”
Patience nodded, sucking in a stabilizing breath.
“I want to marry you,” he said.
She shook her head. “But we’ve been over this—”
“I had a bit of an epiphany today,” he said quietly. “It had to do with Toby the rooster and Ben Smoker’s turkey, and...”
“This doesn’t make any sense,” she said, a smile toying at her lips.
“Long story short, my daughter needs love,” he said. “She needs real, honest love. She doesn’t need a perfect Amish setup, she needs to see her grandmother loved in spite of a difficult history, and she needs to have a ratty rooster that is part of the family just because she loves it. I’ve been seeing this all wrong, Patience. A family’s love isn’t purer for the number of kinner born to it, and a child doesn’t feel more loved because of a wealth of siblings. Love is...love! It’s a mother finding a place with her family, even after years of heartbreak. It’s two brothers who look up to a man like a father, even though he is no blood relative. It’s a man and a woman who love each other so deeply—” he reached out and caught her hand “—that they choose to face whatever Gott brings them side by side, shoulder to shoulder.”
“Is that me?” she whispered.
“Yah.” He tugged her closer. “I want that to be you. I’m not going to regret anything, Patience. I believe Gott brought us together for a reason. How many women would be able to love my little Englisher girl the way you do? How many would be wary of her influencing the other kinner? But you’ve loved Rue for the little person she is right from the start. I want my daughter to grow up with you as her mamm. And I want you as my wife.”
“Even with no other kinner?” she asked.
“That is in Gott’s hands,” he replied. “Maybe we’ll adopt. Maybe we won’t. But Gott started something in us, Patience, and I believe this is something...” he touched her cheek with the back of one finger, the scent of wood shavings close and comforting “...this is something wonderful.”
She nodded slowly, and she thought of the Kauffmans with their devoted marriage and their life of loving the ones who needed a mamm and daet, even for a little while. A life together, finding a way to love those around them, raising one little girl with love and purpose and direction...
“Patience, I love you,” he added pleadingly.
“I love you, too.” She lifted her gaze to meet his.
“Enough to marry me?” he asked hopefully. “Enough to trust me to never look back, never look to the side... Enough to be ours?”
“Yah.”
Thomas slipped his arms around her and lowered his lips over hers. He pulled her in close, his stubble tickling her chin as he kissed her. His arms were strong and she let herself melt into his embrace.
The door opened just then, and Patience startled. She pulled back, instinctively putting her hand up to her kapp to make sure her hair was in place.
“Teacher?” Naomi said uncertainly.
“Naomi!” Patience laughed breathily, tugging herself out of Thomas’s arms. She went to her desk and picked up the toy horse. “You forgot this, didn’t you?”
“Yah...” Naomi looked over at Thomas uncertainly, and Patience brought her the toy.
“You run along home now,” Patience said. “And no more bringing toys to school, okay?”
“Okay.” Naomi headed back out, and Patience nearly wilted when the door closed once more.
“You said yes, right?” Thomas said. “You’d just agreed to be my wife?”
“I said yes,” she confirmed, and a smile spread over her face.
Thomas crossed the distance between them and kissed her once more. “I’ll talk to the bishop today, then, because I have a feeling the rumors are about to explode around here—starting at that little girl’s house. He’d better be in the know.”
Patience couldn’t help but laugh. “I think you’re right.”
And this time when Patience looked around the schoolroom, she saw more than a chance at a life where she could contribute, she saw a future with a husband by her side and a little girl who’d call her Mamm. A family of her own—maybe not the most traditional in appearance, but purposefully pieced together by Gott’s own hands.
And when Gott brought a family together, let no man put it asunder.
Epilogue
The wedding was held in late October after all the harvesting was done and the community was free to celebrate. Patience’s family came for the wedding, and the community of Redemption pulled together to cook and prepare for the only wedding that fall.
Thomas rented a house on another Amish family’s property. It was a little house originally meant for some farm employees to live in, but it was just perfect for their little family—three bedrooms, a large kitchen, a small sitting room and a bathroom. That was all—but what else did they need? Patience had already set up the kitchen the way she wanted it to be arranged, and Thomas had carefully built their new bedroom set—polishing it by hand. He’d made a special little bed for Rue, too—she’d need more than just the cot she’d been sleeping on so far.
But this wedding wasn’t only about him and Patience, it was about Rue, too. This wedding was going to join Thomas and Patience as husband and wife, and Rue would get a mamm of her very own. And for this happy day, Thomas’s handiwork wasn’t what would matter most to his little girl.
So that morning, while the women put the last of the food into the refrigerated trailer, and while Patience got ready for the wedding in Mammi’s bedroom with the help of her mother and two of her sisters, Thomas sat with his daughter in the bedroom that used to be his. He was already dressed in his Sunday best, and Rue was wearing a pink dress just like the other women who were standing as Patience’s newehockers for the day.
“It’s a wedding quilt,” Thomas said as Rue unfolded the quilt that Patience had sewn late into the evenings, stitching together squares of Rue’s clothing from the suitcase. “But it’s a special one. Patience said it was more important that you have your quilt than we have a new one for our bed.”
Besides, his mother and Mary had been staying up late into the evenings, too, sewing some quilts to be used on their beds during that winter. Each stitch was sewn with love.
“That’s my unicorn shirt,” Rue whispered, running her fingers over the familiar fabric. “And that’s my striped dress—and my pink shorts!”
Thomas ran his hand over Rue’s pale hair.
“Do you like it, Rue?” he asked.
“Yah. It’s my favorite,” she said, and she hugged the quilt against her chest. “And today is a happy day. It’s the day you and Patience become a mister and missus.”
“Well, we Amish don’t use those titles, Rue,” he said.
Rue put her small hand on his knee and gave him a serious look. “It’s an important day, the day you become a mister, Daddy.”
Thomas laughed and scooped her off the bed and into his arms.
“I’ll explain all of that to you later. But right now, I want you to go into the bedroom where Patience is getting ready, because she’s going to need you.”
“And what will you do?” Rue asked.
“I’m going out to the tent. I have to wait there until you and Patience come. It’s what the men do when they’re getting married.”
Thomas carried Rue out into the hallway, and he put her down in front of Mary’s bedroom door just as his mamm came up the stairs. There were female voices coming from inside and a peal of laughter.
“Oh, no, you don’t!” Rachel said with a laugh. “The bride is to be left alone until the ceremony. You know that, son.”
Thomas bent down and kissed his mamm’s cheek. “I’ll leave Rue with you, then.”
He shot his mother a grin as she paused with her hand on t
he doorknob to Mary’s bedroom, refusing to open it even a crack until he headed down the stairs. And Rue stood there, standing tall and proud with a smile on her face.
“He’s gonna be a mister,” Rue told her grandmother seriously. “And I think then I’d better call him Daet.”
Thomas pretended not to hear, but he smothered a laugh. Was that the line for Rue when she’d finally let him be her Amish daet instead of a daddy—the day he married Patience? To finally be called Daet by his little girl would be the finest wedding gift anyone could offer him, and he sent up a prayer of wordless thanks to Gott for all of these blessings.
Patience was up there getting dressed, hearing all the last-minute advice from her married sisters and from her mamm. And they’d need all of it—all the advice and love and support that their families and their community could offer them.
As for Thomas, Amos and Noah didn’t have much advice for him between them except to say, “Remember how blessed you are in marrying that woman. And treat her like you’re grateful. We think that should cover it.”
It likely would. And he was grateful. Thomas paused in the kitchen and looked up the stairs. He couldn’t wait to say his vows and to finally claim Patience as his own.
“Out, out, out!” Mary said, flapping a towel at him. “Everyone is ready for you in the tent—they sent one of the kinner to tell me. Let’s get you wed, Thomas. It’s high time.”
Thomas headed out the door to where Amos and Noah waited for him under trees ablaze in golden splendor. The men rubbed their hands together in the chilly autumn air, their breath hanging in front of them as they hunched their shoulders up against the chill. It was colder than usual, and while there wasn’t snow yet, there would be soon. Noah grinned at him and Amos just stood there with a goofy smile on his face.
“Let’s go,” Thomas said. “I’m getting married today.”
Then the three of them headed for the tent, the golden leaves swirling free in a gust of wind. Today was his wedding day, and in the presence of his family and community, he’d vow to love Patience, to stand by her, to defend her and to honor her.
The Nanny's Amish Family Page 17