by Deja Voss
When he tosses my dress over his shoulder into the grass, I shiver, not because it’s so cold, but because he looks like he’s going to rip me to shreds. I know I instigated this. I hook my heels behind him, wrapping my legs around his waist as the rough cement of the utility shed digs into my bare back. He pulls my bra down, his tattooed fingers twisting and pulling my nipples until they are hardened peaks. He brings his mouth to them biting down just enough to make it hurt in the most delicious possible way.
“You like that?” he growls. “You want to know what it feels like to be a sweet butt?”
His eyes light up as I bite my lip and nod. “Fuck me like a dirty slut,” I plead. “Let me be whatever your fantasy is. Just for tonight.”
He doesn’t need to know that this is exactly what my fantasy is, being taken roughly by a man as sexy as he is. Being punished for being such a dirty girl. Hot sex with no strings attached and submitting to his every desire.
He pulls his dick out of his jeans, and it’s rock hard and so wide my jaw instantly drops. I drop to my knees, taking him in my mouth as his fingers tangle through my hair.
Nothing gentle. Nothing delicate. Nothing polite. Exactly what I need.
He groans as I take him deeper and deeper in my mouth, desperate to please him.
It’s so fucking sexy watching this big, brutal, gorgeous man lose himself in me, the way his eyes are just halfway open as he watches me swirl my tongue around his dick. I’m so wet, so ready for him,
He pulls me up off the ground and mashes his lips to mine, his tongue filling my mouth. There’s something electric in that kiss, maybe it’s because it was kind of unexpected. Kissing is for lovemaking, for people who care about each other romantically, kissing is not at all what I thought we would be doing back here, but it feels so fucking good.
His hands grip my thighs,
“Turn around,” he commands, and I press my hands up against the wall as he rips my stockings, tearing them right at the crotch, his fingers pushing inside me without hesitation. I’m so wet, I’m so ready.
He brings his fingers to my mouth, shoving them in as his cock thrusts into my pussy. His other hand grabs my wrists, pinning me to the wall, making sure I can’t get away, not that I would even think of trying. His thrusts feel so good, and when his fingers travel to my clit, I can’t hold back any longer.
“Cum for me,” he growls in my ear. “Cum all over my dick, girl.”
He’s knows exactly what he’s doing and I don’t think I’ll ever be the same.
Taking me.
Claiming me.
Showing me exactly who is in charge.
Ripping me out of this hellish day and putting me in a place where I am only here to be used by him. Fucked by him. Destroyed by him.
Exactly what I wanted. Exactly what I need.
“Jewel!” a voice screams from afar. I gasp as Brass slaps his hand over my mouth. “Where are you babe? You need a ride home?”
It’s Gin. I know she’s my friend, but I really don’t know how she’d react if she caught us together, and I don’t want to find out. Fortunately Brass has the same idea. He slides out of me and hurriedly tucks his still hard cock in his jeans.
“I’m sorry,” I whisper as I pick my dress up off the ground and throw it over my head, doing my best to smooth it. I grab the elastic from my wrist and throw my hair up in a ponytail, patting myself on the face a couple times, trying to bring myself back to reality.
“I’m sorry, too,” Brass whispers. He kisses the top of my head and paces off in the opposite direction of where the yells are coming from. I can’t help but smile as I watch him walk away. The man certainly knows how to use his tools. I know whatever just happened wasn’t sweet or innocent, but something about him makes me feel like it was perfectly natural and ok.
I sigh as I walk towards the sound of Gin’s shouts. I’m hobbling a little, and I’m not sure if it’s because of the alcohol or the fact that Brass basically ripped me in half.
It was supposed to be a one and done, but I don’t know if I’m going to be able to forget this for a long time between the aching between my legs and the weird fuzzy feeling in my heart.
“I’m over here!” I yell. “You bitch with bad timing,” I mutter under my breath.
She’s standing in the parking lot with her hands on her hips. “It’s freezing out here! What are you doing?”
“I needed some fresh air,” I say. “Sorry, today’s just been a lot.”
“Come on, Rowdy’s gonna drive us home.”
I know getting out of here right now is probably the best thing for me, but part of me just wants to go back inside and hang out with Brass.
I’m so stupid.
He doesn’t want me. He was just pitying me. I threw myself at him. It is what it is, and now it’s time for me to go home and forget this day ever happened. To him I will always be Barney’s old lady. To everyone.
Gin wraps her arm around my shoulder and Rowdy opens the door to his truck. I slide in the backseat and sprawl out across it, knowing that pretending like I’m asleep is probably the best way to keep my secret safe.
Fall asleep and never talk about this again, even though it was the best I ever had and I want more. It just can’t be. For the first time today, I start to cry.
“You alright, sweetie?” Rowdy asks.
“I will be,” I say. Gin reaches over from the front seat and strokes my leg. “I think I just need to sleep it off.”
I reach in my purse looking for a stick of gum, and Barney’s suicide note is tucked in there. Brass must have slipped it in when I wasn’t looking. Its like everywhere I go, there’s always going to be that reminder hanging over my head.
Chapter Five
One Year Later:
Jewel:
I wake up with a splitting headache and my mouth feels like it’s full of sand. Like I fell asleep on the beach face down after chugging a bottle of tequila. I try to roll over and cough it out, but quickly realize my hands are bound above my head and I’m not laying down at all.
I try to open my eyes, but everything in the room starts to spin and I feel myself drifting into unconsciousness.
“Go to sleep Jewel. Close your eyes and come to me…” his voice whispers. I can feel his breath on my neck. I can smell the stale cigarettes and the vanilla candles he used to burn constantly around the house.
“This isn’t fucking real. You aren’t fucking real.” I squint my eyes tight, praying that when I open them, I’ll wake up and this will just be some bad dream.
I blink them open for a second, and I’m still in this strange place, the kind of place nightmares comes from.
I fight wildly against my restraints, knowing that if I close my eyes for any length of time, if I let myself go to that place of unconsciousness, I’ll soon be in hell with Barney.
I try and pry my eyelids open again, fighting the urge to just let go, fighting the pain radiating through every inch of my body, the coldness on my naked flesh. The bright light coming through the window of the shack nearly blinds me, and I turn my head to the floor which is spattered in bright red blood. Fresh blood. My blood.
“Who the fuck are you, you sick freak?” I ask, but it comes out as a whisper.
My feet barely touch the floor and metal shackles hang heavy from my ankles. I have no idea how I got here, how long I’ve been here, or where I am, but as I turn my wrists in the handcuffs hanging from the ceiling, I realize I can’t move my fingers because they’re so swollen. Any shred of control or power I have has been taken from me.
My heart races a million miles a minute as I try to regain my composure.
Think back, Jewel. Think back as far as you remember.
Gin and I were riding in a car. An Uber. Ladies night out. We went to the Blue Moon for a drag show. The two of us never have the same night off, ever. There’s a reason why we don’t go out unsupervised because we both get beyond wasted and usually start shit. That’s why she’s my ride or die.
I look around the little shack, my vision still blurred. Did they get her, too? She’s a tough chick, not afraid of much of anything, but she’s about as strong as a toothpick. I try and shout for her, but my throat feels like it’s full of sandpaper and my voice comes out weak.
Tears run down my face, thinking about how I let myself get so fucked up I couldn’t even remember what happened to my friend.
That’s all I have in this world. My friends. My biker family.
I make decent money bartending, but I’m not rich or wildly successful by any means. My “real” family doesn’t want anything to do with me because I failed out of college. My boyfriend died over a year ago and ever since then, I’ve kind of been a ghost myself. Not because I miss him so hard, but because I don’t know how to separate myself from being Barney’s “widow.”
“Gin,” I croak. “You okay girl?”
“Gin’s at home sleeping soundly.” The deep voice is coming from the shadows. I can’t make out a face, and he doesn’t sound familiar to me. “This has nothing to do with her.”
He steps out into the moonlight in the center of the room, and even though he’s not a big menacing guy by any means, my stomach turns as soon as I see the gold tooth and 666 tattoo right below his eye, because in that instant, I realize this isn’t some random abduction.
I fight up against my restraints, tearing at the flesh of my wrists and he just stands there and laughs.
“Tire yourself out, Jewel, be my guest,” he says.
“What the hell do you want from me?” I ask. In my current condition, he could definitely take whatever he wanted. There isn’t a scrap of clothes on me. I’m dehydrated. I’m weak. My mind is breaking down as I struggle to keep consciousness.
Even more frightening than my physical and mental condition is the fact that I know he doesn’t want any of that.
Floyd Wilkins has only wanted one thing since he got out of jail - to get the power back that his redneck white trash hate club once had over this city.
And unfortunately, I’ve managed to be a part of the derailment of that plan, even though it wasn’t one hundred percent on purpose.
That might be my only saving grace. Playing innocent. There’s no way he can know everything I know. Every day since Barney died, I feel like I’ve been unraveling a massive ball of bullshit, tugging at this thread just to find out the things he was doing behind the MC’s back were things that could’ve got a lot of people killed.
The Royal Bastards wouldn’t touch Floyd and his crew, The Righteous Few, with a ten foot pole. No amount of money in the world is worth it to them to get wrapped up in that bullshit. But Barney… he was a shadier motherfucker than any of us was aware when he was alive.
Every step closer Floyd takes to me, my body revolts. He smells like cat piss. I can taste the three too many martinis I had burning my esophagus. I can only hope if I puke on him, maybe he’ll leave me alone.
“Who are you?” I ask.
“Now’s not the time to play dumb, Jewel baby.” He reaches out his finger and strokes the flesh of my stomach, and I vomit instantly. “Oh, don’t be so dramatic. You’ve had worse.”
“Fuck you,” I say. “You don’t know shit about me. You got the wrong woman. You can’t just do this. The police will be here any minute and your ass will be back in jail for the rest of your life.”
“So you do know who I am?” he asks with a sneer. He winds back his fist and punches me right in the nose. Blood and tears run down my face, and the jolt of pain hits me so hard, I start to see stars.
I know if I didn’t have these restraints on, I could take him out. I’m sure he knows it, too, but that’s always been Floyd’s style. He doesn’t fight fair. “Of course you do. Everybody knows who I am.”
“You’re a washed up wannabe gangster,” I shout, spraying blood from my mouth and nose all over him. “You’re a fucking joke.”
There’s rage in his eyes as he pulls back his fist and lands it in my stomach. Anything left inside me from earlier today is now on its way up. I feel like I’m going to die right here, right now.
“You’re a lot stupider than I figured. Then again, bitches like you are always that way. You think just because you have a cunt between your legs you can say and do whatever you want. You don’t know what’s best for you. Don’t have a real man in your life to put you in your place.”
“Is that why you dragged me here?” I ask. I don’t know if I’m getting delusional from the loss of blood or if I’m just snapping from the stress. I laugh so hard I choke. “You want to be my man? Is this your way of asking me out, Mr. Wilkins?”
“You’re not as cute as you think you are, Jewel. You’re a dirty sinner. Who knows how many bastard biker dicks you’ve had inside you. You’re unclean. I would never sink to such a low.”
“Ok, well then can we wrap this up?” I ask, trying my best to bat my eyes and smile. Everything hurts. Every movement, every word, but I’m not afraid.
In fact, I feel clearer than I ever have before in my life. I know exactly what he wants from me, and I’m never going to give it to him. Not in a million years. Not on my life.
“You work for us now. You will take off where Barney left off.”
“Fuck you,” I say, spitting at him.
“You’ll change your mind.” He flips open his switchblade and holds it up to my chin.
“I’ll die before I betray my family,” I say. “Just fucking kill me. You’re not getting shit from me, Floyd. But just know, if you do kill me, they’re gonna find you. Your ass is going to be back in jail for the rest of your fucking life and all your little inbred racist incel boys are going to go down with you.”
His nostrils flare as he jams the knife into my chest, just hard enough to puncture my skin. Nothing hurts anymore. I’m so fired up, I don’t care what happens. I can’t feel anything but victory. If I die, I’ll be a martyr. If I live, I’ll spend every day of the rest of my life destroying these assholes, and making sure they can never come anywhere near the Royal Bastards again.
I might not have a lot in this world, but I will leave this place with my integrity in tact. Maybe that’s how my life was always supposed to go. Maybe I was put here to clean up the mess Barney made so that the people I love don’t have to suffer.
“We could’ve done this the easy way,” he says with a sneer. “You sure you don’t want to work for me? I’ll let you go right now.”
“Never,” I growl.
“Well that’s a shame.” He drags the tip of the knife up my chin, and I can feel my pulse racing in my neck. His breath is hot on my face and it stinks so bad. I make sure I stare him in the eye the entire time. I will never give him the satisfaction of thinking he overpowered me. “You could’ve saved so many lives, Jewel. So much bloodshed. Barney always said you were a stubborn cunt.”
He traces the knife around my ear in a circle and I struggle to stay as still as possible. My heart is pounding. I picture my friends, the club, the people I love, and I will myself to be brave.
“Now you’re nothing but bait. I’ll just keep hacking off whatever I have to and sending it to your boys until they give me what I want.”
The worst pain I’ve ever in my life sears through my skull for just one split second as he hacks off my ear, then everything goes white and silent.
Chapter Six
Brass:
I pull off my t-shirt and use it to wipe the sweat off my face. I grab my gallon jug of water and chug down as much as possible in one giant gulp. It’s halfway warm from sitting out in the sun, but it’ll do the trick for now.
“Man, what the fuck are you doing?” Bruiser shouts from across the yard. He lights up a cigar and sits down in a lawn chair, watching me with fascination. I love the old man, don’t get me wrong, but even though he’s only about 15 years my senior, it feels like there’s an entire generation between the two of us. He’s old school, spent his early twenties working in the steel mill before it shut down, and the idea o
f doing manual labor as a means to stay in shape absolutely baffles him.
For me, I gotta keep busy no matter what it takes. Mind and body. It’s the only way I can keep the demons from taking over.
I squat down and flip the massive tire on its side, push it over with a flop and repeat the process.
“Training,” I say with a grunt.
“For what? There ain’t no situation I can possibly imagine where your ass is gonna need to roll a tire around a field for an hour.”
“It’s been three hours,” Lazarus chimes in. He opens up the cooler and cracks open a can of Iron City beer. He sits down in a chair next to Bruiser and groans in agony. He tapped out from our workout session a long time ago.
It’s fine by me. I like having him around to keep me company while I work out, but personally, I still have a lot of work to do on my own. Demons to slay. It used to be so easy to get myself to a place where I could forget all my troubles. A little booze, a little blow, a warm body, a nice long ride on the bike, it was enough to numb the pain.
Now that the countdown to the day my dad gets out of prison is getting closer, it’s starting to take a whole lot more. If I don’t completely beat the brakes off myself every day, there’s not a chance in hell I’m functional on any level.
“Somebody needs to find this fellow a new slam piece,” Bruiser says.
“I don’t need your commentary, slap dick. I’m almost finished up anyway. We gotta meet Lean over at the build site soon. Got some new blueprints to go over.”
In a few short months, we’re all going to be part owners of Pittsburgh’s newest casino. I never saw anything so big for myself in my whole life, never thought I’d go from low level drug dealer in the city to head of security for a fucking casino that I own part of, but I know my mama would be proud.