by Jenny Kane
As Shaun’s mouth opened, Thea held up her hand. ‘And, before you jump in again, I wish I had told you straight away. The only reason I didn’t was because I did not want to hurt you if my hunch was wrong.’ She ran a hand through her hair. ‘Something I have well and truly cocked up.’
Shaun said nothing. He just stared at her for so long that eventually Thea was compelled to fill the silence.
‘I don’t trust Julian. What I overheard him say on the phone could have been him lying to someone. And, while we’re at it, if you think for a single second that I’d do a thing to hurt Ajay, Andy or any of the Landscape Treasures team, or you, then you can carry on walking without me!’
The sound of the birds chatting to each other in the trees around them suddenly seemed abnormally loud as Thea waited for Shaun to respond. She was cold despite the sunshine that furled through the gaps in the overhanging branches of the mix of oak, pine and ash that dotted the landscape they’d run into. Her sock covered feet were scratched and sore.
Finally, Shaun spoke. ‘You said you didn’t want to tell me about Julian potentially replacing me with you until you knew it to be a fact.’
‘Yes.’
‘That implies you were planning to spend time with him to do just that.’
‘What? No!’ Thea shook her head. ‘That isn’t what I meant at all. I wanted to talk to you about what to do and—’
‘But you didn’t, Thea. Did you?’
Thea watched as Shaun stalked deeper into the trees. This time she didn’t follow him.
Thirty-seven
Tuesday April 7th
Helen sat on the side of her bed and listened. Nothing stirred. It had been at least four hours since Tina and Sam had returned from having dinner with Bert and Mabel, and as she hadn’t seen Shaun or Thea since lunchtime, she assumed they’d retired to their bedroom on the floor below ages ago.
She couldn’t hear any movement from the room next door where, she assumed, Tom and Dylan were fast asleep.
Helen checked her watch. It was three minutes to midnight. Her bag had been packed for an hour, although there were still piles of notes on the chair by the window. If she didn’t pack them, perhaps she wasn’t really going to leave.
The hands of her watch ticked on another minute.
‘If I’m going, I need to go now.’
Helen’s mouth was dry and her eyes felt dull with tears long shed, which had dried in streaks across her face. She hadn’t bothered rubbing over where they made her skin feel tight.
It had been the picture that had been the final straw. The nudge she’d needed to stop avoiding what was becoming increasingly obvious. She hadn’t been reading the signs wrong, no matter how much she wished she hadn’t.
All the phone calls Tom had been taking. They can’t all have been work or wedding stuff. Tom must have claimed they were to save her feelings. He was merely trying to soften the blow before admitting Sue had worn him down and he’d agreed to go back to her for Dylan’s sake.
Helen closed her eyes. Dylan’s happy face appeared behind her eyelids.
They’d had so much fun wandering around the house and grounds all day; finding egg sized hidey-holes. Dylan had drawn a rough map with lots of little x’s on it. Declaring he’d created a treasure map, he’d been making pirate noises with hilarious results, when he’d suddenly got extra excited, run over to where his dad was typing into his laptop and borrowed his phone. Seconds later, Dylan was back, proudly showing Helen a photograph of a painting.
It was obviously Mill Grange. But it was the three figures that had twisted the knife in Helen’s gut as Dylan effused about how his painting had pride of place over the art room table.
Mum, dad and son.
Helen still wasn’t sure how she’d managed to make all the right noises, telling Dylan how clever he was, before guiding him back to his father with claims of an abrupt headache.
By the time she was in her room, the headache was real, so when Tom put his head around the door an hour later to see if she was alright, she didn’t have to lie about feeling a bit rough.
He’d sat next to her for a while, his palm soothing her forehead, his fingers teasing out her fringe. She’d wanted to ask him about the painting, but the words stuck in her throat. She hadn’t wanted to hear him tell her about the sacrifice he was going to make for his son.
The hands of her watch clicked on. One minute to midnight.
The sound of Sue’s voice talking to Tom nudged itself to the forefront of Helen’s mind as she stood up. I think we owe him some proper family time, don’t you?
She picked up the ring of keys that had sat in the windowsill of her attic room since she’d taken up the offer of staying at Mill Grange for a sabbatical. They undid the front door to her home in Bath.
She weighed them in her hands for a moment, before knocking the paperwork on the chair into a neat pile and sliding it into a waiting carrier bag. Then, ripping the last clean page from her notebook, Helen sat down and began to write.
Wednesday April 8th
The sound of a door closing woke Thea with a start.
‘Shaun?’
She looked around, expecting to see him lying in bed next to her, before remembering she wasn’t in their bed, and she hadn’t seen Shaun since he disappeared through the trees at the back of Mill Grange.
Clutching the blankets she’d borrowed from the laundry store to her chest, Thea sat up on the drawing room sofa. She thought she could hear the faint sound of a vehicle moving. Is that Shaun? Is he leaving?
Getting up, she ran on silent feet to the front door, wincing as the bruises she’d gathered from running through the woods without shoes made their presence felt. She was relieved to see the coat he’d been wearing hanging from its usual hook.
I must have imagined the sound of someone going out.
Heading back to the sofa, Thea sank back down. Although she’d managed some sleep, her whole being ached with tiredness and her mind spun with regrets and what ifs.
I should have told him straight away.
He should have accepted you were trying to spare his feelings.
I hurt him.
You were trying not to hurt him – but he wouldn’t listen.
He can’t honestly believe I fancy Julian!
In that second, she wondered why she was the one sleeping on the sofa, when Shaun had their cosy double bed to himself. Grabbing the moment of indignation like a shield, Thea threw down her blankets. Mumbling to herself as she took the stairs two at a time, Thea made a beeline for her bedroom. ‘I’m not losing this relationship because of Julian bloody Blackwood!’
*
Helen pulled into a layby just outside Upwich and let the tears erupt.
She didn’t doubt Tom’s feelings for her. Not for a minute. But there was no way she could ask him to choose between her and his son’s future happiness, so she’d decided to make it easier for him.
Blowing her nose into a handful of tissues, Helen pushed her shoulders back as she sat behind the wheel. ‘I have a job to go to, a home and a life in Bath. I was fine before I went to Mill Grange. I will be fine again.’
Not allowing herself to look back at the village sign, Helen restarted her Land Rover’s engine and pulled out onto the silent night.
*
Thea’s hand was on the bedroom door before her indignation shrank into anxiety. What if Shaun doesn’t want me in there with him?
Knowing the longer she left it, the worse she’d build the situation in her mind, Thea twisted the handle of the door and went in.
‘You couldn’t sleep either then.’ Shaun was sat up against the bed’s headboard.
‘No.’ Thea shut the door behind her, not sure if she should come towards the bed or not. ‘I’m sorry. I really was trying to do the right thing, but I messed up.’
Shaun patted the side of the bed. ‘I know.’
A tiny flicker of hope leapt up in Thea’s chest. ‘That I was trying to do the right thing or th
at I messed up?’
‘Both.’
Thea limped across the room. ‘Fair enough.’
Shaun flicked on the bedside lamp. ‘You’ve hurt yourself?’
‘I wasn’t wearing shoes when I ran after you.’
‘Idiot.’
‘Pretty much.’ Thea could see his expression was drawn. She wondered if he’d been crying. ‘Where did you go?’
‘I got as far as the Tarr Steps. Sat on the grass by the water and had a think.’
‘A good place for thinking.’ Thea threw her clothes off and grabbing an oversized t-shirt from the chair next to the bed, slipped into bed. ‘Can I ask what you thought?’
‘That I was wrong when I told you that I wouldn’t mind giving up presenting Landscape Treasures. Not that I knew that at the time, but back then I wasn’t facing it as a real prospect. It certainly hadn’t occurred to me that you’d be the one who’d replace me when the time came.’
Thea groaned. ‘But I wouldn’t. No way would I do that to you. You must know that?’
Shaun’s expression caught between a half smile and a grimace. ‘Yes. I know that. You don’t even want to be a presenter at all, do you?’
‘No. I like my life here.’ Thea could feel the heat of Shaun’s thigh against her. ‘I’m not saying I’d never guest present for Landscape Treasures again; but I wouldn’t for Julian. I wish Phil had never left.’
Shaun snorted. ‘Me too.’
As a hush feel between them, Thea asked, ‘Can I say something?’
‘Only if it isn’t about Julian. I can’t face more arguments on no sleep.’
A lump formed in Thea’s throat. So much for her brief hope that he’d forgiven her. ‘I just love you. That’s all.’
Shaun switched the light off again and snuggled under the covers. ‘I love you too.’ He rolled over, so he was facing away from Thea. ‘I’m just not sure I trust you, or know what to say to you right now.’
Thirty-eight
Wednesday April 8th
Tina sat at the kitchen table, two large pieces of paper laid out before her. One was a to-do list for the preparation of the house ready for Easter Sunday, in four days’ time. The other was covered in hastily scribbled names of everyone she and Sam intended to invite to the wedding.
Taking a sip from her coffee cup, Tina stared at both lists, not sure which to tackle first. Time seemed to be slipping through her fingers like grains of sand.
Her eyes flicked to the box of wedding invites sat to her left. Doodling a flower in the corner of the nearest piece of paper, Tina glanced at the kitchen clock. It was almost nine o’clock. Thea had promised she’d help her this morning, but so far, the only people she’d seen were Tom and Dylan, who’d already had their breakfast, and were weeding the walled garden with Sam. Helen, she suspected, had been up long before her, and was already hard at work on her book in the store room office.
Assuming Thea had overslept, Tina dipped a cookie in her mug and surveyed the kitchen. That was the room that would need the most work before Sunday. Everyone always wanted to see the kitchen, whether it was semi-modernised and in use or not.
‘Right. Mabel will be here in a minute to help clean up.’ Tina spoke bracingly to the paper in front of her. ‘Until then, I’ll write wedding invitations.’
Tina felt a surge of happiness as she read the words, “Miss Tina Martin and Mr Sam Philips invite you to their wedding at Mill Grange – two o’clock, May 23rd” which had been printed in gold script across the front of each perfectly square invite.
She’d addressed fifteen envelopes before the familiar pad of Mabel’s soft soled shoes walking along the corridor that joined the kitchen with the main door made Tina recheck the time. Half past nine and still no sign of Thea or Shaun. Guessing they were making the most of having a lie in, in a decent sized bed, Tina shuffled the sealed envelopes into a pile, and ticked off the names of the people invited so far from her list.
‘Morning, Mabel.’ Tina gestured to the kettle. ‘I was about to heat some water before cleaning the dresser, would you like a cuppa at the same time?’
‘No thanks, dear. Bert and I just had one.’ Mabel gestured to the invitations. ‘Good to see you’ve made a start.’
‘I wasn’t sure what to do first, to be honest. There’s so much to get done.’
‘It’ll all happen, don’t worry.’ Mabel hooked an apron out of her bag and tied it in place. ‘I hope you don’t mind, but I asked Diane if she’d like to help out.’
‘Not at all. She was brilliant when we were restoring Mill Grange before Sam bought the place. Thanks, Mabel.’
‘My pleasure. I knew you’d be okay with it.’ Mabel winked. ‘Diane will be here at ten.’
Tina laughed. ‘You’re priceless.’
‘So Bert tells me.’
‘How is he this morning?’
‘Getting better by the day.’ Squeezing some washing up liquid into a bowl in the sink, Mabel added some of the hot water from the kettle to the bowl and pulled on her rubber gloves. ‘Having the wedding to look forward to has galvanised him. Thanks for asking him to be involved. It means a lot to him. To us.’
‘As if we could do it without you!’ Tina grinned. ‘Tom tells me he has enlisted Bert to help with planning Helen’s birthday as well.’
Mabel smiled. ‘The old boy was chuffed about that. Certainly plenty to keep his mind occupied while he watches appalling day time television.’ Wrinkling her nose against the commonality of turning a television set on before the evening news, Mabel asked, ‘Where is Helen anyway, and Thea, come to that?’
‘I haven’t seen them. Helen’s probably working on the book. She wants to squeeze as many words out as she can before she leaves.’
Mabel sighed. ‘She is going then?’
‘She hasn’t said otherwise.’
‘But Sam did ask her to stay?’
‘He did.’ Tina shrugged. ‘But we can’t offer her anything like the wage the Baths can. And she has her own home in Bath.’
‘And Tom and Dylan?’
‘I haven’t liked to ask.’ Tina put the invitations in a drawer out of the way of the cleaning frenzy that was about to begin. ‘They seem happy together, but whenever I ask about Tom, she changes the subject.’
‘Ah well, early days for them yet.’ Mabel spoke sagely. ‘Time will tell.’
‘I expect you’re right.’ Tina pulled on a pair of yellow Marigolds. ‘I’m not sure where Thea is. I thought she might be having a lie in, but she promised she’d help from nine. It isn’t like her to be still in bed at ten, even if Shaun is with her.’
Footsteps in the corridor made the women look at each other.
‘That’s probably her now.’ Mabel plunged her arms into the washing up bowl just as Sam appeared.
‘Did I miss the kettle boiling?’
‘You did.’ Tina held her gloved hands up as if to show she was already in Mrs Mop mode. ‘We thought you were Thea. I don’t suppose you’ve seen her this morning?’
‘She’s in the main garden with Shaun. Looked like they were having a heart to heart.’
‘Really?’ Tina turned to face the gardens. ‘I wonder what that’s about?’
Mabel paused in her labours. ‘Must be something to do with Landscape Treasures. Thea wouldn’t be late without good reason.’
‘That’s true.’ Sam turned to Tina, hoping she’d understand that he wanted to talk to her out of earshot of the old lady. ‘I don’t suppose you could lose the rubber gloves for a second? I wanted to show you something in the walled garden.’
‘But I’ve only just—’
‘You carry on, lass.’ Mabel flapped her away. ‘I’ll get the table scrubbed down then I’ll put the kettle on for the workers.’
*
‘What is it?’ Tina asked as soon as they were outside of the kitchen.
‘Someone slept in the drawing room last night.’
‘Really? Are you sure?’ Tina’s eyebrows rose.
‘T
here are blankets in there, and a definite indent in the cushions.’ Sam led the way towards the offending sofa.
‘Shaun?’
‘It would explain the private conversation and why you haven’t seen Thea this morning.’
‘I hope they’re alright.’ Tina found herself wondering how the wedding would go if the best man and chief bridesmaid weren’t talking to each other. ‘They’re made for each other.’
‘They are,’ Sam agreed, ‘but right now I think all we can do to help is remove all evidence of this before anyone else sees it and then leave them in peace.’
*
The spring sunshine dazzled Thea’s face as she risked a glance at Shaun out of the corner of her eye. He was looking across the garden towards the fortlet. His body language was closed off and the gap between them on the bench was marked.
Thea tried not to feel bad about not helping Tina and Mabel in the kitchen; telling herself her friends would understand when she explained the reason for her delay. Feeling the shake in her fingers that always happened when she was stressed, Thea plunged her hands into her pockets as she broke the silence.
‘I was waiting until we got back to the Cotswolds to talk to you about Julian’s proposition. Stupid as it sounds now, I thought that, as we were having a holiday, work could wait.’ She peeped up at him through her fringe, but Shaun was still staring away from her. ‘The other archaeologists are on holiday too, so I assumed nothing would change while we had a nice time together. Here. With our friends.’
Shaun kept up his vigil across the landscape. ‘Do you honestly think that Julian hasn’t been working? That he hasn’t been trying to wheedle his way up the next rung of the career ladder while we’ve been here?’
‘But—’
‘Men like Julian don’t have holidays. They are too afraid to take one in case some other high flyer sneaks above them in the race to the top.’