by M. S. Parker
But I didn’t owe Diamond a damn thing. I knew her though. She’d either follow me until she got the answers she wanted, or she’d possibly hunt down Allie, and I wasn't about to put her in the middle of all this. It was my fault Diamond had Allie in her sights, and I would take care of it.
“She’s a friend of mine.”
“Oh?” Diamond’s eyes narrowed. “She’s quite lovely. What’s her name?”
“Allie Dodds. Her family's deaf, so I thought she’d be interested in the gala.” I was almost certain I didn't imagine the flash of something dark across Diamond's eyes, and I wondered if there were rumors going around that I didn't know.
“How long have you known her?”
“Is that really your concern?” Maybe I should have just answered, but Diamond was pissing me off. I had a pretty long fuse, but the look Diamond was giving me coupled with her infuriating tone was pushing every button I had. I didn't like my own mother prying into my business, much less my future mother in law.
Diamond took a step closer and the fury in her voice might have cut some men off at the knees, but most men hadn't grown up with someone like my mother. It took a hell of a lot more than a nasty expression to get me.
“Why exactly do you want to know?” I let my smile drop away so that my face was perfectly blank.
“Let's take a walk.” She stepped forward and held out her hand.
I eyed her narrowly, considered just walking away, but again, I knew if I didn’t answer her, she’d keep after me, or go after Allie. So I held out my arm, and she took it. We began to walk, easing away from all of the curious eyes and ears.
“You and Paisley seem to have finally connected,” she said as we walked around the edge of the dance floor. “The baby, you’re engaged…then you tell her that you need some space.”
She lapsed into silence, but I didn’t rush to fill it. I could feel her watching me, but I just continued to walk, nodding at the familiar faces, greeting one or two.
She continued, “It’s understandable. You are, after all, still young. You’re nervous. You were reckless, or you wouldn’t be in this boat, but I can understand why you’re still hesitant to commit, even if you two are perfect for each other.”
As she continued to talk, I wondered if she was going to get to the point or if she just wanted to drive me crazy by talking at me for the rest of the night.
Her tone shifted to something harder than usual. “But then I see the pictures in the papers. You dancing with that…girl. And I have to admit, I’m confused.”
We came to a stop, and I looked down at her. She stared at me, her expression cold. At least we were getting down to it. I suddenly wanted it all over with. Everything. This discussion. The engagement. All of the things that I knew were keeping Allie and me apart.
“Now, we’re at this event, and you’re dancing again with another girl, and you won’t discuss it. Worse, it’s only days after you’ve decided to put my daughter to the side.” Diamond's face was flushed. “When did you meet that girl?”
“I told Paisley I needed time,” I said, keeping my voice just as icy. “And since I've gone to several functions with female friends and it's never been an issue in the past, I don't see why it is now. I don't owe you an explanation.”
Diamond took a step back.
“So, you won’t answer me?” she demanded.
“How about you tell me why you're so interested in Allie?”
She drew her shoulders back, frigid and remote like some blue-blooded ice queen. The resemblance between Paisley and her mother was striking. “Well. If that's going to be your response, I suggest you ask that girl. She should have quite a story to tell.”
She walked away, and I passed a hand back through my hair. When I turned, I could see Paisley standing close by with a few of her friends. When she caught sight of Diamond, she said something to her friends, and then started toward her mother. No surprise there.
What did surprise me was the sight of Allie just a few feet away. Tao had his arm around her, holding her close. He was talking to her, and it was pretty clear she was upset.
And she was looking at me…and Diamond.
What the hell was going on here?
6
Allie
“Come on.” Tao caught my hand, tugging me away from the dance floor. “You don’t need to stand around here worrying about what the Diamond bitch is doing.”
I managed a weak smile. My stomach was in knots, and I was grateful I hadn't eaten much of anything tonight.
“Let’s go get a drink, honey.” Tao already had me halfway to the one of the numerous champagne fountains before I could respond.
“I don't want to get a drink,” I said. I couldn’t see Diamond anymore, but could only imagine what she had said to Jal. What had she told him? What was he thinking? “Maybe we should just go. You were right. Coming here was a bad idea. Capital B. Capital I.”
I shot a look over my shoulder but didn’t see Jal or Diamond. That only made it worse. I knew how Diamond was around her kind of people. She'd probably pulled Jal into some side room where she could give him my whole sordid past. By the time she finished, I had no doubt Jal would think I was just like my mother, and not in a flattering way.
The tension in my neck and shoulders was enough to leave my head pounding, and all I wanted was to find some place dark so I could crawl in and hide. Preferably for a week or two.
Tao was insistent. “You need a drink, and then you need to dance with me and quit worrying about her, about him.”
I looked up, met his eyes. Clear and steady, they rested on mine, and I wish I could have the calm assurance that always seemed like a part of him. “What if she told him who I am? What am I going to do then?”
“What if she has?” He took two flutes of champagne and pushed one into my hand before taking a sip of his own. “Come on, Allie. What could she tell him? That your mom fell for a rich older, married man and they had you? It’s not like that's your fault. Hell, for the first part of it, you weren’t even there. You came along after the fact. A bystander, not a participant.”
A bystander.
More like a by-product. Diamond had always acted like I was some sort of disease. And my sisters…hell. They didn’t even know about me. They'd always thought I was just the help's daughter. Barely a blip on the background radar.
“Drink up, honey,” Tao said. “We’re dancing and dining and debauching the rest night away. You got me all dressed up, so we’re going to make the best of it.”
He gave me a lascivious look, and if anything could have stirred me out of my grim mood, it would be him. It would have been him, too, if a familiar figure hadn't appeared in my peripheral vision.
“Oh, hell,” I muttered.
Tao glanced up.
I put my champagne down. “Let’s just go,” I said, giving him a pleading look. “I’m not…I can’t do this, not here. Not like this.”
“Too late,” Tao said softly as Jal drew nearer. Tao dipped his head and kissed my cheek as he slid his arm around my waist, offering me comfort and support. “If you really need to cut and run, we can.”
Cut and run–
Shit. I wanted to so badly. Except now, Jal stood in front of me, and there was no way out without it being obvious that I was running.
Jal glanced at Tao, then down to where my friend's hand rested on my hip. His jaw tightened as he raised his eyes to meet mine.
He held out his hand and asked, “Would you take a walk with me?”
“I…” Shooting Tao a quick look, I searched for an answer to that question. But Tao couldn’t tell me the right or the wrong thing to do here. It had to be my choice. And I just didn’t know.
One thing I did know…if Diamond hadn’t told him anything, or even if she had, I didn’t want her version of events to be the only thing that Jal knew. Even if we could never be together, I didn't want him to think badly of my family.
Slowly, I moved away from Tao. Glancing back at h
im, I managed a weak smile. “I won’t be too long.”
He nodded. “I’ll see if they can get the car brought around if you want to meet me near the door when you're done.”
“Great.”
I followed Jal in silence as we made our way up the staircase to the mezzanine level where we could look down over the ballroom itself. Others were up there as well, but it was quieter, dimmer, with the illusion of privacy. Only when he'd led me to a private alcove did he finally speak.
“I was speaking with Paisley’s mother a few minutes ago.” He glanced down at me but then quickly looked away. “Paisley is my fiancée. A few days ago, I told her I needed some time to think. Neither she nor her mother are very happy with me.”
My heart started to thud. Maybe Diamond hadn’t remembered me. Maybe she'd looked pissed because of Jal and Paisley. While part of that was my fault, it didn't mean she'd been talking to him about me.
“Do you know her?”
Shit.
I took a step back and stumbled.
“What?”
Using the excuse of my clumsiness, I eased away from him, and steadied myself against the long, marble balustrade, lifting one knee and rubbing at my ankle. It didn’t even twinge, but if I could use it as a reason to move further away from him, to give myself a moment to process what was happening, I’d go for it. I glanced up at him while I did it, and his eyes were no longer on my face. He was staring at my legs.
An electric thrill went through me.
“Did you…” His voice was rougher now. “Is your ankle okay?”
“It’s fine.” The small twinge of guilt I felt was nothing compared to the misery I knew was coming. Rotating my ankle one way then the other, I put my foot down and took a step. It did ache a bit more than I liked, so with a scowl, I slid my heels off and picked them up.
The music from below had changed again, settling into a low, sexy jazz tune that pulsed and throbbed, inviting, coaxing.
“Do you know Diamond Hedges?”
I took a step over to the railing and stared down at the dance floor. I couldn’t see Paisley or Diamond from here, but it didn’t matter. I could practically hear them talking, hear what Diamond was saying about me.
“Did you ask her?”
“She told me to ask you,” he said, his voice sharp.
Slowly, I turned and met his eyes. “Did she now?”
His eyes were hard, angry even, and there was a thread of distrust in his voice that I’d never heard from him before. It made my gut twist, and I suddenly wished that Tao was here with me. I'd always considered myself a strong person, but at the moment, I could've used some support.
“I’d appreciate it if you'd just be straight with me, dammit. I’m supposed to be downstairs mingling, not trying to figure out what the hell is going on with you.” He moved in closer, and if I hadn’t backed up a step, he would have put his hands on me.
And I would have let him.
Crazy things happened when he put his hands on me, and with all that negative emotion flickering in his eyes, there was no telling what would happen this time. I suspected I probably would end up hating myself even more.
“She thinks you’re the reason why I told Paisley I needed time. She's pretty convinced, and that makes me wonder why? Is this a common thing for you?” Jal shoved a hand through his hair.
“Just what are you implying?” I asked, something sick settling in my stomach.
“I want to know how the hell you two know each other. Why she thinks there's something up with you.” He scowled. “I had things arranged in my head up until you barged into my life, and now I’m second-guessing everything. You act like you want to break things off, and then the second I look your way, you come running back to fuck with my head again. It’s one hell of a play, Allie. I'll give you that.”
“You son of a bitch,” I hissed as I realized what he was saying. Taking a step toward him, I jabbed him in the chest with my index finger. I wanted to hit him, and with every passing second, it became harder not to do so. “You think I set this up? That I somehow forced you to pick FOCUS for a haircut that day? That I tricked you into leaving your engagement ring at the salon so you'd invite me to New York to give it back? That I asked you to invite me here tonight? I sure as hell didn’t ask you to tell your spoiled little fiancée you needed time! If you’re regretting telling her that, by all means, go. Run off to Atlantic City and get married right now, you stupid asshole! I'm sure the two of you are well suited to each other, you spoiled little prick!”
I was almost shouting, tears burning against my eyelids.
“You don’t know a thing about her,” Jal said, his voice scathing.
“Like hell I don’t,” I snapped back. I usually prided myself on my ability to contain my temper, but my control had snapped. “I know her better than you ever will. She’s manipulative, controlling, and cares about nobody but herself.” I paused a beat. “Am I wrong?”
A muscle tensed in his jaw. “So far, manipulative can apply to quite a few women I know.”
I jerked back, feeling like he’d slapped me.
“You’re one to talk about manipulation.” I was almost shaking now, every word torn out of me. “You went and left that damn ring, and then you tell my boss you’ll blackball his place if you don’t get the ring back. Of course you left it behind on purpose so I'd have to come to you, and you have the nerve call me manipulative. You son of a bitch!”
He opened his mouth to say something, and I shoved him.
“And even worse? You did all of that while you were engaged.” I took a step closer to him. “You invite me to a fundraiser for special needs in schools. Then a fundraiser for the deaf.” I shook my head. “It’s like you’re keyed in on how to work people, you know that? You knew exactly what to do to get me to attend. Not once – but twice. And you call me manipulative?”
He reached out, grabbing my arms hard enough to make me gasp.
“How do you know Diamond? How do you know Paisley?”
I should have known better. I had known better. He was just another rich bastard who didn't give a damn about anyone but himself. He made demands, not requests. He thought the world owed him everything and that he could take what he wanted from whoever he wanted.
I yanked myself away from him. “You want to know?”
“Isn’t that what I’ve been saying?”
“Fine. I’ll tell you, but once I do, I want you to stay the hell out of my life. Stay away from me. You hear me?” Without giving him a chance to respond, I continued, “Twenty-two years ago, my mother worked for Kendrick Hedges. They had an affair. I was the result.” Lifting my chin, I met his gaze. “Paisley’s my half-sister.”
His eyes widened, and I could hear the shocked, audible intake of air.
“There. Are you happy now, Jal? You know it all. But then again, you already know everything about who I am, right?”
Flinging those words out, I turned on my heel and ran for the stairs, thankful I'd taken off my shoes. I was more than halfway down when I heard him shout my name, but I ignored him and kept on running.
As soon as I reached the entrance, I saw Tao there, waiting with my wrap.
“Let’s go,” I said, my voice thick.
He caught sight of my face and nodded, his expression a mixture of concern and anger. We didn't do the jealousy thing, but we sure as hell were protective of each other.
“Allie!”
I flinched at the sound of Jal's voice, and I fought back the tears threatening to choke me. I felt Jal as much as I heard him grow closer, and then Tao was between us, shielding me.
“That’s enough,” Tao said, his voice flat. “I think you’ve done enough damage, don’t you, lover boy? Go find your fiancée, okay?”
Jal snarled something I couldn't understand. Then there was another voice, one I wanted to hear even less than Jal's.
Diamond.
“Tao, get me the hell out of here,” I said, almost desperate now.
Within two minutes, he had me in the car. In another ten, we were parked in a parking lot somewhere. I had no idea where, and I didn't care. I was just glad to be away from those people.
“Come here, you.” He hooked an arm around my neck and tugged me as close as he could in the snug little car. “I guess that didn’t go very well.”
I buried my face against his shoulder. “Next time…” I caught my breath and forced myself to breathe out slow and steady. “Next time...please don’t let me be so stupid.”
He knew I wasn't really talking about going to a party.
“This is life.” He rubbed his cheek against my hair. “Sometimes, being stupid is part of it.”
I sniffled, fought the sobs burning the back of my throat. Why? I wanted to scream it, shout it, cry it. But I didn’t let myself because I wasn’t exactly sure what I wanted answers for or who I wanted them from. All I knew was that everything in me was begging for some sort of peace.
“Allie?”
“What?”
“Go ahead and cry, honey. You’ll feel better.”
So I did.
I let my best friend, my sometimes-lover, the only person who knew all of me, hold me while I cried. Cried over Jal, over what I knew I could never have. And I cried over the child I'd been, the one who'd always known that there were some things I would never be able to reach.
7
Jal
As Tao escorted Allie outside, her words kept echoing in my head. Sister. She’s my sister.
What in the hell did she mean by that?
I wasn't stupid. I understood what she was saying on an intellectual level, but it was everything else that I was having a hard time comprehending. Like how in the world I could've known the Hedges my entire life and not known about Allie.