by Scott, S. L.
Settling between my legs, he stands before me and holds my arms. “They’re assholes. Regardless if the attention shifted, they hurt you. If I could fix it, I would. I’m sorry you had to go through that. I take it your father sided with the article.”
“And put me on a plane to England for university. You can’t throw a stone without hitting a royal over there. Then later to Texas. I was told to blend in, keep my head down, and study.” I sighed. “I did. Until I came home. Some wild ways can’t be tamed. The name came back as soon as I landed on Brudenbourg soil. Why fight fate?”
“Because that wasn’t your fate. That was bullshit made up about you. Only you determine your destiny.” If only that were true. My country determines my destiny. It always has. And for some reason, I’ve believed I wasn’t really to blame for having to leave, that it was the stupid laws at fault.
He takes a step back when I stand. “I’ve been lying to myself.”
“About?”
“I tried to pretend I wasn’t exiled, but you’re right. I was. Even if it was for a short time in the scheme of my life, I was forbidden from returning. I should start using the correct terminology. It’s going to be the only way I will heal from that betrayal.” I stretch my neck to the side, noticing some of the normal tension is gone. “Acknowledging the truth is kind of freeing. I already feel lighter.”
“Share those truths and free your whole being.”
“I have one for you.”
I like his smile—kind, trustworthy, friendly. “Hit me with it.”
“I’m not a whore.” I shrug for an entirely different reason this time. “I may act like one when I’m in bed with you, but that doesn’t define who I am to the world.”
“No, it doesn’t.” With his head tilted down, he chuckles to himself while rubbing the tip of his tongue over his bottom lip. Peeking up, he says, “I have a secret.”
My body stills, having no clue what he’s going to say. “What is it?”
“I looked up the chastity law.”
“Oh. Okay. This is not where I thought this conversation was going.”
“Did you know we’ve broken not only the chastity law about a hundred times over?” Seriousness belies his expression, then he starts laughing. “But we’ve violated at least eight other of your laws.”
I burst out laughing. “Oh my God,” I say with a smile so big on my face that my cheeks hurt. So much so that tears form in my eyes. I try to catch my breath, but my laughter causes me to bend over. “And here I was only worried about the one.” Finally catching my breath, I say, “I needed that.”
“Yeah, you did.” He comes over and hugs me again. “Let me know what I can do for you, or how I can help, and I will. Anything.”
My head is kissed. “Same goes for you.” I lift up to kiss this awesome mountain of a man on the chin. “I love you.”
“I love you.”
“I think I’m going to take a bath. Want to join me?”
“You. Naked. Water. Me. Hell yes, I want to join you.”
Moving into the bathroom, he starts the water to fill the tub. We’re okay in the silence because we’re good. Team us. I pour bubble bath in and slip my hand under the water as I sit on the edge of the tub.
When it’s more than half full, Hutton takes my hand, helping me to balance so I don’t slip while I get in. The heat of the water feels so good to my sore muscles from traveling.
Hutton strips down again and steps in, settling opposite from me, our legs tangling. He asks, “I might be the reason you’re not the queen?”
“You’re not. It will be all on me. I knowingly broke the law with you.”
“When you say that, you make it sound like you were a virgin when we slept together.” He laughs, but when I don’t, he stops and stares. Understanding sinks into his melty chocolate eyes. Water splashes over the edge when he bolts upright. “Why aren’t you laughing?” The question is asked with a serious edge.
I bite my lip, knowing I have to be honest and expose the truth just as we’ve been doing since we arrived. I should have been honest from the beginning, but it felt so good to be someone else when we first met. We were drawn together as if destiny played a hand in bringing us together that night. The right place at the right time. The short version of us meeting in a bar will never capture the magic of how our great love story started.
Gliding through the water, I sit on his lap and bend to kiss his neck. He grows between my legs. His hardness feels slick beneath the layer of bubble bath and I move enough to let him know what I want. “You taught me everything I know.”
His shoulders are tense, so I massage the muscles while I rub other parts of his body with mine. I close my eyes as the sharp points of his five o’clock shadow scrape against my cheek. The pleasure of this pain takes my mind off anything except him. My hips are stopped, held in place, and he says, “Look at me, Ally.”
“I am.” My gaze goes from his eyes to his mouth, then to his chest and his forehead until my jaw is captured and angled, so I look into his eyes.
“Were you a virgin?”
“Everyone’s a virgin before having sex.”
“I’m serious.”
“What’s the big deal anyway?”
When he lowers his eyes to the water, I see the conflict written in his forehead. His hands dip under the water and seem to find my ass on their own accord, holding me still on his lap. After a heavy sigh, he says, “The big deal is that we did things I don’t normally do. With you, sex isn’t sex. It’s an experience—mindful and deeply connective on another level from physical. You push me for more, and because I want to please you, I do whatever you need. But then I become selfish. I didn’t treat you right that first night, for your first time. Had I known, I would have done things differently.”
“You did everything right. That’s why I loved it so much.” He’s about to speak, but I place a finger on his lips. “Please understand what I mean. I’ve always been treated like a princess. It’s amazing in so many ways, but other than my family, I’ve never felt a strong connection to anyone. I used to sneak read romances and learned about love from books. I wanted that so badly that I tried to find it in the wrong places and in the wrong ways with the wrong guys.”
“That’s a lot of wrongs.”
“Truer words never were spoken. But then I met you. Do you believe in soul mates?”
His hands cover my lower back and slide down over my skin. Slipping me back in place, he causes my breath to stumble from the sexual connection. Focusing becomes harder. “I believe in you and me. As for destiny, I don’t think I believed before, but now I do.”
Our lips come together as our bodies slide even farther under the water. Then he leans his head back on the side of the tub, and asks, “Why’d you choose me?”
“Because you treated me like me and not who everyone else sees. You had a look in your eye like we were always meant to be. Cinderella and Prince Charming.”
A slow roguish grin works its way across his face. “I treated you like Ally.”
“You did.”
“I only want what’s best for you. You. Not your country. Not your parents. You. I want you to be happy. As much as I love having you here, I know you might not stay. I think you assumed this was only for a few days. My truth is that I’m worried I’m going to lose you.”
“I’ll fight for you.”
“They’re never going to let you be with me and still be the queen.”
Skimming water onto his body, I’m not sure what to say. “I only know how I feel. I love you, Hutton. I’ll never marry someone out of obligation. I’d rather reign alone than be stuck in a loveless marriage.”
“Can a queen really date?”
“It worked for Queen Elizabeth I.”
“Did it, though? She died alone.” Although it seems to pain him, he says, “You’re welcome to stay here as long as you want. But while you’re here, I want you to think about what you really want and how you see your life going, becau
se it might not be with me.”
“I—”
This time, he presses a finger to my lips. “Think about it. When you’re alone, when you’re rested, when you’re feeling ready. We don’t have clear heads right now.”
I kiss his finger and suck in the tip. His breathing picks up, and I’m held tighter around the hips. I gyrate on top of him, but I know I won’t be able to wait. Like our relationship, I don’t need slow or to warm up to this man. I want all of him—fast, hard, and like a whirlwind.
Our bodies connect as he slides inside me. I drag my nails down his chest, not to break the skin, but to see him burn the way I do deep within. The room magically goes dark, the city lights providing all the light we need to see each other. As I move on top of him, I say, “I know why you said when I’m alone.”
That smile that wins me over every time it appears, and he says, “Oh yeah?”
“Because when we’re together, I don’t think clearly at all.” I let my head fall back. “God, you feel so good. Will this ever get old?”
“No.”
I look up, surprised, but not really by the simplistic answer, because he’s right. His hand sneaks around and touches me, making my thoughts blur and my body weak to his attention. Lifting up, I push back down and repeat. Again and again until my body clenches and tremors course from my center.
My shoulders are held, my body pressed down as I embrace his release and it becomes mine again, tearing through the darkness I found behind my eyelids and shining his light inside me.
This is right.
Hutton is right.
But how do we play into my role as queen?
In the middle of the night, both sated and Hutton asleep, I slip out and grab a shirt on my way to the living room. I open the blinds but leave off the lights. After making a cup of tea, I stop to smell the roses. Holding the bouquet, I bury my nose in the soft petals of the pink flowers.
I spend a few minutes searching the cabinets for a vase but don’t find any. That Hutton doesn’t own one makes me smile. I get creative, and when I’m done, I’m the one smiling.
Taking my tea, I move to the windows, raising one panel so I can see out. With this new world at my feet and being alone for the first time in longer than I can remember, I allow myself to think about who I really want to be.
26
Ally
The duke scrambles up the stairs after me. “You will not ruin this for me, Belle.”
I run, but I’m unstable on the cobbled terrace. I reach the door and am about to scream for help, but my mouth is covered, and I’m dragged backward.
One hit to his head knocks him sideways, but he takes me with him. Catching his balance, he hides us from sight behind a large column. “I know what you’ve done.” His breath, which is as rancid as his heart, burns my nostrils. “I know how you let him fuck you, soiling your body as well as your reputation.”
The fight leaves me in a harsh breath, and my feet come to a stop.
“That got your attention,” he says, releasing me.
“I don’t know what you’re talking about.”
He laughs. “If you didn’t, you wouldn’t still be here.” He leans against the column and rubs his ear where I whacked him. “I still made the offer knowing my future Queen, the one I was promised when I was ten years old, laid with another man.”
My hands are shaking, my heart thundering in my chest. Oh shit. Surely he can’t know.
This man has been a part of my life since before I remember. I may not have known I was promised to him, but some part of me I refused to acknowledge knew he was in the running. When I thought he was being a friend to me, I was only a means to an end.
Look pretty. Be quiet.
My mother’s words haunt me, but I obey, fighting against my will to resist. Don’t give him anything. He paces just far enough to remain unseen from anyone inside and back again. “The day you were born, my parents made the appropriate arrangements and then told me to see you as my one and only. I did that. I waited for the day you would be—”
“For sale?” Sometimes, my snarkier side wins.
Disgust fills in the unremarkable features of his face. A lack of emotion when he looks at me causes me to shrink, my back hitting the stone column. “You joke—”
“No, I don’t. I know you don’t love me. I actually think you loathe me, but you’ve stuck around because you want the pot of gold you were promised. At ten, you didn’t realize that the gold came with the price of my life, but it does.”
“You know the laws. You know how things work, but you chose to defy our traditions, to deny your husband his earned dues.”
“I’m not your wife, and I never will be, but you haven’t earned my respect, much less any other part of me.” I walk to the door. I don’t run or hurry. He can blackmail me or not. Nothing I say will change his mind at this point, so I’ll walk away, hoping for the best and expecting the worst.
What could he possibly believe he’d achieve by outing my impurity? All I can hope is that he’ll not disrespect my family, as that would be unforgivable.
“Princess!”
I stop and look back. “Whatever you think you know, you don’t understand anything behind it. You can ruin me, Duke, if that’s what you want to do. But I only ask that you consider my family before you do.”
“What are you doing?”
Hutton’s voice cloaks me like warm sunshine even though it’s well past three in the morning. His body is silhouetted by the light coming in behind him from the bedroom. Seeing him in the reflection of the glass highlights his intimidating size as he prowls toward me, but I’ve never felt safer. My protector. My lover. My heart squeezes because he’s so much more already.
I try to keep my eyes on the million little lights outside, but he makes it hard to look away. “Thinking,” I reply.
“About?” When his arms wrap around me, I lean my head back on his shoulder, loving the feel of his arms under mine.
“My life.”
The spot behind my ear is kissed and then my neck, which makes all those pesky goose bumps return, covering wherever he touches. “That’s a heavy topic, considering the hour.”
“You were right. I need to figure out what I truly want before I can ask anything of anyone else.”
The tip of his tongue tickles the shell of my ear. “Would anyone else happen to be me?”
Our eyes meet in the reflection. I can’t read his thoughts, but I can feel how he tightens his hold around me. Angling just enough to reach his neck, I kiss him. “I never had more than the throne to consider before.”
“I threw a wrench in your plans?”
“That’s a weird phrase,” I say with a soft laugh, which evokes one from him.
“It is.”
“You did.”
My hair is moved over my left shoulder, and then the right side of my neck is kissed. “I won’t apologize.”
“I don’t regret anything when it comes to us.”
“What regrets do you have?”
“No regrets. Just disappointed in myself. I don’t know if I will ever be what my parents want me to be.”
“Your parents should want you happy. Are you happy, Ally?”
Such a simple question. It should have a simpler answer. “I’m happy I met you.”
He seems to accept that answer, understanding the layers that corrupt the other aspects of my life. “Can I coax you back to bed?”
Spinning in his arms, I wrap mine around his neck, finally getting the first glimpse of those sleepy eyes that look at me as if I can do no wrong. “You can coax me anytime you want.”
“Come to bed.” He bends, and I’m lifted into his arms. I’m not sure if we’ll sleep or make love, but it doesn’t really matter. He is my calm in this storm.
I lean on his shoulder, holding him around the neck as he carries me into the bedroom. Setting me down on what has already become my side of the bed, he tucks me in and then climbs in on the other side. He moves all
the way across this huge bed to be near me. It makes me wonder why he bought it if not to take up all the space.
His large frame could justify it. “You’re built like a Viking.”
“I’m built like a Texan, princess.”
I kind of hate that I love hearing him call me that with that note of sarcasm. “You and that Texas pride.”
“It’s ingrained at conception.”
“Ew.”
“Not ew. Do you want to have kids?”
“I’m taking it the talk of conception is the connection?” He smiles in the dark. “Not right now, if that’s what you’re asking, but yes, I want children. I would love to have a boy and a girl.”
“We don’t get to choose. What if you only have boys?”
“No chance. Bruden’s generally breed girls. That’s why they outnumber boys.”
“You’ve forgotten one very important detail.”
“What’s that?”
I’m pulled by my hips right in his arms. He kisses my cheek, and then whispers, “I’m not Bruden, and Everests breed males.”
“All male indeed,” I whisper, looking into his eyes. One kiss leads to endless kisses and getting lost in his starry eyes until my body is exhausted and my mind too content to worry about anything.
* * *
Jeans.
Chemises.
Silky, sleeveless tops.
Cardigans.
Tons of underwear from thongs to full coverage.
Five bras.
Yoga pants.
T-shirts
Shoes of all kinds from flats to a pair of super cute wedges to flip-flops and sneakers.
“How did you know my sizes?” I ask in complete astonishment.
He shrugs. “I didn’t. Singer ordered everything.”
“And Singer is your brother’s . . .”
“Wife.”
“Ah.
“I don’t have to go shopping at all. She did an amazing job. It’s like Christmas in here.” I pull on a pair of jeans that fit me perfectly and a white-buttoned top with a pouf at the shoulders. I slip on mustard-yellow shoes that make me smile, reminding me of our sandwiches. “She didn’t miss anything. How does my hair look?” The hair straightener and little bag of makeup she sent this morning with the muffins and orange juice are seriously impressive.