“You’re lying.” Bruin swirls around the two of us, and Trent’s gaze narrows.
“Am I? Okay, then, let’s see how it plays out. Do I seem worried to you?”
He glares at me while gauging what I said.
I guess I’m a convincing liar because a second later his knuckles bury into my stomach with a solid punch. Shit, these guys are strong.
My vision fritzes and my breath rushes from my lungs.
I lose track of time and place for a moment, and by the time I blink past my watery vision, he’s gone. Bowed at the waist and breathless, I stagger down the hall to the loo.
It takes me a few minutes to pull myself together, and when I head back out, I’m a little lost as to what to do about the assault. Garnet gave us a pass. Or did he? Maybe he’s not as upfront as I took him for.
After apologizing to the two people I practically bowled over in my sucker-punched stupor, I head back to our booth.
Emmet stands when I arrive, and I slide back into my spot in the corner. ”You okay, Fi?”
“Sure. A bit dizzy. I figure Sloan’s right. It’s better to eat when the food’s hot. Besides, I don’t want to miss any of the latest Cumhaill gossip. Calum, tell us, how are things with Kevin? Is your new Robin Hood status still driving the forgiveness train steadily down the tracks?”
As my brothers devolve into lewd comments about Calum making his man merry, I focus on my burger.
Maybe coming here was a mistake. Maybe Liam’s right, and we’re not ‘normal’ people anymore. Am I putting people at risk? The idea that who and what I am endangers Auntie Shannon, Liam, or the clientele here is more than upsetting.
It robs me of one of my fundamental truths.
That Shenanigans will always be home to me.
Chapter Twenty-Two
Getting ready for bed two hours later, I unbutton my shirt and open the two sides to expose my ribs. My full-length mirror gives me a shocking look at the damage. “Oh, that’s grisly.” I test the bruising that runs from my hip to the underside of my boob and wince.
A sucker punch from a werewolf is like getting hit by a wrecking ball in full swing. “Asshole.”
I let the shirt drop off my shoulders and twist my arm back to unhook my bra. The piercing pain that rips up my side brings tears to my eyes. “Screw that. If it hurts this much to take off tonight, odds are it’ll hurt more tomorrow trying to get it back on.”
I abandon the idea and grab Brenny’s t-shirt off my pillow. It’s awkward getting it over my head without raising my left arm, and freeing my hair from the collar doesn’t go much smoother.
“Okay, I’m officially pissed.”
I open the drawer to my bedside table, take out a bottle of Tylenol, and go for a twofer. When those are down, I exchange my water bottle for Beauty. Maybe there’s an easy healing spell in her pages that will let me get some sleep.
I consider asking Sloan for help.
After all, he’s the son of the Order’s healer and has a strong affinity for it himself. I have no doubt he could patch me up, but I can’t face him right now.
Trent’s violence may have stolen my breath, but what knocked the wind out of me is the thought of bringing thugs like him into contact with people I care about.
Liam’s right. I’m not the same person I was four months ago, and I’m not ‘normal’ like them anymore.
Does that mean me loving them puts them in danger?
A knock on my door brings Da’s voice in the hall. “Are ye decent?”
“One sec.” I bite my lip and climb into bed, holding my breath. I settle against my headboard as quickly as I can and try to breathe through the pain. “Coast is clear.”
Da comes in, closes the door, and strides to the end of my bed. He studies me, folds his arms over his chest, and frowns. “Do you want to tell me what happened at the pub tonight, or do I have to go back and check the tapes?”
I chuckle. “Auntie Shannon doesn’t let just any looker with a badge access her security footage.”
His crooked smile is a relief. If he knew what happened, there would be no humor in him at all.
“What makes you think you’ll find something?”
“Because I know my baby girl. Yer mood did a one-eighty after yer trip onto the dance floor. I’d like to know who blew out your candles.”
I pull my quilt up, but it makes a flimsy shield against everything that hurts tonight.
Da sits beside me and tucks my blankets tight against my hips and legs like he used to do when I was little and scared. “Talk to me, mo chroi. It doesn’t matter if yer twenty-three or sixty-three, ye’ll always be my baby girl. As yer Da, I need to know yer all right.”
“I’m all right.” I meet his worried gaze and squeeze his hand. “One of Garnet’s men caught me off-guard on the dance floor tonight. A wolf asshole.”
Da tenses and his gaze clouds with a threat of violence I’ve seen enough times to know no good can come of riling him up and letting him loose. “Caught you off-guard how?”
I shrug and regret the movement immediately. Thankfully, Da doesn’t seem to notice. “He wasn’t happy that Garnet gave me a pass and wanted to put me on notice.”
“And? What’s the rest?”
“What makes you think there’s more?”
“A threat from a mouthy asshole would raise yer ire and have ye swingin’ mad and full of piss and vinegar. That’s not what happened. He broke somethin’ in ye. I want to know what, so I can fix it.”
I stare at Da’s hand in mine and smile. He’s right. Whether I’m twenty-three or sixty-three, Da will always be my safe place. “He knew I wouldn’t fight back or cause a scene because I wouldn’t put Auntie Shannon or the regular crowd at risk. It got me thinking.”
“Thinking what?”
I tell him about my fight with Liam and what he said about me acting like a god and endangering the ‘normal’ people. “It really hurt, Da. He drew a line between us like I don’t belong anymore. I dismissed it as him being stupid, and how guys say the worst possible thing in a moment of anxiety but then, on the dancefloor, it hit me. Trent was there because of me. He was angry because of me. And if people got hurt, it would be because of me.”
“Ye can’t take on the responsibility for assholes who come at you determined to cause collateral damage, Fi.”
“Maybe not, but it made me think that maybe I had no right to be there anymore.”
He sighs and tilts his neck from side to side. The hollow pop-pop-pop of his vertebrae makes me wince. “That’s a tough call, mo chroi. On the one hand, Shenanigans is an extension of our home and our family. Ye belong there as much or more than anyone else. On the other, who you are now—who we are now—draws attention from bigger and badder people.”
“It made me sad, you know? To think that Shenanigans might be better without me.”
“And that’s a very sad thought, indeed.” He cups my cheek and kisses my forehead.
The pain from leaning forward is excruciating, but I do my best not to let on. “I want peace with the Lakeshore Guild and won’t let one hot-headed, hairy dickwad ruin any chance of that happening.”
He sits back and nods. “The arc of the moral universe is long, but it bends toward justice.”
I run my fingers absentmindedly over the soft blue suede of Beauty’s cover and think about the Martin Luther King Jr. quote. It’s one of Da’s favorites, and we’ve discussed it individually and as a family more than once.
He’s telling me that change takes time, but it happens.
Each of us, fighting for social change, is part of the larger picture, a cog in the wheel of making the world better for all. “Nothing great was ever achieved without sacrifice, I suppose.”
Da squeezes my hand and gets up. “Heavy is the head that wears the crown.”
When Da turns out my light and closes the door, I slide down and stare at the ceiling. I don’t like feeling like I don’t belong in my life. It’s lonely.
I’m lonely
. Bruin went after Trent at the pub and hasn’t come back. I miss his presence.
Even in a house filled with family, I feel separate.
I lay there another long while before I give up on sleep. My mind is spinning with too many thoughts to rest. After closing my eyes, I send my consciousness into the trunk of my body. Like Myra’s home tree, there is a hollow where those of us with magic hold and nurture our gifts.
Patty said it doesn’t matter whether it’s a magical fae spark like the druids possess, or an essence brought out by worship for the Wiccans or root power like the Tuatha De Danann. Fae energy is stored and protected somewhere within.
My happy place is even more special because I hold my brother Brendan’s heritage spark. He may have been shot and killed being a hero, but he’ll never be gone as long as his energy lives inside me.
I open my eyes and slide out of the booth I was in earlier at Shenanigans.
My big brother Brendan is behind the bar. He smiles at me when I get closer, and I climb onto one of the barstools. “Hey, baby girl. Why the long face?”
I look at his bright green eyes and smile. Even the sound of his voice starts the process of refilling me with joy. “Just hit a rocky patch. Do you mind if I hang with you for a bit? I could use the company.”
Brendan winks and closes his hand over mine. “Whatever you need, sista. If you need me to hold the world back for you for a while, consider it done. I’ve got you.”
I nod and squeeze his hand. “Love you too.”
I roll over the next morning and gasp. My freaking ribs are killing me, and it’s way past time for more painkillers. Calum is sitting on the chair by the window and frowning at me. What’s with men sitting there watching me sleep?
“What’s with the flinch and the gasp?”
“You scared me, bro.” I lie and lock down my expression as I shift to sit up. “Howeyah?”
“Fast cars and orgasms. Can’t complain.”
Maybe he believes that I gasped because he scared me. Maybe not. Either way, he doesn’t seem intent on pursuing it. He’s in uniform and sipping coffee out of a Tim’s cup, his feet propped up on the end of the bed.
On the little table beside him sits a drink tray with a medium tea and a bag with the Tim Horton’s logo on it. I opt for a change of subject. “What’s that? Did I place an order I don’t remember?
“You were crying in your sleep last night, Fi. You haven’t done that since we were kids. I was worried and went to Da. He told me about what happened with Liam, and with Garnet’s man at the pub. I thought some pampering might brighten your morning.”
“It definitely does.” With deliberate care, I reach to claim the bag. “Mmm, warm apple fritters.” I pull apart the fresh sugary delight and pop a chunk into my mouth. “This is very thoughtful. Thank you.”
He frees the cup from the tray and sets it on my nightstand. “Anything for you. Anytime. You know that.”
“Love you, too.” I pull off another chunk of fritter and give him a reassuring smile. “Today will be better.”
“Yeah? You sound sure.”
“I am. I spent time in my happy place last night with Brenny. That always soothes my soul.”
At the mention of Brendan, Calum’s smile tightens. Brenny was our laughter—our no-hassle, good-time guy. We all miss him. We always will.
“I’d like to do a ride-along with you sometime and see him. You said you took Sloan there with you once, right?”
“I did. And yeah, anytime. You know it’s not really him though, right? It’s his spark and my interpretation and memories of him.”
Calum nods. “I’m aware. At first, I didn’t think I’d like it, but now, I think I would. I miss him something awful.”
“Me too. It helps me to spend time with him. He helps me sort things out.”
“And did the two of you come up with any epiphanies?”
“A few. More like new truths I needed to face.”
“Anything you care to share?”
I claim my cup and pull back the tab to let out the steam. Mmm, a chai tea with vanilla and cinnamon. He really does want to spoil me this morning.
“Nothing earth-shattering. There have been a lot of major changes lately, and it’s unrealistic to expect things to be both so different and remain the same. Shenanigans is special to me and always will be. No furry asshole can take that away, but if being there draws the wrong kind of attention to people I care about, I have to rethink.”
“You’re not rethinking being a druid are you?”
“No. Only what that looks like going forward. When Liam drew the line of normal people between himself and me, he wasn’t all wrong. As much as it hurt, I am different now.”
Calum’s radio squelches and he stands. “Coffee break is over. I’ll see you tonight. FYI, Kev’s coming for dinner. I bought the stuff for chicken pot pie and put it in the fridge. If you’re around and have time, great. If not, no worries, I’ll throw it together when I get here.”
“I should be around. Have a good shift. Safe home.”
Calum kisses my forehead. “No more tears, Fi. It doesn’t matter where we are, you and me and this family...we’re all we’ll ever need.”
When Calum leaves, I take my tea and shuffle to the reading chair by the window. Bruin’s out cold on the floor, his heavy breathing a steady, rumbling comfort. For the next half-hour, I flip through Beauty’s pages and sip tea. I didn’t have the clarity of mind to achieve a successful self-healing spell last night. Maybe I’ll have better luck this morning.
Maybe I could swear Emmet to secrecy and let him try.
Maybe I should lump it and let Sloan do it.
My mind spins with the spinoff scenarios of riling up well-meaning men and opt against it. “Come on, Beauty. Girl Power time. Show me what you’ve got.” As I skim the pages, I finish my apple fritter and sip my tea. Calum is not only thoughtful, but he’s also right—and so is Da.
My happy place isn’t a place. It’s the people I love.
Shenanigans isn’t going anywhere. I have time to sort it out, and once the changes settle, I can revisit the idea of where I belong without panicking. There will never be a line dividing me from Liam and Auntie Shannon. They are part of me.
I find a spell in the healing section that looks promising.
Taking a notepad from the drawer of my side table, I rework the wording. Powerful and practiced druids don’t need spells or rhyme to focus their powers. I’m not there yet. I can’t affect things solely through the strength of my connection to magic. One day I will, but today, I need the spell, my salted caramel candle, and my casting stones.
When my candle’s flame is lit, I breathe in the sweet succulence, focus, and recite my spell.
Magic mend and candle burn,
Damage end and health return.
Strengthen that which needs to knit,
End the pain and leave me fit.
I sit there with my eyes closed and focus my intentions. Almost immediately, I can move without losing my breath. Yay me! Cautiously optimistic, I step into the shower and wash away the last of my heartache.
I told Calum today would be better, and hey, things are looking up already. Dressed, and with my hair blown dry and pulled back in a clip, I head downstairs to start my day.
The house is empty.
Vacation is over, and normal life reclaimed my brothers. Cops are cops, I suppose. As much as I love having everyone with me full-time, it’s good to resume the routine of our life.
Fully charged for the day, I call down the basement steps and get nothing but echo back. I find a note from Sloan on the kitchen table saying to meet him in the grove when I’m ready.
Perfect. I take a picture of the grocery list on the fridge, slip my cell into my pocket, and slide my feet into my shoes.
It’s a quarter to ten when I hit the back yard to track down Sloan. The day is crisp with the smell of autumn in the air but still clings to summer’s last remnants. The sky is clear, not as bl
ue as I like, but certainly not overcast.
I find Sloan swinging gently beneath one of the elm trees he contributed during the grove’s expansion. He’s meditating in a wicker basket swing chair. It looks roomy, fits with the grove’s organic feel, and has a big, puffy brown cushion lining the inside. It seems like it would be super comfy whether sitting in it or lounging back.
His eyes are closed, and although I haven’t made any noise on my approach, his expression softens to a smile. “Alive and well and wondering how to eject me from this fine furniture to claim it for yerself?”
I giggle. “Something like that.”
His smile widens as he sits forward and climbs out of the hanging woven oval frame. I exchange places with him and tuck my feet beneath me. It’s cozy, and I love it the moment I’m inside. “When did we get this?”
“I picked it up this morning when I was out. I remembered how ye hogged the hammock at Lugh’s and Lara’s and thought ye might enjoy it. I also remembered how tentative and awkward ye found it getting on and off the hammock, so I thought the chair might suit ye better.”
I snuggle deeper into the cushion and sink heavy into the pendulum motion as it swings beneath the canopy. Sighing, I study the lush green of new growth in my trees. “It’s perfect. I absolutely love it. Thank you.”
“My pleasure.”
“Is this a parting gift?” I sit up straighter. “I guess it’s time for you to head home. You’re probably fully recharged and eager to get back to your life, eh?”
“I am fully charged, although it’s not necessarily a parting gift. I thought I might stick around for another day or two and help ye break in yer cushion.”
I chuckle. “Break in my cushion? You’re assuming I’d ever get out of it to give you the chance.”
“Meals. Trips to the loo. I’m a patient man.”
“And I’m a stubborn girl with a strong bladder. If you challenge me, I might cop a squat right here to defend my territory.”
“Och, the things that come out of yer mouth.” He laughs and grips the frame to give me a push. “In truth, I knew ye wouldn’t be willing to share.” He waves his hand in front of the tree opposite me, and another chair becomes visible. “So, I went ahead and got one for myself or the boys as well.”
A Sacred Grove (Chronicles of an Urban Druid Book 2) Page 21