I’m dressed in clean clothes—not Scriptorium clothes but an ocean-blue chiton, and I’m relishing my newfound freedom to make that choice. My entire torso still feels like one gigantic bruise. I have to either move gingerly or not at all, so I’ve settled myself in a chair. For the first time in a long time, I have nothing to do except bask in the sunlight from a nearby window.
And it’s wonderful.
The others are here, too. Dane and Zara polish their daggers—not something I’d bond over but whatever works for them. Matthias is perched on Rudy’s lap on one of the reclining couches and they’re laughing about something. Alix is reading a book on automaton anatomy on a window bench. He’s been quiet since it all ended a week ago. It’s a prick of wrong in all this right.
Zara admires her dagger before sliding it back into its sheath. “Well, this has been fun. But I’m ready to be back out at sea. Being on land this long makes me itchy.”
She’s already told us she’s been granted a new ship by the rebel Scriptmasters working with Calantha; they have formed a provisional government while they try to figure out what to do next. They were going to give Zara a ship from the Scriptorium fleet, but instead Zara chose a junk bucket the Scriptorium had captured from another pirate. She says she’s going to rehabilitate it. I’m happy for her. She seems more relaxed now, as if a weight has been lifted. Maybe this is closer to who she really is.
“Will you be leaving soon?” Matthias asks.
“Yes. There are plenty of people out there who were hurt by the Magistrate’s Library that we have to track down. If we can help them in any way, we want to.”
I glance at Dane with raised eyebrows. He grins back, and I know he’s made the decision to go with her. I can’t blame him, but it will be strange not having him around. It was only a few weeks ago when I was back on Tallis thinking I’d have to leave him. Now he’s the one leaving me. But at least it’s not forever. We made it so it wouldn’t have to be.
“Well, I’m certainly staying here,” Rudy pipes up. “Without the Script ink no one will be able to make automatons anymore, so there’s a real chance we can use the Script for good. I want to be part of that.”
Matthias gives a stretch, lounging across Rudy’s lap like a contended cat. “Good, I’ll help.”
“You don’t know the first thing about the Script,” Rudy says with a laugh.
“I can learn. Besides, with any luck, there won’t be a need for the Bandit for a while. I think I’m overdue for a vacation anyway.”
I look at Alix.
“What about you?” I ask quietly.
He glances at me and I see the indecision flash over his face. It’s the same emotion curling around my own heart. Whether it was surviving or finding my brother or taking down the magistrate, I’ve always had something to fight for. And I’m glad I’ve done all those things, but it’s also left a void. I don’t know what I’m supposed to do next.
Alix reaches up and fiddles with his father’s medallion. “I’m not sure.”
“Why don’t you join the council?”
We all jump to our feet, except for Zara, who sits there, grinning.
Calantha stands in the doorway. I knew she was liberated the day the magistrate fell and that Zara’s seen her since, but this is the first time I have. She looks thinner now, but she’s dressed once again in her Scriptmaster robes and that determined, passionate look is back in her eyes.
And I’m glad. Even though I was at times suspicious of her, even though we didn’t always get along. She wouldn’t be Calantha without that passion.
She smiles at Alix. “What do you think?”
Alix stares at her. “The council? You mean for the Scriptorium?”
“Yes, we have to rebuild it from its foundations. There is no longer going to be a magistrate, but we’ll keep the governing inner council. I want you to be on it.”
He shifts awkwardly. “I don’t know anything about politics.”
“We can teach you the politics. You’re the only automaton still awake. The only one that will probably ever be awake now. For better or for worse, the Scriptorium has spent its whole history studying automatons. I think it only right that you be part of guiding us on to our next goal.” She turns to me. “And I would like you to be on it as well.”
Now it’s my turn to stare at her. Alix, I understand. It’s perfect for Alix, a path forward when he seems so lost. But me? “What?”
“For too long the council has been solely comprised of old men and women with old ideas. You’re an intelligent young woman, Karis, and you have so much potential. In some ways, this all started with you two. It seems only fitting then that you both be part of this new era.”
I’m not used to people thinking I have potential. I was always just one orphaned brat among many. Could I really be something more here?
I glance over at Alix. He meets my eyes for a long moment before looking away. My heart twists.
“You don’t have to decide now,” Calantha says. “But promise me you’ll think about it.”
I bite my lip and nod. I am already thinking about it, and I’m already confused about it.
“What about the magistrate?” Zara asks. “And his council?”
“Their trial will be next month.”
Zara snorts. “A man like that doesn’t deserve a trial. Get me my ship and I’ll find a nice shark pod to drop him off in.”
Calantha shakes her head. “No. That is what he would have done. According to the law, everyone has the right to trial, so he’ll get one.” She smiles. It’s an evil expression. “Then we’ll throw him into the dankest cell we have.”
Zara grins.
“And his other supporters that are out there?” Rudy asks.
“They’ll be trickier,” Calantha says. “Many of those who are still loyal to him have already fled, but they’ll still be out there, planning. We’re trying to track them down, but we can’t risk sending too many of our forces away, not with Eural clamoring for war.”
Zara says something else, but I’m not paying attention. Alix sits quietly on the window seat, staring out at the Acropolis yard where the Colossus once stood. I wonder what he’s thinking about. A world without the magistrate and the council, maybe, where we’re the ones who are trying to shape this new future. This journey started so long ago, but we got through it together. I’m sure we can get through whatever comes next as well.
The only problem is, I don’t know if he wants that anymore.
* * *
Calantha and the others are still talking when Alix slips out the door. I wait for him to come back but he doesn’t. So instead I go after him.
I check his rooms, the dining hall, the studies, and don’t find Alix anywhere. Finally, I stop for a rest at the end of a hallway, leaning against a windowsill to catch my breath. My ribs have been feeling better since the healers saw them, but they still burn, the most apparent wound that came from all this.
A light scraping sound echoes up the hallway and when I turn, I see Matthias coming toward me, his cane sliding across the floor in front of him.
I straighten. “Matthias.”
He grins. “I thought that might be you, guzzling in breath. I could hear you from two hallways away.”
I roll my eyes but can’t stop the smile from tugging at my lips. “You know, a kind brother would ask me how I was doing.”
He laughs as he stops in front of me. “My apologies. How are the ribs?”
“Terrible.”
That just makes him laugh again. He rubs his fingers on his cane. It’s different from the one he had on the Streak. That was a spare piece of timber. This one is dark wood, polished so brightly it gleams, with a silver head. Standing beside my brother in this magnificent building, him holding such a beautiful cane, truly makes me realize how far we’ve come.
“Nice cane,”
I say.
“Rudy got it for me. As a gift for not dying. Though now that the Scriptorium is open to trying runes from different nations, he thinks he might be able to make a better one with Scriptwork.”
That tenderness is back in Matthias’s voice and I’m glad that he’s found someone to be happy with. I’m ashamed I ever thought that meant he was replacing me.
“What are you doing out here anyway?” he asks.
“I’m trying to find Alix.”
“Ah, thinking about Calantha’s offer?”
I poke him in the arm. “Jealous I’m about to be promoted past you?”
“Not at all. I hate meetings. It’s a lot of paper rustling and paper studying and everyone forgetting I don’t read. Besides, I prefer being out there.” He gestures vaguely to outside. “Less stuffy.”
“Did you just call the Acropolis stuffy?” I ask. “This building has centuries of history to it, most of it before the magistrates started twisting everything. Think of what we might be able to find here.”
“It’s still just a building.”
I grin. “You’re so uncultured.”
“Says the girl I used to have to beg to stop pitching rotten fruit at the Heretis Scriptorium.”
“I’ll have you know I just did that because I wanted to make you proud.”
Matthias’s face goes soft. “You’ve always made me proud.”
A wad of emotion sticks in my throat. I never realized until now how much I needed to hear those words. How much I needed to know I still had his approval. I step closer to him, wrapping him in a hug. Laughing, he ruffles my hair.
“Listen, you know Alix better than anyone,” Matthias says. “I’m sure you’ll be able to find him. And maybe after you can spend some time with me and Rudy. I’d like you to get to know him better.”
I step back. “I’d like that, too.” I want to get to know Matthias again as well. We can’t return to what we were before, but we can build something new that’s just as good.
He readjusts his grip on his cane and goes to stroll away.
“Matthias?”
He turns back.
“Promise me you’ll show me the Bandit at least once.” There have been hints, but I want to experience the Bandit full force, sneaking through the city.
His teeth flash in his grin. The expression is all mischief, and it’s nothing and everything like the brother I remember. “It’s a promise.”
He leaves. I think back to what my brother said: you know Alix better than anyone. He’s right. I do.
And I know where he’ll be now.
42
* * *
ALIX
I sit on the steps of my father’s villa, staring out at the wilted garden. When I first came here, I planned on going back to his workshop, but I wasn’t brave enough to head in there alone. So instead I sit, thinking about Calantha’s offer. My father served on the council. If I served, too, I’d be following in his footsteps.
Only my father was so many things I’m not. He was always so sure of himself, so driven. While I’ve seen so little compared to everyone else. I don’t know if I’m ready to do what Calantha thinks I can. I do want to find my own purpose for my life. I simply didn’t expect that idea to be so intimidating.
There’s a rustle and I snap my head up. Karis is squeezing through the gap in the gate, wincing as she does. Then she sees me. She stops, nervously tucking a strand of hair behind her ear that’s escaped from her braid. “I was looking for you. I thought you might like some company.”
The hope in her voice is vulnerable. I’m still not quite sure where we stand with one another but the truth is I don’t want to be alone. I nod.
Karis’s face gives way to relief and she gingerly comes and sits next to me.
We sit silently for a few moments. I gaze up into the sky, where a swallow darts across the blue. It’s the first one I’ve seen here. I wonder what it would take to bring the birds back to this place.
“I bet these gardens were beautiful back then,” Karis finally says.
“They were.” Zara told me this villa is mine, whether or not I want to live here. I haven’t decided yet. “I suppose I could replant them if I wanted. It isn’t ever going to be the same, though.”
“You can still make it beautiful,” she murmurs.
I sigh, pressing my hand to my forehead. There’s still this ache deep in my chest whenever I think of what she did to me. At the same time, though, suddenly I want to talk to her, because she’s here, and I need somebody. I need her. My friend. “I don’t know what to do now, Karis. Destroying the Heart was everything my father and I worked for. I’m glad it’s gone, but I don’t know what I’m supposed to do next.”
She pulls out a little paper butterfly from her pocket and runs her fingers along its wings. “You know what, Alix? That just makes you alive. Deciding what you want to do. Finding something that gives you purpose. We all have to do that. I have to do that.”
A hitch enters her voice and I glance over at her, but she shakes her head. “A life is no more than that. And you have that life, same as anyone else.” She meets my eye and that hesitation that’s grown between us slips away for a few moments. She’s back to the same stubborn girl who crossed oceans with me. “So, what is it you want to do?”
What do I want to do, with this life that is mine? For the first time I truly ask myself that, not wondering what my father would want or what Calantha would want or what the world would want. I’ve carried my past for a long time, and I’ll carry it for the rest of my life, but it’s time to let go of the anger and the sadness. I’m ready to let it go. My father is gone. I’m still here. It’s up to me to build my life now.
“I do want to join the council,” I say. “If I can make a difference, I want to.” For myself and for the future I want to see. “Will you join me?”
She shifts nervously. “Would you want me to?”
Perhaps we can’t change what happened. The decisions she made. The decisions I made. That doesn’t mean we have to let them ruin us. Even if what happened stays between us forever, there will be other things there, too. Better things. I reach out and squeeze her hand. “I would.”
A smile comes onto her face only to tremble as tears prick at her eyes. I stare, flummoxed. In all the time we’ve been together, I’ve never actually seen her cry.
“Sorry. I’m just really happy.” She hurriedly starts to swipe at her eyes, but I stop her, gently wiping her tears away. It seems odd now, how afraid I used to be of hurting others. Those feelings, of anger and grief and sadness, that once seemed so overwhelming, I’m learning to handle.
“Thank you,” she whispers. “I’ll do it right this time, I promise.”
“And the council?” I ask. “Will you do that, too?”
She squeezes my hand. “If you want me there, of course.”
I do. I want to build a new Scriptorium. I want to build it with my friends. Even if we hurt each other in the process. Maybe, in the end, it’s impossible to grow without hurting others. Without being hurt in turn. Maybe that’s all right, as long as we try to do better. All these moments make us up. They’re all precious in their own way.
There’s still this gnawing ache inside of me, though.
Somehow, she knows.
“What is it?” she asks.
Perhaps it’s time to say it, what I’ve barely been able to admit even to myself. Only sitting here, in front of my old home and yet a lifetime away from it, I know there’s something else I need to do. “I want to learn more about my father’s work. Most of it has probably been lost by now, but I want to understand how he made me. If what he said about automatons was true.” That once they were good. I rub the pottery fragment Rudy gave me, nestled in my belt pouch. I’m more than those other automatons could ever be, but it’s still a history I want to know. I want to fi
gure out the ways I’m different and why.
“And your tome?” she asks quietly.
I pull my tome out of the satchel, touching its worn cover. I still fantasize about being rid of the thing, so that nothing has the ability to control me like it can. But I don’t feel that so urgently anymore. This tome doesn’t define me, no matter what other people might think or say.
“I’m not going to destroy it.” Maybe one day I will, if I find out it’s safe. For now, though, I can live with it.
Karis stands up and holds her hand out to me. “Well then, let’s change the world. One more time.”
I take her hand, and in that moment our entire history is spread out before us. Her waking me up. Our trek across oceans until we came here. Her betraying me. My destroying the Heart. The good and the bad are both a part of us now. And they make us who we are.
I smile at her, and with her hand in mine, I get to my feet.
* * *
ACKNOWLEDGMENTS
This book would not have been possible without the support of a wonderful group of people. I cannot thank everyone enough for the time, care, and attention that they put into this novel.
To Rebecca Strauss, the best agent I could ask for. You were the first one to believe in Karis’s and Alix’s story, and I would never have thought to write this book without your encouragement.
To the superb team at Inkyard Press who guided the story’s development and were there for me every step of the way. I’m so glad my book found a home with you. A special thanks to Lauren Smulski, Bess Braswell, Connolly Bottum, Allison Draper, and Chris Wolfgang.
To Anna Prendella. Your notes pushed me to make this book so much stronger and it was such a pleasure working with you.
To Dill Werner and Rawles Lumumba. Thank you for all the incredible insight and the ways you changed my book and my characters for the better.
To Gigi Lau, Mary Luna, and Maciej Frolow for creating such a beautiful cover. It was such a special moment seeing an element of my book brought to life, and I couldn’t be happier with it.
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