He shrugged. “You’d learn if you wanted. I like chocolate cake. And it’s easier to learn how to do it yourself than buy a slice in a coffee shop.”
“I don’t know. I’d think the coffee shop was easier.”
The look he gave her was full of meaning. “When there is a coffee shop. Sometimes there isn’t.”
He meant when he was deployed somewhere. She finished the last bite of cake and sighed. “Well, good news for your team or squad or whatever.”
His grin was genuine. “Yeah, I get stuck cooking when we have facilities.”
She blinked. “And what do you do when you don’t?” She didn’t imagine they had takeout in some of the places he went to.
“MREs.”
“Oh yes, how could I forget those?”
Meals Ready to Eat came in sealed pouches, packed about a million calories per meal, and had been known to cause some pretty desperate trips to the restroom when you weren’t accustomed to eating them. Or so she’d been told.
“No one ever forgets MREs, believe me.”
“So I’ve heard.” She got up and collected his plate and took everything over to the sink. She washed the dishes quickly, and then set them in the strainer to dry. When she turned around, Sam was watching her, his expression intense and heated. Her heart skipped a beat.
“If I could be with anyone, I’d pick you,” he said.
She licked suddenly dry lips. “You can. All we have to do is try.”
He shook his head and her heart fell. “I already know how it’ll go. Tried it once before and it didn’t work out.”
She didn’t know why it pierced her to think of Sam having a relationship with another woman. She’d been married, for goodness sake. But it kicked her in the chest to think of him with anyone else.
“I’m sorry it didn’t work out, Sam.”
He shrugged. “It’s fine. It happens.”
“What if I wanted to try anyway?”
She could tell he’d stiffened where he sat. “Best not to go down that road, Georgie. I’d rather have this—these few memories of you—than know I wasn’t what you wanted me to be.”
She wanted to go over and shake him. “You keep saying that. But how do you know what I want you to be? What if I just want you to be yourself?”
He got to his feet and stretched and she knew he was through with this conversation. “I better check in with HQ now.”
He turned to walk away, but she couldn’t let him go so easily. “You know,” she called, “I had the right man with the right connections—and a fat lot of good it did me. The only person who cares that you aren’t part of the country club set is you, Sam.”
He turned back to her, his eyes glittering. “Maybe so. But that still doesn’t change the fact that what I do isn’t normal. Or stable. Are you ready for that, Georgie? Can you honestly say you are?”
Her throat was tight. “I don’t know. But I’d like the chance to figure it out.”
He looked cool and remote, and she knew he wasn’t even considering it. Then he shook his head. “I’m right, Georgie. About everything. You’ll realize it eventually. And you’ll be thankful you had a near miss.”
She wanted to growl. “Don’t tell me what I’m supposed to be feeling. I’ll work that out for myself, thanks.”
He only arched an eyebrow before he pulled his phone from his pocket and walked outside. She watched him go down into the yard, away from her, and start to talk to someone on the other end. She wanted to scream. Instead, she hugged her arms around herself and wished this nightmare would soon be over. If she were in her home, her bed, her life—well, maybe she wouldn’t ache so much when Sam McKnight refused to consider any kind of future where she might fit in.
When it got late, Georgie went to get ready for bed. Sam didn’t even look up when she left, and she wondered how this night would go compared to last night. When she finished her nightly routine and went back out to the kitchen to grab some water, Sam was on the cot, eyes closed, arms folded over his impressive chest.
It was precisely what she expected—and yet she fumed for several minutes before she went and climbed into bed alone. Georgeanne Hayes was not begging. She’d come perilously close to it earlier when he’d told her there was no chance for them, but that was a line she wasn’t going to cross—no matter how needy she felt or how much she ached for him.
But of course sleep wouldn’t come as she lay there alone, knowing Sam was in the next room, knowing what kind of heat they’d already shared. She’d been in bed for an hour, maybe two, lying awake with the covers tossed back and her heart pounding in frustration, when her door opened. Sam came in on silent feet and then stripped before lowering himself onto the mattress.
She wanted desperately to turn into him, to roll her hips against his body and beg him for fulfillment—but she was angry and she couldn’t do that without being weak. She didn’t like being weak.
“What are you doing?” she demanded. “I thought we were finished.”
He rolled her beneath him in a single smooth move and she realized he was hard. Her core flooded with heat. She barely suppressed a whimper. She should tell him to go away, but there was no way in hell she was going to do it.
No way.
“We should be, but God knows I can’t get a moment’s rest with you in the next room. Not when I want you so bad.” He flexed his hips and her body arched up off the bed, though she willed it not to.
“Sam. My God…” Her voice choked with need.
“This is what life with me is like, Georgie. Nothing for days on end—and then there I am, in your bed, in your life, wanting you to drop everything and be with me. Because I’ve been out in the field and now I’m back and I need you.”
Her breath was coming faster now. She could tell it tortured him to say these things, but she wanted to hear it. Wanted to understand. His life terrified her, but she needed him all the same. “I like being needed.”
“And if I only need you for sex? If all I want is a hot fuck before I’m gone again?”
“Maybe that’s all I want. Did you ever consider that?”
He stiffened and she knew that thought had never crossed his mind. Well, hell, it hadn’t crossed hers either, but damn if she’d let him be the one to say those kinds of things, to make assumptions about her feelings—even if they were mostly true.
She’d always done what she’d been expected to do. She’d married the proper guy and followed him around while he advanced in his career—and look how that had worked out for her. Maybe it was time she did something shocking. Maybe it was time she threw herself into a sexual relationship with a man and worked out the details as they happened.
Except, God, she really didn’t see herself operating that way. Not when the man was Sam and she’d loved him for half her life.
His mouth dropped to the column of her throat and she sighed as his lips and tongue left a trail of flame in their wake. There was nothing better than this feeling she got when he was making love to her.
Sam McKnight was her drug of choice, and she needed her fix.
Regardless that the fall to the bottom of the pit would be damn hard when it came.
“Georgie, you have to start thinking about this. You can’t want me beyond these few days. I’m good for nothing but this kind of thing. I can’t give you what you deserve.”
She lifted her head and nipped his earlobe. “I’ll be the judge of what I deserve.” She wrapped her legs around his waist, held on tight. “Go ahead, Sam. Do what you think is your absolute worst. I need it. I need you.”
He rocked into her body with a single sharp thrust and she gasped with the intensity of the pleasure he gave her. Everything felt so right when she was with Sam. So gloriously good.
He began to thrust into her hard, deep, and sure, until she was a mass of raw nerve endings, until the explosion took hold of her and magnified her senses to a keen edge. He followed her, her name a broken groan on his lips. And then he gathered her close and
she remembered nothing else as she fell into a deep sleep.
18
Georgie wasn’t quite sure, but she thought that Sam decided to stop fighting with her about the future. Or at least that he’d determined not to think about it. Because for the next two days, he was with her every moment. They spent hours in bed together, learning the taste and texture of each other, and they spent hours talking. About anything and everything—except for the specifics of his job in the military. She knew that part was off-limits, and she understood why.
But they did talk about the things he’d done, the places he’d gone. She learned the number and position of his scars, his calluses, the first time he’d shot a man, and the first time he’d been shot.
She ached for him, and she wanted to hold him tight and never let him go. Not that he would let her. If he had any idea how protective she felt, how angry she grew when she thought of him wounded and laid up in a hospital with no one to visit him except his Army buddies, then perhaps he wouldn’t tell her these things.
And that she could not bear. So she kept silent and she listened. And then she told him things about herself.
Sam wanted to know about her relationship with Tim, and she found herself saying what she’d never told anyone else. Sam listened attentively, but he frowned a lot.
“He didn’t deserve you, Georgie,” he finally said.
Georgie felt a flood of warmth deep inside. “I know.” And then she reached for his hand. “I know exactly what I deserve now.”
He’d stopped protesting when she said things like that, but she didn’t kid herself he’d made his peace with it. He still watched her with those wary eyes when he thought she didn’t know it. She knew he was turning it over in his head, thinking about his job, about Rick and her parents, and about everything he thought he couldn’t give her.
Of course she knew what her family wanted for her. They’d always wanted her coddled and privileged, wanted her to be with a man who didn’t want her for the money in her trust fund.
Sam didn’t want her trust fund, but he was certain her family would think he did. And he was too proud to endure that. She knew he didn’t want handouts. From anyone. It tortured him to think her family might think less of him. She understood now that a great part of why he’d worked so hard to make something of himself was to prove that he could. To prove that her parents’ faith in him hadn’t been misplaced.
It touched her and broke her heart all at once. And she couldn’t convince him it didn’t matter because to him it did.
His phone rang early on the fourth evening of their time together. Every time he got a call she held her breath, but so far it hadn’t been the call he’d been waiting for—the one that said it was time for her to call the terrorists.
But this time was different. She could tell by the tension evident in every line of his body.
When Sam hung up, he stared at her for a long moment. “You ready for this, babe?”
Her belly churned with fear. “Yes.”
“The FBI has been watching the cell, and there’s surveillance video that places Abdullah al-Fayed—that’s the guy you saw—close to the spot where Hamilton’s body was found. That’s not enough to convict him though. We need more.”
“So I have to arrange a meeting to sell the information.” She blew out a breath. “I can do it, Sam. I’m ready.”
His expression was troubled. “I hate that you’re involved. I feel like I’m betraying your whole family to put you in danger this way.”
Something hot and sweet flowed through her. “Sam.” She got up and went to his side. He dragged her down into his lap and wrapped his arms around her. She lay her head against his. “You’ll protect me. You and your guys. You said so, and I believe you.”
He squeezed her a little tighter. “I’ll protect you with my life, Georgie.”
Her heart hitched. “I don’t want that. Just protect me. Shoot those bastards if you have to, but don’t you dare sacrifice yourself for some bizarre reason.”
He laughed softly, his body shaking beneath her. “Believe me, I’m not about to sacrifice myself. I’m not that helpless. But if I had to die to keep you safe, I would. Just so you know.”
She put her hands on either side of his face. Cupped him almost fiercely. “Don’t say stuff like that.”
His eyes searched hers. “Okay.”
“Kiss me, Sam. Please.”
His grip tightened. “There’s no time.”
“There’s always time. You can make me come in three seconds. You know that.”
He laughed. “I suppose we can spare three seconds.”
“Damn straight we can.”
Sam kissed her and the world faded away.
“You can do this, baby,” Sam said as Georgie held her phone and took deep breaths. They’d spent a little longer than three seconds making each other feel good, but it was over now and there was nothing left to do except call Abdullah al-Fayed at the number Richie had given them.
“I know.” Georgie’s mouth was red, her lips luscious and swollen from the force of his kisses. His body still zinged with sparks. He was pretty sure hers did too. Her nipples were tight little points in her T-shirt and he ached to spend more time touching them.
Like he hadn’t spent the past four days touching them—licking, sucking, biting—and coming on them one memorable time.
“Once we set up the exchange, that’s it. We’ll get those bastards and you’ll be safe.”
Except he didn’t want her to do it. At all. It terrified him to think of Georgie having anything to do with capturing a terrorist. But they had no choice. Jake Hamilton was the common denominator. Al-Fayed wouldn’t trust anyone else who happened to show up for negotiations. It had to be Georgie because he believed she’d been Jake’s girlfriend.
Georgie punched in the number, her phone on speaker. Someone answered on the first ring. “Dr. Hayes,” he said, and Sam’s gut tightened at Al-Fayed’s use of her name.
Georgie’s brows drew down. “How did you know it was me?”
“Because only Jake Hamilton called me at this number.”
“Oh.”
“Are you alone, Dr. Hayes?”
Georgie looked guilt-stricken. She was too honest for this kind of thing. She frowned harder. “I am at the moment.”
“Take your phone off speaker.”
“I’m fixing dinner. It’s easier this way.”
“Nevertheless, you will take your phone off speaker or this call is over.”
Georgie stabbed at her phone’s screen and then lifted it to her ear. “Fine. I’m off speaker. Geez, paranoid much?”
A small part of Sam was laughing at her for saying it. The rest of him was on edge.
“Yes, well, I know what you said about contacting me, but I needed to think. And I think I have what you want. Maybe we could make an arrangement.” She paused for a long moment while Al-Fayed spoke. “It’s an SD card he gave me for safe keeping. The plans for the DARPA long-range drone project are on here. Jake said if he didn’t come back, I should destroy it. But I’d rather have the money. You were planning to pay him for this stuff, right? One hundred thousand dollars in cash?”
She sounded so mercenary. So calm and cool. He watched her intently, proud of her, amazed by her—and terrified for her at the same time.
“Yes, we can meet. I’m staying on the Eastern Shore. I’ll give you the address.” She paused again. “You don’t want to come to me? Seriously? I thought you wanted this stuff.”
Sam nodded.
“Well of course I won’t be alone. I’m staying with a friend. You come out here, bring a friend if you like, and we’ll make an exchange. My friend will make sure you don’t try to kill me like you killed Jake, you’ll give me the cash, I’ll give you the card, and then you can go.”
Georgie met his gaze. He waited while Al-Fayed talked to her.
“Look, I don’t care if you get this thing or not—if you don’t want to come out here, then forget it
. I can find another buyer. I’d rather be done with it than have to find someone else, but I’m not stupid and I’m not putting myself in danger. You already tried to push me off a train platform. You’re lucky I’m even talking to you after that.”
That last part wasn’t in the script, but it was a good touch. He gave her a thumbs up. She’d learned well.
Georgie grinned suddenly, nodding. “Okay, fine. I’ll text you the address. You bring your friend and I’ll have mine. You can verify the info is intact, give me money, and we’ll be done. Easy peasy, right?”
A second later, Georgie lowered the phone and tapped the button to end the call. Her hands were trembling. “Wow.”
Sam cupped her cheek. “Perfect, baby. Absolutely perfect.”
“I had to wing it a little bit at the end. He didn’t want to come out here at all.”
He took her phone and texted their address to the number she’d just called. “Of course he didn’t. He expects a trap.”
She arched an eyebrow as he handed it back. “Well he’s not wrong, is he?”
“No, he’s not wrong. But we don’t want to do this in a public place. He doesn’t either. He was just hoping you were inexperienced enough to go where he wanted you to go.”
“The SD card… it’s not really filled with Top Secret information, is it?”
“No. It’s a mockup that my guys made. Al-Fayed will want to check the information, and it’ll look real enough when he does—but it’s not anything that would compromise national security.”
“Why did they kill Jake if he was going to sell them the real information?”
“Best we can figure, Jake only gave Al-Fayed part of the information at their last meeting. He was probably trying to get more money. But something went wrong and Al-Fayed killed him.”
“And now he believes I have the plans.”
Sam nodded. “Jake must have suggested you did at some point.”
HOT Mess (Expanded Edition)(Hostile Operations Team - Book 2) Page 10