"Unless someone has been inside a jail, they have no idea. I'm damn glad we're on the right side of the bars."
He did a double take at the smile she flashed. For a moment she looked like the young woman he'd fallen in love with. He lowered his head and walked to his truck with her matching his step.
"Did I say or do something wrong?" Her question floated to him, low and filled with concern.
"What? No, not at all. I was lost in thought." Which was true. Thinking how damn much he missed the woman he'd given his heart to. How much he wanted to meet his son and how much he detested the fact she hadn't told him about Gage until now. His emotions warred with each other in a never-ending argument. The past couldn't be changed, nor could his emotional responses, yet he'd grown enough to know he'd deal with the turmoil meeting his son would spawn.
"What are the chances the captain will let us pursue this?" Amber asked after she'd buckled her seatbelt.
He started the engine and considered her question. "Short answer? It depends."
She chuckled as she checked her phone. She dropped it back to the seat beside her. "And the long answer?"
He shrugged. "Terrell will make a call based on available funding and the leads the guys are developing from the latest bust. If there are more concrete leads developed, we'll table the weaker ones and act on the information which will take the players, money, and drugs off the streets, and then pull any leads we can from those busts. It is a never-ending cycle. The cases we have to develop and expend man-hours and money on will slide from front and center of our workload to the rear of the pack depending on what's happening. So, like I said, it depends."
"How is surveillance handled in this unit?" She adjusted the vents in the truck and turned up the fan. "Getting warm."
"About time, it was a long damn winter." He hit the button starting the air conditioning, and she groaned a thank you. He chuckled and leaned his arm against the closed driver's side window. "We usually take shifts. The most senior are entitled days, which is everyone except you. I can talk to Anderson if you need me to do that."
"Why?" Her head snapped his direction.
"So you can be with Gage."
"Ah, no, I don't want you to do that. I don't want special favors. It would piss everyone off, wouldn't it? I know what comes with doing the job. Dawn and I can work it out." She crossed her arms and looked straight forward.
"You mean, Dawn, you and me, right?"
She turned her head toward him and blinked several times. A small smile made a brief appearance. "Yeah, I guess. I think we have quite a few steps before that happens, but having your help would be... nice."
He focused on the traffic. Nice? No, spending time with his son would be his definition of perfect.
Chapter 7
Amber drove into the driveway and parked. As she walked through the garage, she secured her weapon in the lockbox and headed inside.
Dawn met her at the door. "He's been asking me questions all day. You're up to bat. I'm going for a run." Her sister brushed past her.
"Wait, what did you tell him?"
"That you would explain everything." Dawn shrugged and grabbed her foot, pulling it back in a quad stretch. "I'm running while you do the explaining. I'll come home and cook so you can work out. Sorry, but I'm bailing on you." She dropped her foot and stretched the other quad.
"God, has it been that bad?" She put her lockbox on the high shelf out of sight and dropped her purse on the table with her keys.
"Bad? No. Hard for me not to sit him down and explain everything from my point of view? Yes. I'm not going there. This is on you." She dropped her foot. "I'll be back."
She watched Dawn jog from the garage and take a left at the street.
"Mom?" Gage called from behind her.
She spun and smiled. "Hey, buddy."
"Did you talk to him today?"
"I did. I spent the day with your father, actually." She slipped off her shoes and put her hand on his shoulder.
"At work?"
"Yeah, your dad and I are going to be working together. Come on, let me in. I need a bottle of water. Auntie Dawn said you had a lot of questions."
"Yeah, but she wouldn't answer them. She said I needed to hear the answers from you."
"Well that's true." She opened the fridge and grabbed a water. "Want one?"
He shook his head. "Why didn't you tell him about me?"
"Oh, gosh, the big questions right off the bat, huh?"
"Sorry?" His face tightened. Confused and maybe upset.
"No, come on. Let's crash on the couch." They moved into the living room. Gage plopped down right beside her, and she dropped an arm on his shoulders. "Okay, how do I explain this?" She held her water bottle in front of him, and he opened the top for her, keeping the cap. She took a drink. God, this was harder than she'd imagined. "I dated your dad for a long time. We met in high school. We didn't date then, but we knew each other. Then when my momma got really sick, I moved here with Auntie Dawn and my dad and stepmom."
"Yeah, I know. I remember pictures of Granny Dot and Grandpa Wallace."
"Right, so I didn't see your dad for a couple years. Then after I graduated high school I went to the junior college and then to the university. Your father was in most of my classes at the university. We were both majoring in Criminal Justice."
"You did two, right? Criminal Justice and Accounting." He smiled up at her.
"Right."
"You still suck at math. Why is that?"
"Well I don't suck at all math, only the stuff you do in the fifth grade." God knows the way they taught her son to add, subtract, multiply and divide was baffling. He got the right answers, but damn, how he got there was beyond her.
"I'm not buying it, missy." He narrowed his eyes at her and made his voice deeper, only to giggle when she tickled his ribs.
"Don't you get too big for your britches, mister."
He squirmed away from her and twisted on the cushion to look at her. "Finish telling me, Mom."
"Okay, well, we dated in college and in our senior year we moved into an apartment together."
"Were you married?"
"No."
He lowered his eyes to the water bottle cap he was spinning in his fingers. "Did you love him?"
"Very much. With all my heart." She blinked back the emotion the answer released.
"Did he love you?" He looked up at her. His big eyes, those beautiful blue eyes with darker rims of navy blue stared up at her.
"Yes, he did."
"Then what happened?" His innocent question almost broke her, but she owed him the answers.
"Well, have you ever been really afraid of something and run away from it?"
"Like the mean kid at the skate park that one time?"
"Kind of like that. See, when I was growing up and I was your age, my mom wasn't well, up here." She tapped her temple. "I didn't know that. She was my mom. She told me every day how marriage had trapped her, had killed all her dreams and prevented her from living the life she wanted. That if she hadn't married Dad, she'd have had a wonderful life. She told me the day I got married was the day my life was over. I heard it so many times. Every day, so many times a day, for the entire time I grew up. When your dad asked me to marry him, I got scared because what my mom told me was stuck in my head. I ran away."
"You did?"
She nodded. "I did. But when I got here to Aunt Dawn's, I sat down, and I looked at my fears. I realized what I'd done, running away, was wrong. I loved your dad and a life with him was what I wanted."
"What did you do?" His eyes were wide, and he stared at her intently.
She leaned forward, put the water bottle on the table, and grabbed a tissue to dab at her eyes. "Ten years ago, after he asked me to marry him and I ran away, he got in Gertie––"
"Gertie?" His voice cracked, changing pitch.
"That's what he called his truck"
Gage made a face. "That's a weird name."
"It
is. But anyway, he got in Gertie and was driving here because he knew this is where I'd go. There was an accident. A delivery truck ran into Gertie. Your dad was hurt. Bad."
"Is he okay?"
"He is now, but it took a long, long time for him to get better. At first he was in the hospital. When he got out he stayed with his parents.""
"But he didn't call you?"
"No, when I ran away, I hurt his heart. I made him feel like I didn't love him."
"But you did?"
"I did. When he got better, he didn't want to talk to me. Finally, I went to see his mom to ask her if she'd let me talk to him because by then I knew I was pregnant with you."
Those big eyes stared up at her. "Waddid she say when you told her about me?"
She took a deep breath and blew it out. "I didn't tell her. I don't know why." Bullshit, she was afraid of Hannah King. The woman intimidated the hell out of her. "She told me she'd let your dad know I came by, and he'd contact me if he felt like it." Which was the truth.
"But he didn't?"
"No. He didn't."
"Do you still love him?"
She smiled at her son. "I will always love your father because he gave me you." Unfortunately, any hopes of rekindling in Brody's heart the love she still carried for him was long gone. The anger that had radiated from the man when she'd first tried to talk to him had solidified that as fact. She'd burned that bridge ten years ago, and now, each passing day erected a barrier neither of them could scale.
"What's his name?"
"Brody King."
"He's a police officer, right? You said that this morning at breakfast. You're going to work with him now?"
"Right. He's a detective sergeant on the team I joined."
"Does he still want to see me?"
"Yes, he does. Family is very important to your dad. If you want to, we can go meet your Grandma and Grandpa King on Sunday."
"Do you think he'll like me? Do you think they'll like me?"
"No, I think they'll love you. Can I let you in on a secret?"
"What?"
"I think your dad is as nervous about meeting you as you are about meeting him."
"Really?" He sat up and twisted to look at her.
"Yep."
"That's kinda cool. It's gunna be weird, you know."
"I figured."
"I mean, like what do I do?"
"You be yourself. He wants to know you. That's it."
"Does he like to fish? Play lacrosse? What about football?"
"Those are great questions. Maybe you should ask him those on Saturday. What do you think?"
"Yeah, okay." He stood up and then turned to her quickly. "I don't have to go live with him, right? I can stay with you?"
"What? Of course, you're staying with me! Why would you ask something like that?"
"A judge made Tabitha spend time with her dad. He's got another family, and they aren't exactly nice to her."
"Ah, well see that's not going to happen here. Your father and I will work really hard to make sure nothing happens in your life that you aren't one hundred percent comfortable with. You know you can always talk to me, no matter what, right?"
He nodded. "I know. I just..."
"You get scared?"
"Yeah."
"Well, I promise, pinkie swear even, nothing like that is going to happen between your father and me. Okay?" She held her pinkie up, and Gage wrapped his around hers. God, she really hoped what she believed in her heart and had just promised her son was the truth.
"Okay."
"Cool. Are you done with schoolwork?"
"Yeah, it was math and spelling. Aunt Dawn quizzed me already on my spelling words."
"Perfect. Let me change and we'll go for a jog." Which meant he'd ride his bike as she jogged. The constant conversation kept her mind off the miles they logged.
"All right. Can we have fish sticks for dinner?"
"Gross!" She called over her shoulder as she headed to her room. She didn't mind fish sticks, but the boy would eat them every night if she'd allow it.
"Is not!" he called back.
"Ask Aunt Dawn, when we pass her, she's cooking dinner."
"Score!" His laugh followed his shout. Dawn was a sucker for an easy way out when it came to dinner.
Brody's phone rang as the talking head for the nightly news droned on. He muted the television and glanced at the caller ID. Amber. He drew a deep breath and answered with a question, "How did it go tonight?"
"Your son is really inquisitive." She chuckled and then sighed. "He wanted to know if we loved each other when we were together and why I left."
"What did you tell him?" Brody turned off the TV and leaned his recliner back.
"Honestly?"
"No, Amber, after all this time, I want you to lie to me." He rolled his eyes.
"Smart ass. Fine, I told him I loved you with all my heart, and I screwed up bad by running away."
Brody let her words settle around him. Her admission she'd overreacted in the truck last night wasn't much of a salve to the wounds he bore. But her words just now and telling their son she loved him? That numbed some of the lingering pain. He had to know. "Did you? Love me? I've asked myself that question a million times since that day."
She was quiet for several moments. "With all my heart. I will always regret the way I responded. I was so afraid I'd broken us, especially when I found out about your accident. I was standing outside your room at the hospital when I heard you tell Brock you never wanted to see me again. Then after I found out I was pregnant, I contacted your mom... You didn't call."
"I was wounded, physically and emotionally. I put myself out there. I confessed how much I loved you and asked you to spend your life with me. I wanted to take you on those adventures you dreamed of having. I wanted to be a part of your life. When you shook your head and said no, then literally ran away, you killed a part of me."
The young man he used to be had indeed died that day. His outlook on life had changed. He’d closed off, and yes, he'd become bitter. He trusted very few people now. His family and his team comprised the extent of those few. Learning about Gage and even about Amber's rationale for her actions wouldn't change the circumstances. Gage was family, enough said. As parents, he hoped they would be able to communicate, but on a personal level, she was his kryptonite.
"I know. How do I make amends for a bad choice I made ten years ago?" She whispered the emotion-filled words.
He had a very thin layer of scar tissue over that particular wound. He wasn't willing to open it again. He’d bleed out. "I don't think you can. Instead, tell me about Gage."
"He's amazing. Where do I start? He’s pretty tight with his best friends, Johnny, Nick, Simon and Finn. They do a lot of weekend sleepovers, and we parents rotate the duty. Johnny's father is a stay at home dad, and he holds two sleepovers a month. The rest of us divy out the remainder.”
"Good people?"
"Yes, and before you ask, I did check them out, very carefully. All the salt-of-the-earth-type folks. Let's see, what else... Oh, Gage loves to play baseball, lacrosse and soccer. Football, not so much, but that's because the pee-wee coach saw how much bigger he is than the other kids his age and made him do the tackle thing. He wants to run and catch the ball, but I can't throw a football to save my soul, so he doesn't get much practice at that."
"I can help with that. I was quarterback in high school."
"I remember. You were a popular jock who was nice to everyone. I'm still surprised you didn't play in college."
Her voice had mellowed out. It reminded him of all the late night talks they used to have. He sighed and pushed those thoughts from his mind.
"If you remember, I'm not the greatest student, and had I played in college, my grades would have suffered. Is Gage a good student?" He rerouted the conversation back to his son.
"Oh, yes. He's so smart. I had him tested for advance placement in English and math. He reads on an eighth-grade level, and he runs ci
rcles around me when it comes to math."
"Say what? You were always good in math."
"New math. I swear to the heavens, the way the kids do math now is some kind of hocus-pocus magic thing. I can't wrap my head around it."
He had no experience with that, so he changed the subject. "Is he allergic to anything?" He had seasonal allergies. They sucked but weren't extreme.
"Not that we've found. He's had the chicken pox and has a small scar above his right eyebrow from that. He's had all his childhood vaccinations and broken his arm from falling out of a tree we'd told him repeatedly not to climb. He loves to fish, ride his bike, and play video games. He'd run barefoot all summer if I let him. I've had to re-home frogs, small garden snakes, and snails, which have made it into his room when we weren't looking."
Brody chuckled at the mental image of Amber carrying a small garden snake back outside—the woman who freaked about a little spider in the shower. "Does he have a pet?"
"No, I work too many hours. Dawn has a full-time job, and with Gage in school all day and at the after-school program until either Dawn or I pick him up, it wouldn't be fair to an animal. He wants one. He's even got a name picked out."
"Yeah, what's that?"
"Bullet. He wants a German Shepherd named Bullet. I talked to a breeder, and he recommended we wait to get one. They need a lot of exercise and leaving them alone for long periods of time while they are growing up, well... the trainer said he wouldn't want anyone to do that to such an active animal."
"You told me he asked if you loved me. What else did he ask?"
"Well he wanted to know what you liked to do, and then he asked if I thought you'd like him. He seemed a little worried about possibly meeting your parents. Then... well, he asked if he had to go live with you." Her voice trailed away.
"Why would he ask that?"
"He has a classmate who was forced to spend time with her father. I'm assuming it was a divorce. I guess it wasn't amicable."
"He's afraid I'll take him away from you."
"He's not the only one." Her words were a mere whisper on her breath, but he heard them.
Brody (Hope City Book 3) Page 7