"The picture. That's a lot of kids." The awe in Gage's voice was almost comical.
"It got kind of crowded at times, but it was always fun. My older brother and his new wife are stuck at work. They went on a honeymoon, and now they are both catching up, but they want to meet you. Brock and Kallie are police officers, too. Homicide detectives."
"Really?"
"Yep."
"And your other brother is a fireman."
"Correct." He held up his fist, and Gage bumped it with his.
"Why did he get named after a fire again?" Gage rolled his football in his hands.
"He didn't, actually. Blayze is my great great grandfather's name on my mother's side. Or something like that. An old family name."
"Oh, yeah, I remember. Why does everyone's name start with a B?"
"That's a family tradition on my dad's side. I have three sets of cousins, and all their names start with either J, N, or K."
"That's cool. Where did you go to school?"
Amber listened as Brody and Gage talked. The conversation was happy and easy. She was delighted and at the same time a little envious at how easily Brody accepted Gage into his life when he’d let her go so long ago. And of course, then she felt guilty about feeling envious.
"Right, Mom?"
"Sorry, what?" She zoned back into the conversation.
"I was supposed to go fishing with Johnny and his dad."
"Right, but something came up." She smiled at him and drew a deep breath.
"No! Stop!" Gage put his hand over her mouth. "You don't wanna hear her sing."
Brody laughed and turned into the driveway of his parent's home. "Oh, believe me, I've heard her sing. Does she still sing in the shower?"
"Yes! It's so embarrassing."
"Hey! I can sing." Amber tried desperately to look offended, but anyone who’d heard her knew she couldn't carry a tune in a bucket.
"No, you can't." They both answered at the same time. Gage and Brody high-fived and laughed as they clambered from the driver's side door. Oh God, her heart swelled ten times the size it was two days ago.
"Come on, Mom," Gage called.
She shook herself from the moment and followed them into the backyard.
The swarm of people she'd expected didn't happen. Hannah and Chauncey King were on the back porch with Blay and Bekki. She was so proud of Gage. He was such a little man. He pulled out the 'Yes, sirs' and 'No, ma'ams' and charmed everyone with his mischievous smile. The neighbors migrated from their home about ten minutes after they arrived. She recognized Kyle McBride, one of Brody's best friends. She was reintroduced to Erin and Rory McBride, the twins who were the same age as Blay.
It took about an hour longer than she figured it would, but Hannah wandered out to where she sat, watching Brody and Gage play football with the host of Kings and McBrides.
"May I sit?" Hannah indicated the grass next to her.
"Please." Amber moved her soda can as Hannah sat down.
"Oh Lord, I may never get up from here." A small chuckle fell from Hannah's lips. "He's a wonderful young man, Amber. You should be very proud of him." Hannah's attention was on the game, too. Maybe because it was easier than looking at each other.
"I am. Very proud." She refused to apologize for her decision to raise him by herself.
"May I ask you something?" Hannah glanced at her.
Oh, boy, here it comes. She mentally steeled herself for the barrage of questions, accusations, and anger-laced barbs she'd been expecting from not only Brody, but his family. "Sure." She drew her knees up and wrapped her arms around them, recognizing her body language was defensive.
"Would it be all right if we helped by taking care of him?"
Amber's head whipped around. Take care of him? "What?"
"Oh, that came out wrong. I'm so afraid of making a mistake... Can we help babysit him when you're working? I know he's ten and probably doesn't think he needs a babysitter, but if your sister ever needs help, we'd be willing to watch him. We'd like to get to know him, and let him know us."
Amber tracked through Hannah's rushed explanation. "You want to help watch him?"
"If you'd allow it. Brody told me when the two of you were together, you thought I didn’t like you. I never meant for you to feel that way." Hannah plucked a dandelion and twirled the stem in her fingers. "I don't know why we had a strained relationship, but I felt it, too."
"Did you?" Amber asked and gave the woman her full attention.
"I did. I couldn't shake the feeling that you'd rather be anywhere else but where I was. I'm not sure what I did to make you feel that way, but I'd very much like to start over if we could." She nodded to the melee in the backyard masquerading as a football game. "For Brody and Gage, we should make the attempt."
"I never felt like you approved of me." Amber laid her cards on the table. "I tried to act in a way I thought would be acceptable to you."
"Approve of you?" Hannah repeated the words.
She nodded. "The whole time we dated, I had the impression you thought Brody could do better. The last time I spoke to you, the day I came looking for him… well… you said—” She stopped. She was not going to speak the words that had eaten at her for years. “At any rate, they simply confirmed my fear.”
“I didn’t like how you hurt Brody, but I never disliked you.” Hannah gasped. "Oh, no, I'd never think that." She turned on the grass and faced Amber. "After we got married, Chauncey and I moved to Hope City to get away from Chauncey's mother. His brother Chance had married a lovely woman, Amanda. We all loved her. You remind me a lot of her, now, I mean. Strong, competent and not looking for anyone's approval. Anyway, Chauncey's mother disowned Chance for marrying Amanda because she didn't approve of Amanda's background. She came from a very humble past. Lord, that mean old woman won't listen to anyone, and once she gets something into her head, she is steadfast. But Chance truly loved Amanda and walked away from his family because he loved his wife. I watched that woman tear her family apart with her judgmental attitude. I swore I would never, ever, do that to anyone my children dated. All I've ever wanted for my children is for them to be happy and loved. I earnestly pray if I ever made you feel less than welcome that you'll forgive me."
Amber stared at Hannah before she nodded. "I've had a lot of time to think about it, and I was as much a part of the problem between us, if not more. I was so desperate for your approval that I couldn't relax or be myself."
"You never need to be desperate for my approval, Amber. You already have it. You always have. I wish we would have had this conversation ten years ago." Hannah patted her hand.
Amber chuckled and held Hannah's hand for a moment before she released it. "I don't know if I would have been able to have this conversation then. I've done a lot of growing up."
"Ah... being a mom does that to you, doesn't it?" Hannah smiled at her.
"Boy, that's an understatement. Does the worry ever stop?"
They both turned when Gage shrieked.
Brody hoisted him up and flung him over a shoulder. "Hang onto the ball!" Brody ordered as he laughed and spun away from an exaggerated slow-motion tackle from Kyle.
Gage laughed and bowed his back, lifting the ball higher, away from the ill-fated swat that Bekki attempted, although it looked like Bekki had actually tried to get the ball.
They both cheered as Brody carried Gage into the end zone, demarcated by two plastic garbage cans. Brody dropped Gage to his feet, and they both did a touchdown dance.
"You never stop worrying, but you learn to trust they know how to take care of themselves." Hannah chuckled. "I know they call me the 'hover-copter,' and I do enjoy checking in on my children, but I only want them to be happy."
"That's all you can hope for, isn't it?" Amber agreed.
"Indeed. Say, would you like to come to girl’s night next week? Whoever is available, between the McBrides and us, get together every now and then and have some wine and gossip. Nothing formal, but Kallie will be there
if she doesn't have a case. I know you'd like her. She's Brock's wife and a detective, too."
Amber smiled at Hannah. "Thank you, if I'm not needed at work, I'd like that."
"Work comes first. Between the two families, we usually have four or five that make it. Can I get your phone number from Brody? I'll text you with the details."
"That's perfect, but I can give you my number, now."
Hannah chuckled. "I'd love to jump up and get my phone, but I'm going to need a tow truck to come pull me off the ground."
Amber popped up and extended her hands. "I've got you, Grandma."
Hannah's eyes misted, and she grasped her hands. "I'm a grandma! I'm so happy."
Amber helped her up and swallowed back her emotion. As Hannah stood, she whispered, "So am I."
Brody flopped down on his side on the grass beside Amber. "I'm dead."
"Dead people don't talk, or play football, or eat two steaks." She patted his stomach.
He caught her hand and squeezed it before he released it. "God, don't remind me, but damn they were good." He rolled onto his back and scooched closer to her, and they gazed toward the yard.
Gage was having the time of his life and from the looks of it, so were the adults. Blay raced across the lawn and grabbed Gage, lifting him away from Bekki so she couldn't reach the bandana tucked in his back pocket. The kid had been manhandled like that all day and was eating it up.
He popped to his elbows and bellowed, "Blay, he ate a lot; he may puke on you!"
Gage's laughter echoed in the backyard when Blay faked dropping him only to catch him, hoist him in the air again and run across the grass for a touchdown. Blay dropped to his knees, put Gage on his feet and face-planted in the grass. Gage dropped on top of him and pounded the ground next to Blay's head. "One, two, three! I pinned you!"
Blay rolled suddenly and buried his fingers in Gage's ribs. The boy's laughter dissolved into hysterical shrieks of laughter. "Mom! Mom! Daaaddd! Help!"
Brody's heart launched the same time he did. He sprinted across the grass and tackled Blay, rolling him off Gage. "Come on, payback time!"
Blay was majorly ticklish, and he held the man down digging his fingers in, showing Gage where to attack.
"Not cool!" Blay laughed while Gage tickled him. "Uncle!" Blay shouted his surrender.
Brody rolled off him and stared up at the blue sky. Gage fell down between them and rolled onto his back. "I like this yard. It’s huge."
"Your grandma and grandpa tore down the fence between the houses before your dad was born." Blay nudged Gage. "That's a long time ago because your old man is older than dirt."
Gage laughed and shook his head. "No one is older than dirt."
"Dessert!"
Brody groaned when Gage popped up at his grandmother's words, using his stomach as a landing place for his elbow.
"Chocolate Trifle!"
Gage was up and over him before he could blink.
"Damn, man, that kid has no give up in him." Blay flopped both arms above his head. His back popped, and he groaned.
"Told you."
Blay snorted. "I thought you were exaggerating."
"Nope."
His brother tipped his head and looked at the picnic area. "He called you Dad."
He nodded. The word made him feel twenty feet tall, though Gage had probably said it without thinking.
"Incoming." Blay rolled up and jogged across the lawn to the picnic table.
"Hey, coming to check if you'd actually died." Amber appeared over him, her ponytail hanging down as she bent over.
"Not yet. Soon." She reached down to help him up, but he tugged her down to the ground.
She laughed and then sat up, cross-legged. "Seems to be going well, huh?"
He rolled to his side, facing her, and not the crowd of people diving into dessert. "Saw you talking with my mother today. You have a good visit?"
Amber gave him a sad smile. "That talk was about twelve years overdue."
"Did it clear the air?" He plucked a blade of grass from the lawn.
She sighed and then shrugged. "It was hard, but we agreed we needed to try again. Next week, if we don't have something going on at work, I'm going to girl's night. The McBrides, the Kings—and me."
"You don't have to go if you don't want to." He’d damn sure have words with his mother and sisters before next weekend, too. He didn't want anyone laying blame on the woman for her actions. They hadn't walked in her shoes; they had no right to judge her.
"No, I want to. I think it would be good for us. The talk today was cathartic. Hard, but cathartic. It cleared the air, although I'd wager she's still hurt by my decisions."
He heard Gage laugh and looked over. The boy sat between his grandma and grandpa with a heaping bowl of chocolate trifle.
Amber chuckled. "He's going to be wired."
"He called me Dad." His whisper was reverent. It was a moment he'd always remember.
"Last night, he asked when he should call you that. I told him when he felt like it. Obviously, on the losing end of a tickle fight was the right time to call in the big guns." Amber plucked a blade of grass and examined it.
"It would seem." He yanked on her pant leg, drawing her eyes to him. "Thank you. For being here and for trying again."
"Trying again?" Her brows furrowed together.
"To get along with my mom. When we were together, I honestly didn't realize you two were having problems." He sat up and crossed his legs, facing her with only a couple inches of grass between their knees.
"Hindsight being twenty-twenty, it was mostly me. I wanted her to like me so much that I tried to be someone I wasn't. I wasn't comfortable around her or your sisters, and because of it, they weren't comfortable around me."
"Why didn't you say anything?" Brody took her hand in his.
She stared at their connection. "I was afraid of losing you." She gave a humorless chuckle. "And that's exactly what happened, but it wasn't because of my relationship with your family, it was because of my past with my family."
Brody squeezed her hand gently. "Did you ever love me?"
Her eyes rose to his. She nodded and whispered, "I've never stopped loving you."
He held her gaze. So much history to sort through and examine. Maybe too much. "There is so much damage to repair."
A tear slipped down her cheek. "I know."
He swallowed hard as he once again made himself vulnerable to the woman he’d once loved and still cared for. He wiped off the bead as it traveled toward her chin. "Where do we start?"
"I don't know." She reached a trembling hand to his. "Maybe being friends and getting to know each other again?"
Gage shouted from the porch, "Mom! Dad! You want dessert?"
"Your dad does! Just a minute!" Amber called back.
He chuckled. Although moving from this spot was the last thing he wanted, he always enjoyed dessert. "You know me so well."
"I want to know you better."
"We'll need to file paperwork with HR. I don't want this to come back and bite either of us."
"This?"
"Us."
"God, I never thought there would be an us again." She closed her eyes for a moment.
He traced his thumb across her cheek. "I always hoped there would be."
Brody drove up in front of Dawn's house. The front porch light was on.
"I better wake him up." Amber opened the truck door and turned toward Gage.
"Let him sleep. I'll carry him in."
"Are you sure? He's really heavy."
"Yeah, my back reminded me of that today when we scored the tenth touchdown. I've got him. You go open the door." He nodded to the house and slipped from his side of the truck, trotting around the hood of the vehicle to get to the passenger side. He unfastened Gage's buckle and slid him over. "Come on, dude, let's get inside."
"Huh?" Gage's eyes opened slightly. "I can walk."
"Nah, let me give you a lift." He slid the big guy from the seat
and hefted him up. Gage weighed a good eighty to ninety pounds. He was tall and solidly built for a fifth grader. His long legs dangled, and he dropped his head to Brody's shoulder. He was definitely going to have to step up his strength workouts.
Amber had the door opened and pointed down the hall. "First room on the left."
There was enough light from the hall to illuminate his son's room. He smiled at the small desk and single bed. There were posters of superheroes, a two-foot-tall model rocket in one corner, and several model airplanes suspended from the ceiling. He put his son in his bed and watched Amber tug off his shoes, socks and jeans, leaving him in his t-shirt and boxers. She covered their son with a sheet and light blanket before she leaned down and kissed his forehead. She nodded to the door, and they both exited soundlessly. Brody backtracked to the front door.
"Would you like a drink or something?" Amber gazed up at him.
"If I stay, it won't be for a drink." Brody cupped her neck with his hand and placed his forehead against hers. "And I want to stay so damn bad."
"Not a good idea in the living room, but you could get away from here." Dawn's voice split them apart. She stood in the doorway to the kitchen. "What? I was getting a drink of water when you came in."
"Wh-what?" Amber stuttered in her surprise.
"Look, you're adults, right? This isn't rocket science. I'm taking Gage to school in the morning anyway. Go on, head to Brody's and get your freak on. I know you have a travel bag in your SUV. Gage'll think you had to go to work."
"But..." Amber glanced at him.
"It's fast." He'd offer her the out.
Dawn snorted a laugh. "Yeah, what has it been, ten years in the making? God forbid. No, no, you're right. You should wait another ten years, no eleven. The kid will be able to drink then." She walked past them. "I'm going to bed. If you're here in the morning, you’re here. If you’re not, I've got Gage covered. ‘Night."
He lightly wrapped his arms around her waist. "You don't have to make the decision tonight. We have a lot of things to work out."
Amber nodded and shuffled closer. She ran her nose along his neck. "But this isn't one of them, is it? Do you want me as much as I want you?"
Brody (Hope City Book 3) Page 13