by Marci Bolden
Carrie’s cheeks warmed and started to ache at the pull of the enormous smile on her face. Filling a mug with coffee, she fought the urge to tell her mother-in-law that last night had been one of the more amazing nights in recent history. “Or I’m in a great mood. Is that so hard to believe?”
“Honey, nothing puts a blush like that on a woman’s face except a handsome man and a lot of lovemaking.”
“Mama!”
“Well, it’s about time you and Michael got to working on having me a grandchild.”
A cloud as dark as the ones outside instantly loomed over Carrie’s good mood. “We’ll get there, Mama.”
Doreen stopped cutting fruit and focused on Carrie. “Is there a problem? Between you and Mike?”
“No. Everything is fine.”
“I can’t remember the last time I saw the two of you together. He’s always running here, running there. He needs to slow down.”
“Yeah.” Carrie moved to the pantry to get her apron and ingredients for the morning meal. “I thought I’d add fried potatoes to breakfast this morning. How does that sound?”
“Oh, the boys will like that.”
“I’m sure they will.” Carrie sighed, depressed by the reality Doreen had showered upon her.
Chapter 16
Noon had come and gone before Will had a chance to find Carrie and ask her if she was all right. She’d seemed a little off at breakfast, and he’d hardly been able to concentrate while filming, worried that she was regretting the night before.
He’d hoped all morning that he’d read her wrong. He’d barely been able to sleep after walking her to her room. He’d been tempted to sneak in and hold her all night, but he knew that wasn’t an option without even asking.
After showering and heading downstairs, he’d been determined to find a moment to steal a kiss before heading out for the day, but that wasn’t meant to be either. She’d seemed disturbed, giving him a forced smile as she served breakfast, leading him to believe she might be feeling guilty.
Searching the house, he found Doreen in the kitchen with Jenny, teaching the girl how to roll out dough. “Honey, I’m home.”
Doreen feigned a pout. “Oh, you guys are early. I was hoping to have dinner ready for you.”
“That’s all right. I’m not really that hungry yet. Where’s Carrie?”
“I gave her the evening off. We’re cooking dinner tonight.”
“All right.” He grabbed a bottle of water from the fridge. “What are we having?”
“Beef stew in bread bowls.” Mama smiled proudly.
“Yum. So where is Carrie if she isn’t in here elbow-deep in flour?”
“Resting. I made her lie down. She looked exhausted.” Doreen turned her attention back to the dough.
“I’ll let you get back to dinner.” Will headed upstairs, knocked on Carrie’s bedroom door, and opened it when she called out to come in. He found her leaning against the carved walnut headboard of her bed, pretty pillows spilling out from behind her as she read a book. He closed the door behind him. “Hey.”
“Hey. How was your day?”
“Apparently, harder than yours.”
She chuckled as he sat next to her. “Mama insisted that I take some time off. Who am I to argue with that?”
“Who, indeed?” Leaning in, he hesitated, but when she met him halfway, he kissed her firmly on the lips. “Are you okay?”
“I’m great.” She put a bookmark between the pages of her novel before closing it.
“You seemed upset this morning. I was a little worried.”
Carrie sighed heavily. “Mama ruined my mood, that’s all.”
“What happened?”
“Just her delusions,” she said dismissively. “Tell me about your day. Was Donnie better?”
“Marginally.”
“I feel like it’s my fault he’s acting like a jerk.”
He ran his hand over her thigh. “It isn’t. He’s always a jerk. Can we not talk about Donnie right now?”
A smirk curved her lips. “What would you rather talk about?”
“Your mother-in-law is completely enthralled by her dinner preparations.”
“And?”
He moved his hand higher. “I think we need to go for a run.”
“A run?”
“I want to be alone with you.”
“I like the sound of that.” Carrie smiled. “Meet you downstairs in ten?”
“It’s a date.”
Going into his room, he found a pair of running shorts and a T-shirt, hurriedly dressed, and then splashed cologne on his cheeks.
By the time Carrie came into the kitchen, looking like she’d put in as much effort to get ready for their run, Will was sitting at the island, drinking a bottle of water and talking to Doreen about dinner.
“Are you ready?”
“Are you off to exercise again?” Mama asked.
“It’s my fault,” Will said. “I hate running alone.”
“I have to work off dinner before I eat it,” Carrie said. “I’ll be back in time to help you finish up.”
“I’m not worried about that. I’m worried about you wearing yourself out. You should be resting.”
Carrie dismissed her concerns with a smile. “We won’t be long.”
Will walked with her out of the house, feeling a bit guilty for causing Doreen concern. “Should we tell her we’re sneaking off to be alone so she won’t worry about you?”
“Somehow I don’t think that would be any easier for her.”
Picking up his pace to a trot, Will resisted the urge to reach out and grab her until they were far enough down the trail to be out of view. Pulling her against him, he kissed her on the lips. “You have no idea how disappointing it was to wake up without you.”
“Oh, I think I might.”
“I was worried that your bad mood this morning was regret.”
Stepping out of his arms, she entwined her fingers with his and started down the path again. “Mama had one of her Mike delusions. It knocked the wind out of my sails.”
“You had wind in your sails?”
She blushed and smiled widely. “I had a lot of wind in my sails.”
“Me too.”
“Good.”
“Last night was amazing.”
“It was.” She hugged him around his waist as they turned off the path a few minutes later. Stepping inside the cabin, Carrie looked at the little bed and couldn’t help the fluttering low in her belly. They’d made love on that bed, and neither seemed capable of pretending that they weren’t here to do the same thing again.
“Once they’re done shooting here”—Will closed the door behind him—“I think we’re going to have to invest in a twin-size bed for our hideaway.”
“That cot is a bit cozy, isn’t it?”
“Just a bit.”
“Not necessarily a bad thing, is it?”
Putting his hands on her hips, he used them to steer her directly to the bed and stretched out on his side so they both could fit on the small mattress. Will ran his fingertips down her arm, smiling at the way goosebumps rose on her flesh. “Not completely.”
“I kind of like it,” she whispered, her lips brushing against his.
“You want to keep it?”
“Maybe.”
“Whatever you want.”
“Whatever?” she mumbled against his lips.
“Whatever.”
Carrie kissed him thoroughly before pulling back enough for her to look into his eyes as she ran her fingers over his cheek. “I may hold you to that.”
Within moments, the passion between them flared and she was lying on top of him, her legs straddling his hips as he pushed her shirt over her head. When their clothes had been discarded, Will tucked her beneath him, promising with his eyes all the things he didn’t dare put into words.
Carrie had to admit that she didn’t mind having guests after Donnie’s troop went to stay at another inn. In fact, she was actually
enjoying the company as she, Mama, Will, and Grant played their second game of Scrabble on a Friday evening.
Will grinned as he set out all of his letters and let out a triumphant whoop.
“That is not a word,” Carrie insisted when Will started counting up his total.
“Actually, it is.” Grant frowned.
“How do you even say that?” Doreen asked.
“Omnidirectional,” Will read. “It’s like, equal all around.”
“Like, equal all around,” Carrie repeated and then frowned as she found his word in the dictionary. “Omnidirectional: sending or receiving in all directions.”
“Oh, booger,” Mama said, making everyone laugh.
“That puts me in the lead,” Will taunted.
“Don’t get too comfortable, Michael,” Mama told him playfully. “There is no way you are winning this game.”
Carrie’s heart dropped to her stomach when Mama called Will Michael, but she’d hoped she’d misheard. She hadn’t. She could tell by the way Will’s mouth was hanging half-open. Looking at Grant, Carrie found he had the same horrified look.
The mood around the table shifted with that one word. Carrie’s eyes glazed over with unshed tears, and Grant shifted uncomfortably. Mama was the only one who hadn’t noticed how her words had affected everyone else.
Despite the altered mood, they finished the game. Once all the tiles had been played, Will confirmed that he’d won. Mama started to clean up, but Carrie looked at Will.
“Let the guys clean up,” Carrie said. “We need to start dinner, Mama.”
Mama chuckled as she stood. “Winner should have to clean up anyway.”
“We’ve got this,” Will said.
Carrie led Mama to the kitchen, but her mind was a million miles away. As Mama looked at the menu on the wall, determining what they’d planned for dinner, Carrie silently hoped that something would click in Mama’s head and she’d remember Mike was gone. She’d hoped Mama would realize Will wasn’t Mike. That Will was someone else—someone Carrie was coming to care for—and then things could somehow be normal.
She’d hoped a lot of things. It hadn’t done a damn bit of good.
As they’d played the game, Doreen called Will by the wrong name several times. The guilt twisted in Carrie’s gut each time. By the time they finished making the baked chicken dish for dinner, Carrie was ready to get Mama off to bed. She’d sat through dinner faking smiles and doing her best to pay attention, but the only thing she’d heard was when Mama once again referred to Will as Mike.
Carrie was emotionally drained by the time she finally did manage to get Doreen into bed. She was tempted to go straight to bed herself, but she and Will needed to talk about this change in Doreen’s perceived reality.
“Hey,” Will said when she walked into the kitchen. She noticed the wine on the counter and went straight for a glass, taking a long drink. “Carrie,” Will warned as she gulped. “Stop. Slow down or you’ll get sick.”
She set the glass down and shook her head at him. “I don’t know what to do. I don’t. I don’t know how to make her see that you are not Mike.”
“Take it easy.” He rounded the island and put his hands on her shoulders. “It’s been a long day. We’re exhausted. Let’s not worry about this until tomorrow.”
She shook her head. “Do you really think it will be any better tomorrow?”
“It might be. Maybe whatever clicked in her mind today will be reset when she wakes up.”
“Right.” She sighed.
“Come here.” He pulled her into his arms.
She cursed quietly as she buried her face into his chest. “I hate this so much.”
“There is nothing we can do to fix it,” Will said. “Let’s focus on making the most of what we have, okay?”
Leaning back, she furrowed her brow. “Oh, God. You’ve been reading up on the support groups again.”
“Just making sure I know what to say.”
Laughing lightly, she held his gaze. “You don’t have to say anything. This is exactly what I need.”
“You want to sit outside for a while?”
She shook her head. “Not tonight. I’m so drained.”
“Okay.” He put his arm around her shoulder. “Let me tuck you in.”
The relief she felt at his understanding was almost enough to make her crumble. For the first time in a very long time, she felt like she had someone she could lean on. Yes, she could depend on Natalie to help with Mama and running the inn on occasion. And she could count on her dad if there was a busted pipe or a tree that needed cutting down, but this was different. Counting on Will was different. The bond they’d forged was intimate, and not because of the sex.
More than anyone else, she’d come to count on him and his emotional support. Part of her felt that wasn’t fair to him, but she was really good at ignoring that part. She was really good at ignoring anything that made her second-guess the time they were spending together. She needed him more than she was willing to admit, even to herself.
“Will you stay with me for a while?” she asked as they started up the stairs.
“As long as you like.”
“Until I fall asleep.”
Putting his hands on her hips, he guided her into her bedroom before easing the door shut and following her to the bed.
Guilt again tugged at her as she looked at the picture resting on her nightstand. Mike had his arm around her, pulling her close as they smiled at the camera. She reached out and laid the photo facedown as Will curled behind her.
“Do you think we’d get along?” Will asked.
She chuckled. “Probably. He was quite the prankster. I think you guys would have given each other a run for your money. He was a handful.”
“There was a lot of laughter in your marriage.”
“Yes,” she said as she stretched out beside him. “There was. This house used to be filled with laughter. It’s sad really, how quiet things are now.” Rolling over, she rested her head on his arm and slipped her hand under his shirt so she could run her fingers over his skin. “I feel like I’m betraying her somehow,” Carrie confessed on a whisper.
“What do you mean?
“She thinks that you’re Mike. Letting her believe that somehow feels like I’m cheating her of something.”
“Of what?”
“I don’t know. Reality, I guess.” She closed her eyes tightly. “I know that I lie to her all the time, but this seems different.”
“Maybe because now you’re not only telling her a lie, you’re living it.”
“So are you.” Carrie leaned up so she could look into his eyes. “I’m sorry. This must be incredibly unsettling for you.”
“It is, but I get it.” He ran his hand over her hair. “She has Alzheimer’s, Carrie. She’s not being malicious.”
“I know, but… I should have corrected her. I was too shocked, but I should have snapped out of it and corrected her.”
He shook his head. “No. Not unless you think that’s what’s best for her. I can take it. You have to do what’s right for her.”
Stroking his face, she whispered, “Thank you.” Lowering her head, she said, “Maybe you’re right. Maybe tomorrow will be better.”
Chapter 17
When Carrie awoke the next morning, alone in her bed, she held on to the hope that Doreen would be back to recognizing Will.
With an apron over her clothes, she pulled out a bowl and got to working on blueberry pancakes before the kitchen was invaded. She’d just finished the first batch when Mama came down, dressed and ready for the day.
“It’s chilly this morning,” Doreen said. “First snow will be falling before too long.”
Will came in behind her. “I hope not.”
Turning, Doreen smiled at him and there was a dramatic pause as Carrie waited for her response.
“Is your daddy up yet?” she asked him.
Carrie’s mood spiraled downward. “Mama,” she said sadly, “can y
ou slice some fruit?”
“Of course, dear. What would you like?”
“Whatever.” Carrie looked at Will, wanting nothing more than to lean into him and let him make her feel better.
She resisted, even though she suspected Doreen wouldn’t have thought twice about it.
It was after lunch before Carrie had a chance to be alone with Will. He was in the den, reading his script, when she came down from helping Doreen get settled in for her afternoon rest. He looked up and smiled when he found her leaning against the doorframe watching him.
“She asleep?” he asked.
“Yeah.”
“How are you?”
“Exhausted.”
“You should sleep too, then.”
She shook her head and crossed the room. “No amount of sleep could make me feel better.”
She sat next to him, and he pulled her with him as he leaned back on the couch. He wrapped her in his arms and held her tight. His hand rhythmically stroked her back, gently, softly, slowly. She closed her eyes as she snuggled against him. Finally, for the first time all day, she was able to relax.
When Carrie opened her eyes again, it took several moments for her to realize she was in the den, curled up against a warm body that was snoring softly. She slowly eased back, verifying that it was Will rumbling beneath her. After wiping her face to make sure she wasn’t drooling, Carrie shook him gently. “Hey.”
“Hey.”
“I think we dozed off.”
“Apparently.” He grunted as he sat up and then looked at his watch. “Shit. It’s almost four o’clock.”
“We slept for two hours? I’d better check on Mama.”
“Hey,” he said before she could get off the couch. “I finally got to wake up with you.”
“So you did.” Carrie smiled as she pushed herself up. Climbing the stairs, she brushed her hands over her hair and her face. Taking a breath, she pushed the door to Doreen’s room open and her smile fell. “Mama?” Walking to the bathroom, she found it as empty as the bed. “Oh no,” she whispered. She trotted downstairs, calling out for Doreen.
Will met her at the foot of the steps. “What’s wrong?”
“She’s not upstairs.”