"Are we still going to hash the Lydia thing around? Do you have some unresolved issues about this?" Ella set the second bag of groceries in the empty lawn chair, pulled a beer from the pail, and opened it with the opener he had sitting on the bucket. She took a long hefty swig and wiped her mouth with the back of her hand. She deserved to be good and drunk too if this was what he was going to put her through. Once upon a time she could drink to keep up with him. She sure as hell could do it again.
"You're jealous," he scoffed as he finished the beer he'd been working on then tossed the bottle into a box near the trailer and opened another.
"Right. I'm jealous of a woman who turned you down."
"I could have stayed in her bed. She's the one that asked me to have sex with her. Yet, I still turn out to be the bad guy."
Ella, trying to let the comment pass before she reacted, finished her beer, tossed the empty, and followed Gerald’s example by opening another too. "And you think all of this is happening to you because Phillip is mad that she asked you to bed instead of him?"
"He's had a stick up his ass for the Walkers for a long time. He'd always have sided with a Morgan long before a Walker."
"Ah, all I've ever known is him saving your asses. And as for the Morgan in his life, it doesn't look as if she's too interested in him."
Gerald laughed a hearty laugh and drank down half the beer in his hand. "The point is, she didn't want me at all. She didn't want to have sex with me, even though she said if we had, she wouldn't have regretted it."
"Great."
"She lives to make Phillip miserable."
"Noble job," Ella scoffed as she took another long and satisfying pull of her beer.
"Is that what you enjoy? Making me miserable? Like Lydia and Phillip. Did you enjoy my misery?"
She figured he was drunker than she'd first assessed, but now he was looking for a fight. Well, she'd give him one. She could hold her own, and she'd seen him drunk before. He'd more than likely end up in a corner crying than to attack her physically, so she matched his long pull from his beer, finished hers, and tossed the empty into the box where he'd thrown his before opening another.
"No. I didn't enjoy your misery, and I didn't enjoy mine either. Do you think I turned you down and partied my way out of your life?"
"Sure I do. You partied yourself right into Jacob Young's bed."
The word was emphasized, and the desire to smack him right across the face nearly took over the controls of her body, but she eased back.
"Screw you," she shouted and took another beer from the pail. "You don't know what I was going through right then. I had plans, and I got scared. Have you ever in your life been scared, Gerald Walker? Have you?"
"I'm scared that they're going to throw my ass in jail for something I didn't do."
"Then you understand it."
"No. No, I don't understand. I don't understand breaking the heart of the man you love and running away."
"I don't understand it either," she choked out the words, opened the beer, and drank again. "I don't know what made me tell you no except that I was scared of becoming an adult with adult responsibilities. What if we'd gotten married and gotten pregnant? What if I couldn't finish my degree or the first firm wouldn't take me?"
"You married Jacob."
"Because I was lonely and I knew I'd messed up the best thing in my life by turning you away." Her entire world began to spin, and she argued with him as the sun started to set in the sky. "I've never loved anyone as much as I love you. I know you didn't kill those women, or I'd have turned your ass over just as I would hope you'd turn mine over if I ever did anything that hurt someone—more than a broken heart that is," she shook off the buzz that caused her sentences not to make sense. It had been a lot of years since she’d slammed beers, and she was sure she’d be paying for it.
"I was the best thing in your life?" His words slurred too, and Ella blinked hard to bring him into focus.
"Yes. I messed up. People get scared, and they mess up. Sometimes they mess up really good. I messed up really good," she admitted as the words strung together. "If you want me gone again, I'll leave. I'll take my salad mix, and I'll get out of your life. Forever. And ever," she promised as she pulled from her beer again and let it swim in her head.
"You brought salad mix?"
"Yeah, I need something healthy to go with the Oreos I brought you."
His expression softened, and he smiled from one side of his mouth. "And milk."
"Of course, you ass. You like it that way."
Gerald stumbled toward her and hooked one arm around her waist pulling her against him. "I'm drunk."
"I know."
"So are you now. Lightweight."
She brushed her forehead against his chest. "I am a lightweight. I hate you as much as I love you," she affirmed as she eased back to look at him.
"That's how I like it. I'm not hungry for food. Let's go get naked."
Ella leaned against him again. "My head is spinning."
"You drank too fast."
"I had to catch up. I think I need to eat first."
"You're boring," he joked as he gathered the bag he'd laid down. "I could go for some cookies."
Chapter 22
They'd eaten enough to absorb most of the alcohol. They'd gone one more round over sleeping with Lydia and what she really meant to Gerald. And they'd had their first bout of sex right on the floor because they couldn't make it to the bed.
As Ella laid in his bed early the next morning, sure that she wasn't going to make it to work, she contemplated the rollercoaster of emotions that she'd gone through in the past few hours. She and Gerald always argued, and they always ended up right where they were now, entangled in one another's arms confessing their love.
She did love him, too. Like a drug she couldn't get enough of, Gerald Walker was her fix. Only now, she never wanted to take the chance that he wouldn't be there for her.
"Gerald, wake up." She shook him until his eyes fluttered.
He immediately clamped his hand over his face to block out the sunlight. "Christ, what?"
"Wake up."
"I'm awake. What time is it?"
"Six."
He sat up quickly and scrubbed his hands over his face. "Eric hasn't been out here yet to wake me up? Damn, I'm late."
"Wait. I have to talk to you."
"Talk," he said as he picked up the shirt he'd discarded on the floor and pulled it on.
"Marry me, Gerald."
He sat for a moment, his back to her. Nerves stirred with the last bit of alcohol that lingered in Ella's stomach and made her sick. He was going to tell her no. Or worse yet, he wasn't going to say anything.
Finally, Gerald turned to her. "You're going to be late for work."
"Did you hear me?"
Gerald slowly nodded. "Yeah, I heard you."
Ella bit down on her bottom lip so hard she was sure she could taste blood. Pulling the sheet up around her naked body, she fought back the tears that threatened. "Okay then."
Inching off the bed, she searched for her clothes. The tears had broken through now.
She was an idiot to think that would have worked. It was stupid to have said that, especially after they'd tied one on and after the few weeks he'd had. The last thing he needed was her asking him to marry him.
Yanking on the slacks and the blouse she'd worn out to his house, she searched for her pumps. Screw it. She had a closet full of nice shoes and suits. She'd just drive home and put on another one, she decided as she brushed away tears that rolled down her cheeks.
With her blouse buttoned crooked, one shoe and her suit jacket in the crook of her arm, she started out the door.
"Ella. Ella, wait," Gerald called from behind her as she stumbled over the rocky dirt in her bare feet.
He was swifter. Gerald moved in between her and the car door in only his unbuttoned jeans, stopping her from opening it.
"You are the most stubborn woman I have ev
er met," he claimed as he ran his hand over his messed hair.
"Get out of my way, Gerald."
"Settle down, will ya?" He reached his hand to her face and brushed away the tears that fell. "You're a mess."
"Go to hell," she bit out through gritted teeth.
Gerald laughed. "Perhaps this is how it should have been all along."
Ella caught a glance of herself in the reflection of the window. Her makeup blackened her eyes, and her hair—well there were no words. She was a mess.
"Can I go now? I just want to go."
He smiled, and in the dirt, barefooted and bare chested, Gerald knelt down in front of her.
"You took my glory away once, you don't get to do it again." He reached into the front pocket of his jeans and pulled out a ring—her ring. "Ella Mills, I've loved you since I was a teenager. I've mourned you most of my adult life. I'm better when you're with me. Everything that has been going on in my life would have driven me to the brink of insanity, but all along I've known that in the end you'll be here this time. I was kind of waiting until this all blew over. I wanted to take you away, maybe even Hawaii, and do this on a beach. But, knee in the dirt without my shirt or shoes on, this will work too. Ella, marry me."
Ella covered her mouth with her free hand and let the tears roll down her cheeks. Mascara burned her eyes, but she couldn't stop it now. "Gerald, you saved my ring."
"Of course I did. It's your ring. Made for you. Always for you."
Ella reached out her trembling hand and Gerald took it. "Is this yes?"
She couldn't form the word now. Her throat was clogged with tears. Instead, she nodded until he slid the ring on her finger.
"This time it's forever, Ella. No take backs," he said on a laugh as he stood and gathered her in his arms. "I love you. I promise you so much more than what's before you right now. Your career can come before we have a family. Whatever time you need. I just want you, Ella."
"Shut up," she demanded as she dropped her shoe and jacket to the dirt, rose on her bare toes and kissed the man until she thought the spinning in her head might make her pass out.
She was engaged. She was in love. She was as drunk on happiness as she'd been on the beer.
* * *
Gerald figured the proposal in the dirt, half dressed, and Ella with makeup staining her face was appropriate for them. Nothing had ever gone exactly as planned when it came to the two of them, why should this be any different.
He'd never even considered selling the ring he'd had made for her so many years earlier. As far as he'd been concerned, it was always hers.
Holding the woman that would be his wife close to him filled the holes that had surfaced in him over the years. Nothing could take the happiness of the moment away from him, he thought as he heard the sound of tires on gravel racing toward them.
Eric, he figured, finally deciding to come and wake him up, but when the truck came into view over the hill it wasn't Eric's. He was certain the truck was Phillip Smythe's personal truck.
As Phillip skidded to a stop just feet from them, Gerald pulled Ella out of the way and tucked her behind him.
He could already see the fury in Phillip's eyes as he climbed from the truck and swiftly moved to him, his hand balled into a fist that pulled back and cracked Gerald right in the jaw when executed.
Gerald stumbled back, taking Ella with him.
"What in the hell is your…" The words were cut short as Phillip took another swing, this time knocking Gerald to the ground.
The metallic taste of blood filled his mouth as he struggled to get to his feet before Phillip landed another punch. This time though, Ella had stepped in between them, and thankfully Phillip hadn't pushed her out of the way.
Gerald managed to his knee before looking up at Phillip, whose fists were ready to go again.
"You've lost your freaking mind! What in the hell are you doing out here? I didn't invite you, and you're not in uniform, which means your trespassing, so get the hell off my property!" Gerald's voice rose as he did.
"Where's your truck?"
"At the barn where it was towed and Eric told me to leave it."
"It was at Lydia's house all night, you son-of-a-bitch!" Phillip took one more step, and Gerald met that step with his own.
Ella held up her hands and warded them both apart. "You boys are being asses. Now settle down." She turned to Phillip. "Once again, he wasn't anywhere but here. I have been with him all night long. All-night-long," she said as she held up her hand and showed him the ring that sparkled on it. "Enough said. He's not sleeping with Lydia or anyone else for that matter. Now take your jealous heart and…"
"She's gone, asshole," Phillip spat out the words. "Your truck is in the driveway and Lydia is gone and so is her car."
Gerald wiped the blood from his mouth with the back of his hand. "I can't even imagine what you're trying to tell me. I told you. My truck is at the barn. Head down and check for yourself and ask Eric."
"I did," Phillip admitted as they heard more vehicles coming up over the hill.
Just as Phillip had done, Eric and Russell both skidded to a stop inches from one another and jumped out of their trucks.
"Damnit, Phillip, I told you I'd talk to him," Eric said as he hurried to put himself between them. "Did you punch him? You've lost your mind."
"That's what I told him," Gerald interjected.
Phillip loosened his fists and then balled them back up. "His truck isn't at the barn, it's at Lydia's house."
Eric turned too Gerald. "He's right. It's not at the barn."
Gerald moved to his brother, and again Ella eased him back. "What the hell do you mean it's not there? I left it there."
"You did," Eric agreed. "But this morning when Phillip got there, I looked. It's not there."
Gerald could feel the blood drain from his head. "I don't know what's going on. I didn't drive it anywhere. I haven't seen Lydia for a few days."
Phillip ran his hand over the top of his head. "All I know is your truck is in her driveway, and her car is not. I went to the door and she didn't answer. I went to the back door and it was unlocked, and she never does that. I went in and…"
Ella moved to Phillip and took his hand. "Phillip, what happened?"
Gerald saw the tears in Phillip's eyes. This man who had seen the best and worst of mankind had seen something to terrify him. Now he moved to Phillip.
"What happened?"
"Her house is torn up. Like there was a struggle. The bed is a mess. Chairs are overturned. Knives in the kitchen are…" He couldn't go on.
Gerald's first reaction was to condemn the man who usually held it together. Why had Phillip driven forty-five minutes to punch him in the face instead of calling in his own people to search for Lydia? But when Ella turned to him, her eyes filled with tears, he understood it.
Phillip was just a man in love with a woman. All sense was gone when that woman was gone.
Chapter 23
Gerald and Russell had managed to get Phillip to sit down, and Ella made him a cup of coffee. Eric put in a call to the police station.
His face was long when he'd turned around from his truck and walked back to where the rest of them fussed over Phillip.
"I'm going to drive you back into town," Eric told Phillip. "They have deputies already at Lydia's. A neighbor had called in strange activity, including Gerald's truck in the yard." He ran his hand over his chin and took in a breath. "Steven Cross and Kane Evans' trucks were both reported stolen this morning. Both have been found in the driveways of two other women, who are also missing."
Ella put her hand to her stomach. "I think I'm going to be sick."
Gerald reached for her and touched her arm.
"What can we do?" he asked Eric.
"I'm going to take Phillip into town. You two follow me out there. Russell, you make sure Chelsea, Susan, and the kids are safe at Mom and Dad's. Pearl already texted and said that she and Audrey were headed to the Bridal Mecca. She is goin
g to let the police in to go through the reception hall. She said Lydia had a meeting there after lunch yesterday."
Ella nodded. "She said she was showing someone the venue."
"Phillip, this is personal now. We all are in. You got it?"
Phillip nodded. "I will kill the son-of-a-bitch that hurts her," he ordered.
Gerald nodded. "We will all back you up."
* * *
Ella held on to the inside of the door of her BMW as Gerald sped down the dirt road toward town.
"You killing us both isn't going to help Lydia," she shouted as he hit a rut and the car bounced her around.
"I'm with Phillip. I'll kill the SOB with my own bare hands if I have to."
"Lydia is strong. She's going to be okay."
"Yeah, I'm sure the other women thought they were going to be okay too. Goddamnit!" He slapped his steering wheel. "Why didn't Phillip go right after them? I mean, hell, he had enough time to drive out and punch me in the fricking face?" He rubbed his jaw where Phillip had landed the first punch.
"He's distraught. I see it all the time. People don't do what they're trained to do when it becomes personal."
"He sure as hell should have acted on it."
She reached for Gerald's hand. "He knew his team was on it. For one moment he could mourn what had happened. He’s going to find her. We're going to find her," she promised.
Gerald squeezed her hand, but it reached right into her heart. She wasn't going to rehash the Gerald and Lydia thing again. She'd been put in her place enough times, she decided. But how personal was this, she wondered? Did his feelings go deeper than friendship?
The vile thought made her even sicker. She shouldn't even be thinking like that. This wasn't about her. This was about Lydia who could be going through hell at that very moment.
Tears quickly came, and they poured down her cheeks.
"Why are you crying?" Gerald asked as he shifted a look from the road to her and back again.
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