Chapter Seven
Saved by the Bell
Neil heard his name being called, from what seemed a great distance away.
“Neil!” the voice called, drifting toward him, as if winding its way down a long tunnel, bouncing and echoing upon its surfaces. “Neil, are you paying attention?”
With a start, Neil lurched awake. He was met with a brief moment of confusion, as he struggled to remember where he was. His elbow swept to one side, and knocked his textbook off of his desk, where it landed upon the classroom floor with a remarkably loud noise: Thwack!
“Yep, I’m here,” Neil assured his teacher, as if he had been paying the utmost attention. He discreetly wiped a bit of drool from his chin, as he blinked his eyes in rapid succession and retrieved his textbook. “I’m ready! What’s the question?”
His fifth grade teacher, Ms. Waffler, strode over to his desk. She jingled and jangled as she approached, for she wore a great assortment of bracelets, necklaces, and odd doodads. Beads, and bells, and charms of all sorts shook and sounded from the motion of her limbs. Her clothing was brightly colored and featured an astonishing array of patterns.
Atop her head, there was an incredible, frizzy mass of brown hair, which was adorned with all manner of pastel-colored clips and devices. Neil had theorized that his teacher’s hair might even be home to a bird or two.
Ms. Waffler was an odd duck, to be sure. She had what Coach referred to as a distinctly New Age vibe. Neil wasn’t entirely sure what that meant, but what he did know was that Ms. Waffler was a universally adored weirdo.
Students and parents alike appreciated her innate ability to teach in a method that was effective for the children in her classroom. And she brought a wonderful energy with her, which was infectious and inspiring. Her eyes were always bright with interest, and her voice could not hide the excitement she felt when presenting a lesson.
Neil liked his teacher as much as everyone else did, and he knew he was lucky to be in her class. He felt somewhat embarrassed to have dozed off. The last thing he wanted was for Ms. Waffler to think that she was doing a bad job teaching, and failing to keep his attention.
Ms. Waffler looked down at Neil, and studied him with her bright eyes. There was no disapproval in her expression, but a great deal of concern. She glanced at Jack, and saw that he also had puffy eyes and the look of a sleep-deprived boy.
“I don’t know what kind of mischief you kids get up to at night. You need to get more sleep, I tell you!”
“Yes, Ms. Waffler,” Jack answered dutifully. “I’m sorry… we’ll try to do better.”
“Yep,” Neil confirmed, as he fought back a yawn. “I’m sorry, Ms. Waffler. We’ll pay attention, I promise.”
“Well, I’m happy to hear that,” their teacher said. She smiled down at the sleepy boys. “The things you learn in school might come in handy some day, you know.”
Neil and Jack nodded respectfully, and began scribbling in their notebooks. Of course, neither one of them had any idea where they were in their current lesson, so they had to improvise. Jack was sketching doodles of the contraptions he imagined might be in Lefty’s basement, while Neil was brainstorming ideas for a Nibbler-powered go-kart.
“I see you’re taking notes, Neil?” Ms. Waffler asked.
“Yes, ma’am!” Neil answered proudly.
Ms. Waffler peered down at the notebook on Neil’s desk, and tilted her head. “Hmm… you know, that looks like some sort of four-wheeled mobile, Neil. And it seems to be piloted by what looks to be… a dog, wearing aviator goggles.”
As the classroom erupted in giggles, Neil tried to recover from his blunder. “Oh, that? Nah, that’s nothing!”
He peered up at the whiteboard and began to hurriedly scribble notes from the lesson, picking up his lost spot as best he could. Ms. Waffler turned away with a quiet chuckle. With her back to the class, she began her return to the whiteboard, jingling and jangling as she went.
It was at that time, when the teacher’s eyes were averted from her students, that Neil was struck in the back of his head with a crumpled ball of paper.
He turned to see Jebediah Cragglemeister, snickering at his desk in the very back of the classroom. Jebediah was the resident galoot of Ms. Waffler’s class, and having stayed behind one year in school, this was actually his second go-round with this particular teacher.
Quite pleased with himself, he heaved with silent laughter, while wagging a disapproving finger at Neil and Jack. His laughter, however, was cut off when he was struck in his own noggin by a crumpled ball of paper.
It was a harmless act, but it drew laughter from the students who sat near Jebediah, which of course infuriated him. He turned toward the culprit. On the other side of the classroom, Sara Fresco, pitcher for the Green Beans, beamed at Jebediah, displaying her every tooth in a brilliant smile. Her coffee-colored ponytail bobbed atop her head, as she giggled at Jebediah’s reaction.
At the sound of the laughter, Ms. Waffler turned toward the students. “What’s going on back there?” she demanded. She saw Jebediah glowering at his classmates and shaking his fist in the air, fuming and sputtering as he did so. “Mr. Cragglemeister, what are you up to? Are you causing a disruption again?”
“I was…” Jebediah struggled for words. “I’ve been unfairly targeted! Yeah, that’s what’s happening here!”
The children of the classroom burst into laughter at this outlandish suggestion. It was preposterous to propose that Jebediah, the school bully, was a victim. He turned his head this way and that, glowering at all those who dared to giggle at his expense.
“Oh, really?” Ms. Waffler asked. She seemed skeptical. This being the second year with Jebediah in her classroom, she was well versed in his antics. “Please, go on, Mr. Cragglemeister.”
Jebediah rubbed at the back of his melon, where he had been struck by the ball of paper. He pointed this way and that, sputtering as he did so, but he remained unable to articulate an adequate defense. Ms. Waffler watched him with a raised eyebrow, and the inkling of a smile tugged at the corner of her mouth.
Before Jebediah could dig himself into an even deeper hole, however, he was saved by the bell. The loud ringing that met the end of each school day erupted, and all the students launched from their desks, scrambling for the exit.
The Green Beans, Volume 2: The Strange Genius of Lefty O'Houlihan Page 7