Chapter Ten
The Janitor’s Inspection
“Hey, that’s not even close to accurate, Jasper!” Sara shouted. “You ought to take that back!”
Jasper chuckled at the very notion of apology. He laughed as though it were the funniest thing he had heard in quite some time. The corncob pipe shifted from one side of his mouth to the other, clacking between his teeth.
“Like father, like son,” he said. “There’s no telling what kind of trouble you might get up to, so I’ve got to keep my eye on you.”
Jasper’s bear-like paws made the backpack look like a tiny thing. In order to free up both hands, he temporarily placed his mahogany broom against a nearby wall. Parting from his trusty broom, the Beans wondered? This was a very rare occurrence, indeed.
His massive hands, festooned with knuckles the size of walnuts and scars of varying depths, pawed through the contents of Jack’s backpack. He pulled things from within, and all sorts of odds and ends tumbled onto the floor. Pencils, and pens, and erasers; loose sheets of paper and homework assignments.
And then, there fell from the backpack, Jack’s baseball glove. It landed upon the glossy tile of the school hallway, settling upon the floor.
“Hmmm,” Jasper grumbled. “What have we here?”
“Hey, that’s my glove!” Jack protested.
“You shouldn’t just toss that on the floor!” Maria added.
“Yeah,” Sara said. “What gives you the right?”
“What gives me the right? How dare you ask that of me! I am the school janitor, and you will pay me respect!” Jasper boomed.
“Say, what’s that behind you?” Neil asked, pointing to the doorway from which Jasper had emerged. “What exactly is in that room?”
Jasper dared a brief glance over his shoulder. “That’s my office, boy. Never you mind that!”
“Office?” Sara asked. She exchanged a dubious look with her friends, before pointing out the obvious: “Looks more like a broom closet.”
It was true, my astute reader. What lay beyond the doorway was nothing more than a small, windowless room. It was lined with neat shelves, implements of cleaning, and bottles of solution. A dim, greenish light illuminated the room, flickering from time to time. But as sparse and utilitarian as it may have been, this was a home away from home for Jasper.
“A broom closet?” Jasper bellowed. “How dare you? You ungrateful, miserable punks!”
“Say, I’ve never been in here before,” Maria said, as she meandered closer to the open door.
“Get back from there!” Jasper demanded. He retrieved his mahogany broom from where he had rested it against the wall, and swept it from side to side with defensive vigor. “Children are forbidden from entering my office! What’s gotten into the lot of you?”
“Lighten up, Mr. Cragglemeister,” Neil suggested. “It’s just a bunch of brooms and cleaning supplies.”
It was at this time that Ms. Waffler fortuitously emerged from her classroom, whistling an upbeat tune to herself. She had her brightly colored jacket on, and there were many bells upon it that jangled as she moved. Her handbag (which had been fashioned to resemble a giant slice of watermelon) was slung over one shoulder, and she was preparing to depart for the day.
“Oh, hello!” she exclaimed, as she closed the door to her classroom, and saw the four children and the janitor, in the otherwise deserted hallway. “What’s all this, then?”
Jasper reflexively turned his head toward Ms. Waffler, and it was at this brief moment that the Beans took advantage of his distraction.
“See ya tomorrow, Ms. Waffler!” Neil called, as he darted forward, lightning-quick.
Before Jasper could react, Neil had snatched the backpack from his grasp, and was sprinting down the hallway with his prize in hand.
“Hey!” Jasper shouted, as his head whipped back toward Neil. “You rascally punk!”
Jasper lunged forth with his considerable reach and tried to grab Neil, but his quarry was already well on his way down the hallway. Neil hooted and squawked with delight, laughing as he ran.
“Woo-hoo!” Neil called.
He held the backpack above his head with one hand, like a trophy. Neil waved it about for the benefit of the cantankerous janitor, who was quickly left behind.
Snarling like the bear that he was so often likened to, Jasper turned back toward the remaining Beans, as Neil ran willy-nilly down the hallway. Jasper saw Maria dive into a roll before him, and he instinctively reached for her.
But he was too slow, for Maria evaded him, and somersaulted across the floor. She scooped up Jack’s fallen glove, and secured it in her hands, cradling it against her body as if it were precious cargo. She launched herself from the tile, and scrambled down the hallway, close behind Neil.
“Not today, Jasper!” she called over her shoulder.
“Curse you, you infernal children!” Jasper bellowed. “This isn’t over!”
“Save it, Cragglemeister!” Sara cried, as she joined Jack, sprinting down the hallway after her friends.
“Hey! No running in the halls!” Jasper called after the Beans, shaking his broom at them. “You’ll scuff my beautiful floors! Curse you, whippersnappers… This isn’t over!”
The Green Beans, Volume 2: The Strange Genius of Lefty O'Houlihan Page 10