Chapter Twenty-Four
The Nemesis Returns
Jack and Nibbler kept close to Lefty, and soon enough, they had raced back through the torch-lit passageway, chasing after Jasper. They emerged in the parlor, between the fireplace and the bookshelf that had previously swung aside to reveal the hidden door.
The parlor was in far different condition than when they had left it just a few minutes earlier. Now, there was a huge mess of broken wood, busted furniture, and piles of plaster dust in the center of the room’s floor.
The strange aviator had plummeted through the roof, through the attic, through the second story, and through the ceiling of the first floor. He had struck like a meteor, finally coming to rest on the floor of the parlor, amid the heap of wreckage he had caused.
Jack could not see the features of the man on the floor, for he was largely concealed by dust, his jetpack, and what appeared to be a rather fanciful cape. Beneath the rubble, he could be heard groaning and mumbling to himself, as he rubbed at his noggin.
Jasper had emerged in the parlor mere moments before Jack, Lefty, and Nibbler had. The surly janitor now rushed forth, and began to help the fallen figure. Using his powerful arms, he tossed aside pieces of lumber and building materials, and finally pulled the man up.
The strange, caped figure staggered to his feet, although it was by no means an easy process, even with the aid of Jasper. He stumbled and bumbled, weaving this way and that, waving his arms about for balance. When he had finally regained his feet, he muttered to himself, and grasped at his head as he shook it from side to side, attempting to dispel the circling stars.
As the man finally regained his wits and his posture, he rose to his full height. He shook his head a final time, and looked to the ceiling that he had crashed through, as if to consider the damage he had done.
“Right!” he declared. “Now, where was I?”
Jack stared in wonder at the intruder, and Nibbler eyed this unsavory character with much suspicion, uttering a warning growl from between his doggy teeth. He was an enormous man – even bigger than Jasper, who was practically a giant, by any standard. He must have stood a good seven feet in height, and his shoulders were as broad as those of a professional bodybuilder.
But there was something… odd… about the proportions of his body. Jack could not help but notice that the intruder had a remarkably small head… a head that did not seem to match the gigantic body. And, once he gave it some thought, the intruder’s arms seemed awfully short for his frame, as well.
“Ebenezer!” Lefty cried out. “Ebenezer Widget-Bocker! Look what you’ve done to my roof. Don’t you know where the front door is, for crying out loud?”
So his name was Ebenezer, Jack realized. Ebenezer… Widget-Bocker? What a curious name.
“Ebenezer, you rattlebrained doorknob! Are you still wearing stilts and shoulder pads?” Lefty asked. “You need to get a grip, my good man!”
Stilts and shoulder pads, Jack wondered? What exactly was going on here?
The man known as Ebenezer began to stumble and stagger. The jetpack fell from his back, crashing to the floor, and a set of expansive shoulder pads soon followed. His feet seemed to slip upon something, and before Jack could comprehend what was happening, a pair of wooden stilts popped out from beneath the pant legs of Ebenezer, who was in the process of toppling over.
As he tumbled to the floor, it became clear that he was still a bit discombobulated from his crash-landing. Muttering and mumbling, Ebenezer pushed himself to his feet, wobbling as he went.
Jasper once more assisted Ebenezer. “Upsie-daisy!” he encouraged, as he pulled him to his feet.
The difference in Ebenezer was immediately noticeable, and quite startling. Upon first impressions, he had seemed to be a figure of remarkable stature. But the reality was that Ebenezer Widget-Bocker was a tiny man – perhaps five feet in height, which was roughly the same size as Jack (who was only a ten-year-old boy).
He had a slender build, and it seemed as though nothing more than a strong wind would be required to knock him down. Without the stilts and the shoulder pads, the truth became clear: Ebenezer was no more than an elaborate showman. What kind of crazy egomaniac would go to such lengths, Jack wondered?
Jack could see that beneath the layer of plaster dust that covered him, Ebenezer appeared to be a middle-aged man, with crazy tufts of gray hair that stood on end, and thick, round eyeglasses. He wore a lab coat that had many pockets, bulging with doodads and thingamajigs. But while Lefty wore a white lab coat, Ebenezer’s was black… a very unusual color for such a garment. The cape at his back, black with gold accents, completed the strange wardrobe.
Ebenezer recovered rather nicely, considering his bruising entry, and he tried to expand his chest and stand as tall as he could. “Behold! The return of your most feared enemy, your very nemesis! Now you shall tremble in terror!”
“Well, at the very least, I shall have to phone a roofer,” Lefty confessed, as he surveyed the damage to his house.
“Bah! Never mind about that,” Ebenezer said. “Your busted roof is the very least of your worries! The Black Hats have returned, and we’re here to take all that belongs to us. It’s time to surrender your research, Lefty… time to surrender our research. The research that you and I began with our team so very long ago.”
Lefty chuckled. “Come now, Ebenezer. You know I couldn’t possibly give you such a thing. You might hurt yourself!”
“Hurt myself?” Ebenezer was incredulous at the suggestion. He ran a hand through his gray hair, sweeping out an impressive amount of plaster dust. He squinted at Lefty from behind his thick, round eyeglasses, which looked something like goggles. “How dare you imply that your intellect might surpass my own!”
“Say, how is it that you came to be here, anyway?” Lefty asked. His change of subject seemed to be fueled by genuine curiosity. “The last time I saw you, you had been sucked into the Void. How ever did you escape?”
The Void, Jack wondered? What on earth could that be? He made a mental note to ask his uncle more about that, when time permitted them to catch up.
“Ah! Well, that’s a very interesting story, as a matter of fact,” Ebenezer began. “You see-”
He was interrupted by Jasper, who nudged him in the ribs with his elbow. It seemed that the janitor was trying to keep Ebenezer on track. Like Lefty, this scientist also seemed to be of an absent, easily distracted mind.
Ebenezer cleared his throat. “Enough of this nonsense! My most trusted spy has revealed the depth of your progress, and the Black Hats have determined that the time to unveil our return is now. Oh, how we’ve waited for this moment. Do you think I would reveal my presence, and that of the Black Hats, were I not supremely confident in my ability to take what I want?”
Lefty raised an index finger in protest. “In all fairness, I seem to recall that you had a terrible habit of overestimating your own abilities. The fine line between confidence and arrogance was one that you never seemed to grasp, old friend.”
“Bah! We’ll just see about that!” Ebenezer declared.
He stooped down and detached the stereo from his discarded shoulder pads, powering it on once it was cradled in his arms. The sweeping score of Ride of the Valkyries came from the speakers, but Ebenezer turned down the volume so that it was barely audible. He pressed a few buttons, and the song changed to something quite groovy in melody.
“Ah,” Ebenezer said, satisfied with the musical selection. “You’ve always been so predictable, Lefty. Old school funk…that should do the trick, don’t you think?”
Lefty’s eyes narrowed at the sound of the music. “You should not do this, Ebenezer. If our friendship has ever meant anything to you… please, don’t do this.”
At the plea, Ebenezer’s face seemed to soften, and his eyes drifted, as if recalling memories that had grown distant. “Our friendship… that was long ago,” he said in a quiet, almost inaudible voice. But his face soon hardened, seeming to gain years
of age as the lines in the skin reformed. “But that’s in the past. The future belongs to us… to the Black Hats!”
“No,” Lefty said. “You really should reconsider. He’s not ready.”
“He? My goodness, you’ve become attached to it!”
“He’s more than an it,” Lefty protested. “He’s not just a thing. He simply needs a little more time. Please, reconsider what you’re about to do!”
“You always were a sentimental fool, Lefty. And I’m afraid it’s not up to you.” Ebenezer’s hand drew closer to the volume knob, until it hovered just above, fingers twitching. “Not anymore.”
And with no further time wasted on showmanship and flair, Ebenezer seized the volume knob, and cranked it to the max.
The Green Beans, Volume 2: The Strange Genius of Lefty O'Houlihan Page 24