by Harlow James
“I thought….. I thought you stood me up again.”
My head snaps up at her words, the slice through my gut ripping my emotions open, exposing my mistake from before. Her anger has fallen away, replaced with disappointment.
“Vic. I would never do that to you again. I’ve been waiting years for tonight. I want another chance with you, and I promise I won’t let you down again.” I’m pleading but I don’t care. I can’t lose this opportunity with her again.
“Well, I’m afraid you’re too late,” her words twist the knife already penetrating my gut. She puts more distance between us and crosses her arms over her chest, leaning up against the walls of the small hallway.
“What? Why?” My eyes are bouncing back and forth between hers, trying to read her.
“Ben just asked me out and I said yes.” She pops her head to the side and raises her eyebrows, challenging me with the next move. The one she just threw at me hurts worse than any punch she could have landed.
“BEN?” I shout way louder than I intended to, but I’m seeing red, the image of him kissing her cheek flashing through my mind again.
“Yes, Ben. He said he’s always wanted to ask me out, so he did. Such a simple idea, don’t you think?”
I pause for a moment, contemplate where we go from here, my hand pushing on the note still folded up inside my pocket. That idea and any plan I had about this evening have gone to shit, so I’m flying by the seat of my pants now. Fuck it then. Here goes nothing.
“Then I want a date too.”
Her hands drop from her body instantly. “What?” She seriously looks shocked, which makes me chuckle.
“I want a date too. I’ve been waiting, just like good ol’ Ben, so I think it’s only fair we both get a shot.” I stand up tall again, resolving that I’m not letting her get away this easily, especially after all of this time. I can fight for her. I’ve been doing it subconsciously all these years anyway. Now there’s just one more person in my way, but I won’t let it stop me.
“Uh….” She stutters, her eyes bouncing all over the bar, searching for something.
I’ve rendered her speechless. Good. “Then it’s settled. When are you free?”
“I never agreed to this, Mike.” She’s retreating down the hall backward now and I slowly follow her, walking towards her as if I’m stalking my prey. Her breathing has become more shallow, her hands fidgeting at her sides.
“Vic,” I declare as her back hits the wall. “We've both been fighting this for so long. Why can’t you give me a chance to show you that it’s been worth the wait? If you’re going to give Ben a chance, after all this time, then I think it’s only fair I get my chance too.” I trace my finger along her soft cheek, my thumb pulling her full bottom lip down as I reach her chin and tilt her face up to meet mine. She’s trembling, the wariness of her face telling me she’s scared and conflicted yet yearns for the same thing I do.
Frankly, I’m terrified too. I’ve never been this bold and forward with a woman in my entire life and the idea of finally getting my chance with Vic scares the shit out of me, makes every fear I’ve ever felt about love come to the surface. She has the ability to ruin me, force me to own up to my mistakes, and finally turn me into the man I know I want to be for her. But I could make one wrong move and lose the one person I know could be made for me. I’ve ignored so many women for years, avoided commitment because none of them held a candle to her. And I’m done hiding, running, avoiding. I can’t let this opportunity pass me by.
“Mike, how do I know you won’t let me down again?” Her voice is hoarse, clouded with her anxiety from my proximity, but also undeniable fear.
Staring down into her hazel eyes, I cup the side of her face, her head leaning slightly into my touch before she catches herself and straightens her spine again.
“You don’t. You just have to trust me. But I promise, I won’t do it on purpose. Ever. Again.” My thumb strokes her cheek as our eyes penetrate each other, the distance between us closing slowly. I want to give in, jump over the ledge I’ve been teetering on for years, yearning to touch my lips to hers. But I stop myself. When I kiss Victoria for the first time, it won’t be in the hallway of a bar right outside the bathrooms. It’s going to be epic.
Instead, I stood my ground more, channeling the territorial side of me I’ve discovered in the past five minutes. Leaning into her further, I move my mouth next to her ear, the whisper of my breath tickling her skin, causing goosebumps to rise as she takes shallow breaths waiting for me to speak. My lips brush her earlobe, her neck leaning away from my face at the touch, a gasp escaping her mouth.
“I’ll call you to set up our date, Vic. I’m really looking forward to it.” The rumble of my voice echoes between our heads, her eyes closing as I pull away. Slowly her aureate eyes open to me, but she doesn’t speak. She simply nods. I flash her a smirk on one corner of my mouth before turning on my heels and gliding away, oozing confidence I didn’t know I possessed. Maybe I needed Ben to light a fire under my ass. Maybe I needed to face the idea of truly losing her to understand how badly I am willing to fight for her. I hope she’s ready because this is one fight I refuse to lose.
Chapter 5
Victoria
“Knock, knock!” My hand reaches for the handle on the screen door to Hayley and Tyler’s house as I yell the announcement of my arrival through the mesh.
“Come in!” Hayley shouts from the back of the house. I let myself in and follow the voices to the open kitchen where I’m greeted with Hayley and Pauline, both girls seated at one of the high top stools situated next to the large island in the middle of the space. White marble countertops sparkle in the soft lighting, the dark grey cupboards providing a perfect contrast to the cleanliness of the stone.
Hayley has chips and dips spread out on the island, a pitcher of margaritas ready to be poured, and the smell of pizza hits my nose, signaling a rumble from my stomach.
“So we’re going all out tonight, then?” I take a seat next to Pauline, gifting a small rub on her belly before reaching for the chips and taking a heap of ranch dip on the one I shove into my mouth less than eloquently.
“Uh, yeah. It’s girl’s night! And we have a prego in the house who needs to give in her cravings, with virgin margaritas, of course,” Hayley winks as she opens the pizza box. “And I have all the fixings for ice cream sundaes later.”
“Oh, you really do love me, don’t you?” Pauline asks, batting her eyelashes at Hayley.
“You betcha lady! You just keep cooking my nephew in there while I get your virgin drink from the freezer.” She rubs her shoulder and kisses her temple before walking over to the fridge.
“Uh, I’m six months pregnant…. So obviously, I’m not a virgin. I think that’s what irks me the most about that name for a nonalcoholic beverage designed for a pregnant woman. Um, hello?” She gestures down to her belly. “Definitely have had sex!”
Hayley and I laugh at her as she pours drinks for the three of us, then waves at us to fill our plates. Hayley texted me this morning, asking how things went with Mike last night. I told her that it was too much information to explain via text, so she suggested a girl’s night, which Dean and Tyler both encouraged so they could hang out and play cards during their boy’s night, so here we are.
“Can we move to the couch, please? These stools are killing my back,” Pauline pleas as she waddles into the living room.
“I agree, I wanna get comfy before I stuff my face.”
“Yeah, that’s fine. Let me grab some napkins and I’ll meet you in there,” Hayley calls from the kitchen as I help Pauline get settled on the couch, her plate balanced on her unborn child, which makes me chuckle.
“Don’t laugh, girl. One of these days, you will understand. And I hope you get pregnant with twins!” She points at me with fire in her eyes, but I know she’s only kidding.
“Hey, I can’t imagine how uncomfortable you are, but you just look so cute with that basketball under your shirt
, I can’t help but smile at you. And I can’t wait to hold that baby boy, Pauline. He’s going to be so handsome.”
She grins down at her stomach, lifting her plate to rub circles around her belly button. “Damn right he is. His parents are both beautiful people.”
“Oh, jeez! Please don’t tell me Dean’s head is going to get even bigger once his son is born,” Hayley chimes in as she enters the living room, plopping herself down in the big chair adjacent to the sofa Pauline and I are seated at.
“The man is sex on a stick, Hales. He can be as cocky as he wants!” Pauline teases, shoving pizza into her mouth and moaning at the taste.
“Ok, enough about that Kelley boy, Pauline. What we’re really here to discuss is the younger one, right Vic?” Hayley turns to me, the pressure and heat in the room instantly rising as my two best friends wait on pins and needles for the details of last night, a night that did not end the way I imagined it would have.
I clear my throat, preparing myself to divulge every minute of the evening and fish for the much-needed advice I was seeking, but I’m interrupted by a phone alert as soon as I attempt to speak. Turning my head towards the direction of my purse, I realize it’s mine. I make my way over, retrieving my phone and unlocking it as I glide back over to my spot on the couch. Swiping my thumb across the screen, I’m greeted with a text from Ben.
Ben: Hi, Vic. It’s Ben. Just texting to make sure you have my number. I’ll contact you later this week regarding our date. Have a nice evening.
I let out a long sigh, accompanied by a shake of my head before shooting off a quick reply of OK, then settle back into my seat and my food.
“Who was that?” Pauline mumbles around a mouthful of food.
“Oh, you guys,” I let out on a long exhale, followed by a large bite of pizza. I’m stress eating and I know it, but I think tonight it’s allowed. After swallowing, I continue. “Ben asked me out last night.”
Hayley and Pauline both freeze, looking back and forth between each other, questioning whether they heard me correctly.
“What? Did you say, Ben?” Pauline asks after what seems like forever. I nod.
“Yup. He came up to me from behind, so I thought it was Mike. But when I turned and saw him, he got all serious and said he’s always wanted to date me but was waiting for me to finish school. I was standing there listening to him be completely honest about how he felt and how he’s wanted to take me on a date for years, and all I could think about was how Mike couldn’t even do that. I had been waiting for hours for Mike to talk to me, but Ben swooped in and laid everything out in the open,” I pause and then exhale. “So, I said yes.”
Hayley swallows her food and takes a long sip of her margarita. “Wow. Ok, so do you like Ben like that?”
I shrug. “I mean, he’s obviously attractive. The truth is, I haven’t really looked at anyone like that in years. He definitely caught me off guard, but I figured, what the hell? I might as well give him a shot since he made the effort.” My smile is polite, which Pauline and Hayley know is my telltale sign that I’m not being completely honest.
“Ok, but what about Mike? I mean, come on Vic. We all know you guys have always had a thing for each other for years. Now all of a sudden, just because Ben asked you out, you’re going to forget all of that?”
I shake my head. “No, because right after Ben asked me out, Mike found me.”
“And? What happened? What did he say?” Pauline tries to sit up taller, failing miserably under her belly. I grab her plate from her, and she readjusts herself on the couch before I return her food.
“Well, I was not kind to him,” I chuckle. “I mean, he’d kept me waiting for hours, and realistically, it’s actually been years. So when he approached me, I was a real bitch and told him he was too late.”
Hayley laughs. “Wow, Vic! Good for you. What did he say?”
“I could tell I definitely caught him off guard. But then suddenly, he stood tall and demanded I go out with him too.”
Pauline and Hayley freeze again. “So what did you say?”
I break eye contact with my friends, staring down at the crumbs from the chips that once covered my plate I had devoured out of anxiety. “I didn’t really say anything. I just nodded.”
“Holy hell! Vic! You’ve gone from basically being a virgin to dating two men at the same time!” Pauline shouts, then grins around the straw of her drink.
“I am still a virgin, Pauline,” I say through gritted teeth. Even though I had a boyfriend in high school, he was less than understanding about my desire to wait to have sex. One night at a party, he got a little too intoxicated and tried to force himself on me. He got as far as pulling my pants down before I shoved my knee into his balls and ran out of the house, catching a ride with Pauline home. She remembers how traumatizing that night was for me, but I’ve shared no other details about my love life since then, because well, I haven’t had one.
“Really, Vic?” Hayley chimes in.
“Yes, really! Jesus, you guys! When have I had time to lose my virginity? And to who, I might add?” I throw my hands up in the air in exasperation. “I’ve been so busy with school and you both know I haven’t been dating, so when would that have happened?”
They look at each other with compassion in their eyes before Hayley rises from her chair and sits next to me, her arms wrapping around my shoulders. “I’m sorry, Vic. I didn’t really think about that. But hey, it’s okay. I’m beyond proud of you for focusing on your degree and your future career. Boys are trouble anyway, believe me,” she chuckles. “And when you do finally do it, it will be with someone you love, I’m sure.” She smiles at me before pulling me into a hug.
“Thanks. I feel like I’m missing out on something and I’m so behind in my love life. I mean, look at the two of you. A wedding and a baby on the way…. I haven’t even had sex yet!”
Pauline’s belly shakes up and down as she laughs at me. “Well, I can say with all honesty, you are definitely missing out,” she winks. “But it will happen when it’s supposed to and with the right person. Do you think that could be Ben?” She questions me with a tilt of her head, asking the question I really should ask myself.
“I honestly don’t know. But if I don’t put myself out there, how will I ever know, you know?” The doubt I feel right now is unsettling. I know I need to relax, but dating comes with certain expectations. And there are lines I’m just not comfortable crossing yet.
“I agree. And now, you get to date two guys and play the field a bit. OH! It will be like you’re on The Bachelorette!” Hayley squeals, clapping her hands together, garnering a laugh from Pauline and me.
“Yeah, you’ll get to go on dates with two men, have them wine and dine you and try to win you over! Oh, it’s so romantic and fun!”
Pauline scoffs. “Hales, hate to break it to you, but it’s nothing like The Bachelorette.” She ticks items off on her fingers. “First of all, the producers plan all of those dates, not the men or the Bachelorette, for that matter. Second, they won’t be traveling the world like they do on the show. And last, Vic won’t have a personal stylist dressing her to the nines every night. She just has us.”
Hayley looks like someone just popped her balloon as she watched it happen. “Yeah, I guess you’re right. But still,” she pipes up again. “You get to date two guys and see which one can win you over. That’s something for a girl who went from nothing to dating two guys literally overnight!”
Hayley’s perception of my dating charade amuses me. “Yeah, I guess. But I’m nervous. I know what I feel for Mike, deep down. But what if I realize that it was all in my head this entire time? What if I start to feel something for both of them? Can I kiss them both, or is that disgusting? How do you manage this? I’m SO out of my element, you guys!” I throw my face in my hands, shaking my head back and forth as the anxiety overcomes me. There is so much to consider in what I’m about to do and I have not had the time to process it.
Hayley rubs my shoulder. �
��Hey, you have us, and we will be here every step of the way. But I really think this is a good thing, Vic. It will help you gain some experience and, as you said, it will help you find out if these feelings you’ve been harboring for Mike all these years are real. You can kiss them both, I think that’s acceptable.” Pauline nods in agreement. “And of course, you don’t have to sleep with them, unless you feel ready to.”
“I’m not even close to being ready for that,” I interrupt.
“Then don’t. Just keep it PG and really get to know them. See what it is that you want. And hey, it could be that you don’t want either of them. That’s okay too.”
I nod in agreement. “Thanks girls. I don’t know what I would do without you guys.”
“And you never will, Vic. Best friends for life.” Pauline reaches out for my hand as the three of us share a moment.
“So Mike really demanded a date too, huh? I have a hard time imagining him acting that way,” Pauline breaks the silence as she moves to stand, gathering our trash as she makes her way back into the kitchen.
“Yeah, it was very out of character for him. But also, kinda hot.” I chuckle, causing Hayley and Pauline to both smirk at me.
“Oh yeah, Vic? You like a man who’s in charge, huh?” Hayley teases, nudging me with her elbow as we walk into the kitchen. I make my way over to the freezer to pull out the ice cream and toppings from the fridge, desperately trying to hide my embarrassment.
“In all honesty, I don’t know what I like. But I didn’t hate the way he took charge and cornered me in the hallway at the bar.”
Pauline and Hayley both perk up at my admission, my cheeks instantly become hot as I realize what I confessed.
“He cornered you? Wow.” Pauline shakes her head. “I might have to get Dean to pull some information out of his brother,” she jokes.
“Oh God! This is going to be a disaster, you guys!” I roll my eyes as my mind revisits the way Mike’s fingers felt on my cheek as he grazed my face last night. The tingles come back full force as I fight to regain my composure.