I snorted. “You think I haven’t offered or tried any of those options. She likes to be able to find me when she needs to flaunt me, but also be able to seal me back into my box when she no longer needs me. I’m nothing more than political decoration.” I put on a mock posh voice and waved my arm out. “Look, see, I was a single mother, my daughter is grown and still alive. Won’t I make a great candidate to improve your shit show too?”
He didn’t smile this time, and I didn’t like the lines which bloomed between his brows. “I’m so sorry.”
Heat hit my cheeks like a slap as I recalled how he said that very thing against every inch of my body last night. “Stop. We already went through that. Unless you’re going to say it again with your face between my legs, let’s just call it the past. It’s over with.”
He nodded and leaned forward to brace his elbows on his knees, his white button down pulling oh so tight across his broad shoulders. He said something.
I focused. “What?”
With a smile that said he knew exactly why I’d been distracted, he repeated himself. “Do you think your case is strengthened by having someone else on your side. I could go to your mother with you. We can sit down and talk about this all together.”
Ice water poured through me. “Are you crazy? No. I’m not putting you even more in her cross hairs than you already are. She will string you up by your degrees and then strip you of your dignity, self-respect, and then your money. There is no pause, there is no parlay, there is no please ma’am, give me another chance to do what you want. Her word is law, and if you go against it, you might as well be dead.”
I reached out and clutched his hands, forcing him to meet my eyes. “Tell me you understand what I just said to you. Tell me you understand and won’t go against my mother. Promise.”
He sighed and squeezed my fingers in return. “I promise I won’t go against your mother without your knowledge or consent.”
Not what I asked, but I’d take it. Since that night we’d had sex in the back of his car, he hadn’t lied to me. I trusted him.
He let me go and sat back. “Then I guess we need another plan. First thing I need to do is clear your medical history. If we do it slow and carefully, she won’t notice until it’s all be taken care of.”
It sounded like a great first step. Part of me couldn’t believe there was a first step, and soon to be a second, and a third. I feared believing maybe one day I might have a normal life. But the few hours we’d stolen together. The few precious moments we had of him believing me, and for once in my life, not being crazy to someone…I’d remember it forever.
No one had ever believed me. No one had ever believed in me.
Not until him.
And damn if I didn’t want to keep him a little while longer.
Chapter Twelve
Ash
She walked into my office the exact same way as she had the day before. It felt different now, so much more open. As if the world itself had cracked like and egg and gave me a glimpse of something I’d barely begun to understand. It said, Here try this. See if you like it.
Fuck me, I did.
She leaned on the doorframe for a moment before pushing into the room and closing the door behind her. “We’ve got to stop meeting like this, Doc.”
I couldn’t stop the smile that split my lips even if I wanted to. “Like what?”
She crossed the space and braced her palms flat on the meatiest part of my thighs. “Any way at all if you want me to keep my hands to myself.” She inched her hands upward until they met my pelvis.
I swallowed against the wave of lust swamping me while I stared into her eyes. “What if I don’t want you to keep your hands to yourself?”
“Why Doc, are you asking me to do something naughty?”
Before I could croak out an answer, she removed her hands and perched on my lap. I had to wrap my hands around her waist to keep her from toppling off. She trusted me to do that for her. To keep her from falling.
She let out and long sigh, cupped my cheek, and leaned in to take my lips with her own. Her lips spread across my own softly first and then teased away just far enough our heated exhales mingled. When she dropped her chin to kiss me again, I cupped the back of her neck and refused to let her tease me. I was ready to spread her across the hardwood of my desk and show her exactly how much she scrambled me in every way.
I claimed her lips until she submitted and then trailed my mouth down her chin and to the soft expanse of her long neck. She gripped the hair at the nape of my neck in a fist, and I caught her head as she arched to give me better access.
I couldn’t resist leaving a trail of bites down to the collar of her shirt. She shifted in my lap, her hip butting against my erection, giving me just enough friction to tease.
Nothing about her made me feel in control. She might cede to me in some areas, but I was beginning to understand there was no controlling this woman.
I lifted my head, and she let out a soft huff. “Don’t worry, Love. I’m not nearly finished with you.”
She shifted in my lap, and I lifted her slight weight easily onto my desk. Instead of demanding ground, she waited, eyeing me as I cupped my hands under her knees and dragged her forward. My pen and notepad hit the floor, but neither of us cared. She leaned her weight back on her hands, and I eyed the line her body made from her neck to her hips.
“What are you going to do with me now, Doc?”
I licked my lips. “If you make another Freud quip right now, I’m going to spank you.”
A smile curled at the corner of her mouth. “Is that an invitation or a threat? I do love a good spanking.”
I chuckled. “You would.”
She cocked her head to the side, and I felt thoroughly flayed open. This woman probably knew as much as I did about psychology. No, more. She’s studied under a different kind of motivation than I had. Mine was ambition, hers for life, for her future.
“I think you’ve exhausted your Freud compendium.”
She let out a short laugh. “Are you willing to take that risk, Doctor.? There isn’t much you can do against a well-timed Freud joke.”
I stepped between her open thighs and pressed thumbs to the sensitive insides, and ran them straight up. She licked her lips and hissed out a breath. “I think I’ll be able to protect myself.”
Her eyelids had drooped, and I enjoyed the lazy look in her eye. The one that said she’d let me take my time, but when I finished, it would be her turn.
“Kiss me,” I said.
She leaned forward, wrapped her hand in my tie, and yanked my face to hers. I didn’t even try to fight.
She met my lips with a fierce kiss, pulled my tie as if she might mesh us further together by the anchor of fabric. I dragged her hips to the very edge of the desk so I could feel the heat of her against me. I wanted her naked and splayed, but I didn’t want to risk it with the hospital awake and alive around us.
I matched the smooth pass of her lips against mine and curled my hands around her thighs as she deepened it and meshed our tongues together. After a minute, she let my tie go and grabbed my belt buckle. Not one single part of me made a move to stop her.
She striped the leather from the brass and then worked the buttons until she could easily press her hand into my pants. When her skin met mine, I groaned along with her.
“I want you inside me. Right now.”
She released me, peeling her hands down her legs, she kicked her underwear and pants off, her slippers going with it. I shoved my own pants down to my feet and stepped up to her. I started to grab my pants again, but she shook her head. “No condom. I want to feel you inside me. Please.”
The softness and the heat of her pinged in my brain, and I couldn’t force myself to grab the condom. We could be careful. I’d be careful.
She guided my hips, and I used the tip of myself to rub against her clit. She hissed a breath and tried to rub back against me. “Patience, Love. I’m going to give you want you wa
nt.”
I gently slid inside her. She winced, and I realized she must be sore. “Are you okay?”
“Fine. Don’t you dare stop.”
I dragged her hips against me, and she leaned back and wrapped her legs around me to give us better leverage. The hot, wet heat of her body wrapped around me sent my already precarious control out the window. I wanted to fuck her into the desk hard enough to leave bruises on both of us. But she was already sore, and I feared hurting her. I focused on the wood grain over her shoulder and let her arch her hips, finding the rhythm she liked. Short shallow strokes that pressed my cock against her clit with every pass.
“You deserve to be splayed open on my bed. My face between your legs, taking my time,” I whispered as she fucked me from below.
She pressed her hand against my lips. “Shhh…I’m trying to come.”
Unbelieving she just shh-ed me, I pulled out of her. She cried out and glared. I narrowed my eyes. Pulled her off the desk and spun her to face the wood. Once I had her hips up on the wood again, I spread her thighs, her shapely ass so lovely and inviting, then I pushed back into her. She dropped her head onto the desk with a sigh.
Until I smacked the round of her ass with my hand. It produced a cute little yelp, and the clench of her pussy around me was my punishment and reward.
I held her in place and then lazily thrust in and out of her. She settled underneath me, I pressed the flat of my hand on her lower back and teased her with every stroke.
She wrapped her hand underneath her hips. She started rubbing her clit and letting out bursty little exhales against the wood of my desk, condensation spreading in front of her lips with each one.
The sight of her playing with herself sent me over the edge. I wrapped my hands on her hips and dragged her back into me with each thrust forward.
She said, “Fuck yes,” but it didn’t reach my brain with my own orgasm so very close. I pumped into her hard and fast, nothing gentle left to give her. She didn’t want it anyway.
Her body closed around mine. Her pussy gripped my cock tighter and tighter until I couldn’t hold out any longer. I jerked back and cupped my hand around myself as I jerked a few more times, cum coating my fingers until I could finally see through the haze again.
I stood there, hands coated. She peeled herself off my desk and dropped down to open my drawers. A stack of napkins lay in the bottom, and she handed them to me. “Thank you.”
She righted her clothing while I cleaned myself up. Then went to the sink in the corner to wash my hands.
When I turned to face her again, she sat on the edge of my desk giving me a lazy lingering look of appreciation. “I need to goad you more often. You seem to like slow and steady. I like fast and rough.”
I dried my hands. “I hadn’t noticed.”
A knock at the door jolted me. I met her eyes, and she hopped off the desk and came around to sit in the chair. I threw the towel on the sink and opened the door, sure guilt was etched in every line of my body and face.
Minthe stood on the other side. She marched into the office and stopped. “Oh, I’m so sorry Doctor. I didn’t realize you had a session this morning.”
Almost in slow motion, I watched her take in my rumpled hair, clothes, and the notepad on the floor. I didn’t think, I could only act.
I grabbed her hand and met her eyes. A pink blush tracked up her neck. “What did you need help with?”
I punctuated the soft caress of my hand on hers with what I hoped was a disarming smile. She shook herself, pink now in her ears, lined with glittering earrings. “Sorry for interrupting. I just brought another file I found.”
Her gaze slid to Kory and back to mine. She’s found another of her files. I lifted her fingers to my lips and kissed the back of her hand. My stomach flip flopped in my belly, and all I could think of was saving myself, saving Kory from an investigation, from the stigma.
“Thank you for taking the time. I really appreciate the effort you made on my behalf. Why don’t you come back in a bit, and we can talk about it? Or you can show me where you found them in the basement so I can take over the search myself.”
She gulped, and I heard Kory exhale from behind me. I didn’t dare look at her, draw Minthe’s attention away.
She nodded and gently slid her fingers from mine. I closed the door and clutched the file to my chest. That had been way too close. Kory and I couldn’t take these risks here while I still needed my credibility to get her safely free.
I spun around, and the look on Kory’s face felt like a slap. She’d completely shut down any and all emotion. I told myself it was likely for Minthe’s benefit, so she wouldn’t see the naked open longing there, so I wouldn’t see it and mirror it with my own.
I put the file on top of the filing cabinet and sat on the desk facing her. “Are you ok? I didn’t hurt you, did I?”
“No. Of course not.” The tenderness didn’t leech back into her face. She remained as unmoved as stone while I scanned her features. Part of me wanted to explain to tell her I had to flirt to get Minthe out of there before she saw too much and it put both of us in danger.
She didn’t give me the chance. She walked to the door, threw it open, and left me staring after her.
Chapter Thirteen
Kory
I didn’t flee from him. I didn’t run either. I made my way back to my room at a steady pace even if my heart and brain had all but thrown themselves under the bed before I reached it.
My presence in his life, in his office, jeopardized everything for him. A fact I knew. One I thought I’d faced until I glanced at the questions in Nurse Minthe’s too-fucking-gorgeous eyes. There wasn’t an accusation there, but a knowing had shown through.
Ash had thrown himself in front of it. Using his charm and smile to try and make her forget. But the second she saw us in any type of compromising position again, he’d get caught, tossed out. While I’d be sad at the loss of my one supporter, I couldn’t stand the thought of being the person who ruined his life, his career. So many people had taken my own from me. I wasn’t about to do the same to someone else.
I sat on my bed, and it creaked as I my weight settled too near the spring. I’d gone and fucked up. I got attached to him, and now I couldn’t stop seeing him. Eyes open, I saw him everywhere, touching me, that devastating smile he doled out too judiciously. When I closed them, I could smell the spicy scent of him around. The way his hands would play up the bones of my rib cage as if he might tease me.
I laid back on my bed and stared at the stark white ceiling. And even now, I could feel his body aligned along my hip, his forehead pressed above my ear, the weight of his arm on my chest as he wrapped his hand around the other side of my face. All in my imagination, but years of living inside my head had made those imaginings all too real.
Someone sat food on my desk, and I didn’t even glance up. I prayed it wasn’t Minthe with her lithe curves and utterly destructive lips. The nurse left, and I didn’t roll over. I wasn’t hungry. I didn’t want to feel this way. How did I let this happen? How did I let the emotions so deep, I wouldn’t be able to dig them out now?
A long time ago, I promised myself I wouldn’t get attached to anyone. It was bad enough having my love of books used against me. If my mother heard a whisper of how I felt for Ash, she would have my soul and his nuts bound for her own agenda in a heartbeat. I’d never see the light of day again, and he’d be the jailor my mother used to keep me chained tight.
A knock at the door.
I didn’t glance up when Styx entered. I could feel her stoic aura from where I lay. “You need to eat something,” she said.
“I’m not hungry right now. Leave it, and I’ll eat later.” Probably wasn’t true, but she didn’t need to know that.
“You want to go for a walk?”
“Where? Pretty sure I’m restricted to this hallway and that’s about it.”
I looked at her now. She shrugged. “Put your shoes on if you’re coming.”
I scrambled off the bed and shoved my feet into the rough canvas sneakers, the lure of fresh air too great to resist even in my current mood.
I followed her, and she led me down the back stairwell out onto the grounds. “If you try to run, I’ll be forced to tackle you, and I will be pissed.”
I took in a long deep breath and let it out. “I won’t run.”
We walked slowly around the big brick building. “I’ve been at this job a long time,” she said.
I didn’t respond. Something told me she wasn’t trying to have a conversation with me, but something did need said.
“I’ve seen so many weird things. A lot of bad things, and good things too. Yours is the strangest, and it took me a long time to figure out what was happening.”
I kept my snort of disbelief in check.
“I know you aren’t supposed to be here. I know you’re in love with our beautiful young new doctor. And I know if he stays here, he is going to run his career into the ground to save you.”
“Save me from what?” I knew the answer. I just wanted to see if she did. She’s gotten most of it right.
“You’re crazy ass mother of course. What do I look? Stupid?”
I laughed despite the insanity of the situation. “No, Ma’am. You don’t.”
“What are you going to do about it?”
I shrugged. “What do you want from me? I can’t do anything about any of it. I didn’t choose to be here. I am helpless.”
She stopped walking and leveled me with a steel glare. “No woman alive has ever been helpless, Child. Use your brain instead of your twat.”
I jerked to a halt a few steps ahead of her. “I wasn’t aware I was thinking with my vagina. If you’re so smart, what the hell do I do here?”
Styx started walked again and I trailed beside her, a new respect for the woman growing inside me. “Arm yourself with knowledge in your mother’s game. Use it to take her down a notch. And stop fucking that pretty doctor and cut him loose.”
Deranged: Twisted Myths Book One Page 8