by Bella Jewel
That bothers me the most.
Do they know something I don’t?
Maybe I should tell them the whole truth and be done with it.
But the whole truth makes me ashamed. It takes me back to a version of myself that I’m ashamed of, because that version of myself lost me everything. It turned Nicolai against me. It made him run away. All because of my choices.
I just don’t know. I know nothing, if I’m being honest.
A loud sound from the engine of my car snaps me out of my thoughts, and I blink a few times, shaking my head. I’m driving home from work after a long day, and was off in my own little world, and now my car is making some strange noise, and is that … smoke? My eyes widen, and I pull over as quickly as I can, just as a loud bang echoes out from underneath my hood.
This cannot be happening right now.
Seriously, what the hell?
I get out of my car and walk around to the front, opening the hood. Smoke billows out and I cough, waving a hand around. People are zooming past me, not one of them stopping. One thing I’ve noticed with the world these days, is that people are freaking assholes. Nobody wants to help anyone else out, they’re all too busy in their own little universe. Well, screw them. I’ll get my own help.
I glance around and then groan, literally groan, out loud. Because, what would happen to be a couple of blocks up on the left? Well, you got it, Rumblin’ Knights. Which contains Lincoln Knight. Who I do not like. But I know him, I’m familiar with him, and dammit, he’s close which means he might be able to help me and then I won’t have to part with a heap of money so that I can pay for my car to get towed somewhere.
I curse again, just in case the universe didn’t know already how much I dislike its nasty little game. I mean, putting me right near Rumblin’ Knights when my car went kaboom. Really? It’s like it’s enjoying my pain. With a frustrated growl, I lock my smoking car after getting my purse out, and then stomp, yes stomp, toward the garage that looks so damned nice on the side of the road.
If I was anyone else, I’d come in here without hesitation. It looks professional, it’s big, it’s bright, and it almost takes you back to the days when car garages were everywhere and women did those silly little car washes in their bikinis. Ah, those were the days. Not that I lived in them, but dammit do I wish I did. I wonder how many women bring their car into Rumblin’ Knights and continue to come back because they get a look at Lincoln Knight?
Hell, if I didn’t know what a giant douche stick he was, I’d probably do the same.
I’m panting by the time I reach the office and, well, I don’t even care. It’s hot. And I’m so damned out of shape. It wouldn’t hurt me to get my ass up and jog every now and then, but I also happen to thoroughly enjoy bed and food. Food the most. Cake, if I’m being precise. Whatever. I like food and hate walking, what’s the harm in that?
I shove open the office door and step inside, and immediately see a gorgeous brunette at the counter. Of course she’s gorgeous, I can’t imagine Lincoln Knight having anything less working for him at his front counter. I mean, he gets to walk in and out all day and look at this gorgeous woman with her perfect damned hair, tits, and no doubt ass. I rub my belly, which okay, isn’t that big, but it has that little pudgy bit. Ugh.
I bet hers doesn’t have that.
What do I even care anyway?
I don’t like Lincoln Knight, remember?
“Hey there.” She smiles, and even her voice is pretty. Soft, sweet. Gah.
She’s nice. I can’t hate her because I look like a panting puppy that’s just come from running away from my owners. Cute, a little chubby, and everyone likes to hug me.
It’s true.
I can’t even.
“Hey.” I smile back, trying to catch my breath in a ladylike manner. “Is Lincoln around?”
Her smile wavers. It’s a touch, and I mean a touch, but it’s there. Oh boy. Her and Lincoln probably have a thing, and he’s probably a dick about it, so she probably thinks I’m here to have my way with him in the back garage. All of those things are probably incorrect.
Probably, probably.
“He is,” she tells me. “I’ll just go and get him. Your name is?”
“Shania,” I say, taking a seat. “Thanks.”
She walks out back, and I was right, she has a great ass and long legs, and damn. I need to drink some water so I don’t look completely terrible when Lincoln rolls in. I go to the complimentary water jug and fill a cup. Then I drink it. And another. And another. Then I sit back down because I don’t want to be greedy. Someone else might want some water, too. I wipe the sweat from my brow with the back of my hand and wait.
Lincoln and the lovely brunette return a few minutes later, and I have to take a very calming breath when he walks in looking the way he’s looking right now. Wearing his work uniform that is basically old ripped jeans, and a tight tee. And he has grease and a little dirt kind of smeared all over his hands, and up his arms, and there are even a few swipes on his face. And oh, God, he looks so god damned gorgeous it makes me want to pounce on him.
I’m a woman.
And this man, this man is completely edible. Even if he is a giant turd.
“Shania,” he murmurs, walking in. “Been tryin’ to reach you.”
Right. He has. Awkward.
“Yeah, ah, I’ve been working. Listen, I’ve broken down just up the road. I … I was wondering if you could help me?”
I swear he gets a smug look on his face, like he’s thinking how utterly hilarious it is that I’m here asking for his help when I’ve so enthusiastically denied it up until this point.
Yeah, joke’s on me.
“What’s wrong with it?”
“Ah,” I say, then shrug. “Smoke, a loud bang … you know?”
He smirks and then glances at the clock on the wall. “Can fit it in now, but you’ll be here past closing. That’s if you need it for tomorrow. If it’s major, can’t promise I’ll get it done, but I’ll take you to work tomorrow if I don’t finish it. Or I can take you home now and pick you up for work in the morning and you can just leave it here overnight. Up to you.”
I ponder this. Because being here, with Lincoln, alone, after hours might not be such a wise idea.
But, without my car I’m screwed. So screwed. I have a big day of baking tomorrow, we’re doing a huge function, and I need to be there early. I can’t rely on him for that.
“How about you check it out and we can decide once you’ve had a look and decided if you think it’s bad or fixable?”
Lincoln nods. “I’ll get the tow, bring it up. Wait here.”
I give him the keys, and he disappears, telling me he’ll be back in less than half an hour with my car on board. I take a seat but notice brunette staring at me. I should ask her name, that would be the polite thing to do, I mean, it’s rude of me to sit here and not try and at least make conversation. It looks to me like she’s about to make conversation with me, or she’s desperate to ask me something. One or the other.
“I’m Shania,” I say, smiling.
“I’m Indiana.”
Nice name.
“How long have you worked here?” I ask her.
“I only started about two or three weeks ago now. The other girl had a new job offer, so she left and here I am.”
I nod. “Do you like it?”
She smiles. “Yeah, it’s really good. And everyone is so nice.”
“Even Lincoln?” I raise my brows.
She giggles softly. “Well, he can be a bit moody.”
A bit.
That’s an understatement.
“You’re telling me,” I mumble.
“You know him then?” Indiana asks, her pretty slate-grey eyes getting a touch wider when she raises her brows in question.
“Oh, not well. I mean, he’s helping me with something. But we haven’t known each other very long.”
“Are you dating?”
“God. No,” I say, s
crunching up my nose. “Hell, Lincoln and I barely get along most days. It’s not even a love hate thing, it’s mostly a hate hate thing. It’s a long story, but no, no way.”
I swear I see her exhale with relief. Indiana has a crush on Lincoln, maybe they’ve been together a few times, maybe he’s given her a hint that he is interested, because the look she’s giving me is one of hope now. Like she thinks she might be in with a chance. I feel for her, because if that isn’t the case, it can be soul crushing, and honestly? Send you over the edge.
I’d know.
Nicolai … oh, Nicolai. He was my downfall. My undoing. My obsession.
And I read into things that weren’t there, I made things up that didn’t exist, and I sent him to a point where he lost his shit, and left me with nothing. I was broken hearted and in such a bad way for a long time. Only now can I even think of his name without feeling an ache in my heart.
I wouldn’t want anyone else to ever have to feel that kind of pain.
Because it sucks.
But what sucks most is the embarrassment. The sheer embarrassment when you realize what you’ve done.
Indiana and I talk while we wait for Lincoln to return. She tells me how she is studying to become a biologist and that this is just a fill in job until she is finished with her study. She goes to college a few days a week and has no boyfriend. Her and Lincoln haven’t slept together, but they talk a lot and they’re close. But he won’t let her know how he feels about anything, which is frustrating to her.
I feel you, sister.
She’s a nice girl, and by the end of it, we’ve exchanged numbers and are going to meet up for a coffee. Instant friends. Those I can make fairly easily.
Lincoln returns and tells me the car is in his garage and he can fix the problem in a few hours. So I agree to wait around. The garage staff are due to finish in half an hour, and then it’ll just be him and me.
Not sure that’s a good thing.
There are a lot of weapons lying around, such as spanners, and other tools that could hurt another human being.
“Hey, Shania!”
I’m sitting out back in a chair, trying really really hard not to watch Lincoln as he works on my car. Those muscles, and the way he moves, and god, that ass.
I look up to see Finn walking my way.
Finn’s lovely, but he’s very, very damaged. One look at him tells you that. Damon is easygoing, and fun, and bubbly. Finn is friendly, but he’s more withdrawn, quieter, like he’s barely hanging on. Even behind his smile, his eyes seem to be screaming for help. That breaks my heart. He’s a really good guy. And hell, he’s freaking good looking. I’d take him home in an instant. Sky blue eyes, nothing like Lincoln’s, and thick, dark long hair. Gorgeous.
He stops when he reaches me, and looks down. “Heard your car is in here.”
“It is, Lincoln is fixing it which means I have to wait around for him to finish. Any tips, suggestions, ways to kill him if he gets too full on?”
Finn grins, but it doesn’t quite reach his eyes. “Could very easily run him over, I mean, take your pick of cars …”
I glance around. “You make a valid point. Thank you very much. I’ll keep that in mind when we get into a raging argument later.”
Finn chuckles. “You two certainly know how not to get along.”
I shrug. “I don’t know why. It’s him. I’m a damned delight.”
Finn shakes his head, but he’s still smiling just a little. “How is everything else?”
“Good, going along steady. What about you, Finn? What have you been up to?”
“Workin’ here now, been good. Keeps my mind of things.”
“I hope those things aren’t too bad,” I say, offering him a friendly smile.
“Not too bad.”
He’s lying. That is so obvious. But I say nothing.
“Ellie told me you and Erin have been talking, how is that going?”
He shrugs. “It’s going.”
A closed book. That’s okay, I like reading, I’ll pry him open.
“She’s a lovely girl,” I continue.
“Yeah. What about you? Seeing anyone?”
Lincoln’s eyes lift from what he’s doing, and I catch him looking our way. Oh, is someone interested in what I’m doing?
That does make me feel a little funny, in a good way, which is odd. I don’t even like him, so why I’d care if he was wondering or not, is beyond me.
My tummy, though, is telling me something different.
Which throws me off for a minute, and I find it hard to get my train of thought back.
“A few here and there, nothing serious. I’m not really looking right now.”
Finn nods. “Get that. Relationships are fucking bullshit.”
I raise my brows. Hmmm. I wonder what’s going on with him and Erin? If it’s even Erin he’s talking about, that is. I assume so, because Ellie told me the two of them had been out a few times, but with the Knight brothers, who knows. He could be like Lincoln and have a thousand women up his sleeve.
Okay. Slight overreaction, but hey, it is what it is.
“I hear you.”
“Finn,” Lincoln barks, making both of us turn and look to him. “Go and check the club, can’t get in there tonight, gotta finish this.”
“Yeah, okay,” Finn mutters, turning and glancing at me once more before disappearing out the door.
I watch him go, and my heart aches for him. He looks so … angry, and sad, like he’s ready to give up on the world. I wonder what happened to make him that way? Ellie has told me a bit about Lincoln and Slater and their rocky relationship in the past with drugs, but nobody has mentioned much about Finn and Damon. What happened to them? What did they have to endure? The two younger brothers. The ones who probably had to live in the mess Lincoln and Slater created.
I wonder if anyone thinks about them?
“Get over here and help me,” Lincoln barks.
I turn around and raise my brows. “I’m not a mechanic.”
“You can pass me what I need, now hustle, don’t have all night.”
“Please would be nice,” I mutter, standing and going over.
This should be fun.
~*~*~*~
THEN – SHANIA
Oh. My. God.
I wake up and my head is pounding. It’s pounding so damned hard I can hardly sit up without groaning in pain. I try, more than once, but give up and lie back down. What happened last night? The last thing I remember was dancing with Harper and having a good time, and then boom, I’m out of it. Did I drink too much? I didn’t think I was that drunk.
I blink a couple of times, and it’s only when I do that I realize I’m in a very unfamiliar apartment. It certainly isn’t mine. My heart quickens and my hands go to my clothes so fast it’s beyond frantic. I’m fully clothed still. God. Did I come back to some strange man’s house? Who lives here? Why am I here? My mind is spinning as I force myself to sit up and look down to see two Tylenol and a glass of water by the sofa.
I take it, without thought. It could be anything, really, but my head is hurting so much I don’t think I can move if I don’t take it.
“You’re awake.”
A little squeal escapes my throat and I turn very slowly to see Nicolai walking into the room. He’s bare chested, wearing nothing but a pair of boxer briefs. His hair is slicked back from the shower, and his dark skin glistens. He’s so damned perfect, I’m finding it very very hard to look away. Hell, I don’t even want to look away. I let my eyes take him in. A man, a real man, with muscles and strength … Gosh.
“W-w-w-what am I doing here?” I stammer.
I probably look like shit.
No, I know I look like shit. I probably have makeup everywhere, and my hair would be an absolute mess. I don’t even want to imagine how my armpits smell right about now.
God.
Not cool. Not cool at all.
“You tell me, Shania. I just saved you when you took whatever i
t is you took.”
I blink at him. “Took?”
“Drugs.”
I’m already opening my mouth before he has even closed his, and gasping, “What?”
“You took drugs. Don’t know what. But you did. Want to know why. You know my rules, Shania. I don’t deal with drugs amongst my girls. Alcohol, fine. Drugs, fuckin’ big no no.”
I shake my head, confused. He thinks I took drugs? I didn’t take anything. Nothing at all. I was only drinking what was served to me.
“I didn’t take anything, Nicolai, I must have been spiked.”
He exhales, running his hands through his hair. “You have to know how many times I’ve fuckin’ heard that excuse, too. Seen this before, Shania. Million times. Want to believe you, but fuck, as I said, seen it before.”
I stand up, swaying and gripping my head. It takes me a minute to get myself together.
“Sit down,” Nicolai orders. “You’re going to pass out.”
“No,” I say. “I’m going to leave. If you don’t believe me, then nothing I say will matter anyway. But I’m telling you, I did not fucking take any drugs. I didn’t. I took drinks that were offered to me, yes, but no drugs. Now, I’m leaving. If you’re going to fire me, let me know.”
I gather my things and walk towards the front door. “You got no way of gettin’ home. I’ll get dressed and take you. Chill out.”
He turns and disappears, and I’m fuming with anger. I pull out my phone and see so many missed calls, it takes me a few minutes to get through them. Finally, I decide to call Harper back, knowing she would be the one most worried.
“Girl, dammit, are you okay?”
I smile, her voice is bubbly even after a hard night. “Yeah, I’m okay. I was … drugged.”
She goes quiet. “What? Are you serious?”
“Yeah, and Nicolai is having a hard time believing it wasn’t me that took it.”
“Oh, sugar, that makes me so damned angry. I know exactly who done it.”
I blink. “Who?”
“Well, Yana of course. She got the last round right before you lost it. She hates you. She wants you gone. She knows Nicolai won’t just get rid of you, so she made it look like you broke his major rule.”