by Bella Jewel
What the hell is wrong with me?
I search the room but can’t find Lucy or Shania. They must be downstairs at the pool—that’s where they usually hang out.
I make my way down, brain going a hundred miles an hour, not thinking about anything else except how damned stupid I feel right about now. I don’t understand my brain and why it has suddenly decided it just can’t deal with Finn and everything to do with him. Snorting to myself in frustration, I head out of the lobby and down toward the pool. The wind is squally at the moment, almost like a storm is coming, and even though the sun has set and it’s dark, it feels … odd.
I find Lucy and Shania by the pool, drinks in hand, the whole place lit up with night lights, making it look like a tropical bar. There are people everywhere. Shania is sitting on Lincoln’s lap like the dirty ho she is, can’t say I blame her. If he was my boyfriend, I’d be on his lap, too. Hell yes I would. Lucy is nose deep in her phone, texting someone by the looks; who, I don’t know. Either way, she’s busy. She won’t be in a moment, at least, not with anything else but me.
I stop when I reach them. “Lincoln, I’m about to say very bad things about your brother, things that could possibly include asshole, douchebag, tosser, twat waffle … so you might want to go and find a drink …”
Lincoln grins up at me. “I’m happy to stay and listen.”
“I’d rather you didn’t stay and listen, you might give me advice, and I really don’t want advice, I just want to vent and feel sorry for myself.”
He chuckles, turns Shania’s face around with his hand, and kisses her. Then he stands, leaving us girls alone. I flop down on the chair between them, and they both stare at me, grinning. Am I so dramatic? Probably. Right now I feel dramatic. I feel like I’m losing control of myself, and I don’t like that. I’m always in control, hell, I couldn’t have gotten through what I did with Ellie if it wasn’t for some serious control.
So why in the hell can’t I find it now?
“Are you going to tell us what’s going on,” Lucy asks, “or are you going to keep sitting there looking like you’re plotting a murder. Are you plotting a murder? Should we be concerned?”
“I’m not plotting a murder,” I tell her. “I’m wondering when I got so freaking pathetic.”
“What happened?” Shania asks. “You’ve got ten minutes to speak then I’m going to take my man up to the room and do unspeakable things with him.”
I grin at her. “I wouldn’t want to hold you up. Okay, here goes …”
I take a deep breath in, raising my hands and lowering them as my breath releases. “I just took some alcohol to Finn’s room. We … I don’t know … connected the other night and I thought we could hang out. Oh god, this sounds so bad now I’m saying it out loud. Anyway, I thought we could connect so I went over and the door was open. There he was, on the couch, Indi on his lap, rubbing his dick while they made out.”
I stop talking, realizing just how stupid this whole situation is now I’ve said the words out loud. What an idiot I am. What was I thinking? Honestly? That Finn and I actually had some sort of weird connection? Good lord. When did I get so stupid?
“Oh, man, I’m so dumb …” I whisper.
“Honey,” Shania says, scooting her chair closer. “You’re not dumb. Not even close. But I do feel like you’re not truly accepting that Finn isn’t going to be what you want him to be. You like him, it’s clear, and I think you need to take a step back before you get hurt.”
Well, of course I need to take a step back. Of course I do. That’s so obvious it’s like a slap in the face. Finn has never been unclear. I’m the one who read it wrong. The best thing for me to do right now is to stay away from him until my mind becomes clear again. Otherwise, Shania is right, I’m going to get hurt. I really don’t want that.
“You’re right,” I exhale, rubbing my face. “I’m such an idiot.”
“No, you’re not,” Lucy says. “We’ve all done things we shouldn’t, trust me. Sometimes it’s really damned hard to walk away from the things we shouldn’t be doing, because at the time, it almost feels … right.”
“Are we talking about me or you?” I ask her, frowning. She looks like she has something on her mind. Something big.
“Me,” she exhales. “But let’s get back to you.”
“No,” I say quickly. “No, I know what I need to do. You’ve listened to me dribble on for the last few days. Now it’s my turn to listen. What’s going on, because you look an awful lot like you’re struggling with something.”
Lucy glances at Shania, so quickly that Shania misses it, but I don’t. Then she says, “No, it’s just work troubles. Honestly. Pain in the ass. Now you, girl, you’re going to stay away from Finn as much as you possibly can. Enjoy your time here, cut contact if you have to, get your strength back. You can’t let him rule how you’re feeling. He’s a good guy, don’t get me wrong, but you’re too smart to get tangled up in the broken one that doesn’t want a relationship.”
“You’re right about that.”
“Lucy is right,” Shania says. “Enjoy the rest of the vacay, get out there and mingle, and stay away from Finn Knight as much as possible. Anyway, ladies, my man is looking at me like he wants to eat me alive, so I think I’m going to let him …”
We both laugh and wish her goodnight as she saunters off toward Lincoln who is definitely staring at her like he wants to eat her alive.
“Now,” I say looking back to Lucy. I figure whatever is going on with her, she doesn’t want her sister to know. I’m not sure why. Maybe because Shania has been through so much as it is, and she doesn’t want to make things worse. Either way, she definitely didn’t tell the truth earlier. “Are you going to tell me what’s going on with you?”
Lucy exhales. “Was my lie that obvious?”
“It was, yes. But, I wasn’t going to push. Is there a reason you don’t want Shania to know?”
“Shania has been through a lot. Her life is finally free of drama. I just … didn’t want to bring it back onto her. Besides, I know what I have to do. I’m putting myself in a silly situation, it’ll be fine.”
I narrow my eyes at her, flag down a waiter and order some more drinks, and then say, “Speak up, woman.”
When our drinks arrive, we both lean back in the chairs and sip them, and Lucy starts talking. “It’s just a man I’m … I don’t know … talking to. I know I shouldn’t be talking to him, hell, I don’t even fucking like him, well … I didn’t. I feel like I’m in the same situation as you I guess. I can’t seem to stop. Part of me wants to. Part of me doesn’t. I’m not usually like this.”
“And you didn’t want to tell Shania that?”
“No, I didn’t, because she’s my sister and she’ll try to protect me, offer advice, and probably get pissed if I don’t follow it. I just need someone else to talk to, I guess.”
I feel like she isn’t telling me the whole truth, but I’m not going to push her to open up more. Not if she doesn’t want to. It’s her business, it isn’t mine. I can only help with what she lets me help her with.
“So this man, how come he isn’t good for you? Is he bad? Mean? Does he have a foot fetish? I hear men with foot fetishes are pretty damned mean.”
Lucy laughs. “He doesn’t have a foot fetish. At least, I don’t think he does.”
“Then what’s the issue?” I ask, sipping my drink.
She exhales. “Honestly, he’s just not the right man for me. There are reasons, it isn’t that he’s horrible. I mean, I thought he was but I was wrong. It’s just that he doesn’t belong to me you know?”
“Oh, my god,” I gasp. “Is he married? Lucy!”
“No,” she laughs, putting her hands up. “No, he’s not married. He’s just not my business I suppose. It’s hard to explain without going into detail, but the cold hard truth is that I need to stay away from him. For more reasons than one, and I’m finding that very hard to do.”
“Maybe we can help each other?” I suggest.
> Hell, I’m willing to take anything right now.
“That’s not a bad idea,” she says as smiles. “Maybe we can help each other. If you’re feeling tempted, you come to me, and I’ll do the same. We need to get our mojo back. We’re falling victim to the man charm!”
I laugh and extend my hand. “It’s a deal.”
“Deal!”
We both laugh.
I think Lucy and I might just become very good friends.
I could always use more friends.
~*~*~*~
“Erin, wake up!”
Someone is shaking me.
I groan and try to swat at the hands that insist on curling around my shoulders and shaking. Can’t they see I’m sleeping? I’m on vacation for crying out loud.
“Erin!”
I open my eyes, and it’s mostly still dark out except for the dull glow of the lamp beside my bed. As I come to a little more, I can hear voices in the room. Muffled voices, but voices all the same. I reach up and rub my eyes, and murmur, “Ellie?”
“You have to get up.”
“What time is it?” I croak.
“It’s like five am, but there is a hurricane coming, and we all have to go into the emergency room.”
What?
What did she say?
Hurricane? As in big scary wind and rain storm that knocks trees down, ruins buildings, and generally causes devastation wherever it goes? That hurricane? She can’t be serious. This must be a dream. I sit up, rubbing my eyes, and I can hear heavy rain falling outside the room. That and wind. It isn’t so bad, not as of yet, but I can hear it hammering against the window. It was windy all day today, and rainy, but we weren’t really listening to the news, or the weather, so we just assumed it was a shitty day and it would be all clear tomorrow.
We drank, we laughed, I successfully avoided Finn all day, and then I came to bed, feeling pretty damn good.
Now there is some hurricane coming?
Come on.
“Is this a joke?” I ask her, throwing my legs out of the bed, still groggy from sleep. I was having an awesome sleep. Even better dreams.
Dammit.
“No,” she tells me, grabbing some of my things and shoving them into a bag. “I wish it was. But apparently they thought it was going to go in a different direction, but it looks like it’s going to come toward us. Not for another twenty-four hours or so, but the weather will only get worse.”
“Are you okay?” I ask her, studying her. “Have you got everything you need? Don’t worry about me!”
She smiles, grabbing my shoulders. “Of course, Slater took care of it. Come on, we’re going to the main lobby. The manager called a meeting to let us know what action is going to be taken.”
I frown but quickly get dressed, run a brush through my hair, grab my cell phone, and walk out into the living area of my room. Everyone is there, including Finn, who stares at me with those damned gorgeous eyes. I look away, instead asking Lincoln, “Did anyone know about this?”
He shakes his head. “Nobody was really listenin’ to the weather, I guess the hotel staff were. They’re only pullin’ us aside as a precaution, but they have to be safe, you know? Hopefully it’ll turn away.”
“This sucks.” Indi rubs her arms, moving closer to Finn.
Yep. Sucks alright.
“Well, let’s go,” Malakai says, tucking Amalie into his side. “Find out what the fuck is goin’ on.”
We all take our small bags, and head down to the lobby. I make a point of walking as far away from Finn as I can, instead falling in step beside Lucy.
“What a shitty way to finish up our vacation,” she huffs, swinging her bag by her side.
“You’re telling me.” I purse my lips. “I can’t believe we didn’t know there was a hurricane coming.”
“Apparently it is only just starting to turn, but wasn’t meant to be coming near the island …” she tells me.
Makes sense.
Those things have a mind of their own.
We reach the lobby where all the other guests are waiting. We check off our names with staff and five minutes later a man comes up to the microphone at the reception desk, clears his throat, and gets our attention.
Then he starts talking.
“Ladies and gentleman, I’m very sorry to wake you so early in the morning. I wouldn’t if I didn’t have to, but I hope you understand that your safety is our number one concern. As it stands, we’re on watch for Hurricane Lydia, which is currently looking like it’s tracking in our direction. We’re unsure at this stage if it’ll make impact on the island or if it’ll change direction and leave. For safety reasons, we cannot let anyone out of the hotel until we’re sure. If it continues to track closer, we’ll move you to our emergency bunker, where we can assure your safety. Are there any questions?”
I listen as a few people ask questions. One lady wants to know when we’ll have more information, to which she is informed every time they get an update we’ll know. Another asks if it’s safe in our rooms, to which we’re told not at this stage, it is better if we’re in one area together. The conference room has been set up to keep us all comfortable. Another man asks about the safety of the bunker, to which he assured that it is safe and no harm will come to us.
Great.
This sounds absolutely smashing.
“Well,” Slater mutters, “guess we’re spendin’ our day in the fuckin’ conference room.”
“The guy said there are beds,” Shania yawns, “I’m going to lay in one. I need to go back to sleep.”
We all make our way to the conference room, which isn’t that big, but they’ve opened the hall beside it where they have functions and have set it up with food tables, some chairs, and some pull out beds. Not a great deal, but a few. There are televisions on the walls, playing the news so people can keep updated. Shania and Lincoln go to one of the pull-out beds and he sits on it, letting her lie against him on his lap.
I find a chair and sit on it. I’m not tired. Not at all.
I’m a little stressed, if I’m being honest.
“Hey.”
I flinch at the sound of Finn’s voice and glance next to me to see him sitting down. I didn’t even hear him approach, dammit.
“Hey,” I say back, keeping my voice calm, relaxed, and unbothered. I don’t need to be worrying about this right now.
“Hurricane. Fuckin’ awesome.”
He’s being sarcastic, and I smile lightly and agree. “Yeah, what a way to enjoy a vacation.”
He nods. “Everything okay with you?”
I turn and stare at him. “Sure, why wouldn’t it be?”
He raises his brows. “You’ve practically pushed little old ladies out of the way to get away from me in this last day.”
I snort, unable to stop it. That was funny. “That’s a little dramatic, don’t you think?”
He raises his brows.
I grin sheepishly.
“Honestly, though, what’s the issue?”
I blink and then take a breath and say, “Look, Finn, we’ve both made it pretty clear we’re after different things. I’m not going to allow myself to get hurt, you’re not interested in anything more. I figured it’s best if we just go our separate ways. Sorry.”
He studies me, narrowing his eyes, but before he can open his mouth to speak, one of the staff members starts speaking on the loud speaker. “We’ve got a lot of stuff to put away in case we’re hit, and we’re looking for volunteers to give us a hand. The quicker we can get things done the better. If you’re willing to help, please come over and stand by the door. For now, it’s safe. As mentioned, your safety is our number one concern. We’ll have you back here before things get too dangerous. It is dark still, but we’re going to do as much as we can regardless. It’ll be light before we know it and we can continue.”
“I’m going to help,” I say quickly. I’d much rather help than sit around waiting, and besides, it’s an excuse not to finish the conversation wi
th Finn.
I stand and rush off before Finn can say another word. I wait with the group of people, everyone except Amalie—because Malakai refuses to let her outside if there is any risk to her—and Indi line up to help. I notice Indi walks over and talks to Finn. I frown, watching their exchange. He catches me watching, and I quickly look away, cheeks burning, because now he probably thinks I’m some sort of crazy person. God only knows how badly I was frowning just then.
“Hey.”
I look up to see a very handsome guy standing next to me wearing a staff uniform. They’re all moving through the group, grabbing people to help them out. Of course hot guy with gorgeous thick hair, blue eyes, and olive skin stops by me. I’m not complaining. I give him my best smile and say, “I might look like I can’t lift heavy things, but I can absolutely lift heavy things. I’m a hard worker. Pick me, you won’t be disappointed.”
He bursts out laughing and says, “You sound like fun. I’m in. My name is Lyle, what’s yours?”
“I’m Erin.”
“Well, Erin, I’m going to be doing some pretty hard work, are you sure you’re up for it? There will be tree cutting, and branch pulling, and a lot of dirt …”
I grin. “Challenge accepted. Where do we start?”
He chuckles and hands me a two-way radio, gives me some clothes to wear that make me look like a very very hot gardener —not really but we don’t judge around here—and we grab some water, some boots, and I meet him out the front. We get into one of the hotel buggies and make our way toward the back of the hotel. It’s quite windy out, nothing too major, but enough to make me hang onto my hair to stop it flicking across my face. It’s also quite dark still, even though all the spotlights around the hotel are on, lighting it up well enough for us to navigate around. I can see the sun beginning to rise in the distance.
“How long have you worked here?” I ask Lyle as we travel toward our destination.
“About two years. I love it.”
“I don’t blame you,” I tell him. “It’s lovely.”
“What about you? What brings you here?” he yells over the wind as we come to a stop near a bunch of overhanging trees. There is a large metal bin a few yards away, empty and ready to be filled.