by Bella Jewel
If that isn’t a reason to celebrate, I don’t know what is.
Of course, all the ladies wanted the latest gossip as soon as I arrived.
So, I gave it to them.
I laugh at Saskia’s comment. “I have no idea. Apparently, he feels different with me. That’s either a total fuck boy excuse to keep me sleeping with him, or he’s genuine. I don’t think Finn is a fuck boy, but you just never know …”
“Finn is totally not a fuck boy,” Charlie says, laughing. “He’s been around, he likes the ladies, but I don’t think he’s the sort to ask a woman to stick around just for sex. He can get sex anywhere. I think he genuinely likes you. Good for you, girl.”
“If only Indi wasn’t causing a problem.” Ellie frowns. “She’s an issue really, isn’t she?”
I exhale and then nod. “She really is.”
“Do you think she’s truly pregnant?” Amalie asks, looking concerned over the fact that someone would even attempt a lie like that.
“I don’t know,” I tell them all in general. “Finn says she wouldn’t pee on the test in front of him, so he’s suspicious. What did she honestly think she would get out of it, if she’s not truly pregnant? Finn isn’t the sort of man who is just going to drop everything and be a father, hell, he’s not even sure how to be a boyfriend.”
“You’re right about that,” Saskia agrees. “Whatever twisted idea Indi has in her head, it’ll backfire. Finn isn’t the sort of man to play games. If she’s playing one, he’ll never speak to her again, and she’ll end up with nothing. She could have, at the very least, had a friend in Finn.”
“She’s got this weird obsession with the Knight brothers,” Ellie observes. “I wonder if Damon will be next?”
“Oh,” I laugh. “Probably. I wonder what it is? I know they’re hot and all, but lady, give it up.”
“Maybe there is some twisted past there, and she has a reason for wanting one of them …” Charlie wiggles her brows.
“You ladies are fuckin’ twisted.”
We all look up to see Koda striding toward us, beer in hand, looking so damned fine it’s hard not to stare at him. That Charlie is one lucky lady, no doubt.
“How do you suppose that is?” Charlie asks him, tipping her head back for a kiss and letting him give her a long, sexy one.
Damn.
“You’re all out here talkin’ about some poor girl. Maybe she’s just got self-esteem issues and wants attention.” He grins, winking at us all.
Cheeky shit.
“Dakoda,” Charlie scolds, “stop acting like you actually mean those pitiful words that just came out of your mouth.”
He scowls at her, and she blows him a kiss.
“Okay then, maybe she does have a past with them, and they don’t know who she is, or remember her, and maybe she’s out for revenge,” Koda adds.
“Or,” Mason says, joining the conversation from fuck knows where, “she slept with one of them once and she has a secret love child …”
“Oh god,” I laugh.
“Oh, fuck, I know,” Koda throws in again, “she used to be ugly, and they teased her at school, and now she’s going to take them all down, one by one …”
“You men are nuts!” Saskia laughs. “But, there is some logic behind some of it. Who knows, she could have a motive behind her actions. Damon should watch out. He’s probably next.”
“Poor Damon,” I giggle. “He’s so nice, too.”
“So freakin’ nice,” Charlie laughs.
“Poor guy,” Amalie says, a smile on her pretty face.
“Lord,” Ellie murmurs.
“Anyway, you fine people,” I say, standing. I want to keep drinking, to stay here all night long, but I promised Finn I’d meet him later, and honestly, I can’t stop fucking thinking about it. So, it’s time for me to go. “I have a very hot date. Please, if you don’t hear from me by tomorrow, it is probably that Indi has followed us to my house, killed me, kidnapped Finn, and we’re all in grave danger. Come in guns blazing.”
Koda chuckles. “We’re onto it, darlin’.”
“I feel much better knowing you’ve all got my back.” I laugh. “Catch you later!”
They all shout out a goodbye, and I walk to my car with a big grin on my face. I love these people, they’re like the family I never had. They’re fun, and yet so incredibly dangerous all at the same time. They have this way of making you feel like you matter, like they’d lay their lives down for you.
Then you have the Knight brothers, and they give out the same feel. The same dangerous, yet protective, vibe.
I’m pretty lucky, I’d say.
I get into my car and drive back to my apartment. I don’t know where Finn lives. All I know is that he works for Lincoln. I know about their underground fighting ring, everyone in the group does. I know Finn does work down there, I don’t think he fights though. I’m curious, I won’t lie. I want to see what goes on down there, to feel the atmosphere, to smell the sweat.
I think it could possibly be the most intense experience of my life.
I arrive at my apartment and climb out, heading inside and leaving the door unlocked for Finn whenever he arrives. I have a shower, shave every damn thing, and then get changed into a cute little nighty that I have no doubt he’ll enjoy removing. I’ll enjoy it, even more. Then, I pop a bottle of wine, sit on the sofa and start enjoying a glass.
Finn arrives an hour later, looking like he’s walked straight out of fucking heaven and into my house.
Fuck me.
Did I just think that?
What the hell is wrong with me?
I’m whipped.
Damn it.
“Hey,” he says, his eyes dipping to my nighty, slowing dragging over the soft material, and stopping on the exact spot my breasts gently bulge out the top.
Yeah, I know this one looks good on me.
Judging by the look on his face, he’s impressed.
“Better put somethin’ over that fuckin’ little nighty or I won’t even get a hello in before my face is buried between those sweet fuckin’ legs.”
“Maybe I don’t want a hello …” I say, staring at him through hooded lashes.
He drops his jacket, kicks off his boots, and is near me in a split second. I barely get the time to gasp out in surprise when he has the glass out of my hand, has flipped me onto my back, and is tearing my panties off with such ferocity, I can do nothing but lie there panting, unsure what I’m supposed to do except lay here and take it.
Sex like this. It’s the best.
He drops down between my legs, and has his mouth buried in my pussy, before I can even gasp his name.
But, after a few seconds, boy do I gasp his name.
I scream and writhe as his tongue attacks me, sliding, flicking, lips suctioning around my clit and sucking. I scream, gripping his hair, as an orgasm unlike any other orgasm I’ve had rocks my body, and I find myself trashing and bellowing in my own apartment, so loud the neighbors can probably hear.
And I don’t fucking care.
It feels amazing.
Finn lifts his head, looking at me with that hungry, feral expression. “Goin’ to fuck you now, so fuckin’ hard, lean over the back of the sofa.”
I do as he asks, lifting my tingling body up and bending over the back of the sofa. Finn’s hands lift my nighty and roam over my bottom, gliding softly, occasionally squeezing, making me gasp when he slips not one, but two fingers inside my pussy. I need this. I’ve needed this all damned day.
Hell, if I’m being honest, I just need Finn.
More than anything right now.
And when he sinks into me, his cock filling me, his hard body over mine, our breaths joining in blissful pleasure, I feel good.
I feel happy.
I feel like maybe, just maybe, things are going to work out.
Finally.
~*~*~*~
“She gave you this?” I ask Finn, wearing nothing but his shirt, tucked in the crook of his ar
m on the sofa, after we made love twice, he went down on me twice, and then we had a shower together where his fingers glided through my pussy, bringing me once again to a pleasure I didn’t think I could find again, considering I’d cum so many times already.
Finn found it.
Of course he did.
Now, I’m in his shirt, we’re sitting together waiting for our Chinese take out to be delivered, and he killed the whole moment by thrusting a sonogram at me. A black and white picture of a tiny bean. A baby. His baby. He said Indi gave it to him, he also told me that she peed on a stick when he was there, and it was positive. He said he didn’t watch her do it, but he did see the result.
It feels a little like my happy bubble has just been burst.
Yet I know it’s not his fault, of course it isn’t.
He’s stuck in a shitty situation. I guess the question is, can I be stuck in it with him?
Is this the kind of complication I truly want? To be seeing a man who has a baby momma that clearly wants him, doesn’t want me in the picture, and will do whatever it takes to make her little dream come true. This isn’t black and white, hell, it’s so many different shades it’s hard to pin down just one.
It’s messy.
Really messy.
And it’ll only get messier as time goes on.
“Yeah, she gave it to me,” Finn mutters, staring at me, not the picture. “Told her before I left that I didn’t want a child. Not somethin’ I had in my plans. She got angry when I suggested we talk about the options, said she’s keepin’ it, and that’s that. I told her I can’t promise that I’ll be there, because right now I don’t know if that’s what I want.”
Wow, I’m surprised Finn was so brutally honest.
I’m not honestly sure what I thought his reaction would be, but I guessed he’d just support her because he had to, and that’s that.
It wouldn’t bode well for her plan, him not playing along.
“Do you think you’re truly okay with that?” I ask him, still staring at the picture.
Her name isn’t on it. That strikes me as strange. I don’t say anything, though. Maybe that particular hospital doesn’t print these with a name on top.
I make a note of the hospital name. Just in case.
“Okay with what?” he asks me.
“With just not being in your child’s life? I mean, right now, it seems easy. But when there is a little version of you running around, entering this world alone, do you honestly think you can just be done with it and have nothing to do with them …”
Finn goes silent. For so long I wonder if I’ve said the wrong thing.
Finally, he speaks.
“I’m not a shit person, you know? But I’m also not ready to be a father, fuck, I’m only just tryin’ out being exclusive with a woman for the first time in my life. How can I give that child what it deserves? I can’t, Erin. I’m not good inside, not right to raise a child. It would be better off without me. That would be the least selfish thing I could do. Would it bother me, knowin’ he or she was out there in the world and I wasn’t around? Yes. But it would bother me a whole lot fuckin’ more to ruin a child because I was selfish and not ready.”
He makes a valid point, and I have to respect him for it.
Everyone, and I mean everyone, including Indi, has a right to feel whatever it is they feel. Nobody has the right to tell someone that they’re wrong because they don’t agree with them.
“So what are you going to do then?” I ask him, not going on any further about his choice.
“I don’t know. Financially I said I’ll support the baby and I will. But it’s goin’ to get complicated, can feel it in my gut. She’s not goin’ to just take my money and move on with her life, she’s goin’ to want more, I know she is. She’s not goin’ to just go away, and that could be an issue for me.”
“You’re right about that,” I agree. “I don’t think she’ll just go away, because I think she has hopes that this might change things, and until she realizes it won’t, she’s going to keep trying. Even then, she might think when you see your child, or if you spend time with it, things will change. I can’t fully blame her for that, I’d probably feel the same.”
Finn stares at me, his eyes scanning my face, his jaw tight. “I don’t fuckin’ know what to do, Erin. I really don’t.”
Dammit.
He’s being open with me.
And it feels so damned nice. So warm. I feel wanted. Like my opinion actually makes a difference in his world.
“One day at a time,” I say to him, reaching over and cupping his jaw, trying to ignore the intense feeling that rushes through my chest when my fingers graze over the stubble.
I want him.
More than I’ve wanted anything in my life.
And it terrifies me. These feelings terrify me, because they’re unfamiliar territory for me.
Him, too.
Which makes it even harder.
Neither of us knows what we’re doing, but we’re both certain on what we want.
Right?
Indi could be a problem, I can’t deny that. Am I okay with him having a child to another woman? That woman not particularly liking me too much? What if Finn does decide to be in the child’s life, am I okay with that?
There is so much to think about.
All of it very hard to make sense of when Finn is sitting here, smelling the way he does, making me feel the way he’s making me feel.
I can’t think straight.
“I know this is probably goin’ to be an issue for you …”
His words make me jolt, because it’s as if he was reading my mind.
“I don’t know what I feel, if I’m being honest. I think one day at a time is the best approach right now. I mean, we’re not even anything, really. We’ve agreed to see each other exclusively, as in fuck exclusively, but we’re nothing more than that, right now anyway. So, you worry about Indi, and I’ll just focus on us, and we’ll see where it goes. If it works out, awesome, if it doesn’t … well … we had fun.”
Finn goes silent again, and I twist in the chair and look at him. He’s staring at nothing. He’s thinking, about what, I don’t know.
I guess he’s got a lot on his plate.
The doorbell ringing jerks us both back into the here and now, and I get up and go over to it, opening it to find a young man holding our food. I pay him and he leaves with a thanks. Finn and I sit at the table, undoing the bags of food, and it almost seems like we’ve done this a thousand times before. Like it’s just … normal. Like we’ve been together forever. Like this is just who we are.
Until Finn’s phone rings.
He answers it midway through scooping out some cashew chicken. He stops and listens for a few minutes, then mutters, “Fuck. Stay there. Don’t do anythin’. I’m comin’.”
He hangs up the phone, drops the spoon, and looks to me. “Fuckin’ dick move, but I have to go. It’s an emergency.”
“Is everything okay?” I ask, concerned.
Has something happened to one of his brothers?
“A friend of mine is in trouble. I have to go.”
A friend of his?
I thought he didn’t have friends.
“What friend?” I ask, and then immediately want to beat myself for saying anything. My words sounded desperate and pathetic.
“Just someone I work with. Nothin’ major. Just got a car problem and is stuck.”
He’s lying.
Finn is lying to me.
And it feels like a kick to the stomach.
I force a smile as he grabs the back of my head, planting a kiss on my forehead, and I keep it there as he rushes out the door.
When he’s gone, my appetite goes with him, and I stare down at all the food.
I’m being lied to.
Already.
I’m not okay with that.
Dammit.
Why did he have to do that? Why?
Things were going so well.
ERIN
“So he just up and left?” Ellie asks me, legs crossed, eating my Chinese after I called her and begged her to come over because I needed to vent.
“Yep, he just left. No explanation, just that a friend was in trouble. It was an emergency, then he played it off as nothing more than car troubles. It made absolutely no sense, and I knew he was lying. Which disappoints me, because I got this big rant about me not telling him about Indi …”
“Hmmm,” Ellie says, frowning, “I don’t know why he would lie, but all of this seems a little off. Everything that’s happening with him right now.”
She’s right about that.
More than right.
Everything is just weird right now. From Indi to whatever it is he’s doing in his spare time. Something just isn’t adding up, and I’m not sure if I feel okay about it. I mean, don’t get me wrong, it’s not like it’s my place to be worried, but if I’m investing my time in him, I’d at least like to know what’s going on.
“Indi claims to have gotten a sonogram,” I tell her. “Finn showed me the picture tonight. You know, it was weird though. Her name wasn’t on the picture. I just don’t feel right about it. He said she peed on the stick when he was there, and it was positive, but he didn’t see her do it. I don’t like assuming she’s lying, but like I said, I just don’t feel right about it. Like something is off.”
“You think she would go to such great lengths to fake a pregnancy?” Ellie asks, eyes wide.
“I don’t know, I don’t know her well enough, I don’t know her past. I know nothing about her, not really. So I can’t say for sure that she has it in her.”
“Have you thought about calling the place she got the picture taken, and asking the question?”
“They wouldn’t give me that kind of information …” I say, frowning.
“If you claimed to be Indi, just wanting another copy of the picture, they might.”