by Bella Jewel
Will Brody ever truly be freed of his demons?
“I don’t honestly know, that’s the truth. I don’t know if Brody will ever be okay again, even if he gets what he’s looking for now.”
“I think you could be right, but I also know, from experience with my own brothers, love can pull you out of some pretty fucked up shit.”
“If you’re talking about his love for me, that didn’t stop him from leaving me heart broken, alone, and terrified.”
“Maybe he did that because he loves you.”
I look to Damon and he gives me a warm smile. “Sometimes, we do things because we want to protect someone. Maybe in Brody’s eyes, him leaving and letting you go was because he wanted to protect you, to let you move on, to give you something he didn’t think he could give you.”
I never really thought of it like that.
I was always just so hurt, so angry, so broken that Brody left me. I never considered that he may have done it to save me.
“I didn’t think of it like that,” I tell Damon.
“Sometimes looking at it in a completely different way will change how you see everything.”
He’s right about that. No doubt about it.
“Are you ready to find a spot out back to watch? Lincoln has a viewing platform that he watches from; you can sit in there with us.”
“Okay, thanks, that’s kind of you.”
Damon points to where we’re going to sit and I follow him down a hall, through a door, and out back where there is indeed a platform. It’s a little higher, and must have one-sided glass because I didn’t see it when I was down near the ring.
“Is this one-sided glass?”
Damon nods. “Lincoln likes to keep an eye on things without anyone knowing he’s keeping an eye on things. It has saved us a lot of dramas.”
“I bet.”
I take a seat just as the door opens and Lincoln strolls in, followed by Slater. I suddenly feel very aware of myself in this room with three gorgeous men. It takes me back to a time when I hung out with another set of three gorgeous men. When we used to laugh. Joke. Enjoy each other. Before things went bad. Before Brody found his darkness.
“I dare you to go over to the neighbor’s house in just your underwear and ask if you can borrow their washer because you pooped your pants.” I laugh hysterically.
Ripley shakes his head. “No fucking way! No way!”
“Come on, man.” Blade grins. “You have to accept the dare. She just had to run down the street in just her bra and panties, screaming God Save the Queen.”
Yep. I just did that.
Thanks to Ripley’s horrid dare. Now he’s getting one back. It’s his turn to feel the shame.
“I’m not going to tell someone I pooped my pants. Besides, the neighbor has a really hot son; I’m not going to ruin my chances with him, if he thinks I’m forever the guy that shat himself.”
I burst out laughing. Aria, too. “Oh, my god, that’s so funny, I can’t even.”
“Gotta do it, bro.” Brody chuckles, nudging Lee.
“Nope. No way.”
Ripley crosses his arms, refusing to move. He looks to me, a stern expression on his face.
“You have to, fair is fair.” I smile at him.
“Jesus,” he growls. “I’ll never hear the end of it if I don’t. Fine. Fine. But if you kill my love interest, I’m going to lose my shit.”
I grin at him. “Off with the shorts, handsome.”
He mutters and reaches down, pulling off his shorts until he’s just in his underwear. Then, clutching his pants to his chest, he strolls toward the neighbor’s house. Of course we all follow him, giggling and laughing, and hide behind some bushes and watch as he goes up to their place and knocks on the door.
A few minutes later, a very handsome young man answers.
“Oh, no,” I giggle. “It’s the guy.”
“Poor thing.” Blade chuckles, “He’s never going to forgive us for this.”
“Do him some good.” Brody laughs, throwing his arm around my shoulder and tucking me into his side. I love when he does that.
We watch as Ripley says something to the man, who then starts to laugh. We’re expecting him to turn around, red faced, and come back, but instead he turns around, flips us the bird with a big grin, and disappears inside with him.
“That little shit!” Aria giggles. “He just picked up.”
“Fuckin’ nice one.” Blade grins.
“Guess that’s the end of our game,” Brody says, grabbing me and pulling me closer, “Me and my lady have some catching up to do, so we’ll catch you all later.”
His lady.
Sigh.
That feels really damn nice.
“What do you think?”
I’m snapped out of my memory by Damon asking me a question. I blink a few times, trying to push down the influx of emotions I feel, and say, “It’s really cool up here. I like it.”
“Wait until the fight starts,” Lincoln says, “You’ll enjoy the atmosphere.”
I hope so.
Either that or I’ll freak out.
I guess we’ll see, won’t we?
7
THEN – BRODY
“You gotta stop, man,” I say to Mick, staring at his body as he shivers on the floor.
Broken.
Scared.
Confused.
“Drugs are makin’ it so much worse. You gotta stop.”
“Can’t fuckin’ stop,” Mick says, his voice shivering. “Only thing that makes the pain go away.”
“Let me help you. Take you to someone, get the help you need, get you back on track. Man, you gotta stop this. Fighting, drugs, drinking…it’s makin’ it all worse.”
“What would you know?” he spits, head whipping around until he’s glaring at me. “You’ve been here, livin’ your perfect little life, while I’ve been out there alone. Have no fuckin’ family that gives a crap about me. Was always you, Brody, and you bailed on me.”
“I changed my mind,” I growl. “Doesn’t mean I bailed.”
“We made a promise that we’d go in together. Maybe if we did, you’d understand, but you don’t. You’ll never know what nightmare lives in my mind.”
“Then let me get you help!”
I’m so fuckin’ frustrated.
My friend is sinking.
Little by little.
Day by day.
He screams when he sleeps. When he’s awake he’s empty. He’s got people after him already for drugs. He’s scared. He’s anxious. He’s depressed. He’s everything one person shouldn’t be, and he won’t accept any type of help.
I’ve been here before. With Ashley.
Fuckin’ know better than to leave him now.
I won’t leave him.
I’ll get him through. One way or another.
But he isn’t makin’ that easy.
“Get off my back,” he bellows, grabbing fistfuls of his hair in his hands. “Get off my fuckin’ back, Brody. I can’t fuckin’ breathe as it is.”
Fuck.
Push?
Don’t push?
“What do you want me to do then, watch you drown? I’m not goin’ to do that.”
“Leave me the fuck alone to do what I gotta do is what I want you to do…”
His eyes stare through me, as if I’m not here.
“Just leave me the fuck alone,” he murmurs, dropping his head back into his hands and shivering on the cold floor.
“At least let me get you into bed,” I growl, grabbing him under his arms and hauling him up.
Mick was a big man before, but because of the drugs he’s lost weight and is now sickly looking.
Fuck.
I drag him to his room, him only taking a few steps at a time to help me. I reach his bed and throw him down onto it. He rolls to his side and starts mumbling to himself.
He’s breaking.
A little bit more every day.
His mind is attacking him.
/>
And there is nothing I can do about it.
I don’t know what to do anymore.
I just don’t fuckin’ know.
8
THEN – MELAINE
“Oh,” I cry, rushing around the gorgeous house set on the beach— private, tranquil, perfect. “This is so amazing!”
“You’re telling me.” Aria claps. “We’re going to have so much fun here.”
“You think?” I giggle. “It’s going to be amazing.”
“C’mon,” Brody says, hooking an arm around my waist, “let’s go and find a room, settle in.”
Aria wiggles her brows. “Don’t do anything I wouldn’t do.”
I laugh and follow Brody up the stairs of the gorgeous two level home. I can hear the waves crashing on the beach outside as we walk, slamming against the shore, sending a beautiful sound through the house. It’s relaxing, and calm, and just what we need right now.
“This is gorgeous,” I say to Brody when we enter our room, with a queen bed overlooking the ocean.
Two big double doors lead out onto a private deck.
“You’re tellin’ me,” he murmurs, pulling me close. “Know what else is gorgeous?”
I spin around in his arms. “I don’t know, tell me?”
He grins down at me, cupping my face in his hands. “You.”
“Oh.” I play innocent. “And what will you do with all this beauty?”
“I’m goin’ to take your clothes off and fuck you over that balcony. So everyone can hear you whine my name.”
I bite my bottom lip. “I won’t say no.”
His brows go up.
He probably expected me to say something else, but the truth is, with Mick around, Brody and I haven’t had much time to make love. I miss him. I crave his body. I crave everything to do with him. Hell, I’d settle with making out with him for a few minutes. I’m that desperate for him. I need my Brody fix, one way or another.
“Well then,” he growls, “better not keep my lady waiting.”
He grabs the hem of my dress and lifts it over my head, tossing it onto the ground. His hands tangle into my hair and he starts kissing me, slow at first, and then deeper, until I’m jelly in his grips. I want so much more, I want to feel every inch of him. I press my body closer and his hands slide down, over my shoulders and down my back until they reach my hips. He hauls me up against him, kissing me with a ferocity I haven’t felt in months.
“I’ve missed you,” I murmur against his lips as he pulls away and starts kissing a trail down my neck.
“I’ve missed you too, baby.”
His fingers slip into my panties, gently sliding over the curve of my ass cheek, then he moves around the front until he finds my pussy, aching and wet. I need him. I want it to go slow, feel as he kisses and devours every inch of my body, yet at the same time, I really want it to go fast and hard.
His fingers slip between my folds, finding my aching clit, and he starts massaging it, bringing me to my tiptoes as I try to get closer, try to feel more. “Brody,” I whimper, pressing into him.
“Fuck,” he groans. “You’re so fuckin’ wet. I can’t wait to sink my cock into you.”
“Oh, god,” I moan as his fingers move faster, and pleasure starts building in my core.
I’m so close.
It feels so damned good.
Someone knocks on the door.
Brody growls, slowing his fingers but not stopping them. He pulls his mouth from mine, where he had just started kissing me again, and barks, “What?”
“Sorry to interrupt, man,” Blade says through the door, “but your boy is losin’ his shit.”
His boy?
Mick?
Is he talking about Mick?
“What do you mean?” Brody asks, and with that question, I feel all the passion leave us. His fingers stop moving, my orgasm slips away, and bitter disappointment fills my chest. I stay clinging to him, though, hoping maybe it’s nothing major, and Blade will be able to deal with it.
But deep down I know that’s highly unlikely.
“Heard a loud noise, started ragin’ and carryin’ on. Tried to calm him down, but he stormed out. Off down to the beach somewhere. Not sure it’s safe for him to be around people. Pretty sure he drank the whole way here, so he’s not sober.”
“Fuck,” Brody growls, letting me go. Then he calls out to Blade, “I’m comin’.”
I look to Brody with pleading eyes. All I wanted was five minutes, five damned minutes with my guy. “You’re going to leave?” I whisper, and I can’t hide the sadness in my voice.
“Yes,” Brody says. “I have to. He could do something he’ll regret. I’m sorry; I’ll make it up to you later.”
I step away, angry.
I’m so sick of being pushed aside. I know Mick needs help, and I’m not a monster, I’d never keep someone from help, but the problem is he’s on a dark and twisted spiral downward and he’s not going to get any better without professional help. There is only so much Brody can do for him. Eventually, he’s going to cause someone harm.
“You’re angry,” Brody says, grabbing a pair of boots from his suitcase and pulling them on.
“Yes, I am, because I’ve barely seen you. Mick is causing problems, Brody.”
“He’s fuckin’ unwell, Melanie,” Brody growls. “He’s seen shit you couldn’t even begin to understand.”
Fuck.
I know that.
I’m not trying to put aside what Mick’s feeling. “I understand that, and I’m happy to help him, but right now, he’s on a dangerous path, and he’s taking you with him. He needs help, Brody. Serious help. The kind of help we can’t give him.”
“He’ll come good.”
“He won’t,” I cry. “He won’t!”
“I’m not discussing this with you,” Brody growls, his voice laced with disappointment in me.
I don’t want to disappoint him. I don’t want to stop him giving Mick the help he needs. I just think we’re not the only ones who should be giving it. He needs a professional. I understand that I’ll never grasp what goes on over there, but I do know a dangerous man when I see one, and Mick is dangerous. He’s gone so far beyond himself that he doesn’t care about what he does to anyone.
He scares me.
“I’m sorry,” I say, my voice still angry, even though I’m trying to make it stop. “I just wish you’d see what’s going on …”
“What I see,” Brody says, grabbing his hat and his phone, “is a man that needs my fuckin’ help, and a woman who doesn’t even try to understand.”
Then he storms out, slamming the door.
I drop my head in shame and in confusion.
I don’t know who’s right here.
Brody or me.
All I know is this could be the end of us if it doesn’t stop soon.
~*~*~*~
“Are you okay, honey?” Aria asks, handing me another beer as we sit around the bonfire we lit on the beach.
“I don’t know where Brody is,” I tell her, frustrated. I’ve spent way too long overthinking things, and now I’m even angrier that Brody refuses to listen to me. “And we had a fight before he went. He said he’s disappointed in me.”
Blade looks over, and says, “Because of Mick?”
I nod.
“Yep, because I told him I was upset that he was spending all his time with Mick and that he needs professional help. I didn’t mean it sound like I don’t care about Mick, because I do, but he scares me, if I’m being honest. He’s unstable. Brody doesn’t agree.”
Blade nods, sipping his beer. “Can understand it from both sides. I know why Brody is lookin’ out for him, because he thinks he owes it to him, for some twisted reason. I agree with you, too, though. Mick is unstable. He’s goin’ to hurt himself, or worse, someone else, if he doesn’t get help soon.”
“I agree,” Aria says. “Brody shouldn’t have put him so close to you both. He could have helped him without moving him in.”
“I didn’t mind at the time,” I tell her. “I still don’t. It’s just Mick is now drinking a lot, and fighting, and getting into trouble. He pushed Brody down the stairs not that long ago. His temper is short. I can’t begin to imagine what is going on in his head, nor do I try to figure it out. He’s been through a lot, I totally respect that. But I also know right now he’s dangerous, and Brody won’t hear me out.”
“Brody is stubborn like that,” Blade mutters. “He holds this one extra close because he feels like he let Mick down, and after what happened to him all those years ago, he takes this shit on way too seriously.”
I exhale, because I know that’s true, but I also know that if Brody isn’t careful, this stuff with Mick will consume him and possibly get him hurt. I hate that he sees me as not caring, or unsympathetic, but that’s not the case at all. I do care. More than he knows.
“I know,” I agree. “I do want to have his back, but Mick, he scares me. He’s dangerous, walking on a fine line that will snap someday soon and anyone on it with him will get taken down. I don’t want that to be Brody.”
“I get that same vibe,” Aria admits. “There is something off about him for sure.”
“My advice to you is talk to Brody about it, calmly, tell him exactly what your fear is. He loves you, he’ll listen. I’ll chat to him, too. Try and get on his side and see if we can get Mick some help,” Blade tells me.
“I think the job idea is a good one, too,” Aria points out. “If he can commit to working, he’ll probably slowly come good. Even if Brody has to support him until he does.”
Blade nods. “Yeah, I’ll talk to some people I know, see if I can get him some work.”
“Thank you, guys.” I smile at them. “I don’t know where I’d be without you.”
“There’s the party!”
We turn to see Brody and Mick walking down the beach. Mick is drunk, it’s obvious even from here by the way he sways every few steps, but he seems calm, so hopefully Brody has made him chill out enough not to cause any more problems for the night.
I don’t make eye contact when Brody pulls up a seat beside me, Mick sitting on the other side of the fire, chatting to Blade. I don’t look at him, because I’m angry. I’m angry that he thinks so low of me. That he thinks I’m cold enough that I’d throw Mick out without even trying to help. That I don’t understand what he’s trying to do.