Dr. Rhetta looked away, lifting her eyebrows. “I see. You view yourself as the Head of State’s equal.”
Chastity dug her fingernails into her thighs as pure hatred coursed through her body. “That’s not what I mean. Of course, I’m not equal to the Head of State I’m just—”
“You’re just his administrator, Chastity. An administrator like any other.”
Chastity’s eyes welled with tears. Her head swung from side to side. “Why are you doing this? My partner hit me. Victor said my safety is a matter of national security. I shouldn’t be coupled with someone who feels the need to punish me because of my devotion to the State.”
“Chastity,” Dr. Rhetta frowned. “I think you are deluded. This isn’t really your fault, just a poor combination of your life’s circumstances.”
“Deluded? You don’t think Lance hit me? Look at my mouth.” She wanted to scream, but the fight had gone out of her. She hung her head, shielding her face with her hands as tears streamed down her cheeks.
“Chastity, I know you are upset, but there are some things you need to hear. Yes, I think you are deluded. You were raised by a mother who was given too many liberties—it appears she has passed a false sense of superiority onto you.”
“No.” Chastity shook her head, still hiding her face.
“Yes. If you were raised with a father, you would have known what a proper coupling looks like or how a home functions.”
“This isn’t fair.”
“This isn’t about fair.”
“Lance didn’t hit me because I didn’t have a father.” Her voice cracked, but she pushed her way through her tears to defend herself.
“Your parents were special, where you only turned out average. Special provisions were made for your mother as she had always been a valuable asset. You grew up assuming you were also special. I’m afraid that part of the blame also lies with Victor. His ideal of keeping one consistent administrator has fed into your false sense of superiority when, in reality, you are replaceable. Just as we immediately had someone available to fill in for you today, we could have a permanent replacement ready to take over your role by the weeks end.”
Chastity lost control of whatever restraint she formerly held. She lost her ability to speak and wept into her hands, dealing with her shame.
“I know this to be a fact,” Dr. Rhetta continued, “as you just shared with me your desire to live in the State House and boldly requested your coupling be undone. Maybe if you had been raised with a father, you would know that a coupling can’t be undone and maybe, you would also understand how to prioritize personal relations, unlike your mother.”
Chastity rested her forehead on the table, unable to keep herself upright any longer.
“Chastity, I know you must be disappointed, but as I said, it’s not your fault you weren’t raised in a proper home. This is why we are having this conversation.” Dr. Rhetta’s eyes brightened. “This is something I feel you can learn. You are bright, I’m sure you will adapt quickly once you understand what is expected of you.”
Chastity felt her tears lessen as a numbness washed over her.
“Now, Chastity, I had a thorough conversation with your partner today. I am pleased to tell you, he is on board with making improvements to your relationship. I’ll have you know, he is sorry he lashed out at you. He knows he has a temper and has agreed to meet with me a few more times to work on some anger management. I assure you, your home is safe.”
Chastity’s head lifted at her words. “You’re sending me home?”
Dr. Rhetta blinked. “Why, of course. As I said, he has agreed to anger management, and understands that you will learn to better manage your time in return. He understands you are not having an affair with Victor and now feels silly about the accusation.”
“So that’s it? He just gets away with hitting me,” her voice broke, and she swallowed hard to keep her tears at bay, “and now it’s all better?”
Dr. Rhetta pursed her lips. “Again, Chastity, that way of thinking is stemming from that fact you weren’t raised with a father. I explained how your childhood was distorted, and he now knows he shouldn’t let your absence fuel his insecurities. He wants to work to make this coupling a successful one. I recommend you do the same if you would like to keep your position at the State House.”
Bile instantly rose in her throat. She swallowed hard to push it down. “You would really take that away from me if I don’t make Lance happy?”
Dr. Rhetta looked at her squarely. “Honestly, I thought a transfer would do you some good. Maybe if you took a step back from your duty and the Council, you could improve your relationship and take the time to learn about your place in your home, and your civil duty. Victor, however, thought it severe. He felt your youth is a factor and wanted you to have an opportunity to change before such action is taken.”
Chastity stared blankly at the table.
Dr. Rhetta watched her intently before she spoke again. “I think you should take the rest of the afternoon as free time and get some rest. You will have an easier time repairing your relationship with a clear head.”
Chastity stood from the table. Although she didn’t feel capable of facing Lance, she would rather spend a hundred nights with him than another second with this doctor.
“And Chastity, things might be tense at home for a while, but as long as you are both working on your relationship, I’m sure that together, you will get through this.”
***
She stood in front of the scanner, staring blankly at the lifeless pad on the wall. She didn’t feel capable of returning to her apartment—to her partner—yet couldn’t think of a single alternative.
There was nothing she could do; she was trapped. If she didn’t walk into her apartment and work on improving her relationship, everything she held dear would be taken from her.
And to think, my mother was jealous of my civil duty, thinking it was more important than hers. In reality, Cora had been right all along. There was nothing special about an administrator. We are all replaceable, especially me.
Tears threatened to escape, motivating her to reach out and place her hand on the listless device. She pushed her way into her apartment, dragging her feet with every step.
“You’re back.”
Her head snapped towards the sofa; she froze in place. For some reason, she expected Lance would still be at his civil duty. It appeared Dr Rhetta felt he needed the day off as well, as she seemed to see Lance as the victim of their situation.
He stood, keeping his distance from her. “Chastity, I’m really sorry. I never should have hit you last night. I was just so angry; I lost control. The thought of you with another man, it drove me crazy, you know?”
Chastity clenched her jaw and headed towards their bedroom.
“Just wait. I’m sorry, okay. I’m sorry. I know it was dumb of me, all of it.”
She halted before the door, turning back to him, realizing that Security would monitor them closely. If she didn’t give some indication she intended to work on their relationship, she would lose her administrative position at the State House tomorrow.
“Lance, I’m exhausted; I need some rest. I’ll talk to you later tonight.”
“Okay,” he huffed dramatically as though the thought of being apart pained him. “Maybe that’s best. You get some rest and I’ll be here for you at our evening meal. Whatever you need, Chastity.”
She nodded without lifting her head to look at him. She slipped inside the bedroom and closed the door, struggling to refrain from leaning her back against the door to ensure he didn’t follow her.
There was no lock on their bedroom door and from what she had gathered, no monitoring system either. If he followed her into the bedroom, there would be nothing there to protect her.
She walked around to her side of the bed, feeling there was no way she could sleep knowing he was so close by. She laid down, immediately curling onto her side to keep her back to the door. It wasn’t much to
make her feel safe, but it was something. If he opened that door, she could at least pretend to be sleeping.
She clamped her eyes shut, her entire body rigid. After a few minutes, she gained control of her breathing, forcing a semblance of calm. Moments later, she heard the door to their apartment close. The sound startled her, forcing her eyelids to clamp tightly together. She held her breath, waiting for another sound, anything to show his intentions.
After a few minutes of silence, the tension gripping her released from her body. Once she felt safe from him, she relaxed enough to slip into a half-sleep.
She felt as though she had hardly dozed off when Lance called her name and alerted her back to her nightmare.
“Chastity, it’s evening meal time. Will you come and eat with me?” He stood outside their bedroom door, barely peeking his head inside.
Chastity turned to look at him, realizing her nap had ended all too soon. She nodded, hoping he would stay outside of their bedroom.
She sat up, taking a few moments to gather her breath and to clear her head.
You can do this. Everything he says and does will be monitored by the State. As long as you are polite and appear to attempt to resolve our issues, you will be okay.
She walked into the washroom and hunched over the sink. After a deep breath, she splashed cold water on her face.
What if Dr. Rhetta is right? What if I’m not like other girls? What if I don’t know how to act around him?
She heaved a heavy breath, rolling her shoulders to loosen the tension.
No, that doesn’t give him the right to hit me. Could I have fueled his temper because of my ignorance? It is possible. But his response is not acceptable.
She inhaled deeply, bracing herself for what lay ahead of her. Chastity walked into the living room where Lance sat at the table with their two meal trays sitting adjacent on the table.
He looked up at her, smiling tensely and gestured to the open seat. “I take it you slept well. I had to call out to you a few times before you responded.”
Her mind was blank. Suddenly, the simplest small talk seemed impossible. She remained silent for too long, as Lance placed down his fork, his eyes burrowed into her.
“Yes, I suppose I did.” She finally managed through her dry throat. “What did you do with your free time?” She kept her gaze fixated on her plate. “I think I heard the door. Did you go somewhere?”
He nodded, diving back into his meal. “Yes, actually. I went to exercise. I am required to exercise during my break, as all Security personnel are—but Dr. Rhetta feels when I have the opportunity, I should partake in extra physical activity. She said it will help to clear my head and possibly burn off some extra steam. She thinks maybe part of my problem is too much sitting.”
Chastity nearly gagged on her meal. He hit me and she told him to get more exercise?
“I don’t know that we have spoken much about physical activity. Do you exercise?”
Chastity put down her fork, struggling to keep her expression neutral. “I usually do the minimum. It has been difficult enough for me to prioritize even the minimum, let alone do more.”
“Do you go directly after your civil duty? I never see you change or come home between.”
There was something in his tone, a flash in his eyes. Maybe it was simply the speed of his speech, overly excited to engage. Why do I feel interrogated?
The truth was, she used to do the minimum until she started her combat training. As that wasn’t something she could share with him, she would have to improvise. “I use some facilities at the State House. It is easier for me to fit it into a break, as you do, than to go after I finish my duty.”
He nodded. “Well, maybe we could go together sometime.”
She blinked rapidly, then licked her dry lips. “When would you recommend? We both exercise during our duties?”
He huffed. “Chastity, I’m just trying to find a way for us to spend time together.”
The shift in his temperament sent her nerves on fire. She leaned back in her chair, color flaring through her cheeks.
“Sorry,” he blurted, “that was a bit sharp. I’m just brainstorming. Dr. Rhetta says we have to find a way to spend more time together. I’m trying to think if it’s possible to multitask, you know, because you’re so busy. I have to exercise, I’m supposed to do it more, so maybe if we did it together, it would help.”
Her mind was spinning. She still couldn’t conceive how she would balance more time with Lance and her demanding schedule. All she knew was that she had to at least try. If she was removed from the State House, she would still be coupled with Lance. At least she had a civil duty she loved. If she lost that, she would lose everything she cared about.
“Why don’t we try it. I’ll see if I can leave the State House early one day a week.”
“One day a week?” He raised an eyebrow.
Her eyes instantly filled with tears. “Lance, I never worked to avoid you. I have no idea how I am supposed to manage my schedule differently. It will be difficult to find one evening a week, but I have to start somewhere.”
His eyes flicked towards the camera, then back towards her. “Of course. You’re right, it’s a start. A good start.”
He lifted his hand, placing it on top of hers. It took all her self-control to keep from recoiling from his touch. She swallowed hard, looking down at her hardly touched meal. As an excuse to retrieve her hand from his, she returned her attention to eating.
“I like your idea,” she lied, but thought it better their extra time together be spent in public view. “It is both practical and realistic. If this goes smoothly, I will see what I can do to find a second evening together.”
It was her eyes now which briefly flickered to the cameras. She didn’t know if she could find a single spare evening, let alone two, but it was what she needed to do, or at least it was what she needed to say while being closely monitored.
Chapter 30
Chastity
She walked down the hall, keeping her eyes cast to the floor. She couldn’t imagine facing Victor today, or any other day for that matter. She had to move past her shame and show Victor she was still the right person to assist him, despite her many flaws he was now aware of. She was certain Dr. Rhetta would debrief him in some way, seeing as how she came running to the State House involving him with her personal matters to begin with.
She gripped her pants on both sides, squeezing out her frustration on the fabric as opposed to pinching her actual flesh.
I just have to get this part over with. If I can show him that I can keep my personal life at home, he will see that I am still worthy as a Council member.
She stepped inside his office, he hardly looked up to acknowledge her appearance.
“Good morning, Chastity,” he kept his gaze on his tablet.
“Good morning, Victor.”
She stood to the side of him, awaiting his morning instruction.
“Why don’t you take a seat, Chastity.”
Her stomach churned. It wasn’t customary for her to sit while in his office. Her place was beside him. If he was inviting her to sit, it meant that he wanted to talk, or possibly deliver her reassignment.
His eyes darted up to her, and he flinched at the sight of her. “Chastity, my God.” He shook his head, taking a deep breath. “I’m sorry, you took me by surprise.”
“Surprise? You said hello to me when I came in.”
He shook his head. “I mean the bruising.” He paused hesitantly, filling the space between them with tension. “When you came in that night, your lip was split and a little swollen, but I wasn’t expecting this much bruising.”
Her eyes instantly welled with tears.
Victor looked down at his tablet. “I’m sorry, Chastity. I know you probably just want to get to work and put this incident behind you, but,” he lifted his tablet, fiddling with the angle, “I just think it would be best if we photographed your bruising over the next few days as it heals.”
<
br /> Chastity winced just as Victor placed his tablet back on his desk, realizing his desired photographs were already taken.
“You want to document this?”
He looked her squarely in the eyes, folding his hands in front of him. “Chastity, you may not know this, but as the Head of State, I oversee the big picture of the State and its policies, but I have no control over the finer details.”
Chastity didn’t know where he was leading her, but she felt it was necessary to meet his gaze. “Of course, Victor, you don’t have the time available to oversee the fine details of operations; that’s why you have people like me and many others working for you.”
Betrayed: Book Five of the State Series Page 20