The alarm on her tablet chimed. She nearly threw the tablet across the room in surprise. Her mother had quickly sent her reply.
Hi Chastity,
What a pleasant surprise!
I will absolutely make this work if you can walk to my common room. I will just wrap some items up and be there in 30 minutes. I want to spend as much time with you as I can!
I can’t wait to see you.
Love, Mom
Without hesitation, she placed her tablet back on the nightstand and immediately headed out.
Her face was pale, and her hands were cold and clammy as she walked to the common room. She pushed as fast as her weary legs would carry her through the long, nearly vacant halls.
When she reached the common room, she took a deep breath, trying to find the courage to carry on. She peered into the large, open space. To her surprise, she saw her mother sitting in the room’s center.
Nausea churned in her gut. Ursa was right. My mom knows something others don’t. It can’t be just a coincidence she selected the center table in a sparsely occupied room. The rebellion favors the center of the room so Security can’t overhear them, and my mother is a part of it.
Before her mind could still, Hope was on her feet, waving Chastity down, beaming. As she approached, her mother grabbed her into a tight embrace, while Chastity’s arms hung limply in front of her.
“My precious girl. I am so unbelievably happy to see you,” Hope whispered in her ear, gently stroking her hair.
Chastity allowed her to hold her, not wanting to make a scene.
“Chastity, I am so happy. It’s been far too long.”
Chastity nodded curtly, taking a seat at the table, tucked next to her mother, mirroring what Ursa had done during their meeting. “I didn’t come here for pleasantries, Mother, I need information.”
Hope’s skin blanched. She held Chastity’s gaze momentarily before she leaned in a little closer.
Chastity took a deep breath and began, “Who was my father?”
Hope flinched and pulled away.
“I know it’s not the man you said it was, so cut the crap. Who was my father? And why did you lie to me about him?”
Hope nodded as her eyes welled up with tears. “I guess it’s time for you to know.” Her voice cracked with every word. “I’m not going to start with any justification or rationalization, as I’m certain it will be clear when you know who he was, why I had to keep it a secret.”
Chastity leaned in and whispered in her ear. “Ursa thinks that the bedtime story you used to tell me is true.”
Hope nodded. “I’m so sorry, Chastity. I’ve been waiting for the right time to tell you your whole life, and now I’m afraid we’re out of time. This isn’t how I wanted it to happen.” She swallowed hard. “I was in an accident, the accident that killed my partner, and I lost my memory. There was a man who rescued me, he was a survivor from outside the dome and, without realizing I had somewhere to go back to, I walked away with him.”
Chastity pulled back, searching her mother’s face to see if she was serious. “How could he survive on the surface?”
Hope shook her head. “You have to understand, everything the State has ever said and done is a lie. Not only is the surface survivable, it was never damaged to begin with. I have yet to discover why they built this dome, but I can verify from living 6 months of my life with not only your father but his entire village, the surface is perfectly intact. I was coupled with him, although they didn’t call it that. We lived together, and I got pregnant with you. We were both overjoyed to start a family together.”
Hope pulled back from her, now struggling with her tears. She choked back a few sobs and wiped her eyes. “One thing I know for certain; he would have loved you with all of his heart. I’m so sorry to deny you a loving father. I truly am. I feel like everything I’ve done since the morning I decided to come back has been nothing but one mistake after another.”
Chastity’s stomach turned as nausea washed over her. “How could this be true? You’re saying that everything I’ve worked for my entire life is a lie.” Chastity looked down. “And why did you leave him? Why did you come back here when you know of these lies, and you had a partner who loved you?”
Hope shook her head, her body still shaking with sobs. “It was a mistake. I should have stayed there, but I was afraid you wouldn’t deliver safely. You were all I was thinking about, just keeping you safe. I know now that if I stayed, you would have had a better life in that community.”
Hope kept her head down, unable to meet her eyes. “I know you have a great life here. I know you love your civil duty and your partner. I know you feel differently, that you are glad to be here. But I wish I had done things differently.”
Chastity’s eyes stung with tears and she began to shake. “I couldn’t have children because of you. They sterilized me because of something you did. Because they are uncertain of my genetics.”
Her mother froze. “What do you mean? They sterilized you because of the accident.”
She shook her head. “No. I overheard it straight from Victor’s mouth. The Head of State himself is aware that my father isn’t who you say it is.”
Her mother shook her head back and forth, tears streaming down her cheeks. “Chastity, I’m so sorry. I know I did wrong by you and your father but—”
“You did wrong by me?” Chastity spat. “You ruined my life! I would’ve had a better life had anyone other than you been my mother.” Chastity stood from the table.
“Chastity, I am so sorry. I’m sorry I didn’t tell you.” She reached out, gripping onto Chastity’s arm. “I’m sorry I made all the wrong choices. You did deserve a better mother and life than what I gave you. Please understand, regardless of my shortcomings, I love you with all my heart and I always will. I loved your father very much. I left him to ensure you would live. It may not have been the right choice, but please understand, I did it because I love you. I loved you so much before you were even born, I sacrificed everything I had in order to protect you.”
Chastity jerked her hand away from her mother. “I’m sure you think you love me, but I think you only love yourself. You spent your whole life wrapped up in your own ego that you don’t think of anyone else. I don’t ever want to see or speak to you ever again. You are dead to me.”
Hope brought her hands to her face as she bent in half, sobbing through her grief-stricken state. She managed to say, “I understand Chastity, and I deserve it. Please, always remember that I love you, even if it doesn’t seem like it. I accept that I will never see you again.”
Her mother shook her head in agreement as she continued sobbing and Chastity left the room.
She walked back to the State House in a numb haze, hardly aware of her surroundings. She didn’t know what to do or how to feel, all she knew was that she had nothing left to hold on to, and now she was alone.
Most children had two parents, a mother and a father. She had been raised with two mothers, and both of them had let her down.
Chapter 35
Hope
The moment she accepted Chastity’s departure, she knew she had no choice but to pull herself together. She was making a spectacle of herself—drawing far too much attention. She forced herself to regain her composure. The occasional tear leaked against her will as she jaunted down the hall, back to her apartment.
When she reached her apartment, she headed straight for her tablet; she had an important message to send.
Ursa,
Is it possible for you to meet me before 20:00 tonight? I really need a friend right now.
I had to leave my duty today and am not in the right emotional state to return.
I know you have Colin and it might be impossible to get away, but it would mean the world to me.
With love, Hope
Hope sat back in her sofa, closing her eyes. She had to stabilize her emotions, keep a clear head. Instead of falling apart, she should have asked more questions. Although her min
d could hardly process her words as being true, Chastity said the Head of State knew of her deception.
So many questions flooded her mind, but there was one which dominated all others: why am I still alive?
She was not only a known traitor of the State, she was also past her prime. Her first instinct was to think she was spared because of her induction to the board, assessing the threat risk and strategies to protect the State from Josh’s village. But how did she get invited to that board when the Head of State knew about Chastity’s father?
As soon as she asked the question, the answer was blatantly clear. The irony of the situation wasn’t lost on her, neither was her luck. Just as the State segregated their scientific teams, they have done the same within their own inner circle. They operate all systems of the State on a need-to-know basis, a policy which has saved my life, twice.
Just because the Head of State knew of her treason, didn’t mean the board did as well. She flinched as another thought struck her. What if the Head of State recommended me, hoping I would divulge insight into the people outside? She gasped. What if I already have? What if my face said it all when I saw the picture of my husband standing outside the dome, peering in?
Her tablet alarmed, pulling her away from her thoughts. A reply came through from Ursa. Her heart nearly stopped. Excitement, dread, fear, joy, all muddled into a confusing blur.
Hope,
I can’t believe the timing of this! Long story short, had child care for Colin today and my plans didn’t take nearly as long as expected. I’ll come to your common room. Leaving now!
Ursa
She didn’t want to draw more attention to herself in her common room than she already had, but Ursa was already on her way. After a few cleansing breaths, Hope stepped inside the bathroom and splashed cold water on her salty tear-streaked face. The crisp temperature softened the red puffy skin around her eyes.
She sunk into the sofa, closing her eyes and resting her head. She needed to keep her emotions under control while she spoke with Ursa. This wasn’t a time for tears: they needed a plan.
Once she felt in control of herself again, she checked the time on her tablet. It was time to leave, and this conversation would change everything, forever.
She headed out the door, clenching her teeth so tight she was amazed they didn’t shatter. As walked into the common room, she felt a soft hand tap her shoulder. She spun around to see Ursa standing beside her.
Ursa instantly pulled her into a hug, squeezing her so tight she couldn’t breathe. “I am so happy to see you. I can’t believe the timing of this.” Ursa whispered in her ear. She pulled back to look Hope in the eyes, a rogue tear already rolling down her cheek. “I’ve had a bad day,” She darted her eyes around. “And of all days.”
Hope slid her hand onto Ursa’s shoulders, her eyes begging for Ursa to understand. “Stop, right now. You can’t cry. I’m hanging by a thread here… and it’s today. We need to talk.”
Ursa nodded, wiping the light moisture from her cheeks. They headed straight to the center table, practically sitting on each other’s lap.
Hope leaned in close. “We need to discuss the plan for tonight.”
Ursa shook her head. “I assumed as much when you put 20:00 in your message. You aren’t getting cold feet, are you?”
“No. I’ve decided I need to go with them.”
Ursa’s jaw fell open. “I thought you said they wouldn’t take you back? That they would all hate you for what you did to Josh.”
“Well, I’ve got bigger problems. I need to leave, now. I’m already on borrowed time. I will ensure the safety of their travel and I will take my chances with my friends in the north.”
Ursa shook her head. “What about Chastity?”
Rebellious tears escaped her eyes. “Staying will do nothing to change her fate. She resents me. I have to leave without her and hope that someday she finds her way back to me, with your help.”
It was now Ursa’s turn to let a few tears slip past her defenses. “I don’t think I can help her. If you go, I believe it is goodbye.”
Hope narrowed her eyes. “Did something happen? I spoke to her within the last hour. She had some questions—accusations really, and your name came up.”
Ursa nodded, her emotions threatening to break free from her control. “I spoke to her this morning. I’m sorry, I tried to tell her. I know you didn’t want me to, but her life is just so awful. I thought she would listen, but she couldn’t handle it.”
Hope flinched. “She is unhappy? I know she’s mad at me because she couldn’t have children, but I thought she loved her civil duty and partner.”
“Her partner hit her, and she resents him. They are removing her from her position because she tried to fight for the right to leave him—saying she isn’t compliant.”
White hot rage surged through her core, burning through her eyes, her extremities. “They are punishing her? And she has to stay with him?”
Ursa hiccupped, repressing a sob. “The State arranged for me to have child care to meet with her, as requested by her fancy psychologist—who is the worst human in all the State, by the way. When I heard how bad everything is, I thought maybe it was the right time for her to hear the truth, but clearly, I was wrong.”
Hope’s vision blurred, her heart beating erratically. “She must have messaged me as soon as she left you.” Hope shook her head. “She didn’t say anything about her partner or civil duty. She just confronted me, then said I destroyed her life and I am dead to her.” Her voice cracked, but pure hatred pushed her forward. “She also said something rather disturbing.”
“Disturbing?”
Hope nodded. “She asked why you thought the bedtime story was real, then let it slip the Head of State knew about her father. She said she overheard him discussing it. The reason she was sterilized wasn’t because of the accident, but because she has unknown genetics.”
Ursa’s jaw hung wide open, staring in disbelief. “How can he know…” her gaze cast to the side.
“And I’m still alive? I don’t know. The only thing I know for certain is never underestimate the State. There is something at play that I will never understand. I must leave, tonight.”
Ursa burst into full tears, leaning into Hope’s shoulder. “I am losing both of you, on the same day.”
Hope gave in, allowing her emotions to flare once again. They sat together, arms wrapped around each other until their tears lessened.
“It is time, I’m afraid, to get back to discussing out plans for tonight. I need the information so I can leave with them. And I need to leave knowing that if Chastity ever comes around, you will guide her back to me. I have to believe that each group of travelers might have Chastity in their ranks.”
Ursa placed a gentle hand on her cheek. “If she ever speaks to me again, I will do my best. I’m afraid that isn’t much—”
“At least it’s something, which is more than I had when she walked out of this common room.”
“She came here?”
Hope nodded.
Ursa laughed, despite the gravity of their situation. “I’m sorry. I didn’t want you to come to mine because she did. I thought it would be suspicious if I burst into tears twice in one day with the same Security personnel monitoring me.”
Hope nodded. “Then I guess it is good I am the one who is leaving tonight.”
Chapter 36
Chastity
Her feet dragged as she walked the long path back to her apartment, the one she shared with Lance. Exhaustion washed over her, making it feel nearly impossible to walk. She forced herself through the door and threw herself onto the bed, leaving the bedroom door ajar.
There were so many things going through her mind, so much had changed in such a short period of time. She had learned her father wasn’t who she thought he was, that the surface is survivable, and everything the State had ever told her was a lie.
The gravity of the truth was weighing heavily on her chest, making it diff
icult to breathe. She closed her eyes and focused on taking deep breaths until her emotions settled and she fell into a deep sleep.
In her dreams she was walking through the underground walkway when she saw her mother.
“Chastity, what are you doing here? You should come outside with me.”
Chastity winced. “Outside? Where would we go?”
Betrayed: Book Five of the State Series Page 25