Raina reached across the table and poked a finger in Megan’s arm. “You aren’t paying attention. I thought you invited me for coffee so we could chat.” She waggled a brow.
“I’m sorry. I know.” But what could she say? Because she could still feel Cole’s lips on hers and smell that woodsy scent that made her lose her mind. The last thing she needed to be doing was fancying any kind of future with the man, right? No matter how much his kisses curled her toes. Cole couldn’t stick around, and in reality, he was the guy who moved on. Didn’t look back. Especially with his Ranger buddy waiting for him.
Oh. He was so confusing.
She took a sip of her drink, a sweet caramel and chocolate blend they’d named after her because she’d helped the Java Cup’s owner with a wedding fiasco.
“Spill. What in the world has you so bunched up that you can’t even manage a game of checkers?”
Megan looked around, checked the doorway for ears. “Okay. Here’s the deal. I’m supposed to be moving temporarily into the Huestons’ so I can watch their house for them while they’re out of town for a few months.” Megan took another drink. “And that was supposed to be a good thing. But, now, I’m not so sure.” She bit her lip and stared out the window at the waves crashing against the frosty shore.
“So this is about Cole.” Raina tore a chunk of her chocolate glazed Bismark off and popped it into her mouth.
“Maybe.”
“Come on. You were staring at him in church last Sunday.”
“I wasn’t staring at him.” Megan moved her piece. Heat flooded her face and she tossed another look over her shoulder. She’d kissed him back. Like, all-in. The excitement still swirled in her gut.
“Yes, you were.” Raina leaned in and jumped Megan’s pieces. Twice. She scooped the pieces off the game board. “And you think if you move out, he’ll see that as a reason to sell the house and leave. An open exit door.”
“Yeah. Because he doesn’t have a job here right now. His grandfather needs the money. It’s probably the right thing for me to do.” Megan rubbed the back of her neck.
Raina looked at her with an unbroken gaze.
Megan squirmed. “What are you doing? Why are you looking at me like that?” She repositioned in her chair.
“What happened?” Raina leaned back and crossed her arms.
“Nothing happened.” Nothing she was ready to share. Because Cole was stealing her heart. Again.
Why couldn’t she do something halfway? Why did her heart run away with plans?
“Right. Something happened.” Raina opened her hand full of pieces. “Because checkers may not be your best game, but you have lost three times already. Three. That’s got to be a new record and by the looks of this game, you aren’t faring too well. And I’d expect to hear you jabbering nonstop about the weddings you’ve got lined up—like, you know, maybe Cameron Crawford?”
“Fine. Probably. Yes. I don’t know. I really like Cole. I don’t want to like him.” She covered her face in her hands. Under no circumstances was she going to tell Raina right there in the middle of the Java Cup about the kiss. “I’m too old for this.”
“You’re not making any sense. Why can’t you like him?” Raina took another bite of donut. “He’s nice. And—um, hello—good looking.” She sat back in her chair. “He’s been very helpful to Casper. What are you too old for?”
“The uncertainty.” Megan peeked out between her fingers before dropping her hands. She let out a long breath. “I’m afraid he’ll leave again.”
“This is the boy who came every summer when you were kids.”
Megan jumped Raina’s pieces twice, finally gaining ground. She would not lose four times in a row. “Yep. He’s the one.”
Summer. She could almost hear the pebbles hitting her bedroom window and the gust of cool morning air when she would push it open. She’d lean out and smile. He’d call up to her. Let’s go. And she’d race down the stairs, hollering to her parents on her way out the door to meet him.
Raina slid her game piece into an edge spot. “It seems like maybe you’ve loved him longer than you’ve admitted.”
Oh.
“Loved him? We were just kids.” Megan tried to laugh but it came out a sharp snort. She could still taste Cole’s kiss on her lips. The warmth of his breath against her neck. And the bold determination with which he took her in his arms. She had to stop thinking about it.
“Yes, but you loved him.” Raina smiled like she’d just found the secret recipe for Edith Draper’s no-bake chocolate oatmeal cookies.
“No. Quit saying that. King me.” Megan was on the verge of finally winning. She was due a victory.
“Why are you denying it?” Raina’s eyes narrowed in accusation and she moved her checker.
“Shhh—not so loud.” Megan sat back and let Raina’s words soak into her. Let the childhood fondness meld into the current quickening of her heart every time he came near. “Fine. Maybe, a little, but now?” She moved her game piece. “I don’t know. He’s selling the house and moving away. Or, maybe not. I mean, he’s been so helpful around town. You saw how he jumped in and helped Casper clear snow from some of the parking lots and roads. He’s helped me with these weddings that got doubled-up due to the crazy weather. Our time together has been, um, nice.”
All the conflict and confusion whirled in her brain like a stormy tide. “And Josh? Josh is kind of wild about him and that terrifies me. But he’s leaving—he has to, right? And the Marshals Service would be idiots not to hire him. His friend is waiting for him. And I have the Huestons’ place to move into temporarily. But if I leave the apartment, he’ll leave town—do what he wants to do. Probably needs to do, right? Should I leave? Should I stay?” She gripped the edge of the table. “What should I do?”
Raina smoothed the fabric of her tunic over her abdomen, looked across the game board at Megan, and stared at the Long John sitting on the plate. “I’m still hungry.”
“Really?” Megan laughed. “I understand you’re eating for two, but I’m serious. I don’t know what to do.” She handed Raina the rest of her Long John.
“Have you talked to him about it?” Raina ripped off a bite and ate it.
“I’m afraid to. Maybe I’m not ready to know. What if I can’t fix it?”
Raina reached a hand out to her, interlaced their fingers together, and squeezed. “You don’t have to fix it.”
Except sitting, waiting wasn’t in her nature. She thought of Cole, his friend David. His visit to see his grandfather. Moving out was the right choice. Besides, she’d already made the commitment. They needed someone on-site and she’d agreed to it.
She swallowed, the decision pressing down on her.
Raina plucked one of her double-stacked checkers from the board and jumped her piece across Megan’s last two, scooping them from the board. “You lost. Again!”
Megan slumped in her chair. Yep. That’s exactly what she was afraid of.
Chapter 11
Cole blamed Megan for why he was sitting in the dark of his grandfather’s room. He hadn’t planned to spend his Thursday morning in memory care, listening to the soft snores and grunts of a sleeping man lost to the ravages of Alzheimer’s.
Megan had been MIA since their rendezvous Sunday afternoon, and Cole wasn’t sure if the space was a good thing or not. But one thing he did know—kissing her had completely muddled his brain and plans.
If there was any possibility of a future in Deep Haven, he needed to talk to his grandpa. Because somehow, the very man who drove him out of town was the same one who held the answer now.
Cole needed to make a decision.
Heavy curtains closed out the morning light. The care center had done their best to make the institutional setting seem more like home. Landscapes by local artists hung on the walls, depicting area landmarks—Split Rock Lighthouse, Palisade Head Cliffs, Eagle Mountain—as though hoping to anchor the patients somehow to reality.
The man hadn’t stirred, but
Cole couldn’t help but start sorting out the problem. He leaned forward in his chair, looking at the old man.
“I know you were hurting when my dad died. I know you’d lost Grandma, and really, I can’t imagine the pain of losing your own child.” Cole swallowed, thinking of Josh. Not his own son and yet, so much the child he always envisioned having. And the night they rushed to urgent care—every minute they waited passed in agony. “But I never understood why you couldn’t protect me from your own pain.”
He scrubbed his hands through his hair and stared at one of the paintings. It looked like the annual Fisherman’s Picnic. Booths lined Main Street, a big blue Fish Burger sign in the middle. He remembered going with Grandpa to get a fish burger from the Lions Club and watch the logrolling competition.
A dark-haired nurse entered the room in smiley-face scrubs, her rubber-soled shoes silent as she padded to the bedside table to remove the breakfast tray.
“Good morning.” She paused, looked at the sleeping man, and turned back to him. “Are you Cole?”
“Yes, ma’am.”
“It must be hard to see him this way. Yesterday he had a pretty good day. He talked about you. By that, I mean he told me all about his six-year-old grandson and one of your fishing trips. I hope that brings you some comfort—those good memories sustain him. He’s been doing really well here.”
Cole nodded. He faintly remembered those fishing trips.
She left as quietly as she came, and Cole continued to sit in the shadows until his grandpa stirred, opened his eyes.
Panic filled them. “I’m late.” He sat up, his thin hair stood on end and his pale blue pajamas were half buttoned, twisted on his tiny body. He pushed to his feet.
“Hey! What are you doing?” Cole stood, not sure if the unsteady legs would keep his grandpa upright.
His grandfather focused on him, squinted, maybe seeing him for the first time. “Are you the new supervisor?” Then his voice turned to a low growl. “I know who you are. You’re the one Jack sent to get me fired.” He stepped toward Cole, his spotted, gray hand in a fist. “You set me up, didn’t you?” He looked around the room. “You took my clothes! Turned off my alarm!”
Cole reached for him before he could hurt himself. “Grandpa, stop!”
“Don’t lie to me!” His grandpa’s sharp voice rattled through the room. “You set me up. Gonna get me fired!” Then he twisted hard out of Cole’s grip, pushing him.
And Cole was the boy in the corner. The switch had flipped, just like the night he left. He stepped away, but there it was, all the hurt and confusion, littering the space between them. Casualties of alcoholism and loss decimating the landscape.
His grandfather leaned in. “You good-for-nothing—” His grandfather let out a slew of foul words. “You think you can come in here and take what’s mine, don’t you? I won’t lose what’s mine—”
Two nurses rushed in and Cole backed away, listened to his thundering heart and the buzzing in his ears.
“Edgar, I found your clothes right here.” The nurse lifted a cotton shirt from the side table.
“Give me those.” He did his best to snatch the clothes away, as much as a weak, feeble man could.
“Have you looked outside this morning?” The nurse Cole had met earlier went to the window and opened the curtains, letting light flood the space. “We put out a new bird feeder and it’s been getting quite a bit of traffic.”
His grandfather collapsed, breathing hard, starting to sob. “I won’t let them take what’s mine. Where’s Cole? Where’s my grandson?”
The nurse turned to Cole, put a hand on his shoulder. “Can you wait outside? Let us calm him down?”
Cole nodded, stepped out into the hallway where the smell of old age and disinfectant made it hard to breathe. A light in the hallway flickered, incessant buzzing adding to the noise in Cole’s head.
Somehow, in his lost mind, the man was searching for Cole. And the sadness of that fact soaked in, pressed down on Cole’s chest.
Clearly he’d completely forgotten why they’d had to take him away.
He wandered back to the main entry area, uncertain if he should stay or go.
“Mr. Barrett?” the receptionist called to him.
He stopped. Looked at her.
“You are Edgar Barrett’s grandson, right?” She stood at the desk.
“Yes. Yes, ma’am.”
“Ms. Chase wanted to speak with you. She thought maybe you’d already left town.” The woman gave him an apologetic look as Ms. Chase, the case manager, stepped from her office carrying a folder. She laid it out on the raised reception desk.
“So, originally, we thought that billing had been completed through the end of February, but during the financial audit yesterday, an error was discovered and billing had only been completed through January. I’m so sorry. Your grandfather’s account is actually due.”
“What does that mean?”
“It means that we’ll have to transfer him next week to Duluth.” She paused. “Unless he has funds to pay off the bill. I have the transfer orders here.”
Oh.
And suddenly he saw himself walking through the house with Nathan, pointing out all the defects. No wonder his real estate agent had looked at him like he’d been kicked in the teeth.
Cole had run away perfectly good buyers—buyers ready with cash in hand. And why?
Because he hadn’t been ready to say goodbye to Megan. The truth dug in and squeezed.
Because he didn’t want to leave Deep Haven.
But what choice did he have? His grandfather needed the money—and it was his house, after all. Cole should call Nathan back. Apologize—he owed him that anyway. And maybe, by some chance, the people might still be interested.
It was the only viable solution, really, because…despite all that his grandfather had done, he was still his grandfather. And deep in his core, he believed family still mattered.
“No,” he said quietly. “He stays.”
She looked up from the clipboard, her pen frozen midword.
“Excuse me?” She leaned in. “Did you say something?”
“He stays. I’ll get you the payment.”
Her brow raised. “Okay—you understand we’ll need it by close of business next Friday?” She gave him a pained look. “Unfortunately, our parent company has really buckled down on these things. Our hands are tied.”
“Yes, ma’am. I’ll get it to you.”
“Okay then. We’re glad to hear he’ll be staying.” She gave him a smile. “Do you know when you’re leaving town?”
He blinked. “No.” He swallowed. “Not yet.” He gave her a nod and walked away.
Shoot. He didn’t know when his math had stopped computing—he’d known all along he’d have to sell the house to pay for his grandfather’s care. Somewhere along the line, he started thinking that he’d come up with a better solution.
Clearly, he wasn’t supposed to stay.
He hadn’t realized he’d taken a wrong turn until he reached a dead end. An emergency door with an alarm on it.
The last room in the hall had a small placard next to the open door.
CHAPEL
Purple, blue, and orange blocks of color lit the floor, cast from within.
He had no idea why, but he stepped inside.
It was only twelve feet or so wide, with a stained glass cross sitting at the front of the small space, lit from behind. A wood railing spanned the width of the room with a step for kneeling, and three rows of four upholstered chairs sat on each side of the center aisle.
Cole slid into the back row and stared at the cross. He’d have rather had a gym than a chapel. Somewhere he could yell and scream and hit and throw things. Somewhere he could vent all the frustration and confusion boiling inside him.
Better might even be a shooting range.
Footsteps in the hall and a light knock on the open door drew his attention.
“Hey—I’d about given up on finding you.�
� Darek stood in the doorway, pulled his knit cap from his head.
Cole leaned back, interlocked his fingers together in his lap. “What are you doing here?”
“I had to drop off some prayer shawls my mom made and saw your Jeep in the lot. I’ve been driving around with this application and thought I’d hand it off to you.”
“Application?”
“For the vacant deputy position.”
Cole let out a sharp laugh. “I thought I told you you’ve got the wrong guy.”
“What if I don’t?” Darek slid into the seat across the makeshift aisle and held up the packet in his hands.
“I have to sell the house. Like ASAP.” He looked back at the doorway to the hall. “You know about my past with my grandfather?”
Darek nodded.
“He’s a mess today. Yelling and screaming at me—that I’m going to take things away from him. I’m the bad guy.” Cole stood and walked to the altar rail, ran his hand down the smooth wood. “And then he started crying and talking about losing his grandchild—me.”
“I’m sorry.”
Cole shook his head. “You know, I don’t expect—or want—to be best friends with the guy. But I’d like to be able to air it all out. Maybe, for once, have him admit what he did was wrong.”
Darek leaned forward, his hands clasped over the back of the chair in front of him. “You want an apology?”
“For starters. I don’t know how we’ll ever move forward until he asks for forgiveness. I think he owes me that much.” Cole balled his fists. “I mean, I hear people talk about him quitting alcohol, returning to God. Except, after I left, I never heard from him again. If he was so sorry, then it seems the least he could do is own up to it.”
“What if he can’t apologize? What if you can’t get the closure you want?”
“I don’t know.”
Darek sat back up in his chair. “You know, I got married really young to a local girl named Felicity. I was a terrible husband. Young and selfish.”
Cole stayed silent.
“One day, she was hit by a car while out running.”
Still the One Page 17