“Why do you want to know? What makes you think I even want to settle down with someone?”
He instantly took the offensive approach. I shrugged my shoulders, wishing I hadn’t even brought it up. I looked away and tried to act like his response hadn’t bothered me.
“Are you wanting to apply for the position?” he asked as he pulled me closer to him.
“Um…I thought you just said you weren’t looking for someone,” I said, my voice sounding so small. I was kicking myself for letting him catch me off guard like that.
“If I was, you’d be my type, Azurdee. Your innocence just pours off of you, and it’s sexy as hell,” he said in almost a whisper.
I smiled even though I tried desperately not to. “Oh yeah?” I said, trying to be calm, even though my heart was racing a hundred miles an hour.
He looked down at me as he gave me a slight smile, and then he looked away. “But I’m no good for you, Azurdee.”
My smile faded. The anger started to build up inside me. “Don’t you think I should be the judge of that?” I asked in an angry tone.
He looked back down at me and laughed. “You have no idea what you are saying. You know nothing about me, Azurdee. Why would you want to be involved with someone you know nothing about? I have secrets, and I’ve done things I’m not proud of.”
I saw the hurt in his eyes, and all I wanted to do was make it go away. “I know everything I need to know about you. Everyone has secrets and has made mistakes in life.”
“Is that so?” he asked, in such a seductive way.
“Ah…yep. Isn’t that what it’s all about though? Getting to know each other. I would think that would be the best part of a relationship.”
He threw his head back and laughed. “That is one of the best parts. Sex is the other.”
I felt my face blush. If he ever knew I was a virgin, he would probably run away as fast as he could. He looked at me, and the look in his eyes caused goose bumps to pop up all over my body.
“Trust me, Azurdee, you need to just stay away from me. I’m no good for you.”
I pushed him back. “I think you just say that because you’re afraid of being in a relationship with someone.”
He tightened his eyes as he glared at me. The hurt in his eyes was replaced by something else, but I couldn’t figure out what it was.
Anger? Lust maybe?
He pulled me back into him. The song had changed at some point, but we were still dancing slowly.
“Do you want to be with me, Azurdee?”
Oh God. He just came out and asked it. What do I say? Do I tell him the truth?
I looked into his eyes and whispered, “Yes.”
He closed his eyes and shook his head. “Azurdee, no, you don’t.”
“Yes. Yes, I do. I want to be with you, Lark. I want you to make love to me.”
He opened his eyes, and the look in them caused me to suck in a breath of air.
He placed his hand on my face and whispered, “You don’t know what you’re saying, baby.”
I put my hand on top of his. “Yes, I do. I want you, Lark. I want to get to know you…please let me.”
He looked into my eyes for what seemed like forever before he finally gave me a small smile.
“If I do this, Azurdee, you need to know what you’re getting into. I’m…I’m not sure if I can be what you want me to be.”
I swallowed and nodded my head. “I understand.” He’s just scared. That’s all. He needs someone to love him.
He pushed his hand into my hair and grabbed it. “Once you’re mine, you’re mine though, Azurdee. I won’t share you with anyone.”
I smiled. “I won’t share either, just so you know.”
He shook his head. “This is a dangerous game you’re playing with me.”
It felt like my heart dropped to my stomach. What does he mean by that?
“I’m not playing any games, Lark,” I whispered.
Right then, Katy Perry’s “Dark Horse” started playing. The smile that spread across his face shocked me. I wasn’t sure if I should be turned on or if I should turn around and run. He pulled my hair, making my head tilt back some, exposing my neck to him.
He leaned down and put his lips against my neck, and right before Katy started singing, he whispered, “Do you want me to make you mine, Azurdee?” Chills ran up and down my body instantly.
The moment the beat started, he pulled me to him and started dancing with me so seductively that I could feel my face blushing yet again. I didn’t know if it was the way he was dancing with me or the song itself, but I felt like I was falling deeper and deeper into a trance, and he was in total control of every single one of my emotions.
I’d never danced like this before, and I had never felt so incredibly turned on like I was. The way his body was grinding into mine had me going insane. If he were to tell me to strip down for him and make love to him right here in front of everyone, I would do it.
His hand was moving up and down my body, and I was quickly falling faster and faster for him. I wanted him more than ever. He let go of my hair and moved both his hands over my body. Everywhere he touched I felt like I had been zapped by tiny bolts of electricity. He placed both of his hands on my face and tilted my head up to him.
Then, he just stopped moving. I had to hold on to something to keep my legs from going out underneath me. I grabbed on to his arms and stared into his eyes. He brought his lips barely up to mine and stopped just short of kissing me. I could feel his hot breath, and I was trying like hell not to seem desperate for his kiss.
“Who’s the guy you’re with?” he asked.
I shook my head to clear my thoughts. He had me pressed up against his hard-on, and I was going insane with lust.
“Um…just a friend. He’s just a friend.”
He smiled as he tilted his head and looked down at my lips. Then, he looked back up into my eyes and said, “What’s your answer?”
“My answer?” I asked, confused as hell.
He lightly brushed his lips against mine, and I let out a moan. I was inwardly cursing myself for seeming so needy. He dropped his hands and took a few steps back from me.
No! I wanted to call out and reach for him to pull him back against my body. I needed to feel him close to me. I needed to feel his heat.
The farther he moved away, the colder I felt.
“If it’s a yes, Azurdee, tell him he can leave anytime, and the sooner the better, because I really want to make love to you. Now.”
He turned and started toward the house. I stood there, just watching him walk away from me, as I tried to catch my breath. He turned back around and smiled at me right before he walked into the house.
Oh dear God. This is the moment I’ve been waiting for, dreaming about since the first time he ever looked into my eyes. He had been the one I was saving myself for.
I looked around to see if anyone had been watching us. I could feel the heat burning my cheeks. I took a deep breath in and slowly let it out. I looked around and found Paul, my date for the wedding.
As I walked over to tell Paul good-bye and to thank him for coming, I had the strangest feeling that I was about to give my heart and soul to someone who could possibly take it and crush it into a million pieces. I knew one thing for sure though. I was about to walk into something that both excited and scared me.
“Azurdee? What in the world are you thinking about?” Ari asked as she bumped my arm and I jumped. I shook my head and smiled.
“Earlier, dancing with Lark. Just something he said to me,” I barely said.
Ari’s smile faded and she looked down and then back up at me. “Do you think he knows that…um…that you’re a virgin?”
I shrugged my shoulders. “I’m not sure. I wouldn’t be surprised if Jessie told him to keep him away from me.” I turned and looked at Ari. “Do you think that would turn him off? I mean…if I tell him, do you think he will change his mind?”
Ari threw her head back
and laughed. “Please. Show me a man who doesn’t want to be the first to journey down that valley. I would guess he knows but you’re going to have to tell him, Sweets, just in case.”
I nodded my head. The screen door opened and Jeff, Ari’s husband, came walking out.
“Hey baby, everyone is pretty much leaving. You about ready to say good-bye?” Jeff asked as he reached his hand down for Ari.
Before she stood up, she smiled. She gave me a hug and whispered, “It’s going to hurt and feel good at the same time. Call me tomorrow morning.”
She pulled back and smiled at me as I smiled at her. Was I really going to do this? Give Lark the one thing I’d guarded so strongly? Yes. I was and my clenching stomach couldn’t wait another minute. I’d waited almost a year to feel his lips on mine. I’ve dreamed about his hands moving gently over my body. Yes. I was more than ready for Lark to make love to me.
We both stood up and I followed them back into the house. As I made my way around thanking everyone for coming, I couldn’t help but look over at Lark doing the same. I swear every girl either asked him out tonight or gave him her phone number. I rolled my eyes as one of my college friends attempted to get Lark to come back to Austin with them and show them around all the dance clubs.
After the last person walked out the door, I walked upstairs and got out of that damn dress I’d been in for hours. I left my lace bra and panties on, but put jeans and a T-shirt on over them and made my way back downstairs.
I wasn’t sure if Lark’s brother Tristan was still here or not. He had been the last person talking to Lark. Their conversation seemed to be a serious one, so I was hesitant to even go outside.
When I stepped outside and made my way down the steps I looked over at Lark and Tristan sitting down talking. Lark looked up at me, and the look on his face when he saw me was one of disappointment. I stopped in my tracks.
He’s regretting what he said earlier. He doesn’t really want to be with me.
I swallowed hard and wished I hadn’t even come back out. Tristan turned and saw me and smiled. “Well, it looks like you decided to get comfortable.” I smiled and nodded my head. When I looked back at Lark he seemed…angry. He was regretting what he said. He was probably pissed at himself for saying he wanted to make love to me.
I looked around and quickly walked over to a table and began cleaning it off. I tried desperately to hold back the tears that were threatening to spill over.
Oh God. How stupid could I be? He had so many girls asking him out tonight and here I was stupid enough to think he wanted to be with me.
I began piling everything up and was about to pick it all up and toss it when I felt a shock run up my arm. It didn’t take me long to figure out Lark had grabbed my arm. He pulled me to him and said, “What are you doing?”
I still had been fighting the tears in my eyes, so I didn’t want to look at him. I kept my head turned. “Cleaning,” I said as my voice cracked. Damn it, why he had such a hold over me was beyond me. I hated how weak I felt when I was around him.
“Look at me, Azurdee,” he whispered.
I turned and looked at him and he sucked in a breath. “What’s wrong?” he asked.
I shook my head and said, “Nothing.” I pulled my arm out and picked up the trash and quickly headed to the trashcan.
“Azurdee, put that stuff down and just let this go. Y’all can clean up in the morning,” Tristan said.
“The wild animals might make a mess of things if we don’t get…” I looked around and saw all the food was gone. That’s when I noticed the only table that had any trash on it was the table I just cleared off.
“Who? When did this all get taken care of?” I asked as I looked over at Lark. He smiled and said, “I hired someone to come in and take care of it. They were cleaning up as we were trying to get everyone the hell out of here. It ran over later than I thought, so they said they would be back tomorrow.”
I wanted to run over and kiss him I was so relieved. But instead I smiled and said, “Thank God. I’m exhausted.” I looked at Tristan, who was looking back and forth between Lark and me. When Lark looked at him they exchanged a look and the next thing I knew Tristan was saying good-bye.
No! No, don’t leave me alone with Lark.
“Um…are you sure you don’t want to stay the night, Tristan. I mean, it’s a long drive back to Austin and it’s so late and all.” I peeked over at Lark, and now he really did seemed pissed. He walked up to Tristan and slapped him on the back.
“He has a hotel in Fredericksburg,” Lark said as he looked back at me.
Tristan laughed and shook his head. “I better get going, I’ll be back tomorrow to help with anything that’s left to do.”
I wanted to scream out for him to stop, but I just stood there for a second before I followed both men into the house. Tristan headed to the stairs as he called back over his shoulder, “Give me two seconds, I need to grab my stuff.”
I watched as Tristan took the stairs two at a time. My eyes wandered over to Lark, who turned and stared at me. The way he was looking at me had me confused. He began walking over to me, and I instinctively began backing up until I backed right into the wall.
He stopped just short of me and put his hand on the wall, then looked down into my eyes. They weren’t filled with lust like earlier. My heart began pounding and I wished like hell we weren’t staying here together in this house.
“Why did you take your dress off, Azurdee?” he hissed.
What? He’s upset that I took off my dress?
My eyes quickly moved around his face before I looked back into his eyes. I slowly took in a deep breath and said, “I, um…I was uncomfortable and wanted to take it off. Lark, are you upset with me about something? I mean, if you’ve changed your mind about wanting to be with…um…with me, then…”
Something about his eyes changed and he looked down at my lips. He slammed his lips to mine and I was quickly lost in his kiss. Oh my. The way he tasted…the way his tongue danced with mine had me feeling light-headed. He slowly pulled away and I wanted to tell him not to stop.
He smiled and said, “Azurdee, I haven’t changed my mind. I wanted to peel that dress off of your body myself and I’m pissed I won’t get the chance to now.”
All I could say was, “Oh.”
Tristan cleared his throat and Lark took a few steps away from me before he turned around and said, “Well, big brother, not to rush you out the door or anything…”
Tristan looked over at me and his smile faded for a brief second. I’m sure I looked a mess. The emotions playing in my heart right now had me more confused than ever. I smiled and began walking toward them both.
As they both made their way out to the front porch they talked about heading to their family ranch for Christmas. I tried to listen, but I kept thinking of what Lark said.
I wanted to peel that dress off of your body myself and I’m pissed I won’t get the chance to now.
I stood on the porch as I watched Lark talk to his brother. Tristan turned and waved to me and yelled, “It was a pleasure meeting you, Azurdee. See ya tomorrow.”
I waved back. “The pleasure was all mine.”
Lark took a step back and we both watched Tristan’s BMW retreat down the driveway.
Lark turned and looked at me, and my heart began pounding in my chest. He walked up to me and when he started up the steps, the left corner of his mouth began moving up into that damn crooked-ass smile of his that caused the throbbing between my legs to grow stronger.
What do I do? What do I say? So, hey, are you going to take me to bed now and rob me of my virginity? Oh, I didn’t mention I was a virgin? Surprise!
Lark walked up to me and reached down and scooped me up. I let out a small scream as I wrapped my hands around his neck. He quickly walked through the house and up the stairs.
Wow…he certainly isn’t wasting time. Not even any romance? Foreplay? I guess I shouldn’t expect much more from him.
My h
eart dropped in my stomach just a bit as I thought about how Lark was probably going to just fuck me, and that would be the end of it.
He pushed open my bedroom door, walked us through and then kicked it shut. He slowly put me down as he began to push me back against the bedroom door.
I bit down on my lower lip as I looked up into his eyes. They were filled with passion and something else. I couldn’t really put my finger on it but it almost seemed like he was just as nervous as I was.
He pushed a stray piece of my hair back and smiled at me. “Are you scared, Azurdee?”
I swallowed hard and whispered, “Yes.”
He leaned down and brushed his lips against mine and whispered, “Te adoro, Azurdee. I’d never do anything to hurt you.”
I closed my eyes and when I opened them again I fought to hold back my tears.
“I’m going to make love to you for your first time, Azurdee. I wish I could make it more special for you but I’m going to take it slow and easy. But after I make you mine, I’m going to fuck you hard and fast. I’ve been dreaming of this night for months.”
I sucked in a breath of air and felt my stomach drop. Oh. My. God. I didn’t know if I was more shocked he knew I was a virgin or by what he said to me.
He licked his lips as he ran his hand up my neck and into my hair. He grabbed a fist full of hair and pulled my head back and placed his lips on my neck.
“Are you sure you want this, Azurdee?” he whispered against my skin.
I couldn’t even form words in my mouth, so I attempted to nod my head.
“Tell me what you want, mi amor. I want to hear it from your lips,” Lark whispered.
I swallowed hard as he pulled back and looked into my eyes. I knew there was nothing else I wanted more than for Lark to make love to me.
I ran my tongue along my top lip as Lark let out a small moan. “I want you, Lark. I want you to make love to me and…”
His eyes lit up with passion as he slowly smiled and said, “And what, Azurdee?”
He placed his lips on my neck again and began kissing me softly along my neck and up to my ear. “Ohh…I want you to make me…ahh…” He was driving me insane and all I wanted was for his lips to be on my body. Everywhere on my body. I had fantasies of Lark giving me an orgasm through oral sex. My core clenched at just the thought and my betraying body let out another moan.
Unconditional Love Page 3