by Kitty Wilson
‘Right, exactly. She doesn’t know how but clearly wanted to try and as a result has massively cocked up. And yes, Chase should have known better but I think he was so relieved that she wasn’t forcing him to marry her this Saturday that he agreed to anything. On the other hand, there’s also a strong possibility that their relationship flourishes precisely because he ignores most of what she says and does.’
‘We don’t have to go through with the renewal vows?’
‘God, no, we don’t have to do anything you’re not comfortable with. I’m happy to stand up and shout to the world that I want to be married to you for the rest of my life, but you must do what makes you happy and not be bound by obligation or duty or social pressure.’ His hand moved to her arm and started to absentmindedly stroke it. She leaned into him in return, a weight taken from her mind. He hadn’t been behind this; she should have known. She wouldn’t have to get up and be forced to make promises that she still wasn’t sure on. She didn’t want to bind herself to him again, not if he had cheated, and that hadn’t been settled yet. That joy was next on the agenda.
‘Okay.’ She took a deep breath, still clinging to his hand, closed her eyes, and then blurted, ‘I hear what you say about me trusting you. And I understand your point, you’re right and to be honest apart from this blip, you’ve never done anything to demonstrate I couldn’t trust you. But you know me, you know my history. No matter how secure I am as an adult I just can’t seem to shake it off, that doubt that I’ll become my mother, that belief that no matter what I do I’ll never be quite good enough despite me trying my absolute hardest to make sure everything I do is the best it can be. I am trying, though, and talking this through is helping. But I am going to go somewhere now that isn’t comfortable for either of us but it needs to be done.’
‘Claudia?’
‘Yup. You say you didn’t cheat, you say now that there’s evidence you didn’t cheat and yet I haven’t seen it. It feels like I’m on the outside. Somehow Serena knows about it and yet you haven’t shared it with me.’ She could hear herself; she sounded like a small child that had been left alone too long with the helium.
‘Because it was Serena that found it, printed it out and gave it to me.’
‘Printed what out?’
Richard took a big sigh. ‘Serena printed out a WhatsApp conversation between herself and Claudia and showed me. Claudia is all loved up with someone and is trying to tell Serena how wonderful it is to be with someone who reciprocates her feelings. She goes on to say she’s not had sex in years. I can’t have had sex with her and have her be celibate for three years. Serena thought if I showed you then you would have the evidence you’d been banging on about.’
‘I don’t bang on, Richard.’
‘I think you do, love, sometimes.’
‘Why didn’t you show me?’
‘It felt grubby somehow, invasive, and like I said I thought you should have trusted me. Would it put your mind at rest to see it?’
Yes. Bloody hell, of course, had she not been asking for exactly this for months now? Did she need to skywrite it or paint it on her boobs? ‘Yes!’
‘Okay, hang on.’ Richard stood up and slipped his hand into his back pocket.
‘What? You’ve got it on you?’
‘I’ve been carrying it around ever since Serena gave it to me, waiting for this conversation to arise.’
‘I can’t believe you waited all this time.’
‘I didn’t want to bog you down with us when you were working so hard to get things up and running with Marion Marksharp events planner.’
‘You’re a fool.’
‘So you constantly tell me.’
‘Well you are.’
‘I must be, I’m still here.’ Richard passed her the piece of A4 the message exchange was printed upon. Marion’s eyes scanned it once, twice and a third time.
‘She hasn’t had sex in three years!’
‘I understand it’s not uncommon.’
‘She says the most dreadful things about you. What a bitch! How dare she?’ And then the realization of her error, the impact of her belief that he was a cheat hit her. ‘You never slept with Claudia.’
‘Nope.’
‘I threw you out when you hadn’t done anything wrong. You had been faithful? You had been faithful.’
‘Yep.’
‘Well why on earth didn’t you tell me?’
‘I think I did. Quite a lot. You said I was lying and you hit me with a vase.’
‘I did and I really liked that vase.’ Marion heard herself giggle. She was dreadful.
‘So, what do you want to do about things now?’
‘I don’t really know. Since February my life has changed so much, and whilst I hate not having you here, I do like my new life. I like having focus and direction that isn’t just about you and the boys. I know that makes me sound selfish…’
‘No, stop right there. Wanting something you want to do for you instead of for me and the boys doesn’t make you selfish; it makes you healthy. And actually, look at this last year: yes, you haven’t been able to be as involved with the boys as you would be normally but has the world imploded? Have they all been seized by Scotland Yard? No, they’ve carried on being them. Sometimes they’re evil little hellers, sometimes they are remarkably switched-on young men. But all the time they’re yours and mine and all the time they make us proud. They’re not toddlers any more, and despite your best intentions, they don’t need you helicopter parenting…’
‘Helicopter parenting? Do you even know what that is?’
‘Yes I do. Because I’ve watched you do it for the last twelve years. It’s time to let them grow up a little, let them do things by themselves.’
‘Rufus is six!’
‘Yes he’s six, with two older brothers who are shaping up to be good – well, goodish – role models. Let us all pitch in, let it be something we all do together rather than something you control every tiny element of.’
‘Hmm, they have been happy having you around more.’
‘And I’ve been happy being around more. So, are you hearing what I’m saying? You can still have your new life. I will talk to Angelina firmly if you like and tell her this is just a party and whilst we appreciate her thinking of us we will do what we need to in our own time. This party will be fabulous, and I know that because I know you. You can still chase your dreams for yourself and I can help with the boys. I make no show of the fact I want to. And I make no show of the fact I would rather be living with you. Sleeping back in our bed, cuddling you after a long day. I’m happy to keep giving you time but now we’ve had this chat, now you know I didn’t cheat, I need to know myself which direction you’re heading in.’
He hadn’t asked for an apology, he hadn’t said anything she didn’t know to be true and he had never been anyone but himself; it had been her that was out of kilter.
‘Yours, Richard, I’m heading in yours.’
Chapter Forty-five
Richard moved his stuff back in that evening. It was amazing how fast he could move when he was motivated. And things had been rather nice ever since. With that pressure now lifted, Marion found her shoulders were a lot lighter, her brain no longer buzzing with anger, conflict or even guilt; it was only work that kept her awake at night now, but not for long. Not with the solid warmth of Richard next to her, his gentle hands reassuring her that all was good in the world.
However, during the day, Marion was focusing her all on Angelina’s party. Which was happening tomorrow and meant she needed to get on site to oversee the set-up. She was just waiting for Serena and Jenny, who she had put on the payroll again for this event, and then they were going to head on over to Chase’s and get things started. Chase and Angelina had hotfooted it to London to escape the chaos that the next few days would bring, giving Marion total free rein, which was exactly how she liked it.
She had said something similar to Richard as they woke up this morning.
‘Mum.�
�� Rafe crept up behind her just as she had seen Richard out of the door. He had taken Rupert and Rufus out, but Rafe and Sophie were coming to help her for the day.
‘Mmm,’ she answered, her concentration on her lipstick.
‘Mum, can we talk for a bit?’
‘Of course, but you’d better be quick. What is it?’
‘It’s a bit… don’t be cross but I want to sit down and talk to you adult to adult but it will only take three, maybe five minutes.’
Marion held her tongue.
‘Go on.’ She sat down on one of the armchairs as he took another.
‘We’re all so pleased Dad is back. Obviously. But I couldn’t help overhear you the other day…’
Marion gulped; this never boded well. Eavesdroppers really should learn more self-control.
Rafe continued, ‘And I heard you and Dad talking about some plan to renew your vows.’
That could have been worse.
‘Okay’ – Marion drew the word out – ‘and what do you want to say?’
‘I want to say that I think it’s a good idea; it would help us all. Make a marker to cement Dad being home full-time, but when I went to him and said this should happen he said he wasn’t prepared to push you into anything, which is so Dad. So talking to you is the next step.’
Rafe took a breath and carried on, ‘For Rufus and Rupert’s sake, and Dad’s, I think you should seriously consider the vow renewal thing. This is my plea for you to do that.’
‘Your plea, eh?’
‘Yup.’
‘We haven’t got much time.’
‘From what I understand it’s all set up, there’s nothing left to organize.’ Ah, he was quick. Out of all the boys, he was the most like her. Rufus was the most like Richard and someone had once described Rupert as the perfect blend of the two of them. She had always rather liked that.
‘We’d still need to plan a bit, and surprise your dad rather than ask him, make it a big ta-daaa moment!’
‘I thought you were against vow renewals as a surprise.’ Gah. Could she get nothing past this boy?
‘Oh… um, well in my instance yes. Obviously. But in this one, I reckon it’s okay. I’ll need help if he’s not to guess.’
‘I’m happy to take charge on that. And shall we get Rupert and Rufus in too?’
‘I think that sounds like a team that I want on my side.’
The doorbell rang, interrupting their flow.
‘That will be the girls; talk it over with your brothers and then we’ll make some plans. I think this could be a really good idea.’ She got up ready to walk towards the door. ‘And thank you for coming to talk to me.’ This had felt grown-up and she wanted him to know she appreciated it.
‘Thanks for listening.’
‘Can I get a hug?’
‘Oh my God, Mum! Your timing! No. Sophie’s out there.’
Marion chuckled as she opened the door. ‘Hello.’
‘Hello, hello.’ Serena, Sophie, Alice and Jenny came in through the door. ‘We’re here and we’re ready.’
‘Excellent, let me just grab my shoes and my bag.’
‘Ooh, first, Marion, we wondered if we could have a quick word.’ Jesus! It was clearly a morning for it.
‘It’s August now,’ Jenny said, looking at Serena for support.
And her point was?
‘And you haven’t said anything about the PTA,’ Serena jumped in. ‘It’s the summer holidays but we had expected you to talk to us about it by the end of the summer term and let us know what you were thinking regarding its future.’
‘Yes, its future,’ Jenny reinforced. ‘You’ve said you’re stepping down, you’ve had us running things since February and now we want to know who is going to be in charge next year. September is a time of fresh starts so it made sense to us…’
Marion raised a brow in Jenny’s direction, but just for fun. They were right, she did plan on keeping away from the PTA this academic year and they had survived, done well even, without her helping.
She looked at both of them, up and down, measuring them and ensuring there was a pregnant pause. Jenny had that look that resembled a small schoolgirl so on edge that she was about to wet herself any moment.
‘Alice, it’s good you’re here, as the member of staff who forms part of the PTA, but you’re right it’s time I made my decision.’
‘Which is?’ Serena questioned.
‘Which is that really…’ She paused for a long time at this point, amazed that they hadn’t worked out yet that the only power she had was what they willingly gave her. ‘You don’t need me to make a decision. It’s not mine to make. I don’t own the PTA; I never did. I may have thought I did and admit I was a little possessive. I do enjoy being in charge but that doesn’t mean I am or that you have to carry on in the same vein.’
‘I don’t understand.’ Jenny’s face was the very picture of perplexion.
‘If I were to be hit by a truck tomorrow, how would you run it?’
‘We’d all pitch in, I guess,’ Serena answered, a smile playing at the corner of her mouth.
‘Right, so do that. Run it the way you want to. You can make it as egalitarian as you wish. If you both want to share leading it, then do that. If you want to appoint different people to have responsibility for different things, do that.’
‘You’re not going to tell us what to do?’
‘I don’t think I need to any more, and I think that says an awful lot more about me than you. It is yours; run with it and I shall cheer on from the sidelines and be a phone call away if you ever need me.’ Marion beamed at them all as Alice stood next to her and squished her in for a hug as Jenny slumped to the floor in a dead faint.
Chapter Forty-six
It had taken days of setting up, months of planning but Marion was so proud of herself; the party was ready to go and everything looked phenomenal. The beach, the field and part of the huge manicured lawn that Chase had earmarked for the main body of the party were all set. The lawn had two big domes, one for the vow renewal ceremony which would later metamorphize into a dance tent, and one for dining with a huge bar at the end. There were jungle-sized plants shipped in, dozens of them, arranged to give a tropical feel and Marion had used them to make pathways, each leading to special areas to sit or to dance or whatever you wished. The main pathway ran down to the beach where there was another smaller dome as a bar, a stage set up for live music, a tequila tent and fire pits, bean bags and deck chairs aplenty.
She had spent all day at the site, stalking up and down and ready to bark orders at anyone who wasn’t being efficient. But everybody was on task or ahead and kept smiling at her.
Sophie had slipped her hand into Marion’s earlier today to drag her to the large dome where she and Rafe had been compiling a slideshow of Marion and Richard and were projecting it onto the walls of the tent. Marion had been so touched by both the effort and the effect that she had shrieked in a Jenny-like fashion and Sophie had squeezed her hand and said, ‘You’re alright, really.’ A hard lump formed in Marion’s throat, which she disguised by leaving quickly, marching around site and finding people to put chairs in rows in the dome.
With everything in place and guests due to arrive soon, Marion had slipped into Angelina’s bedroom to put on her outfit for the evening, an ivory satin dress that clung in all the right places. She purred as she stoked her hands down her frame and looked in the semi-circle of mirrors that Angelina had in her dressing room. The fabric was a jacquard crocodile print, with the pattern barely discernible to the eye, shimmering out only if the light caught it right. It was also very tight, sleek. Richard was going to explode.
She was slightly concerned about the celebrant for her renewal but she had spoken to Angelina the day before to let her know of the small change of plans and how the renewal would be a surprise for Richard, not for her, as well as to check there was a celebrant in place. Angelina had shrieked, very annoying, and promised her everything was in place and she didn
’t need to fuss about details. Old Marion would have blown a gasket at that thought; this Marion figured that she would be surrounded by family and friends and could problem-solve in the moment if necessary. Plus Angelina hadn’t hung up on her this time, which seemed to be the first in many months.
Her watch beeped; it was Rupert letting her know that Richard was on site and the boys had him in hand. It really wouldn’t be long now!
Chapter Forty-seven
Richard was currently the happiest man alive, or at least thought he was. What had begun as the shittiest year of his life had turned on a sixpence and become the best. He was back with his wife, in the bosom of his family and no longer had the prison that was his job forcing him back to the coalface every Monday. Plus, he and Marion were practically honeymooning; he was so happy to be back and she felt pretty bad for kicking him out in the first place – he was fairly sure that wouldn’t last long – but it was definitely giving their relationship a tinge of can’t-believe-our-luck. He could live with that for a while.
He couldn’t help but feel a little bit of a pang, though; today was the day Angelina had planned for their vow renewal, and he would have liked that. The opportunity to pledge his loyalty to the woman he loved and wanted to spend his life with. But with Marion not being keen, he wasn’t going to do anything to rock the boat.
Today was her big day. She was going to prove to any naysayers that she could pull off two big events in two weeks, and do so fabulously. He had never doubted it and knew she didn’t need him adding relationship demands at this point. She had been ever so slightly on edge as the day approached and a full bag of nerves by the time she dressed this morning. She was softer these days, less brittle, but as she kissed the tip of his nose as she left, she reminded him to dress his very sharpest, that she didn’t want him showing her up. That was a tinge of old Marion.
She had taken Rafe and Sophie with her when she left, leaving him with Rupert and Rufus, who were behaving bizarrely. Rufus had been upstairs and got dressed in his suit – his suit! That had never been upon his body without a godawful fight – and then came and sat on the sofa repeatedly asking if they were going yet and was his tie okay? Instead of teasing him, Rupert had redone the tie for him – Rufus had tied it in four knots – and then encouraged his brother upstairs to play games whilst they waited, without any prompting from their father. He had been planning to take them to the beach for a quick swim this afternoon but they point blank refused. Even when he attempted to bribe them with ice cream.