Forever Broken

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Forever Broken Page 5

by Carrie Ann Ryan


  “Thank you.” He turned to face her, and she studied the strong line of his jaw, the way his hair flopped over his forehead when he moved too quickly, and the way his lips thinned as he pressed them together. She knew they had a lot to talk about, and even more to think about, but for now, just the idea that she wasn’t surrounded by so many people who cared about her—only the one tied to her in a way she didn’t understand yet—made her feel safer than she’d thought possible. “I know I’m in your space, and I have a feeling that’s not something you like, but I appreciate it.”

  He frowned, studying her face. “You seem to know a lot about what I’m thinking for someone who hasn’t really talked to me.”

  She shrugged. “I study people. I can’t help it. I want to know the whys. It’s part of my job, even though I mostly work with animals. Not that I think shifters are animals…”

  That made him quirk a smile. “I know you helped some of the shifters in wolf form when the earthquake hit and during other battles. You’re good at what you do. And I fought beside you, remember? I guess we know each other more than I thought.”

  “And I guess we’ll have to learn who we are even more.” They were silent for a moment, and she wished she could take back the words. “But for now, I’d really just like to go to bed. I know the rest of the world needs to know what Blade has and, in my world, I need to know what’s going on, but I really just want to go to bed.”

  “Then I’ll get you my shirt, and you can sleep. Tomorrow, we’ll have more questions, but I know we’ll get some answers. We’re not going to let too much time pass without them.” He leaned forward and brushed his lips across her forehead. It was just a soft caress, not even a full kiss, but her shoulders lowered, and her eyes closed as she inhaled, her entire being calming just with him near.

  She didn’t understand the reaction and knew from his body language that he was just as confused.

  But it didn’t matter. Come morning, she would tense up again as she tried to untangle the threads that were her life and that of the Pack, but for now, she would follow Max upstairs to his guest room and go to bed.

  The next day would be there all too soon, and she’d have to face her new reality.

  No matter how unbelievable and dramatic it seemed.

  Chapter Five

  Max woke up before the sun and knew his world had changed. The house smelled of woman, of mate, and yet it was distant enough that his wolf wasn’t happy. His other half wasn’t angry, as it seemed to be most days since the battle, but it wanted their mate, and since that wasn’t happening anytime soon, Max would just deal with whatever his wolf did—like he’d been doing for a while now.

  He took his shower and got dressed for the Pack meeting that would happen later that morning at the Pack circle. He had a feeling it wasn’t going to go smoothly since they needed to discuss the Supreme Alpha business as well as the artifact. Keeping the latter a secret wasn’t an option, not when the knowledge of it could protect the Pack. None of his family knew what it was, but their Pack was deeply knowledgeable and talented, and someone down the line could have read about it over the past century or two. Max had a feeling the elders would know, and they were coming to the meeting. Sometimes, the elders didn’t join in on discussions like this since they were far too old to deal with the daily issues of the Pack, their minds full of so many memories that sometimes they found themselves lost in their heads and not truly living in the present.

  Max was over a hundred and fifty years old and had his own memories he sometimes drowned in, but it paled in comparison to that of the elders. And though the Pack’s elder ranks had thinned over the years thanks to war, the betrayal of the previous Alpha, Max’s uncle, and other issues, they still had a few deeply knowledgeable elders that he hoped would be an asset at the meeting.

  Max went downstairs to the kitchen to start on the coffee and see what he could make for breakfast. He knew Cheyenne liked coffee since he’d seen her drink it more than once before with a gleam in her eyes. What she wanted for breakfast, however, he didn’t know. But he’d seen her eat bacon, so that would have to suffice while he waited for her to wake up so he could see how she liked her eggs—if she even liked them.

  After he’d given her his shirt the night before, she’d gone to bed. He’d heard the sound of her soft breathing as she slept when he prowled by her door, his wolf—and the man—needing to know she was safe. He’d let her sleep even when Brie and Dawn brought over some clothes and things that Dhani and Kameron had collected for her. He’d ignored the joy from his wolf about the fact that Cheyenne was now drenched in his scent from his shirt. If she had waited an hour to go to sleep, that might not have been the case.

  If it weren’t for the fact that Kameron was mated and had literally brought his mate with him, Max might have had an issue with his cousin touching Cheyenne’s things, but based on the scents, Dhani had done it all.

  Max had left the suitcase near the guest bedroom door, and as he passed the room on his way to the stairs, he’d noticed the bag was inside. Cheyenne was awake. He’d have known that from the sounds of her moving around anyway, but he tried not to use his enhanced senses to spy on her.

  Tried.

  He heard her coming down the stairs as he placed the bacon in the oven to cook. He liked it crispy, and that was his favorite way to do it without splattering himself with hot grease. And it was easier, frankly, to move around the kitchen and work on the other parts of breakfast if he didn’t have to worry about an extra pan. He missed his arm most days, but while cooking was one of the times he missed it the most. He’d learned to overcome, but he still got angry sometimes at what he’d lost thanks to the greed and fear of others.

  “Good morning,” he said quietly, not facing her. He was trying to cut bread to make toast, and he needed to focus.

  “Good morning.” She cleared her throat. “The coffee smells amazing. May I have some?”

  He nodded and looked over his shoulder, trying not to swallow his tongue at the sight of her in tight jeans and a sweater. He’d always liked her curves and had done his best not to stare at them. But since she still smelled of him even after her shower and she was in his house, it was hard not to stare.

  Not to want.

  Not to need.

  “I made enough for us both. I remembered you liked coffee with cream, but I didn’t know about the sugar. It’s on the counter, though, if you need it.”

  She tilted her head as she studied him, the gesture so wolf that he almost forgot she was still human. He pushed away that thought though because if she were truly his mate, then she couldn’t remain human for long. Her life would only be tied to his and its longevity if she were a witch or turned into a wolf. She’d eventually age and die, tearing half his soul away and losing part of herself in the process if she didn’t relinquish her humanity. It wasn’t an easy choice, nor was it something that had seemed fair in his mind, but they were the rules of the moon goddess from long ago, and though their deity meddled in some special cases—like theirs for instance—he didn’t know what would happen when it came to Cheyenne and her humanity.

  That was another discussion they’d need to have, but since he was almost forced to take her choice away once, he wouldn’t do it again.

  “I know we know each other and have picked up a few things over the time I’ve known about Dawn and her new Pack, your Pack, but I still feel like there’s so much to learn. So much.”

  “Because there is.” He shrugged and went back to cutting the bread. “Doesn’t mean you have to learn it all right now.”

  “That’s true.” She worked alongside him, adding sugar and cream to her coffee. He took note of how much she used so he would be able to make it for her the next time. He didn’t know why he took immense pleasure in that, but since he did, he wasn’t going to push it away. He hadn’t been able to find happiness or enjoyment in most things lately.

  She sipped her coffee as he slid the bread into the toaster but didn’t pu
sh the lever down. “Can I help?”

  “I’ve got it down, though I don’t know how you like your eggs or if you even eat bread. I know you like bacon, though.”

  She grinned. “I love bacon. The crispier, the better.”

  “That’s my kind of bacon.” He grinned at her, and his face ached as if he hadn’t smiled in far too long. He didn’t like to think about that.

  “I like your smile,” she said suddenly as if she were reading his thoughts. “You should do it more often.”

  His smile didn’t fade, but he turned away from her. “How do you like your eggs?”

  “Over-easy, but if you don’t like frying them, I don’t mind scrambled.”

  “I’m over a hundred and fifty years old, Cheyenne. I’ve learned how to flip an egg. And I like over-easy, too.”

  She stiffened next to him. “I forget that all of you are so much older than me.”

  He cracked the eggs in the pan and looked over at her. “We are. I’m not the youngest since the triplets—Kameron, Walker, and Brandon—have that honor, but Mitchell is my older brother.”

  Cheyenne stood beside him, her back resting against the edge of the counter as she sipped her coffee. “I forget that you and Mitchell aren’t actually brothers with the others.”

  “We grew up like siblings. Our fathers were siblings and in the hierarchy of the Pack, with my Uncle Joseph being the Alpha. My dad, Abraham, was the Enforcer. They both did horrible things, along with my other uncles. They turned our Pack into something darker than what the Aspens seem like right now. The old Central Pack, the other Pack that lies between the Redwoods and the Talons, was the only one worse than us since they summoned a literal demon to try and take over the world. But that’s another story.”

  Her eyes wide, she turned slightly to face him. “A demon?”

  “I’ll let my cousin Brynn and her mate, Finn, the Heir to the Redwood Pack, tell that story. He was only a kid when it all happened, but he was there and remembers most of it. The Centrals have a new den, a new Alpha, and a new Pack now, and when Gideon took care of our old Alpha, and we all took care of the uncles and my father, Gideon became our Alpha and the Pack slowly healed. It took decades for the moon goddess to forgive us, and for us to function like we should have been doing the whole time, but we’re stronger than ever. I just wish we were stronger than the Aspens. Blade has had centuries to build up his ranks, and the man is one formidable Alpha. It’s not easy to fight him when he uses powers we can’t because we’re not willing to risk our souls.”

  Cheyenne set down her coffee. “By take care of your uncles, you mean kill them, right? That’s the only way for the hierarchy to change. For the others to die?”

  He’d hoped she would miss that part of what he’d said since he’d put a lot out there just then, but he couldn’t ignore it. His Pack was strong because his family made the tough decisions.

  Fate hadn’t allowed Cheyenne to escape that, no matter how hard she might have wanted to try. So, she would have to see the reality of where she was now, even if it wouldn’t be easy for any of them.

  “We killed my father and the rest because they were killing innocents and doing things I’m not going to mention, not now, and maybe not ever. I don’t like killing, but I’ve done it to protect my people and have done it on a battlefield.”

  “I get it, Max. I’m not judging. And I never would.” She sounded sincere, and he figured she was.

  He gave her a tight nod. “And, no, the natural way for the hierarchy to change is when the next generation is old enough, and the Alpha is ready to step down. The Redwoods moved up earlier than expected because of what happened when the demon attacked. Again, another story that’s not mine to tell. My brother and cousins should have moved up about a decade or so before they did, but the old guard didn’t want to relinquish control. In a healthy Pack, it would have been easy. We were not healthy. As it is, when Fallon gets older, and Brie and Gideon have a bunch more kids, those children will be part of the new hierarchy.” He paused. “Well, when it’s time, Ryder will give up the mantle of Heir to Fallon, and then the rest will most likely be Brie and Gideon’s kids. Sometimes, it goes to cousins like it did with Mitchell. Sometimes, it goes to other members of the Pack that are needed. It all depends on the generation, and Fallon and the other kids are far too young to tell right now. Okay, other than Fallon. She already smells of a future Alpha.”

  Cheyenne blinked. “That’s the most I’ve ever heard you speak.”

  He shrugged again, plating their meals. He was glad that she didn’t move in to help since he had it down, but he knew that if he truly needed help with something he was physically unable to do, she’d step right in. Cheyenne was good with people and with animals. He was lucky that he was both.

  “You asked a question that needed a detailed answer. Want to eat in here or in the dining room?”

  She took her plate and went to the kitchen island that had a couple of bar stools. “Here is fine. I love your kitchen.”

  The room could be hers too if their mating actually worked out.

  He didn’t say anything though since neither of them was ready for that.

  “I like to cook. I had to change a few things around when I lost my arm, but I’m getting better at figuring out what I have to do in order to function the way I need to.”

  “You have almost perfect mobility, I noticed. Nothing slows you down, and it shouldn’t. You just have to take a few different steps than the rest of us. I hope you know that if you need my help, though, I’ll be right there. I won’t barge in, but if you need me to make it easier for you, I can do it. I’m sure your family does the same since they’re smart and caring people and know you need your space.”

  They did, and they hadn’t pressed. They’d just let him do what he needed, or at least thought he needed. He’d been the one to push them away, and he was surprised at how insightful Cheyenne was about it all. Though he probably shouldn’t be since she tended to study everyone and everything around her.

  “We need to head to the Pack circle soon. Brie and Dawn brought over your things yesterday. And it was Dhani who picked stuff from your place, not another wolf who doesn’t know you. Kameron was with her, but they said he didn’t go inside since he didn’t want to encroach on your space.”

  “Thank you for that. I’ll thank them, as well. I’m doing my best to compartmentalize right now because it’s so much. I already called someone to help out with the clinic and told them I’d be out for two weeks. I might lose some business, but I think it’s the only way to keep them safe and for me to figure out what’s going on.”

  “I know it sucks that we’re pretty much taking over your life, but I don’t really know what we can do about it right now.” He wanted to reach out and hold her, to soothe her in some way, but she wasn’t wolf—not yet—and it had been a while since he’d willingly touched another and let them touch him. The fact that he’d been doing so much of it with Cheyenne recently should have worried him, but his wolf wouldn’t let him.

  “You’re not the one that stabbed me and used my blood to make some stone do something I’m not really sure I want to know about. You’re just the one who tried to save my life.”

  He let out a growl, and she just sighed. “I’ll kill him for that.”

  “You’re going to have to stand in line. And not just behind me since I have a feeling that more than one of your family members wants to rip him limb from limb.”

  “You’re not wrong.”

  She snorted and finished up her breakfast, him doing the same. They quickly worked on the dishes in silence—a comfortable one, thankfully—and then headed out to the Pack circle. He didn’t hold her hand this time, but they were close enough that he could protect her in case something came at them. And because he wanted that free range of motion, he had his good arm away from her. Every once in a while, she brushed his other arm and the space where his lower arm and hand used to be. It should have bothered him, but it didn’t, not
with her.

  And he had a feeling it had everything to do with the woman she was and not just because of the bond between them.

  By the time they reached the Pack circle, he was aware that almost everyone was staring at the two of them. He knew that there were already rumors about Cheyenne becoming part of the Pack, even if they didn’t know the full truth of it. Some of the stronger wolves would be able to feel the start of the new bonds in the Pack’s magic. Others would have noticed that she’d been at the clinic with Walker rather than at a human one. And even more would have seen her walk into Max’s home and come out of it the next morning. With his scent covering her thanks to his shirt the night before, some would wonder what had happened between them.

  She was his mate, in bond only for now. She didn’t bear his mark yet. If and when they discussed what was going on between them and what the moon goddess had done, that fact would have to change. His wolf liked the idea of her walking through the crowd with his mark on her shoulder for all to see, while the man wanted to keep what they had—or what they could have if he didn’t let himself think too hard—private.

  The Pack had always watched him. Once because he was the only member of his family who could smile no matter what. Max had been shielded from his father by Mitchell, he knew that. He’d gone through his own hell with his father and uncles, yes, but Mitchell had always taken the brunt of it. Max had tried to intervene, but it had never been enough. But he’d also been able to see the good in people and his Pack, the bright things in his life.

  Then, everything changed, and the humans took more from him than his arm.

  They took his spirit.

  His will.

  And then the others watched him because of that.

  He slid his arm around Cheyenne, pulling her closer as they made their way to where the family would sit in the stone arena. She gave him an odd look before turning back to watch where she was going. She might not be able to feel the stares of those around them, but he could, and he didn’t want anyone to think she was fair game without the mark.

 

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