“I want a baby!” she announced with an urgency that startled him.
In that instant, memories of his dreams evaporated and he stiffened with horror. “A baby?”
She laughed and patted his shoulder. He liked the touch, but not the conversation. Babies were good…for someone else! And not for Jessa! Hell, his brother Oz was about to be a father, his wife Charlotte was hugely pregnant and glowing. Those two were thrilled but…nope. Not for him!
“Why the hell do you want a baby?”
She didn’t bother to look at him when she explained, “Because I’m thirty years old and my biological clock is ticking away and getting louder by the day.”
He shifted uncomfortably in his chair and took a long draw from his beer. “But…”
Another soft laugh. “Don’t worry, Jayce. You’re not daddy material. I’m not a threat to your bachelor lifestyle.”
Her reassurance was both comforting and insulting. For a long moment, he was silent. Unfortunately, he couldn’t stop the question that popped into his mind. “Why the hell wouldn’t I be daddy material?” he asked sharply.
Finally, she pulled her gaze away from that damn glass of wine, shooting him a look as if the answer should be obvious. “Because I know you don’t want to have kids. And because we’re friends.” She grinned and shrugged one shoulder slightly. “But not that type of friends,” she clarified, looking out at the water.
That sounded even worse for some reason. “What type of friend am I then?”
Once again, he felt her hand on his shoulder. He knew she was trying to soothe him, but the touch wasn’t soothing. Just the opposite, in fact.
“Jayce, you are a sweet, wonderful guy, and we are just friends.” There was a pause and he felt her eyes on him. “Right?” Another long pause.
He lifted his beer bottle, thinking about that, trying to figure out what was wrong with what she’d just said. “Right,” he finally agreed, but…it didn’t feel right.
They were friends. Why did it bother him that she’d so completely dismissed him from her list of solutions?
Jessa pulled her hand back and his shoulder felt cold. He wanted her hand back, touching him, warming him.
But Jessa was looking out over the water, her eyes a million miles away. “I’m just so sick of dating. The men in my past,” she groaned, letting her head fall back against the back of the chair as she looked up at the stars. “I have horrible judgement when it comes to men. They are either liars and cheats, or something is wrong with them. I’m like a stupid-man magnet.” She lifted her head to look at him. “How am I supposed to have a baby when I can’t even find a guy I want to have sex with?”
He’d heard a lot about her dates. Every night after one of her dates, she’d come here to their place and she’d tell him all about the evening. They’d laugh and talk and she’d sip wine and sigh about how she wanted a man who stirred something inside of her other than amusement. Brian had been the only man she’d dated more than once over the past year. “You didn’t want to have sex with Brian?”
She groaned. “No. Now that he’s out of my life, I can admit that. He was nice enough.” She thought about that for a moment. “Correction. Now that I know he was cheating on me, he wasn’t nice enough. He was just a jerk who wanted to get laid. I can see that now.”
“Hindsight.”
“Exactly.” She took a sip of her wine. “I need to find a guy who is strong and steady.”
Jayce grunted, thinking that he was strong enough, but physical strength probably wasn’t what she meant. “Sounds boring.”
She laughed. “Not boring. It means I want someone who likes me for who I am, quirks and all. Someone who is good to talk with, that I can have great conversations with.”
Jayce thought of himself. But the shock of that thought was so surprising that he shifted in his chair.
Jenna continued on as if she hadn’t noticed his discomfort. “Someone who is employed would be nice,” she added. “And a guy I can depend on in a crisis.”
“You’ve dated men who were unemployed?” he asked, surprised. Why the hell would Jessa, beautiful, brilliant, and wonderful Jessa date an ass who couldn’t even find work?!
Another laugh. “Oh yeah. I’ve had a pathetic dating life.” They sat there for a long moment.
“I’m going to go to a sperm bank,” she announced.
Jayce had just taken a sip of beer but, with her words, he spewed it all over the stone patio in front of him. When he’d recovered enough, he glanced at her, still not sure he’d heard her correctly. “I’m sorry, but…what the hell did you just say?”
She patted his back and he wanted to pull her hand around so that she was touching his chest instead of his back.
“I want to have a baby. It just occurred to me that I don’t need a man to make that happen.” Jessa beamed, a stunned and increasingly happy look coming over her lovely features. “I can just get it done in the nice, clean environment of a sperm bank.” The longer she talked, the stronger her voice became. It was almost as if she were working this issue through in her mind and it was making more sense to her as she thought about it. “Yeah, from what I’ve heard, I can even pick out the characteristics of the father.”
Huh? “What?”
She sat back, and he watched with increasing frustration as she wiggled her cute butt, settling into the chair. Damn it, she was really getting into this idea!
“Yeah! I can choose sperm donated by someone tall and interesting, smart and from whatever career I like.”
Was she serious? From the excited glow in her pretty, brown eyes, she was! Damn it!
“What do you want the father to look like?” he asked.
“Tall. Dark haired. Strong. Capable.” He noticed her head tilt slightly, but couldn’t see her eyes now that the sun had set. “He has to be educated. He has to be intelligent and capable. Someone with integrity, but I’m not exactly sure how to determine that from a description on a piece of paper.”
“And you think you can get all of that?”
She shrugged. “Sure, why not?”
“Tall order,” he said, trying to think of a way to discourage her. He didn’t like this plan, but he couldn’t put his finger on exactly why.
“No pun intended?” she teased.
He chuckled, but inside, he was furious. A sperm bank? What the hell?! They talked about other things for a while and he asked about the plot to the book she was working on. She’d taken a new turn on this mystery and it was going to be another best seller, just from the sound of it.
It was late before they separated for the night. But even as he lay in bed, staring up at the ceiling, he knew that he didn’t like the thought of Jessa going to a sperm bank to get pregnant. Not even a little.
Later that night, Jessa stared up at the ceiling, thinking about Jayce. He was so handsome and so huge and so…everything she wanted in a man! And yet, he was so unattainable.
Rolling over, she punched her pillow, trying to find a comfortable position. But too many nights were like this. Too many nights, she struggled to fall asleep, thinking about Jayce and his shoulders, his arms, his chest. Wondering what it would be like if he just took her into his arms and…well, her mind wandered after that. But almost every fantasy centered around him pulling her into his arms and…doing things. Lots of things. Sometimes, it was just laughter. But a lot of times, he’d make love to her over and over again, showing her all the ways that a man could pleasure a woman. All the ways she’d never experienced!
What did he sleep in? Was he naked right now? Just boxers? Or was he the tighty-whitey kind? She doubted it. He didn’t look like the kind of man who wanted anything tight around his body. Including a woman.
He’d been pretty quiet tonight. Had she shocked him with her idea about the sperm bank? Or was he horrified that she would want to get pregnant without being married? Surely not, she thought. Nothing in their previous conversations would indicate that the man was socially conservative. She
’d had homosexual characters in her novels and he hadn’t even blinked when she’d discussed their roles in the plot.
Still, what did the man do for a living? He was so secretive about that. And why did he disappear suddenly? One day, he was here, talking with her and debating whatever news had happened during the day, and the next, he was gone. He’d reappear just as suddenly a few days later. No explanation. Nothing.
At first, when he’d disappeared, she’d thought that she’d done or said something to offend him. But when he showed up again with his beer in hand, as if nothing had happened, she accepted that he was just mysterious.
“This is not a good pastime,” she muttered to herself. Not for the first time either. Jessa knew that she’d spent way too much time thinking about her handsome neighbor. But seriously…would any woman not think about Jayce? He was…he was buff. And funny! Goodness, he could make her laugh! And sweet, kind, considerate. Jayce Cole was the kind of man that women only dreamed of, but…he was here. Her neighbor.
And a friend.
Just a friend.
Rolling over, she tried to fall sleep, but whenever she closed her eyes, all she could see was Jayce, his big, strong hands touching her, his green eyes lighting up with…well, she wasn’t really sure what they would light up with. It had been so long since she’d been intimate with a man. Her former fiancé hadn’t been very big on sex which, turns out, was a good thing since he discovered a week before their wedding that he was gay. A shock, yes. But it relieved some of her anxiety about their wedding day. She hadn’t been overly interested in him anyway.
So, why had she agreed to marry him?
Because two years ago, she’d been sick of dating. She’d had a series of bad relationships. George had been nice, kind, and attentive. He was always on time for their dates. He was considerate of her feelings and a great cook.
Not exactly a recipe for an exciting life, but she’d thought it was enough.
That was before she’d met Jayce.
What was it about Jayce that tempted her so much? Initially, she’d glimpsed a huge man with too many muscles and dismissed him. Every time she’d seen him working out in his backyard, he’d tugged off his shirt and…well, she was only human. She’d watched from her window.
That wasn’t so bad. Even Ms. Scarlett, the mischievous octogenarian of their quirky town, had heard about Jayce’s yard work attire, or lack of attire, and had led her grey haired ladies over, they opened up lawn chairs and sat down on the sidewalk, eating popcorn and watching Jayce mow the grass.
Jayce had caught her laughing that afternoon and that had been the end of her resistance to his friendship. Now they talked whenever he was in town.
She suspected that he was much wealthier than he let on, which she actually liked. Overt displays of wealth weren’t really interesting. The man drove a luxury car that seemed powerful and sexy. And his house was beautifully decorated. But other than that, he wasn’t ostentatious. Well, he had what she suspected were hand tailored suits. And yeah, she loved watching him walk out of his house each morning. There wasn’t an ounce of fat on his body! So when he stepped out in those suits…oh my! Was there anything better than a man’s tight butt in a pair of dress slacks?
Jessa groaned and rolled back over. The clock on her cell phone clicked over to one fifteen. Another sleepless night. If she didn’t get to sleep, she was going to miss him going to work tomorrow morning.
“No way!” she muttered to the dark bedroom. “That’s definitely not going to happen!” Besides talking to Jayce every night out by the water and watching him walk out of the house in the morning were the highlights of her day!
Getting up, she padded barefoot into the kitchen and poured some milk into a plastic container. Popping it into the microwave, she stood there gazing out into the night as she waited for her milk to heat up. Warm milk usually put her right to sleep.
That’s when she saw him.
Breathless now, she slipped over to the doors and peeked out. He wasn’t wearing anything but a tight pair of boxers, the soft, cotton material clinging to his butt. And it was even better now in the moonlight than it was in the morning covered with a pair of dress slacks.
Good grief, the man was built! She’d watched him mow the grass just as every other warm-blooded woman did. But this…this seemed even better. Maybe because she was the only one looking. It seemed more intimate somehow.
The microwave beeped.
At that same moment, Jayce turned, looking right at her. There was no way he could have heard the microwave beep! No one’s hearing was that good!
Was it?
Regardless, he watched her. Waited.
She knew what he wanted. She lifted her finger up, telling him to wait. She walked over to the microwave and took the milk out, pouring it into a mug, then adding a bit of honey. Warm milk wasn’t good without something to sweeten it up.
She then carried her mug out onto the stone patio, trembling with awareness that she tried to hide from Jayce.
The stone was cold under her bare feet as she approached Jayce in the quiet of the night.
“Are you okay?” she asked softly.
He was silent for a long moment, then he nodded. “Yeah. I’m okay.”
Jessa wasn’t convinced. “Why are you up at this time of the night?”
One of his big, muscular shoulders went up and down. “Why are you?”
She smiled. There was no way she was going to tell him that she’d been thinking about making love with him, wondering if he was as big…um…everywhere else. And wondering what it would be like to kiss him. To have the freedom to explore every inch of his huge, muscular body.
No, that wouldn’t be wise. Their friendship would disappear and Jessa was discovering that she cherished her friendship with Jayce too much to put it in jeopardy.
“I was thinking about things,” she told him. Not really a lie, but not the complete truth either.
“Your book?”
She laughed. “Yeah, some of the things I was thinking about will go into my book. Definitely.”
“Intriguing,” he said softly, taking her hand and pulling her closer. “Like what?”
Another choked sound that might have been laughter, or it might have been horror that he could ever find out what she’d been thinking. “Oh, this and that.”
“Sexy this and that?” he asked.
Oh my! Had the world just slowed down? Could he hear her heart rate accelerate? “Why would you say that?” She stood very still, hoping he wouldn’t ask any more detailed questions.
“Because you’re wearing a very thin shirt,” he commented.
Jessa looked down at the satin nightshirt she’d forgotten she’d pulled on hours ago. Sure enough, her nipples pressed against the thin material. “Oh, goodness,” she gasped and covered her breasts with her arms.
He chuckled. “I like it.”
Another snort. “You do not. It’s embarrassing.”
“You’re kidding, right?”
“Of course not! We’re friends!”
Nothing. Just silence. She sipped her warm milk, wishing that the night was cold so she could blame her nipple issue on the cold air. But it wasn’t. In fact, the night was balmy, like a soft, humid caress against her skin. “I’d better head back inside.”
“So you can come up with a game plan on your pregnancy issue?”
She paused and glanced back at him, almost laughing at how close he was to the truth. “Something like that. Good night.”
She walked inside, painfully aware of him watching her. The nightshirt was pretty short and she knew that she must look silly like this. But hey, she’d come outside just to talk and make sure he was okay. It was Jayce, after all. He didn’t think of her like that.
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