I’M SITTING ON MY couch, wrapped in the softest blanket I could find. It’s the only thing that brings me any sense of comfort lately. After the fight between Colton and Maverick, I waited another three days before I finally went back to my house. My mom was starting to get worried and I didn’t want to go into the details of everything that happened. The truth of the matter is, we all seemed to lose everything that day.
Parker had called and asked if we could get together and talk. He’s still hurt, obviously so, but he told me that he partially blames himself. He feels like if he hadn’t been so busy with med school, I wouldn’t have felt the need to stray. If I’m honest, I think it would have happened anyway, but the point is moot. I agreed to come home, and for the last week since I’ve been back, he’s been trying to be more attentive.
I’d be lying if I said I’m not still dealing with the pain of losing Colton. When the house is empty, which thankfully is often, I spend my days watching Netflix and crying over a tub of ice cream. It may not be the healthiest thing, but it’s all I can manage lately. Quitting that man cold turkey is the hardest thing I’ve ever done, and now I’ve had to do it twice.
The front door opens and before I know it, Tatum and Ivy are standing in between me and the TV, blocking my view. They both have determined looks on their faces that make me dread whatever is about to come from their mouths.
“Get up.” Ivy demands.
I cringe. “I’d really rather not.”
“I don’t care what you’d rather do. We’re going out to lunch, so get up.”
I can’t necessarily blame them ambushing me. I have been dodging all calls and texts for the past week and a half. It’s clear they decided on good cop and bad cop before coming in, because as Ivy yells at me to get dressed, Tatum rubs my back and whispers that it’ll be good for me.
“I’m not hungry.” I grumble as I pull the shirt Ivy picked out over my head.
She shrugs. “That’s fine. You can watch us eat.”
“Sounds like a blast.”
It takes longer than I’d like to admit to brush all the knots out of my hair. Self-care hasn’t exactly been my top priority as of late. Still, once I’m done, the three of us climb into Tatum’s car and head for the restaurant. They opt for a little place on the water, 7th Wave. Years ago, it used to be my favorite. However, now the only thing I can think of is how you can just barely see the gap in the trees and the stone ledge of mine and Colton’s secret spot. I don’t think I’ll ever be able to handle going up there again. My heart will never mend enough for that.
As the waitress comes around, we all order drinks. Tatum and Ivy opt for water, but I ask for a glass of wine. Ivy narrows her eyes at me but waits until the three of us are alone again before saying anything.
“If you’re going to drink, you need to eat something.”
I scoff and focus on Tatum. “When did she become such a hard-ass?”
Tatum laughs but Ivy doesn’t lighten up. “McKenna.”
“Alright, alright.” I cave. “I promise I’ll eat something, Mom.”
Despite the level of sass and sarcasm that drips from my tone, Ivy seems satisfied by my vow. I open the menu and look for the smallest thing I can find. I said I’d eat something. I didn’t say it would be filling.
“So, I came up with this new recipe at work the other day. It’s so good. I took-”
“Is that what we’re gonna do?” I cut her off. “Act like everything is completely normal and hasn’t gone to shit?” My attention goes to Tatum. “Have you heard anything from Colton? Is he okay?”
“I don’t think this is a safe topic to talk about.” Ivy intrudes, but I give her a dirty look.
“Then go somewhere else. I want to know.”
She looks at Tate and then sighs, nodding. Tatum seems to understand and smiles sadly at me. “I haven’t spoken to him much. Last I heard, he’s staying at a motel for now.”
I hum. “But he’s safe? He’s alive?”
“Yeah.”
“That’s good. And Maverick? Is he still furious?”
Something in her face twitches, telling me it’s been more than difficult to handle my brother lately. “He is, but I’ve been working on him. I think I’ll get him to come around soon, at least enough to have a civil conversation with Colton. They need to clear the air.”
“They do. I never meant for all this to happen. I didn’t think it would go so wrong.”
Ivy puts down her phone and looks at me. “Okay, fine. You want to talk about this, we’ll talk about it. You seriously chose Parker?! After everything, you chose Parker?!”
I take a deep breath. I knew this question was bound to be asked at one point. Both of them were convinced I was going to end up with Colton. Hell, I thought the same thing. I know I could lie, tell them that I realized Parker is the one for me, but if I can’t be honest with my best friends, my life will become a lonely place.
“I didn’t.” I confess. “Roman came to my house before the party and made me realize that Colton was the one I wanted. I came to the party to tell him, but when I got there, he was with Olivia.”
“Olivia?!” Ivy gasps then turns to Tatum. “What the fuck was Olivia doing there?!”
“Maverick invited her. He thought Colton needed to get laid so he would stop being such a prick.”
Ivy rolls her eyes and shakes her head. “Okay, but I thought Mav threatening you was the reason you didn’t leave with Colton.”
“It was.” I take a sip of my wine and lean back in my seat. “At first, anyway. But then I kept thinking about how Colton was letting her hang all over him to make my brother believe his plan was working. It was that important to him to hide us from Maverick, and it made me think about what he was doing the first time we were together. I mean, I always assumed there were other girls, but seeing him with her just confirmed it for me I guess.”
Tatum cringes. “Actually, that part may be my fault.”
“What do you mean?”
“Well, he wanted to go find you as soon as I told him you’d been staying at your parents’ house. I guess he realized he made a mistake not talking to you. But then, Mav came back with Olivia and he was stuck. If he tried to leave, she would have insisted on going with him. I told him to please Maverick for a couple hours by talking to Liv, and then sneak out after Roman showed up.”
Her explanation provides a little bit of relief, knowing it wasn’t all his idea, but still – he let it go too far. “You told him to talk to her, not make it look like they were together. I mean, he can’t handle seeing me in the same room as Parker. Can you imagine the fit he would throw if he saw his hands on me?”
They both snicker. “Point made.” Ivy says. “But if you chose Colton, how did you end up back with Parker? If you’re only staying with him because you don’t want to be alone, is that really fair?”
“I was going to end things with him. I swear, I was, but when we met at the restaurant, I felt warm again.” I shrug. “He loves me and all he wants is to make me happy. With him, I never need to worry about other women, pissed off brothers, or even getting my heart broken again. Everything’s so simple and easy.”
Tatum makes a face but doesn’t say anything. Ivy, however, forgets how to filter herself. “So that’s it?! You’re going to marry Parker just because you’re too afraid to take a risk?! Mac, you love Colton. You have for as long as I can remember.”
I keep my eyes trained on the tablecloth in front of me. “Sometimes, the love of your life isn’t what’s best for you after all.”
COLTON
The sound of pounding on the door pulls me from my drunken slumber. I pull the pillow over my head, but it’s no use. I’d like to tell whoever it is to fuck off, but it could be the housekeeper and my mother taught me manners. When the banging doesn’t stop, I get up and walk over to the door.
“I’m coming, I’m coming.” I open it only to find Rome standing there. “Oh, it’s just you.”
Attempting to shut
the door in his face, he shoves his boot in the way and forces himself into the room. “Not today, asshole.”
He walks over to the window and pulls the blinds open. The amount of light that fills the room causes a shooting pain to ricochet in my head. I wince and use my arm to shield my eyes.
“Do you mind?!”
“No.” He snaps back. “What the fuck are you doing, Colton? Do you really think this is what McKenna wants for you?!”
“Don’t! You don’t get to say her name to me! No one does!”
Two weeks ago, when I stood there vulnerable as hell and waiting for her to come with me, I finally felt what she did four years ago. A part of me knew the only reason she stayed was because of Maverick, but it didn’t make the pain any less excruciating. When faced with the same decision I was, Maverick or our relationship, she chose Maverick. I couldn’t necessarily blame her for it. After all, I had done the same thing.
I stayed on the boat that night, hoping she’d come find me, but she never showed. The next morning, I stopped at the liquor store and then checked into the motel. Thanks to my good friend Jack Daniels, it didn’t take long to numb the pain. Thoughts of her still plagued my mind, but the emptiness in my chest ached a little less. I don’t know how she got through feeling like this while staying sober. If I ever talk to her again, I’m sure that’s something I’ll ask.
I’ve had a few people check on me, like Tatum and Rome. Even Ivy has called a couple times, but the only thing I have from the person who matters is a text message.
I’m sorry.
She sent it two days after everything was shot to hell. I didn’t know what to say, and still don’t, so I never answered. Any time I’ve asked Tatum how she is, she dodges the question. That could mean one of two things – she’s just as broken as I am, or she’s back with Parker. I don’t have the balls to ask which it is.
“You’ve got to get back to work.” Rome tells me. “Two weeks is long enough to wallow in self-pity. You have clients, and a business to run.”
I roll my eyes and grab the bottle of Jack from the mini-fridge. “You can’t fucking tell me what to do. I’m your boss!”
He gets up, ripping the bottle from my hands. “I’m your right-hand man, douchebag. Unless you want to ruin everything that you’ve worked so hard to build, you need to get your ass back to work, sober.”
“Fuck off. I could fire you.”
He goes to say something, but then looks down at his phone. His expression changes. “Take a shower and get dressed. You smell like a distillery.”
I could fight him on it, tell him to get the fuck out and not come back, but my words would just be wasted breaths. I know that if I push him too far, he’ll pick me up and throw me into the shower, clothes on and all. So, instead of making things harder on myself, I grumble a final ‘screw you’ and head to the bathroom.
SITTING IN HIS JEEP, I carefully watch every turn he makes. Apparently, I’m not allowed to know where we’re going, but if this fucker pulls up to an AA meeting, I’ll deck him right in the face. I’m not an alcoholic. I’m just using the liquid gold to make everything hurt a little less. My tension eases slightly when we pass the church. I know from living here most of my life that they host meetings in the basement on the weekends. However, as we pull up to the familiar house, my stomach churns.
“What the fuck are we doing here?!”
He doesn’t answer me as he shuts off the car and climbs out. Reluctantly, and because I’m given much choice, I follow. We climb the steps of the house I’ve lived in for the past six months and step inside. The sound of the football game can be heard from the door. Tatum has been known to watch the sport occasionally, but only Maverick tunes in to the preseason games.
Sure enough, we walk into the living room to find Mav sitting on the couch. He nods a silent hello at Rome but doesn’t even look my way. Not going to lie, his lack of acknowledging my presence stings. Him and I have been best friends for the last fifteen years. I never thought anything would get in between us, but I guess I was wrong.
“Sit.” Rome tells me in his authoritative voice. I flip him off but do what he says anyway. “I’m going to be in the other room so you two dumbasses don’t kill each other.”
He walks out, leaving Maverick and I alone. The tension in here is so thick I could choke on it. I run my hands over my face, still trying to rid myself of this hangover.
“You look like shit.” Mav tells me.
I roll my eyes. “Thanks asshole. You don’t look much better.”
“I do.” He chuckles. “Rome said you haven’t been at work in a while.” I grunt. “And that you’ve practically been drinking yourself to death.”
“What the fuck is this, an intervention?!”
“No, fucker, but you’re better than this shit. What the hell are you doing with your life?!”
A dry laugh emits from the back of my throat. “Don’t you get it?! My life lost its significance the second you threatened the best thing in it into leaving me.”
His eyes widen at my admission. “McKenna?”
The name alone shoots daggers straight through my heart. “No, the pope. Yes, McKenna, dickwad.”
“I don’t get it. You could have almost any girl you want. Why the hell did you have to pick her?! She’s my little sister!”
“You think I don’t realize that?!” I run my fingers through my hair. “I tried for years to get over it. To convince myself it was only because she was the forbidden fruit, that it was just a phase – but none of it ever worked. The more I saw her, the more I needed her attention. Just being in the same room as her helped feed the monster inside me for a little while. Then one day, it didn’t.”
He nods, focusing down at his lap. “Don’t think I haven’t put two and two together. You said you two had a thing before she moved to New York. She wouldn’t come anywhere near this town for years after she left, and never once asked how you were doing. She had asked about Tatum, and Roman, and our parents, but always avoided the topic of you. You hurt her, didn’t you?”
“Yes.” I confess, thankful that Rome is nearby. “The day before she left, she told me she wanted more. She wanted to tell everyone about our relationship and try to make the long-distance thing work.”
His eyebrows raise. “And you turned her down?”
“I was a chicken shit. I was too afraid of what you would think and to lose you as a friend. Hell, maybe I even feared for my life a little bit.” I tell him, reliving the biggest mistake of my life. “By the time I realized my mistake, it was too late. She was gone.”
He looks like he’s running it all through his mind before he looks up and groans at the ceiling. “I’ll be honest, I don’t like it. Don’t get me wrong, you’re a great guy, but she’s my baby sister, man. You’ve known her since she was seven and you’re practically my brother. Isn’t that almost like incest?”
Well, that’s a gross thought, but not at all accurate. I shake my head. “She may be your sister, but she’s my everything.”
“Y-you’re in love with her, aren’t you?”
He knows that word isn’t something I take lightly. When I dated Olivia, she said it to me for most of the time we were together, and I never once said it back. I haven’t used that word to or about anyone – not that they know of anyway. Therefore, the heaviness of my answer is not lost on me.
“Yeah, I am. I have been for a long time.”
Grabbing the throw pillow from beside him, he throws it at me. “God damn it, Brooks. Now I feel like an asshole. I thought you two were just fooling around. She’s had a thing for you since we were kids and I thought you were taking advantage of that. But if this is serious…”
My eyes land on the large binder lying open on the coffee table. Tatum usually hides it when I’m around, so she must not have known I’d be coming here. As I glance at it, I see that she just made a call about catering yesterday. She’s still planning the wedding. There’s still a wedding.
“No.” My knu
ckle knocks twice against the table. “She made her choice. She’s his now.”
25
MCKENNA
The classroom is lined with all the brightest colors. My students’ names are written perfectly on desk mats. Even all my supplies are organized to a fault. To say I’m nervous about my first day would be an understatement. I’ve been imagining this for years and I need it to go flawlessly. Something in my life needs to be how I pictured it.
I watch the minutes tick by as I await the arrival of the tiny humans I get the pleasure of teaching this year. I’d met them all a week ago during orientation. Each one of them is so sweet and eager to learn. The amount of fun we’re going to have this year is immeasurable.
A knock on the door startles me. I place a hand on my heart and turn to see who it is. Principal Jackson enters the room with a shy smile, holding a vase of flowers.
“I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to scare you.”
I shake my head. “No, you’re fine. I was zoned out. What have you got there?”
“These were delivered for you.”
He places the vase on my desk and I catch a glimpse of the card.
Good luck on your first day. I love you. – Parker
The bouquet is beautiful, with white and pink roses, baby’s breath fillers, and vibrant green leaves. It’s everything I should love, but it only makes me think of the ones Colton sent me the morning of my interview. Calla lilies, my favorite.
“From your boyfriend?” Principal Jackson asks.
“Fiancé.” I smile. “We’re getting married at the end of this month.”
His eyebrows raise. “Wow, that’s fantastic. Congratulations!”
“Thank you.”
Tatum has been losing her mind with all the planning. I cannot count the number of times she’s yelled at me for not only making her do this on such short notice, but having her slow down for a couple of weeks. According to her, every minute is vital. A part of me considered using that as an excuse to postpone the wedding, but I couldn’t bring myself to tell Parker that I don’t want to marry him this fall - especially not when I know Tatum can get it done.
Returning to Rockport: A Brother's Best Friend Romance Page 27