“I can’t believe she drank that much. It’s so unlike her.”
I shrug. “She just found out her favorite person in the world is moving almost 3,000 miles away. I can’t say I blame her.”
He winces slightly. “Y-you know?”
“Yeah.” I focus on anything but him to keep from getting emotional. “Maverick told me. Everyone thinks it’s my fault.”
“Your fault?!” Even the idea of it seems to outrage him. “Why would they think it’s your fault?”
“Isn’t it?”
With the knuckle of his index finger, he lifts my chin until I’m looking right at him. The amount of sincerity in his eyes is overwhelming and I need to remind myself to breathe. He slides his hand down my arm but our gazes stay locked.
“Believe me when I say that you are not to blame for anything.”
“But-”
He shakes his head. “Not for anything, Princess. It hurts to leave you, to leave everyone but especially you. This is just something I need to do.”
I force myself to look away in fear of doing something I may regret. “This place isn’t going to be the same without you.”
“Maybe not at first, but soon, you’ll forget all about me.”
A wet laugh leaves my mouth as I wipe a stray tear from my cheek. “That will never happen. How could it when this whole place is filled with memories of you, of us?”
He sighs and turns to lean against the railing with me. “You’ll be busy. Your students will keep you distracted at work, and being a wife will keep you occupied at home. Eventually, you and Parker will start a family and you’ll have so many great things to look forward to. That’s all I’ve ever wanted for you, to have everything you’ve ever dreamed of.”
My heart is breaking as I listen to him, knowing this is likely the last time I’ll see him for a while. Doesn’t he realize that all I’ve ever dreamt of is him? For Christ sake, I’ve been dreaming of him since I was a child. Colton and I playing on the swings. Colton and I getting ice cream. Colton and I kissing. Colton and I getting married. Colton and I having a family. It’s always been him, and now he’s leaving. And me? I’m getting married to someone who isn’t him.
I love Parker, and I know our future together is so bright. He’ll always do whatever it takes to make me happy. He’ll be there to listen when I need him to, and give me space when I don’t want anyone around. He’s the ideal fiancé and I know he’ll make the perfect husband. Who knows, maybe Colton is right – but I doubt it. They say you never forget your first love, and I agree. He’s burned into my memory like a permanent brand. There will never be a way to rid myself of him. My four years away are enough proof of that.
“Well, for what it’s worth, I hope LA is everything you’re looking for.” I exhale and wipe the tears from my face. “I should get going though. Parker is probably going to get worried if I’m not home soon.”
He smiles but it doesn’t reach his eyes. “Right, of course. I’m glad we could clear the air before I left.”
“Me too.”
The two of us walk in silence back up the dock until we’re on solid ground. He opens his arms for a hug and I go willingly, allowing myself one last time of being wrapped in his hold and breathing in his intoxicating scent. It goes on for what feels like forever, neither one of us wanting to let go. Finally, we separate.
“Have a good flight.”
He nods. “Enjoy your wedding.”
I turn away from him and take a few steps when something hits me. “Colton.” I spin back around. “Remember when you asked me what my biggest regret is?”
“Yeah?”
“I can’t remember our last kiss.” I shrug in defeat. “That’s my biggest regret. That I didn’t commit it to memory so I could save it for a rainy day.”
He bites his lip and at first, I think he’s just not going to answer, but when I go to leave again, his voice hits my ears.
“You were half asleep. We had just made love on the boat and I asked you if you wanted anything to drink. You beckoned me toward you like you were going to whisper it in my ear or something, but instead, you put your hands on my cheeks and you kissed me.”
I can feel him behind me, and his fingers skim lightly from my shoulder down to my elbow. I slowly turn to face him. He’s already looking down at me, searching my eyes for something unbeknownst to me.
“Refresh my memory?” I whisper.
He smirks, putting a hand on each cheek and bringing his lips to mine. My breath hitches at how gentle it is, until I grab the collar of his sweatshirt and pull him closer. He laces his fingers into my hair and brings his other hand to my back. It’s intense, and electrifying, and unlike any kiss before it. My heart hurts when it all sinks in. This is goodbye.
28
COLTON
I slip the key into the lock and open the door. Of course this house would be finished the day before everything changes. Stepping inside, I look around – perfection. It’s exactly how I designed it; exactly how she explained it.
“When did you know that you wanted to be an architect?” McKenna asks with her head in my lap. She’s always so curious and I swear it’s going to be my undoing.
I run my fingers through her hair, feeling it’s silky softness. “I was eight. My parents got me legos for my birthday and I spent the whole day building a model of my dream house. I guess I had a knack for it, even at such a young age.”
Her smile brightens. “That’s amazing, to be so sure of what you want that early. Do you think you’ll ever build the life size version?”
“God, no. My mom showed me pictures. I put the bathroom on the front porch.”
She laughs along with me. “You have to have some kind of ideal house in mind though, don’t you?”
“Yeah, I guess.” I tell her. “But I think I’ll incorporate a little bit of it in every house I design. There are too many ideas in my head for just one place.” She hums in understanding. “What about you? You ever think about your dream house?”
Taking her bottom lip between her teeth, I will myself not to get turned on. Finally, her eyes meet mine and she nods. “A piece of property up high but still overlooking the water, with no other houses in sight. An open floor plan throughout most of the downstairs, with floor to ceiling windows across the whole back wall, so you can always admire the view.”
“That sounds nice. What else would it have?”
“A fireplace in white stone with a light gray granite hearth and mantle. The kitchen would be all white and there would be a wine fridge built in as one of the appliances. The whole outside would have a wrap around porch, and in the one corner would be a swing where I could sit and look out at the water – the perfect place to read.”
“And bedrooms?”
“Four. All of them would be upstairs. A guest room, the master, and two for our future kids.” She stops for a second. I don’t miss her slip up, but she keeps going before I can delve too deep in the idea of us raising a family together. “The master would of course have a balcony, so that I could wake up in the morning and go out there to welcome the day.”
If I’m being honest, I could sit here and listen to her for hours, but imagining a future together? I’m not willing to torture myself that much. One day, she’ll grow up and realize she deserves so much better than me. She’ll find someone else and I’ll stand in the audience next to her family, watching her father give her away to someone who isn’t me. I’m not delusional enough to think I’m the lucky bastard that will get to grow old with her. Even so, one day I’m going to build her that dream house.
For the rest of the summer after that conversation, we always managed to go back to the topic. She would throw out little details here and there, and I secretly wrote down every single one – not that I needed to. There isn’t much McKenna has told me that I’ve ever forgotten. Each memory I have with her is too sacred to let it slip my mind.
I sit down at the table and take a deep breath before putting my pen to pap
er.
Dear McKenna,
Congratulations on getting married. I always knew you would find someone who’d make you as happy as you deserve. I hope your future together is everything you’ve ever imagined it would be. Thank you for being there for me when I needed you, and for giving me a chance to say goodbye properly. You are, have been, and always will be my favorite memory. Maybe one day I’ll come to visit, and you and I will be able to talk like we once did, when things weren’t so complicated. You’ll tell me about how perfect your life is, and I’ll hang on every word, because that’s all I’ve ever wanted – for you to have true happiness. I’m so glad you found someone to give you that.
Enclosed in this envelope is my gift to you. I’ve already had my lawyer transfer the deed into your name. If you have any questions, his card is in there too. Please don’t try to tell me it’s too much, or that you can’t accept it. This place was yours from the start. It’s only right that I leave it to you.
I hope you achieve everything you want in life. I’ve been so lucky to have known you.
I love you.
I sign my name and slip the letter into the envelope with the deed and the keys. Admiring the breathtaking view once more, the swing catches my eye. I can picture it already – McKenna rocking back and forth with a little girl in her lap, reading her a story. It’s almost painful to picture, knowing I won’t be a part of it.
THAT NIGHT, I’M CARRYING my suitcase out to my car when Maverick pulls in the driveway. He eyes me with disdain before sighing and giving me a manly hug. I know he’s not happy about me leaving, but he understands why I feel like I need to.
“You’re not going to become one of those stuck-up California guys, are you?”
I laugh. “Not a chance. And if I do, I’m sure you’ll come kick my ass for it.”
“You better believe it.” He leans against my car and eyes the envelope on the seat. “What’s that?”
“Oh.” I reach in and pull it out. “I need you to give this to your sister for me, but wait until after the wedding.”
He takes it from me and, despite my protests, opens it. As soon as he sees the deed, his eyes widen. “Is this…?”
I nod. “You can see it when she does, but you have to promise me you’ll give that to her.”
“Any chance of you giving it to her yourself?” He asks hopefully.
I shake my head. “You know I can’t do that. Saying goodbye to her last night was hard enough. I can’t do it again. Besides, I don’t want to ruin her wedding day.”
He reluctantly places the envelope in his car, but takes out a smaller one when he does. “Apparently, you two think alike. This is from her.”
It’s a white, card-like envelope with my name written across the front. A part of me considers opening it now, but I don’t need Maverick watching me as I do. I slip it under the visor in my car and remind myself to open it when I get to the airport. Roman will be coming to pick up my beloved GTO after the wedding, and he’ll be shipping it to California for me in a couple weeks. Unfortunately, I just don’t know if it would survive a full drive across the country.
“Alright, let’s go have a drink for your last night in town.” Maverick suggests.
I consider turning him down, but I know it would be a lost cause. I’ll tell him no, and he’ll tell me I have no choice in the matter. Better to save us both some time and energy, and just agree to go.
“HERE’S TO YOU, BROOKS. May you be just as much of an overachiever in LA as you were here.” Maverick toasts.
As soon as we got here, Tatum, Roman, and Ivy were all waiting for us – a makeshift going away party of sorts. We spend the night drinking and reminiscing on the good times. Of course, Maverick has enough embarrassing memories to last a lifetime, and the more he drinks, the more he shares. By the end of the night, Ivy and Tatum know more about me than I had ever wanted.
When it hits midnight, we all decide it’s time to go. I have a flight to catch in the morning, and they have a wedding to attend. We head out to the parking lot and I start to say goodbye.
Ivy is first. I give her a hug and chuckle when she whispers ‘you two are idiots’ into my ear. I don’t even bother denying it. After the summer we put that girl through, she deserves a medal.
Roman is next, and significantly harder considering he’s been at my side every day for the last three years. I make sure to tell him to make his move on Ivy already, because if he doesn’t, someone else will. The last thing I want is for him to be in the same predicament I am.
After giving Rome a hug, I climb into the car with Maverick and Tatum. The whole ride back to the house is quiet and it isn’t until we get inside that Tatum starts to cry.
“Tate.” I murmur.
She rolls her teary eyes and slaps my chest. “Shut up.”
I pull her into my arms and kiss her head. This girl may be a royal pain in my ass at times, but she’s one of my best friends. At times, she was the only one who could talk some sense into me, especially when it came to McKenna. I don’t know what I’m going to do without her constant nagging.
“You know I’m just a seven-hour flight away. I’ll even buy your ticket.”
She sniffles. “I’m going to hold you to that.”
“I hope you do.”
As we let break apart, she goes into her room and leaves Maverick and I alone. He needs to leave bright and early tomorrow, so I know this is going to be the last time I’m seeing him for a while. If I thought saying goodbye to everyone else was hard, nothing beats this – except McKenna.
“You better come back to be my best man.” He orders.
I chuckle. “Wouldn’t miss it for the world.”
“No chance of talking you out of this, is there?”
“Afraid not, man.”
He thinks for a moment, then sighs. “I’m going to be girly for a minute and you’re not going to give me any shit for it.” I laugh but let him continue. “You’re going to text me every day, and you’re going to call me every night. No exceptions.”
“Are we going to exchange pretty bracelets, too?” I can’t resist and tease him anyway.
“Don’t tempt me, asshole.”
We embrace for a minute and try to hide that we’re both crying. Refusing to say the word goodbye, we nod instead and go into our separate bedrooms. As soon as the door shuts behind me, the emotions take over. Well, here goes nothing.
I END UP GETTING a late start and get stuck in traffic on my way to the airport. Thankfully, I left with plenty of time to spare before my flight leaves. As I ease the car up further, the sun peaks through the trees and shines right into my eyes. I pull down the visor, causing the envelope from McKenna to fall in my lap. I may as well open this now. Nothing better to do.
Breaking the seal, I open the flap and pull out the picture that was tucked inside. It’s a familiar one of Maverick, McKenna, and I on the beach. I can still remember the day Ivy took it like it was yesterday. We were so happy and didn’t have a care in the world. The picture looks a little worn, like she’s been carrying it around in her pocket. There’s even a crease down the middle where it was folded. I flip it over and see her handwriting on the back.
Thank you for always being my happy place.
Her happy place. I turn it back to the front and look at her face – it’s the same smile I’d go through hell and back to put on her face. My mind flashes to all the time I’ve seen that smile since then – the picnic on the beach; while we sailed across the ocean in the boat named after her; when I handed her a glass of her favorite wine at the club. All this time I’ve been too blind to see it. I’m what makes her happy. I spin the car around, illegally crossing the grass median, and press the gas pedal to the floor. I really hope I’m not too late.
MCKENNA
I stand in the mirror, looking at myself in the dress I’ve always imagined. It’s been altered to fit me perfectly, accenting all the right places. My makeup is professionally done and my hair is curled to look like some
thing out of a magazine. The veil sits neatly on top of my head and flows down my back. It’s all exactly how I pictured it. Well, almost.
“Are you ready to go?” Ivy asks.
I nod, and follow her and Tatum out to the limo where my mother is waiting for us. Just before I climb in, a plane in the sky catches my attention. Thoughts of Colton fill my head, reminding me of how he’s leaving today. I take a deep breath and shake the thoughts away. Tomorrow, I’ll let myself be sad. Today, I get married.
The ride to the venue is filled with champagne toasts and happy smiles. Even Ivy seems to have gotten over her doubts about me going through with the wedding. We pose for pictures and gush over how pretty we look – no matter how vain it may be.
As we get inside, I smile at my brother who’s been patiently waiting for us to arrive. His breath hitches as he looks me over. “You look beautiful, McKenna.”
“Thank you.”
When all the planning started, I asked Maverick to walk me down the aisle. However, standing here and getting ready to make one of the most important commitments of my life, something feels missing.
“Can you do me a favor?” I ask him hesitantly, not knowing how he will react to my request.
His brows furrow. “Anything. What do you need?”
“Go get dad for me.”
My words seem to shock everyone within hearing distance, but he agrees and walks through the doors – the same doors that have my future husband right on the other side of them. I swallow down the lump in my throat as my brother comes back with our dad at his side.
“What’s wrong, sweetheart? Is everything okay?”
There was such a long time where I resented him for what he did to our mom, but after this summer, I’ve never understood it more. Cheating was wrong of him, but it doesn’t mean that he didn’t love her. There could be a countless number of reasons why he did it, but all that matters, is what he did after. My mom was able to forgive him, why can’t I? If we’re ever going to make amends and get back to the family we once were, a step needs to be made.
Returning to Rockport: A Brother's Best Friend Romance Page 31